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Joy Behar Page
Interview With Dolly Parton; Interview With Valerie Bertinelli
Aired May 31, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: I`m excited today because this woman has had an extraordinary career: seven Grammies, two Oscar nominations, ten Country Music Association Awards and sales of more than 100 million records. The list goes on and on. And it`s hardly over. Her latest a DVD and CD combo platter called "Dolly Live from London" was just released.
Dolly, how are you? It`s a pleasure to have you here with us today.
DOLLY PARTON, MUSICIAN/SONGWRITER/ACTRESS: Well, thank you. I was so excited. I love your show. I`ve been watching you and you`re doing a great job.
BEHAR: Thank you. You know, we always get along with you at "The View". We love you at "The View".
PARTON: Yes.
BEHAR: And now you`re here and I have you all to myself without anybody interrupting me.
PARTON: Yes, let`s just do it all by ourselves. We like that.
BEHAR: Ok. So now let me start with the Country Music Awards last night. And we`ll get to your CD and your DVD. Don`t forget. Don`t worry we`ll get there.
PARTON: Oh I know.
BEHAR: But Taylor Swift -- Taylor Swift just made history as the youngest winner of the Country Music Association Awards and as Entertainer of the Year. Now, you won that award. Right? What do you think --
PARTON: Oh, I did. I did, long time ago.
BEHAR: You`ve won every award except the Nobel Peace Prize. And I think I`m going to nominate you for that. I`m nominating you.
PARTON: Well, thank you.
I was really so very proud of Taylor. She`s very young and she`s very talented. But she -- she deserved every bit of it. She has had an unbelievable last several months -- a year, a year and a half. She`s just killed them. So I wasn`t a bit surprised that she won that last night and all the other things she won.
We all love her and we think she`s really representing herself as well as Nashville and country music very well. So we were excited for her.
BEHAR: And she`s adorable.
And what did you think of the incident with Kanye West?
PARTON: Oh, I think that`s always silly when people show their butts like that. I feel like he probably was embarrassed about it later.
But anyway, I thought she handled it really well and I think everybody just wanted to smack a knot on his head. But that`s a -- I think it was all -- you know, what can you say? It was what it was. You know?
BEHAR: You know, you`ve had so much success in your career. Do you ever just -- and you made a lot of money at this point. I mean, let`s tell the truth here. Did you ever think of maybe just giving it up and just rolling around in your money?
PARTON: No. I never just wanted to roll around in my money. I always said I`d count my blessings more than I, you know, count my money, but I have had a great career. But I really like what I do. Like you. I really enjoy the people, I enjoy the performing. I love making things happen and seeing things happen.
So I`ve been at it since I was a little bitty kid. And I hope to be doing this from now on.
BEHAR: And you --
PARTON: And I have enough money to do what I need and want to do but I still love to work.
BEHAR: What was the first thing you bought when you made money in the beginning because you didn`t start out with a lot of success? What did you do when you first got that big check? I always like that question.
PARTON: Well, actually, I bought a Cadillac. I think every country music star back in those days, back when I started out, I thought if I didn`t have a Cadillac I definitely was not a star. So that was the first thing I bought. And out of -- for myself.
And when my little "Coat of Many Colors" song became a hit, the first money I got from that, I bought my mother a mink coat; that was back when it was still ok to wear it. And my mother didn`t know what to do with it. So I think she probably resold it and used the money on something else.
BEHAR: It`s always interesting to read that in the beginning people were telling you to change your look which you never did. You were always so original in the way you looked and they way you act and it certainly is, you know, something, we always know what Dolly Parton is going to look like and how beautiful you have been all these years.
What did you say to them when they said, Dolly, you`ve got to change your hair, you look a little bit too, you know, whatever. I don`t know what they said to you.
PARTON: Cheap. Cheap would be a good word. Actually I really did kind of pattern my look after the town tramp and I always was over- exaggerated. But I always felt like the way I looked -- kind of fit the way I felt inside. Because I didn`t want to just be plain and ordinary. I wanted a little more pizzazz.
The way I started out looking was a country girl`s idea of glamour. And that`s exactly what I still do. I just feel more like myself. And I just feel happier when I`m overdone.
BEHAR: You see, we have in common that I admire the neighborhood tramp also for some reason. I don`t know why, I just did. I just didn`t model myself after her because she was homely; the one in my neighborhood.
PARTON: Well --
BEHAR: Yes. But she was tramping around, believe me.
PARTON: Yes, well this lady, she was -- she wore her clothes, you know, her skirts all short and showed her legs and she wore high heel shoes, red nails, red lipstick and piled her peroxided hair way up high on top of her head. And I`ve thought she was absolutely beautiful.
So that was just kind of the look -- I did and I -- that`s what I said, everybody said she`s just trash. And I always tell the story, I thought when I was little that was I was going to grow up to be trash. And that`s how you and me both look.
BEHAR: Now, you know, the wonderful song that you wrote "I Will Always Love You" that Whitney Houston has recorded and was a big hit for her. I understand that you -- I understand that Elvis wanted to record that. I mean, you said no to Elvis. Why?
PARTON: Well, I didn`t say no to Elvis. I loved Elvis Presley. And he loved my song and he had intended to sing it. He had been working it up. And I had been invited to the session because Felton Jarvis (ph), a guy that was a friend of mine and he was also a great producer in Nashville at the time.
