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Joy Behar Page
Interview with Carol Burnett; Interview With Henry Winkler
Aired August 20, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CAROL BURNETT: You wrote a poem about me that you would like to read? All right. Why don`t you stand up and read it? What`s your name?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Danny Krueger.
BURNETT: Hi, Danny.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi. I`m in love with a wonderful girl, but there`s a catch, oh, brother. The girl I love this glorious girl is old enough to be my mother.
BURNETT: Sit down, Danny.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: Well that, of course, was Carol Burnett doing what she does best -- getting laughs. On stage, in films, and for 11 years on the legendary "Carol Burnett Show" she put smiles on faces all across America. And I`m smiling just having her here for sure.
Welcome so much.
Her new book is called "This Time Together, Laughter and Reflection". Carol?
CAROL BURNETT, ACTRESS/COMEDIAN: Hi, honey.
BEHAR: You know, I just think you`re the greatest. Everyone clapped when you walked in because -- no one else got that so far.
BURNETT: Really?
BEHAR: They clap after they`re done, but not when they walk in. Like when the queen of England would walk.
BURNETT: Hello. Hello, everyone, hello. Where`s my pocketbook?
BEHAR: She can`t dress for nothing.
BURNETT: Oh true.
BEHAR: Poor thing. So, you know, the adlibbing that you do there, the Q&A part you did on your show, that was not easy to do, was it? In those days nobody did that really.
BURNETT: Well you know what? I got the idea from Garry Moore when I was on his show as a regular back in the covered wagon days. Garry would go out and warm up the audience, instead of having a comedian tell jokes.
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: So he would go out, bump up the lights and take questions from --
BEHAR: Right.
BURNETT: But they never taped it, he just never did that. So when my own show was going to be done, my executive producer, Bob Banner said, "You know, Carol, they should -- you should come out and let the audience get to know you as a person before you start putting on the fright wigs and blacking out the teeth and wearing the fat suits."
BEHAR: Uh huh.
BURNETT: You know? And I said, oh, I couldn`t do that. I couldn`t - - he said, like Garry used to do. I said, oh, no, I wouldn`t be that smart or quick, you know. He said, we`ll do like two or three weeks. We`ll try it. When we were just going to go on the air --
BEHAR: Uh huh.
BURNETT: -- see how you feel. You know?
And I`ll never forget the first time that we were taping our first show and I kind of walked out and I was, hi -- I was scared that nobody would raise their hands and then I was terrified that somebody would.
BEHAR: Uh-huh.
BURNETT: And I was just -- I was awful. You know, but then finally somebody said, who`s on tonight? You know, I told them who our guest was. Then the following week I did it. I felt a little bit better. Then by the third week people in the audience had seen the show and they were kind of aware that we were going to do this. So then a lot of hands started shooting up and I don`t know, I just kind of took to it --
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: And I didn`t want any plants in the audience or anything because that would be too phony.
BEHAR: Yes that would ruin it.
BURNETT: No. So then it became one of my favorite things in the show.
BEHAR: Everybody loved it.
BURNETT: I loved doing it.
BEHAR: You know, you`re a natural. You were so naturally funny that no matter what you would say would have worked, I think.
BURNETT: The audience, too, some of those -- those were doozies.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s right.
BURNETT: Some of them were really good.
BEHAR: Let me talk about some of your co-stars who are wonderful. You won 25 -- the show won 25 Emmys.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: It was really a tremendous hit. Which I think was the precursor to "Saturday Night Live" in many ways.
BURNETT: Well, it was on when we were on.
BEHAR: It was?
BURNETT: Yes "Saturday Night Live," yes.
BEHAR: Oh.
BURNETT: It`s been on forever.
BEHAR: That went on in 1975.
BURNETT: It was on forever. Yes.
BEHAR: And you`ve made -- you have wonderful stars, there were wonderfully funny people. I mean the late wonderfully funny Harvey Korman -- he just died last year. I miss him. I didn`t know him but I miss him.
BURNETT: I miss him, too.
BEHAR: And Tim Conway. You used to crack up over Tim all the time. What was it about Tim Conway that made you laugh so hard? All of you?
BURNETT: He`s the funniest man I know. That`s what made me laugh. No but we would tape two shows on Friday.
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: The 5:00 show, we`d call it the dress rehearsal. And we would tape that as a backup. And Tim would always do that show the way we`d rehearsed it. Then he would go to our director before the second show and the second new audience was coming in and he would say, Dave, did you get all the shots? And Dave did. And he`d say, well, for instance, in the hotel sketch when I go over to the window this time instead of being on a head to waist shot be on a head to toe shot. That`s all he would say.