So he and Elvis loved it and had planned to do it and it was only like the day of or the day before that Colonel Tom Parker, who is a brilliant man, and I don`t blame him for doing it. But he called and said, you know, we don`t record any songs that we don`t -- that Elvis and I don`t get have the publishing on. And I thought, well, that`s already been a hit by me. It`s one of my most important copyrights.
So I just didn`t -- I just didn`t let them have it and it broke my heart because I still think about what it would have been like to hear Elvis sing the song.
There`s no work tapes of it anywhere that I`m aware of, but it was just a decision I had to make. One of my first big business decisions I guess and it was only after that Whitney recorded it and it did so well that I was really happy I had made that.
BEHAR: No wonder they call you the "Iron Butterfly". As a businesswoman you`re really very good at that, aren`t you? People don`t know that about you, I don`t think.
PARTON: Well, I love the business end of the business. I had to learn that early on. Because when they say you`re in the music business you have to think about those things, about your contracts, about the money you have to make to keep the band on the road and the expenses and to have a bus or ways to travel.
So you have to kind of start thinking early on that yourself until you can afford to hire people that will help you out with that. But I enjoy that -- that part of it as well.
BEHAR: You know, during your live shows you banter with the fans quite a bit, don`t you?
PARTON: Yes. I love the fans. It feels more like a reunion to me, like a family reunion. They`re out there; I know they`ve paid money to come see me. I appreciate that because they`re the ones that keep me, you know, in cheap clothes and hair.
But seriously, I do have a wonderful, warm relationship and I see it in their faces. I sense how people are. I can look out in that audience and see all the different faces and I really feel like I can kind of perceive what their moods are. And I`m out to kind of work with that and to cater to that person.
So it`s a love fest, if you`re a true entertainer and you really like the audience. I`m not afraid of the stage, I`m not stage fright. If I mess up I mess up and try to make that part of my show.
BEHAR: When you were a kid, I`m just wondering, were you -- you grew up with 12 other kids, right? You were 1 of 12?
PARTON: Yes. Six girls and six boys.
BEHAR: Wow. So how did you get attention for yourself?
PARTON: Well, I actually learned early on that there was not a lot of attention in that family of that many kids and to have a special attention unless you were in trouble or you were sick or something.
So I learned early on that by playing my guitar and writing songs it was fascinating to my mother and to a lot of my relatives, although we were all very musical. All my mother`s people played and sang. And so -- but I realized early on I was getting a lot of attention and so I thought that was something I wanted to do because I needed a lot of attention.
BEHAR: You do.
PARTON: And I still do so it served me well in my lifetime.
BEHAR: Do you think that talent, kind of talent that you have is genetic?
PARTON: Yes. I know that -- all of my mother`s people are very, very musical. Some of my big musical heroes are uncles and aunts and even my mother was a great singer. They were country people; a lot of them sang in church or just sat around and enjoyed just the music.
But I definitely inherited the music from my mother`s side. I`d like to think I get my business sense from my daddy. Even though he was not an educated man, he was a brilliant, intuitive, wonderful person. And I have his work ethic.
I know most creative people will sleep all day and get up and write songs when they feel like it and sing when they want to. But me, I`m up early, early just like I`m going to work. I never think of myself as a star. I`m still just a working girl in my own mind.
BEHAR: You`re a working girl to us, too, but a good one.
Don`t move. We`re going to come back with more with Dolly Parton.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(DOLLY PARTON PERFORMING "JOLENE")
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(DOLLY PARTON PERFORMING "9 TO 5")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m back with the legendary Dolly Parton. You`ve got me moving over here, Dolly.
PARTON: I know. Are you singing along? 9:00 to 5:00, I can just see you now.
BEHAR: Your music is hummable (ph). You don`t walk away from any of your shows not humming your tunes. That`s a great thing, I think.
PARTON: It is. It`s always a big thrill for me, too, to be on stage. I used to think early on when I used to work with other people that we`re stars and have hit songs and have a whole audience singing along. I thought that must be the neatest thing it in the world to have the whole crowd singing your songs.
Now when we do songs like "9:00 to 5:00" and "I Will Always Love You" and they sing along, it`s a major, major thrill.
BEHAR: Your grandfather -- I was reading that your grandfather was a Pentecostal preacher and he said to you at some point in your life that you were going to hell in a hand basket. What is a hand basket?
PARTON: Oh, that`s just an old expression. It just means you`re going to hell. It just means you`re going to get there quicker, like Satan`s going to carry you there, I guess, in a basket. I don`t know.
But my grandfather was, like you say, a holy roller preacher. It was a very strict religion. It was not in the rules to be wearing makeup and tight clothes and all that.
But my grandfather was very, very proud of me. He lived to see me become a big star and see that people really did care about me and that I wasn`t as bad as I looked.
I looked like Jezebel but he got over that after he saw that -- after I wrote a song about him called "Daddy was an Old Time Preacher Man". He was really proud of that. That kind of smoothed it over for me.
BEHAR: The other thing is you have a very big gay following, Dolly. Why do you think that is? What do they like about you so much?
PARTON: I think it`s because they know that I`m different, too, and that it took me a long time to be accepted. And I think that they just kind of relate to that. And plus a lot of my gay guy friends, you know, they love to dress up or they`re very sensitive and very creative. I think they relate to that side of me as well.
But I think they just appreciate the fact I just love everybody for who they are. We`re not supposed to try to change people. We should allow people to be who they are and love them as they are.
BEHAR: So then would you say you are pro-gay marriage? I`m just curious because your background would say otherwise.
PARTON: Oh, I know that`s true. I always say, sure, why can`t they get married? They should suffer like the rest of us do.