BEHAR: That`s all the director knew?
BURNETT: That`s all the director knew. The crew -- everybody -- we didn`t know what he was going to do. You know, but he had thought up some bit of business that he was going to do on the air show that would crack everybody up. So we were helpless, especially poor Harvey.
BEHAR: Poor Harvey.
BURNETT: Yes. Tim got him -- I think Tim`s goal in life was to destroy Harvey. I really think it was -- and it got to the point where there was going to be -- we called them the Tim and Harvey sketches. And Harvey was just terrified. He was a consummate actor, such a professional. And he hated himself for letting Tim get to him.
It would come to a point where just before they were going to say a word -- OK, cameras on and here we`re going to do the sketch. And Tim would just say, do this to Harvey.
BEHAR: That`s it?
BURNETT: Just look at him. Harvey was gone. It was just the expectation of what Tim was going to do --
BEHAR: Cracked him up.
BURNETT: Sent Harvey around the bend.
BEHAR: The other person that was interesting in those days was Lucille Ball who was on your show a lot.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: When you think of comedic female icons, Lucy and Carol, you know, Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, these are the ladies that really cracked everybody up. And yet people always tell me Lucy was never funny off the air.
BURNETT: She was very serious.
BEHAR: Very serious.
BURNETT: She was funny. She had a great sense of humor but she was never on.
BEHAR: No.
BURNETT: Not at all.
BEHAR: But she had to run the studio, didn`t she, when she broke up with Desi Arnaz?
BURNETT: Yes. I have a story about that.
BEHAR: Tell me.
BURNETT: I guess I can tell it on television.
BEHAR: Why not? We`ll bleep it if it`s -- don`t worry.
BURNETT: Well, she was on our show and so my husband, Joe Hamilton, who had produced "The Garry Moore Show" was producing our show. And I was never confrontational. I -- if -- you know, if Jackie Gleason or Sid Cesar didn`t like a sketch they would go to the writers and they`d say, you know, this stinks, write something else.
BEHAR: Right.
BURNETT: This isn`t working. Give me something funnier.
BEHAR: Well Sid Cesar notoriously almost threw Mel Brooks out the window because he didn`t like the material.
BURNETT: He held him upside down. Maybe that`s what`s wrong with Mel now. I don`t know. I couldn`t do that.
If something wasn`t working I would be, oh gosh, guys, you know, I may not be saying this right what you wrote. And I`m so sorry. Could you maybe help me out here? That`s what I would do.
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: Now, whereas -- Joe would say, this stinks, make it better.
I was having dinner with Lucy at the farmer`s market. We were between rehearsals. We were waiting to do the band rehearsal on Thursday night. We were having some Chinese food and everything, and she said -- she called me kid. She said, you know, kid, you`re really lucky to have Joe be the bad cop, you know, because you can come in and be just -- I said, well, I couldn`t -- I couldn`t confront anybody anyway, Lucy.
She said, well, I was that way. She said, you know when I was married to the Cuban he was -- he did everything. He made it right. He did -- the scripts were terrific. He knew what he wanted and the lighting and all of these --
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: And all I had to do was come in and be Lucy on Monday mornings and read the show and go do it and we`d be fine. Then they got a divorce. And then she got another show, I think it was, like, "The Lucy Show" --
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: She had a couple others - you know with Gale Gordon --
BEHAR: Yes and Vivian Vance. Right.
BURNETT: And Vivian. And so she came in that Monday morning and she read the script. And it was terrible. And she thought, oh my God, what am I going to do? I just -- you know, Desi`s not here to -- she said, OK, everybody, let`s break for lunch.
You know, and so she went into her office and she thought about it. She said, I`ve got to be strong. I`ve got to be strong. And she said, I went back out and I told everybody just exactly what I thought and, kid, that`s when they put the "S" on the end of my last name.
BEHAR: Lucille Ball, plural, is a great name.
BURNETT: Isn`t that great?
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: Oh she cracked me up.
BEHAR: But it was hard. It`s hard for women to really be assertive like that.
BURNETT: It was then. I don`t know if it`s that hard now. But back then --
BEHAR: Well what do you guys think?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You`re fine.
BEHAR: All right. And but, you know, who makes you laugh anyway? Who makes you laugh?
BURNETT: Well, Conway still.