BEHAR: That`s good to know. What would we do without our gay audience? No back lighting. The studio would be barren. It would be terrible. We need them.
PARTON: That`s true. That`s true.
BEHAR: Here`s a Twitter question for you. Dolly has a huge gay following. What are your thoughts on Joel Osteen`s view on gays? Joel Osteen says that gays are not God`s best work. That was his quote.
PARTON: Well, I don`t get into really talking this issue to those degrees but I don`t want to talk about him, I don`t want to talk about them. Like I say, I think God made us who we are and how we are. And I don`t think that if he was a religious person he would be judging people.
BEHAR: That`s nice. That`s good to say.
Now, you just released your double disk CD DVD live from London. Are British fans different from your fans here in the United States?
PARTON: Oh, we have wonderful fans in the United States. But we do have great, great fans in Europe when we get a chance to go there, especially London we love to play. We had actually been on a whole tour -- a five-week tour and we had just -- we were winding up our tour in London at the 02 Arena and we thought we`re going to film this because this has been a wonderful trip, wonderful. And maybe we`ll come back and put it together.
We had such a great time, such a wonderful audience. And all the songs, of course, that they love and all the popular songs, and then we do a lot of variety of other things. We do some interviews, talk to the band, show the rehearsal, show the town.
This DVD is a wonderful thing to watch. It`s colorful and entertaining, but you can see for yourself on the DVD how involved the audience really gets. They knew all the words and they were swinging their arms back and forth on all the songs, they`re singing along. It made for a wonderful experience for all of us and I`m very proud of the DVD and CD. It`s all in one package.
I have it right here. I`m hawking my goods. It`s like, I call it my double D`s. It`s like double disks here. On one side you`ve got the DVD and the CD -- it makes a nice little stocking stuffer, too.
BEHAR: Your double d`s. You don`t get tired of those boob jokes, do you? You love those boob jokes, don`t you?
PARTON: I might as well learn to love them. If I`m not telling them, somebody`s telling them about me. It`s not like I`m trying to hide them or anything.
BEHAR: No, you shouldn`t hide them. A lot of people pay a lot of money for those boobs.
PARTON: I did.
BEHAR: That was a good one. Ok.
Now, one more question about the record. You now have your own label. The Dolly Records, right?
PARTON: Yes. This is on Dolly Records.
BEHAR: Why did you do that? Why do you need your own label?
PARTON: Well, because -- well, the music business in general has totally changed since the early days with us and a lot of the major labels are not doing that well. So a lot of the artists are really starting their own labels and, of course, everything has changed since then.
But we just thought it would be a smart move to make. I`ve been kind of putting my own records out for a while now. I always say I will always do that even if I have to sell them out of the trunk of my car, I`ll be writing songs and singing them.
But we`ve had actually three records on Dolly Records. We had the cast album from the "9:00 to 5:00 Musical" from Broadway; that`s on Dolly Records and of course, we have the "Back Woods Barbie" one of the songs from the "9:00 to 5:00" but it was also a CD of mine, the first one. We`re doing pretty good with our little label.
BEHAR: We`ll be back more with more Dolly Parton. Stay right there.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PARTON: Thank you.
Any how, thank you for remembering "Jolene". Of course that song`s is kind of loosely based on a little truth that happened years ago when I first got married. This old redheaded gal who was working at the bank, she decided she was going to steal my husband. Well, she didn`t get him.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m back with the beautiful and talented Dolly Parton.
Dolly, I want to read you some Twitter questions because your fans are out there and they want to know certain things. Is that ok with you?
PARTON: Oh, sure.
BEHAR: Here`s one. I know you`ve been married for 43 years. This person wants to know, "How has Dolly kept her marriage together for so many years when most celebrities don`t last?"
PARTON: Well, I stay gone.
BEHAR: Stays what? I didn`t hear you. I`m sorry.
PARTON: I stay gone from home. I stay gone a lot. So he doesn`t get tired of me.
BEHAR: You stay gone. I go along with that. I have a friend who says that she and her boyfriend or her husband, whatever he is at this point, they have quality time apart. I like that.
PARTON: Yes. That is good. We have quality time together and quality time apart.
BEHAR: All right.
PARTON: We get along real good.
BEHAR: That`s good. Ok.
"Dolly has a lot of dead people in her songs," it says. "Does she have a morbid streak?"
PARTON: Well, I think -- I think all country people have a morbid streak. I think that`s sort of like country music in general because I know I have this one song that I wrote called "Me and Little Andy" and it`s about a little girl with her dog and the little girl dies and then the little dog dies, too, and somebody said, "Well, I`m used to kids and people dying in these country songs but did you have to kill the damn dog?" So --
BEHAR: There`s a theme for a song.
PARTON: Yes.
BEHAR: Are you writing anything about a dead cat that we can look forward to?
PARTON: No, I`m not. I`m not. I am still writing, though. But anyway, to get back to -- in all sincerity, I think that`s just the way of country music -- a lot of people you just write about things that happen. Yes, we have a morbid side but I have a happy side too.
BEHAR: You know, it`s funny you say that, because, you know, I`m Italian and the Italians love opera and it`s also very sad and from the guts and morbid in many ways and the Grand Ole Opry. I just realized it.
PARTON: Oh, yes, it is similar.
BEHAR: Here`s one more question before I have to go. "What`s the biggest misconception folks have about you?"