BEHAR: He still makes you laugh?
BURNETT: You go out to dinner with him you have to know the Heimlich maneuver.
BEHAR: Really?
BURNETT: Yes, because you`ll just choke.
BEHAR: He starts up wherever he is?
BURNETT: He just has a funny take on everything. You know, and well, who makes me -- you make me laugh.
BEHAR: Oh, that`s sweet.
BURNETT: You do.
BEHAR: You don`t have to say that.
BURNETT: OK. I`ll take it back.
BEHAR: All right. I`m going to stop you there because we have to take a break.
BURNETT: OK.
BEHAR: But just get comfortable and we`ll be back with the wonderful Carol Burnett in just a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BURNETT: What brings you to --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You, you vixen, you. Scarlett, I love you. That gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Oh that dress is legendary. And that was one of the funniest moments on "The Carol Burnett Show".
And I`m happy to have the one and only Carol Burnett here with me now. She`s also the author of the new book "This Time Together".
So you were raised by your grandma.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: Who I read that she was married six times.
BURNETT: Well, yes. I didn`t know it at first. She told me only three. And then --
BEHAR: She was a hot number, your grandmother.
BURNETT: Yes, she was. She really was. In fact, when she died, she was 81, she had a 40-year-old boyfriend who was a jazz musician from Redondo Beach.
BEHAR: Really? Wow.
BURNETT: I remember I came out to see her in Hollywood. I had put her in an apartment and everything, so I went in to show her some photographs or something. We were visiting and I was showing her some pictures and I`d been living in New York. And she had this kind of green Japanese lantern over her couch. I said, nanny, let me just take this Japanese lantern off here so you can see better. She said, don`t you touch that, that`s my love light.
BEHAR: Oh, well, excuse me. And the -- you used to tug on your ear.
BURNETT: That was for her.
BEHAR: So sweet, every week. That was a thing about you that everybody knows about.
BURNETT: Well, thanks.
BEHAR: Such a great thing. And the other thing is, you know, I know that you -- in your book you talk about how your parents struggled with alcoholism and everything. I`m more interested in the fact you sued "The National Enquirer" and won the lawsuit. I don`t know if you`ve ever told anybody that story on television. I`d love to hear that.
BURNETT: Well what happened was I was back there. I was going to perform at the White House and I was with the -- our conductor. We were going to do something -- it was when the Fords were in.
And so we all went to a restaurant one night, my conductor and the writers and so forth. And we were in this Washington, D.C. restaurant and kind of -- it was kind of empty. Then across the way was Dr. Kissinger with a couple of people whom I knew and all, but -- and as we finished dinner and we were leaving, I was introduced to him. He said, it`s very nice to meet you and I`ll be looking forward to you at the White House tomorrow and all that. So that was it.
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: Next thing I know, in a couple weeks or whatever, said Carol Burnett was running around in such and such restaurant in D.C. spilling wine on people and forcing Henry Kissinger to drink wine and spilling wine all over his tie. I mean, it was just bizarre.
BEHAR: And the idea that anybody could force Kissinger to do anything.
BURNETT: You know, I tried.
BEHAR: A lot of people have tried.
BURNETT: And so I thought, that`s not right. You know, especially when I came from that background. I just -- really -- BEHAR: Made you mad.
BURNETT: So I sued them. And I -- it went for five years, you know, the lawsuit.
BEHAR: You were relentless.
BURNETT: I was. I was. I just decided that they`re not going to do that. So it went to a jury trial. Then they did prove -- not malice aforethought, you can`t prove that -- but you can prove reckless disregard for the truth. And they even found a memo that they presented at court that said Carol Burnett and Henry Kissinger were in such and such a restaurant last night. What can we make of this?
BEHAR: Wow, wow.
BURNETT: Yes. So that really nailed it, you know. And so -- before the trial was over, and I was still, you know, worried about it and it was in the newspapers every day and everything, and I went -- before I was going to go to court that day I dropped in on my doctor to get a vitamin shot. You know it was really stressful. And I walked into the doctor`s office and there was Barbara Stanwyck.
BEHAR: Oh.
BURNETT: Wonderful Barbara Stanwyck.
BEHAR: Brilliant.
BURNETT: She was in her 70s. And she has beautiful gray hair. She had on pearls and lovely suit. I didn`t know she was a patient of my doctor, you know. But she smiled at me and I smiled back, you know? Barbara Stanwyck, wow. One of the great movie stars -- I grew up watching her.