PARTON: Well, Lord, I can`t even imagine. I`ve been so out there. I think people know just about everything there is to know about me. I always just say I want people to not just see the big hair, I want them to know that there`s a brain under there. And not just to see the big boobs, that there`s also a heart under there.
Maybe it`s just to see me and just think that that`s all there is. Hopefully there`s just a little more than that.
BEHAR: I think that everybody knows that you`re just as smart as you are beautiful and talented Dolly, to tell you the truth. I think everybody knows that at this point so don`t worry about it.
PARTON: Well, thank you. Again, I wanted to tell you, I watch your show because I`m usually up that time of night and getting ready to kind do my things. But I think you`re doing a great job and I love your hair.
BEHAR: Thank you, Dolly. It was great to see you.
PARTON: I do.
BEHAR: It was great to see you. Come back again whenever you can, ok?
PARTON: Ok.
BEHAR: All right.
PARTON: All right. See you later, bye-bye.
BEHAR: The CD and DVD, "Dolly Live from London" is available now. Dolly Parton, thank you for joining us.
And we`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Dad, don`t you think we should be able to spend our money on a car if we want to?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not if it doesn`t make good sense. Your mother was absolutely right in forbidding it. No, there`s only one sensible solution -
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know, keep taking the bus.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Actually, I was thinking of buying you a new car.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Dad, who wants to ride a bus to school every day. I mean -- a new car!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: From there to here it`s been a long, long road and my next guest has certainly navigated it well. I`m happy to have the author of "Finding It With Me," actress Valerie Bertinelli.
VALERIE BERTINELLI, ACTRESS/AUTHOR "FINDING IT WITH ME": How didn`t I win an Emmy for that? Seriously, come on.
BEHAR: You couldn`t have been cuter.
VALERIE BERTINELLI, AUTHOR: Oh my god, that was about it. It was all I had.
BEHAR: And I hate to jump to this, but I was watching this clip before and I see that Mackenzie is in it also. She was very young. Was that whole thing going on her father?
BERTINELLI: I don`t believe - this was the first season. I don`t believe then, I think it was -- it happened after when she was 19 or 17. She`s 15 here, so no.
BEHAR: She`s 15.
BERTINELLI: Fifteen or sixteen.
BEHAR: That was a shocking story.
BERTINELLI: Yes.
BEHAR: To hear that happened. And I never heard the phrase consensual incest. This is --
BERTINLLINI: I know.
BEHAR: I mean there was one woman a few years ago, Catherine Harrison who wrote a book called "The Kiss" where he said she slept with her father as an adult also. But that was semi fictionalized.
BERTINELLI: Was it?
BEHAR: Yes, this was strange to hear.
BERTINELLI: Yes well I`ve know Mackenzie for obviously a very, very long time.
BEHAR: Yes.
BERTINELLI: And I`ve known also that she`s been tortured for a very, very long time. You don`t continually, year after year treat yourself as badly as she did for no reason. I mean there was something going on, and obviously, we know why.
BEHAR: Well it`s so shocking that some people don`t believe her. Some people say she didn`t --
BERTINELLI: I don`t get that. What in the world could she gain from this by saying something so horrific. No, plus, like I said, I`ve seen her struggle with sobriety for so long.
BEHAR: Yes.
BERTINELLI: There`s some stuff going on. I think we need to be giving her grace and just, you know, let her be. The thing is she`s doing really great things for incest behaviors, too.
BEHAR: Right well her sisters, her half sister, China believes -
BERTINELLI: China -
BEHAR: And the other one, Bijou (ph) -
BERTINELLI: Bijou is too young - I just you know.
BEHAR: They believe her though, I mean -- don`t they?
BERTINELLI: I don`t know. I don`t know, I only talk to Mac. I haven`t seen China in a lot of years. I don`t know, you know, why they don`t support her. I don`t.
BEHAR: But, no, China said she believes her.
BERTINELLI: Yes China does.
BEHAR: It`s Michelle, I guess you call her the stepmother she said she doesn`t believe it -- it`s impossible to be married to John Philips all that time and to believe that he would have done something like that.
BERTINELLI: For her to blame Mackenzie for being high, I mean Michelle was high a lot of those years too so you -
BEHAR: Exactly.
BERTINELLI: You can turn a blind eye to a lot of things. I know I turned a blind eye on a lot of things.
BEHAR: We are talking about a lot of drug addicts.
BERTINELLI: A lot, yes.
BEHAR: Anyway let`s move on to your diet.
BERTINELLI: Yes -- speaking of drug addicts.
BEHAR: The thing about it, you didn`t take diet pills.
BERTINELLI: No but food is my drug.
BEHAR: No but we are Italian, we were talking about this on "The View." in the bathroom actually.
BERTINELLI: I know peeing next to each other. You are a very quiet peer too -
BEHAR: Am I a quiet peer? I purposely pee very quietly.
BERTINELLI: All of a sudden I realize, oh my god, Joy is there and I couldn`t pee, I`m like OK, I got to get it out now because I just can`t sit here. She`s going to be like, why isn`t she peeing. Just had to pee. So I finally did pee. But I think you were down to the sink by then. Did you hear me?
BEHAR: You know you have to remember -- I did not hear you but you have to get over this. Because you have to be the queen of England pees.
BERTINELLI: Oh right that`s true and poos.
BEHAR: And does that too, OK.
BERTINELLI: We hope she`s not constipated.
BEHAR: So now you lost - no I don`t know - that could be a descriptive term.
BERTINELLI: You never know. Yes.
BEHAR: You lost 40 pounds on Jenny Craig.