And she said, "You`re going to win this case." I said, "Oh thank you, thank you, Ms. Stanwyck; from your lips to God`s ears. Thank you." She said, "No, I mean, I know you`re going to win this case." Well, you don`t argue with Barbara Stanwyck.
BEHAR: No. She`s from Brooklyn.
BURNETT: She said, "Well, I know you are." I said, "Well, great." She said, "My leprechaun told me."
BEHAR: Oh, her leprechaun. OK.
BURNETT: I said, excuse me? And she said, my leprechaun told -- they exist all right. And he said that you`re going to whip their ass.
BEHAR: Her leprechaun. This is like beyond --
BURNETT: Is that unbelievable? And she said, now, you just get some rest and you know you`re going to --
BEHAR: But it`s beyond Shirley MacLaine.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: You know what I mean -- it`s like, a leprechaun. Oh, wow.
BURNETT: Isn`t that wild?
BEHAR: Yes. It`s so cute that you were star struck.
BURNETT: Oh, sure.
BEHAR: We`ll be right back in a minute with more with Carol Burnett. You`re star struck.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: You are.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Carol Burnett. OK, we`re going to have some Facebook and Twitter questions now.
Let`s see -- where does Carol keep her Emmys?
BURNETT: At home.
BEHAR: Just in the house, any specific place?
BURNETT: There`s a couple of shelves I put them on.
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: It`s kind of the media room where we watch television.
BEHAR: Yes, do you dust them?
BURNETT: I go and I hold them and do my thank you speeches quite often.
BEHAR: OK.
Did you ever turn down any parts that you wish you hadn`t?
BURNETT: No.
BEHAR: OK, what is your biggest regret, if you have any?
BURNETT: My biggest regret. I don`t really have one.
BEHAR: No? You and my aunt Rose, she had no regrets either.
BURNETT: I wouldn`t be where I am, or as lucky, even with the bad things that could have happened or did happen or whatever, there was a reason. So --
BEHAR: OK, do you like doing comedy or drama? People don`t know, I don`t think they are really aware what a good dramatic actress you are -- also.
BURNETT: Thank you.
BEHAR: So which do you refer?
BURNETT: Comedy.
BEHAR: Comedy. Why?
BURNETT: Because it makes me feel happy when I hear people laughing.
BEHAR: That`s the best.
BURNETT: That`s it.
BEHAR: And you can`t really control it?
BURNETT: No, it`s wonderful.
BEHAR: You can`t manipulate it the way you can with drama sometimes.
BURNETT: Yes, exactly.
BEHAR: Do you consider your life a success, you just answered that, I think.
OK let`s see are you willing to do "Saturday Night Live"? We would love to see you do that.
BURNETT: Sure. Yes. Sure.
BEHAR: You hear that, Lorne Michaels?
Would you return to TV if the right project became available?
BURNETT: Not weekly.
BEHAR: No that`s a grind.
BURNETT: No I wouldn`t want to do that. Well ours wasn`t a grind. It was so easy that I know --
BEHAR: And fun.
BURNETT: -- that I know you can`t do that again. You know so --
BEHAR: Yes.
BURNETT: I did some guest shots on some sitcoms a few years ago. And there`s 22 minutes of show, right, because of commercials and stuff like that.
BEHAR: That`s right.
BURNETT: They would go for five hours or six hours.
BEHAR: Oh it`s so annoying, yes.
BURNETT: Like we`re making a movie. You know I was like, get me out of here. Our show, we would take sometimes an hour and 15 minutes, with all those costume changes, everything -- we`d be out in two hours.
BEHAR: Wow, wow.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: Because you were on -- didn`t you play -- whose mother did you play in a sitcom recently?
BURNETT: Helen Hunt. "Mad About You".
BEHAR: "Mad About You", that`s right. What do you think about today`s TV programming? They want to know. Do you think your show would have made it on TV now?
BURNETT: I think funny is funny.
BEHAR: Yes, but would they even book a variety show.
BURNETT: Yes. You can`t -- today, you couldn`t do what we did or what Flip Wilson did or the Smother Brothers, Sonny and Cher; we were all on at the same time and because of money.
BEHAR: It`s so expensive?
BURNETT: It`s very expensive, I mean we had a 28-piece live orchestra, we had 12 dancers --
BEHAR: Wow.
BURNETT: We had two major guest stars a week, our rep company and 55 whole costumes by Bob Mackey every week.
BEHAR: Wow.