BEHAR: I lost 30 pounds.
BERTINELLI: Yes you did, Patty says hello by the way.
BEHAR: Then say hi back to Patty whoever that is, I don`t remember who she is.
BERTINELLI: She`s the CEO.
BEHAR: Oh that Patty, OK, yes, I know who she is but you know, I gained 15 pounds back and I`m trying to lose it again. But I have to be paid to lose weight. If they would pay again I will lose that 15 pounds.
BERTINELLI: You hear that? You hear that? Folks over at Jenny. We would make some fun commercials would we not?
BEHAR: Together.
BERTINELLI: Yes.
BEHAR: We would -
BERTINELLI: That would be fun.
BEHAR: But you looked really great in the bikini shot.
BERTINELLI: Thank you.
BEHAR: Do we have a picture of it or not? We showed it on "The View" today. You looked gorgeous.
BERTINELLI: Thank you.
BEHAR: And you were skinny mini there and you worked your butt. There you are, look at you.
BERTINELLI: I worked my butt off. Oh, lordy, yes.
BEHAR: So that was -- you still get into a bikini
BERTINELLI: I was in a bikini all summer. I had a ball. I was in the privacy of my backyard, no paparazzi allowed. No, you don`t want the wrong angel being, you know, hanging out.
BEHAR: Well I mean to take a picture in a bikini is very gutsy I think.
BERTINELLI: Well that was different, they weren`t taking it out of my behind, they were taking it at the front of me and you know I was at a good angle.
BEHAR: Yes but you were tight, you were taut, you must have been working out.
BERTINELLI: I worked hard, I worked really, really hard and I`m proud of myself. I set a goal and I accomplished my goal.
BEHAR: Yes.
BERTINELLI: And that is a good feeling for someone who, like me, falls behind on some of the goals I set for myself. This was a feel good experience for me. I gave myself a big pat on the back.
BEHAR: Well I think that when you set the goal people have an easier time dieting than keeping it off.
BERTINELLI: that`s the whole -
BEHAR: That`s hard, the maintenance - yes --
BERTINELLI: The maintenance is this whole other animal that is really challenging. For the first time I`ve been in maintenance, this is the longest time I`ve ever been in maintenance because I`ve always gained it back. So this is a whole new animal. It`s an interesting journey. I`m enjoying to it a certain degree because I don`t want to gain the 40 pound back and have to lose it again. But this is where you get into the nitty gritty why I gained so much weight in the first place.
BEHAR: Well what do you think is the reason? Were you and emotional either?
BERTINELLI: All the time. Yes, I still am. I mean I really have to catch myself and watch myself to make sure I don`t fall into that bad habit again.
BEHAR: But I see some people cannot keep it off. I mean Oprah Winfrey goes up and down. Kirstie Alley she --
BERTINELLI: I`ve been a yo-yo dieter all my life too, this is the first time it stuck.
BEHAR: But these girls really have trouble. They are on television, you know, you`d think it would be easier to really stick your nose to the grind stone.
BERTINELLI: But you know, it`s really not, it`s not. Because it`s -- that`s Kirstie. We are all the same when it comes to this. It`s a challenge for all of us. And it`s really not just about will power it`s about finding out why your life was so chaotic it manifested itself into being overweight. And that`s what I`m trying to find out, and it`s different every day, the stresses are different, the emotions are different.
BEHAR: Do you eat from depression? Some people eat because they are happy. Some people eat because they are sad. Some people just eat. Which one are you?
BERTINELLI: I`m all of it.
BEHAR: You are all the above.
BERTINELLI: I`m all of them. I`m Italian. I grew up on food. From the littlest memory I have of watching my grandmother, you know cook in the basement at my aunt`s Adeline`s house and uncle Dino so - and my mom cooked three meals a day.
BEHAR: Did you live in the basement or did you just cook in the basement.
BERTINELLI: Hello you are Italian, no?
BEHAR: I know -
BERTINELLI: Did you not have a basement kitchen? Everyone had a basement kitchen. Yes.
BEHAR: I know, but the thing is when you come from a background like ours, the food is good. So you keep eating it. Boring --
BERTINELLI: No -- but see, I wasn`t heavy when I was young, young. You ate but you ate three meals and went out and played and you were outside all day and when it got dark went back for dinner. And then dinner was done the kitchen was closed and then you went to bed. The day started - it wasn`t always this nibbling, this gnashing and eating in front of the television and being unconscious when you eat.
BEHAR: That`s true but so if you work out you lose weight right?
BERTINELLI: You move your body, yes, simple math actually.
BEHAR: But also when you get over 35 it`s harder because your metabolism slows down. And I mean that`s just a fact.
BERTINELLI: It is, it is, so you have to work harder.
BEHAR: Let`s look at this Jessica Simpson`s weight issues have been very public.
BERTINELLI: She doesn`t have weight issue.
BEHAR: Do we have clip from FOX, let`s see this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Man I still didn`t believe Tony dated Jessica Simpson even after she blew up bigger than Ansel Adams.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: How brutal can the media be about press and these people making fun of Jessica, the poor girl - I mean she put on maybe, she doesn`t even look heavy to me.
BERTINELLI: Maybe five pounds.
BEHAR: And they are all over her.
BERTINELLI: I don`t get it. She`s a very beautiful young woman and, by the way, I guess all that thing about Tony Romo, you know, not being good when he was with her, you still suck -- he`s not having a very good season so you can`t blame it on Jessica any more.
BEHAR: The girl are sticking together over here.
BERTINELLI: Sorry I`m a Saints fan and we`re having great time so far, 4-0.
BEHAR: I`m so bad at sports.
BERTINELLI: New Orleans Saints they are playing the giants this weekend and I`m scared because it`s about you know, 4-0 and 5-0.
BEHAR: In New York
BERTINELLI: I don`t know where they are playing in New York or New Orleans? I`m not sure, I know I won`t be at the game.
BEHAR: The Giants are from New York aren`t they?
BERTINELLI: The New York Giants, seriously.
BEHAR: I`m terrible.
BERTINELLI: I`m feeling so terrible right now, really, Tony Romo, you must be a nice guy. I guess you are but, OK -
BEHAR: It`s fine, don`t worry about him he`s not watching the show anyway.
BERTINELLI: Yes, he doesn`t care.
BEHAR: No -
BERTINELLI: I wouldn`t care if I were him, why would I care.
BEHAR: I want to talk more about the book. Because you have stuff about your marriage and how weird it was. I love that stuff. Yes. So I`ll be back with --
BERTINELLI: Oh that was such a long time ago.
BEHAR: I know but it is so current in my mind right now because I have the book.
BERTINELLI: OK.
BEHAR: I`ll be back with Valerie Bertinelli in just a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: OK I`m back with Valerie Bertinelli. OK let`s talk about your new book "Finding It."
BERTINELLI: OK.
BEHAR: What did you find first of all?
BERTINELLI: I`m still finding it.
BEHAR: What is it?
BERTINELLI: I`m finding, exactly, I`m just -that whole weird thing about maintenance and finding what caused me to put the weight on, what I`m going to find to keep it off. Just finding it in my weird bizarre life, which isn`t probably so weird because a lot of people I think have the same stories going on.
BEHAR: Oh yes, highly relatable, are you kidding me.
BERTINELLI: Yes.
BEHAR: But you also talk about your marriage to Eddie Van Halen who is a great rock store and a cute guy and everything. How long was that marriage?
BERTINELLI: Well, I think we were married for 20 years.
BEHAR: Wow.
BERTINELLI: But we were separated for some of it. I don`t know. I`ve known him for almost 30 years.
BEHAR: Wow. I can`t believe it`s been that long. I was looking at you.
BERTINELLI: August of 1980 we met. So 29 --
BEHAR: Time goes by so fast. It was just yesterday, Monica Lewinsky was just a little girl under the desk.
BERTINELLI: I just want to know why she didn`t clean the dress. Are you disgusting or what? Clean the dress. Golly. I mean I send in my clothes to get cleaned if they are dirty.
BEHAR: Because she`s looney tunes.
BERTINELLI: Disgusting.
BEHAR: Let me ask you something, there was discussion about extramarital affairs in this book which usually is the reason why people break up. That`s it. It`s not the baloney
BERTINELLI: I think by the time --
BEHAR: I need to find myself -
BERTINELLI: No.
BEHAR: And I need my space. That`s a bunch of baloney.
BERTINELLI: Right.
BEHAR: Somebody is waiting in the wings.
BERTINELLI: Right.
BEHAR: So what happened there?
BERTINELLI: Well I think by the time you start having affairs, something is obviously quite broken in the marriage. So, obviously something was quite broken in our marriage early on. We kept up a good fight and we didn`t quite make it.
BEHAR: But who was cheating on who?
BERTINELLI: Do you have to know who, when, where? We had a little thing going. Ed things I did first and I think he did first. We don`t know about the timing.
BEHAR: But I`m interested in that, it`s almost like the same conversation about why we eat. People stray in a relationship for an emotional reason usually.
BERTINELLI: Because you`re not being emotionally fulfilled in whatever relationship you`re in.
BEHAR: Right well yes, either that or you`re a horny dog.
BERTINELLI: Yes, that too. And when you are in your 20`s - you know -
BEHAR: I mean I refer you to governor Spitzer for example and some of these other dogs that we keep reading about.
BERTINELLI: Yes, Edwards, yes.
BEHAR: They are out there hounding it up. But I think that with women it seems like there is an emotional --
BERTINELLI: We know how to hound it up once in a while too, unfortunately.
BEHAR: We do but we have usually have a reason, it`s not just oh I --
BERTINELLI: So we`re getting a get out of jail free card? No, no --
BEHAR: You think women cheat in the same way men cheat?
BERTINELLI: I think cheating is cheating and it`s wrong and you shouldn`t do it. And I can speak from experience having been cheated on and having had cheated. And I got to say I think the feeling -- it feels worse for me to have cheated on because that feeling, the pain I inflicted on somebody, I don`t want to ever do again. The good thing is now I`m in a relationship I know I don`t want to hurt that man ever again.
BEHAR: So you learned.
BERTINELLI: Yes, I`ve learned my lesson. Monogamy is in my life. And if I don`t think I can be monogamous with this man, which I really seriously doubt because he`s really, not going to go there - OK, he`s really good in bed --
BEHAR: Is he really? Better than Van Halen. You don`t have to answer that.
BERTINELLI: Oh, my god my parents are watching this. I`m sorry, pop. I love you. Hi mom. I`m still a virgin, right?
BEHAR: Well you`re like a virgin. Let`s put it that way.
BERTINELLI: I had a child 18 years ago.
BEHAR: But what was I saying? Extra marital.
BERTINELLI: I don`t know. Let`s get a drink.
BEHAR: The thing about monogamy when you are younger like under 40 is that monogamy is monotonous. It`s really the truth. And when you are young -
BERTINELLI: Well I guess it depends on who you are being monogamous with.
BEHAR: Well it is difficult to stay monogamous when you are young I think.
BERTINELLI: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Yes, you`re still finding it.
BERTINELLI: You are still finding it yes.
BEHAR: You are still finding it -
BERTINELLI: Whatever that is, it may be. Right.
BEHAR: You know so that`s the real reason.
BERTINELLI: That`s why I think getting married at 20 was stupid. And I don`t suggest anybody do that. I think more mature love that I`m going through right now -- I want my buddy. I really - I enjoy his company. He`s my best friend. I don`t want to hurt him.
BEHAR: First of all you named your son Wolfgang -
BERTINELLI: William
BEHAR: William Van Halen. You left out the Bertinelli, fortunately for him. I mean this could take a year for him to know his name.
BERTINELLI: Yes, poor guy.
BEHAR: But I mean you really named him after Mozart didn`t you?
BERTINELLI: Amadeus, yes.
BERTINELLI: Were you lying in bed very close to orgasm one night and listening to Mozart and said you know what? Wolfgang, that`s the name for this kid.
BERTINELLI: No I loved the movie, Amadeus.
BEHAR: Oh it`s a great movie.
BERTINELLI: And I love the way Elizabeth said Wolfy, Wolfy. And I thought that sound really cute and try to picking a name that goes with Van Halen is not real easy. His father`s name was Jan.
BEHAR: Yes.
BERTINELLI: But it`s spelled JAN, so I didn`t want Wolfy, if he was going to be boy to be called Jan. So I just didn`t think that would cut it in America.
BEHAR: How about Robert Van Halen. That works.
BERTINELLI: No.
BEHAR: Tom Van Halen.
BERTINELLI: Tom, No.
BEHAR: Frank? How about Salvatore.
BERTINELLI: I like Wolfy - yes Salvatore, Mazorino (ph) Van Halen -
BEHAR: I think Wolfgang really determines that the kid had to be in the business with your husband. And he is right?
BERTINELLI: Yes. He`s got his dad`s gift and not mine.
BEHAR: Why you have a gift too.
BERTINELLI: Motor mouth?
BEHAR: But what instrument does he play? Designee started on the drums when he was 9. And then picked up the guitar when he was 12 or 11. Then his dad asked him to start playing the bass. So he started playing the bass.
BEHAR: He`s talented.
BERTINELLI: He`s very talented. He`s got a beautiful singing voice. And he plays, oh, he`s my boy.
BEHAR: Which one is he?
BERTINELLI: He`s that one.
BEHAR: Oh he`s cute from the -
BERTINELLI: He`s a cutie pie. He`s a big boy and he is now teaching himself the piano.
BEHAR: He`s teaching himself -
BERTINELLI: And he kicks ass in rock band.
BEHAR: Really? Does he sing too?
BERTINELLI: Yes, he does. Yes.
BEHAR: And what was that whole thing today about him being a virgin. You think he`s a virgin.
BERTINELLI: Really? Seriously, we going to talk about that. I got a text from my son, we`re watching "The View" now. Are you still speaking to me.
BEHAR: He`s now 18 years old?
BERTINELLI: He`s a virgin, right?
BEHAR: Yes, whatever, he might be, he not.
BERTINELLI: Right.
BEHAR: But that`s none of your business, now.
BERTINELLI: None of my business.
BEHAR: Let go.
BERTINELLI: As long as he`s not, he`s protected, don`t want to talk about it.
BEHAR: All right, nevermind, this happened today you didn`t want to talk about it but is it in here in the book.
BERTINELLI: Well I talk about the sex talk and the sex talk that Ed had with Wolfy.
BEHAR: Oh yes that you were listening to.
BERTINELLI: Well yes because it was on the road and we were listening in the dressing room and I could hear Ed talking, the you ever met my ex- husband he has this voice, yes, Wolfy -- sound like he`s in the mafia. He`s saying be careful what you do with your heart. Protect it. When you fall in love don`t protect it so much so you don`t let anyone in. Protect her heart and treat her with kindness. Oh that`s the kind of stuff that I would say.
BEHAR: That`s beautiful.
BERTINELLI: and then he says and be careful of the skanks and whores and bitches that are going to want to date you because you`re in a rock band.
BEHAR: Well he should know.
BERTINELLI: Right, I wouldn`t have put it exactly that way but it`s good information for him to have. Because I`ve run into skanks and whores in my life time.
BEHAR: I bet you have. So, you`re happy with the way he spoke to your son?
BERTINELLI: I am. You know what? I may joke around but he`s a really good dad.
BEHAR: Are you friends with Eddie now?
BERTINELLI: We`re friendly. I don`t know I would call him my friend or buddy the way Tom is my buddy but I like him again and I fell out of like with him for a long time. I have always loved with him. I like his new wife.
BEHAR: Oh, he got married again, too.
BERTINELLI: I was at the wedding.
BEHAR: Oh that`s so nice. See that.
BERTINELLI: So was Tom, Tom was with me.
BEHAR: You know once you have a child, you`re never really separated 100 percent from your husband.
BERTINELLI: No.
BEHAR: It`s impossible.
BERTINELLI: So you must treat each other with kindness.
BEHAR: That`s right.
BERTINELLI: You must love your children more than you hate your ex. You got to just figure out a way to --
BEHAR: I`m not letting you go yet. This woman isn`t going anywhere, more with Valerie Bertinelli when we return.
BERTINELLI: Because I won`t shut up.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: We have many more things to discuss.
BERTINELLI: Can somebody please have Tom come in here so I can just see the look on his face.
BEHAR: Yes, let`s meet Tom. Why don`t we bring Tom on camera.
BERTINELLI: Honey can you come in, honey.
BEHAR: Let`s put Tom on camera.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Valerie Bertinelli and her boyfriend Tom Vitali are sitting across from me.
BERTINELLI: We broke him in.
BEHAR: We`ve been discussing Valerie`s new book, "Finding It" and a lot more. Welcome to the show, Tom.
TOM VITALI, VALERIE`S BOYFRIEND: Thank you.
BEHAR: We dragged you in from the green room.
VITALI: Pleasure to be here.
BEHAR: Now you two are an item for how long?
VITALI: Five years.
BERTINELLI: Five years next week.
BEHAR: So you`ve been dating for five years. Are there wedding plans?
BERTINELLI: Or living in sin.
BEHAR: I know me too for 27 years.
BERTINELLI: I know what did you call him the other day?
BEHAR: A spousal equivalent.
BERTINELLI: I love that. You are my spousal equivalent, honey, I don`t want to do the seating chart.
BEHAR: You`re not going to get married?
BERTINELLI: I don`t want to do the seating chart.
BEHAR: OK.
BERTINELLI: Everyone gets mad at you. Because no one wants to be at table 17.
BEHAR: That`s true.
BERTINELLI: I don`t know why.
BEHAR: How about you, you want to get married?
VITALI: I don`t know. She hasn`t asked me yet.
BEHAR: So if she asked you did?
VITALI: I might, I might.
BERTINELLI: You want to marry me? I didn`t say that
BEHAR: Where did you meet?
VITALI: Go ahead.
BERTINELLI: At my brother`s house in Scottsdale, Arizona.
VITALI: Yes.
BERTINELLI: My brother, Patrick and his wife, Stacey. We were going to a wine event and I keep my wine in the freezer, especially in Scottsdale, it`s hot as all get out.
BEHAR: In the freezer.
BERTINELLI: Yes.
BEHAR: What you suck on ice cubes?
BERTINELLI: You get it out before it gets too cold.
BEHAR: I see.
BERTINELLI: I know, I bruise my wine all the time but you know that`s the way I like it. So I take it out before it gets to frozen and he was in front of the freezer and I saw this guy in a tux that was like, looked like that and I was like --
VITALI: It was a black tie event, we had a good time.
BERTINELLI: So, you know, I said, hello, I`m Valerie and you are -- Tom.
BEHAR: So what did you think, a big star like that coming on to you, Tom?
VITALI: Yes, you know it was difficult. I had to get used to it.
(LAUGHTER)
VITALI: I just - clouded her with champagne.
BERTINELLI: Yes he did, at the event, every time my champagne glass would go down to here, I`d have another one in my hand. That was before Jenny Craig.
BEHAR: Oh he met you and fell in love with you before you were --
BERTINELLI: When I was big.
BEHAR: That`s a keeper.
VITALI: I was big, too. I was 220.
BEHAR: For a man, it doesn`t have the same effect. They criticize the women.
BERTINELLI: He had a big belly, it`s not big anymore.
BEHAR: Oh the old ball zone.
BERTINELLI: Yes he has a little --
(LAUGHTER)
VITALI: That`s good.
BEHAR: I know it`s really something. You know we had a couple of e- mails for you. You want me to, questions for you.
BERTINELLI: What? Sure what are they saying?
BEHAR: There was a question from --
BERTINELLI: You can read that without glasses.
BEHAR: I`m older than you, believe m.
BERTINELLI: How come your eyes --
BEHAR: "People" magazine, they print it every month.
BERTINELLI: But if they didn`t print your birthday, wouldn`t you be offended.
BEHAR: NO, I would not but I mean they -- like Lassie, 12. They`re ridiculous.
BERTINELLI: Which Lassie?
BEHAR: I know so this woman, Janice Pasianisnic (ph)-- I am on a very low -
BERTINELLI: Italian name.
BEHAR: Yes, she writes, I`m on a very low calorie program now and I`m worried about when I get back to real food. How did you handle that and are you still on Jenny Craig.
BERTINELLI: Yes, I`m still on Jenny Craig. And this is the whole thick, she has to turn her head around because if it`s super low, I don`t know how much weight she has to lose, maybe she`s on too low as program. But as you, in Jenny, as you start to incorporate other food into your program, and as you get to a maintenance level, you can up your calorie count, but not to a point you go back to your bad behavior.
BEHAR: But you`re off the food that they package for you at that point.
BERTINELLI: No, I still eat it.
BEHAR: Oh you still do.
BERTINELLI: Yes. I like it.
BEHAR: But not 100 percent.
BERTINELLI: No.
BEHAR: OK, well that was -
BERTINELLI: Some days, I do eat it 100 percent though. I`ll just want to have a nice clean day and know what`s going into my body and I`ll just do Jenny and my two snacks all day.
BEHAR: You know Valerie I just love you. I think you are just adorable. You are my kind of girl.
BERTINELLI: Yes you`re my kind of gal.
BEHAR: And I just love it. Tom too. I think you`re just a wonderful little couple.
VITALI: Yes, thanks.
BEHAR: I love it. Thanks to Valerie and Tom and to all my guests and thank you for watching. Good night, everybody.
BERTINELLI: I love your show. It is so good.
END