BURNETT: So that`s prohibitive today. It would -- the prices would be --
BEHAR: Even though they paid the people from "Friends" a million dollar an episode, it still would have been more expensive to have a variety show?
BURNETT: I think so. Well, I don`t know.
BEHAR: See this is why reality shows are popular because they are --
BURNETT: Well they`re $1.98.
BEHAR: $1.98.
BURNETT: Yes.
BEHAR: Carol I can`t tell you what a pleasure it is to have you here and to see you.
BURNETT: Oh darling.
BEHAR: Everyone is so loving you.
BURNETT: Thank you.
BEHAR: Her book is called "This Time Together, Laughter and Reflection".
Ok, when we come back, "The Fonz", Henry Winkler.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HENRY WINKLER, CO AUTHOR "HANK ZIPZER": There`s two of you and one of me, so I want to warm up. So I`m going to be right after I finish warming up, OK?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: To many of us, Henry Winkler will always be known as the Fonz from "HAPPY DAYS," but for a generation of kids today, he`ll be remember as the man who created "Hank Zipzer." His latest and 17th novel in the series is "Hank Zipzer: The World`s Greatest Underachiever, A Brand New Me." So please help me welcome Henry Winkler. Seventeenth.
WINKLER: Seventeenth.
BEHAR: My goodness.
WINKLER: Yes, I`m very proud. I write with this incredible lady, Lynn Oliver. She`s my partner. We have written all 17 together, and I thought that I would never write one, let alone this many.
BEHAR: Is this kid supposed to be you?
WINKLER: He is me.
BEHAR: It is you.
WINKLER: The emotional part of me.
BEHAR: So a more gentile looking you.
WINKLER: Yes that`s right. He`s not circumcised as a matter of fact.
BEHAR: I can see that.
WINKLER: Yes right to the jeans.
(LAUGHTER)
WINKLER: The bulge is different, it`s amazing, yes.
BEHAR: And let me see, these books were in -- someone told me these books were inspired by your dyslexia.
WINKLER: Yes, that`s exactly right.
BEHAR: You still are?
WINKLER: Yes I am, I am you never lose your dyslexia, you learn to negotiate it. You know so one out of five children have some sort of learning challenge which is hereditary.
BEHAR: It`s hereditary.
WINKLER: Yes.
BEHAR: Is it mostly boys?
WINKLER: A lot of boys, but a lot of girls are out there having the same problems. And what happens is that they have to know is no matter how you learn, even if you`re the slowest learner in the class, it has nothing to do with your brilliance.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s right. Seeing you and also Tom Cruise is dyslexic -
WINKLER: Yes.
BEHAR: And a lot of other overachiever types.
WINKLER: Sure Rockefeller was dyslexic.
BEHAR: Oh really, now is this supposed to help children get through bad times and -- ?
WINKLER: You know what I didn`t know that. We wrote it as a funny novel, as a funny series of novels but with a kid who happens to be dyslexic. Who happens to have - so wherever my dyslexia bumps up against the world, we put that in his adventures.
BEHAR: I see.
WINKLER: He starts in the fourth grade and he graduates to middle school. Except that he forgot to have his permission slip signed, he used it to house his used chewing gum.
BEHAR: I see, I got you.
WINKLER: So he didn`t forget the flavors.
BEHAR: Now when you were a kid and had dyslexia, did you get teased and bullied and they thought you were stupid.
WINKLER: Well they did
BEHAR: Yes.
WINKLER: I mean people -- my parents actually called - I talk about this, they called me dumahunt (ph) and for those of you who don`t --
BEHAR: Dumb dog.
WINKLER: Yes, hello, dumb dog. Very supportive.
BEHAR: Lovely parents.
WINKLER: Yes, it`s true.
BEHAR: And what did you say when they call you dumahunt (ph)?
WINKLER: Well I believe it.
BEHAR: You believe it.
WINKLER: Well you know until about last Thursday, I believed it.
BEHAR: Oh so how many years of therapy to realize you`re not a dumbhunt (ph)?
WINKLER: Well what happens is you live enough life and then you look around and then you see what you have accomplished. And you know, your children and then you realize, well, maybe that`s just not true.
BEHAR: You have advanced degrees, college degrees.
WINKLER: I know that was luck.
BEHAR: Why was that luck?
WINKLER: Because I really did poorly. I`m not kidding.
BEHAR: You can`t get a master`s degree -
WINKLER: I charmed my way.
WINKLER: Well the master`s degree at Yale -
BEHAR: Exactly.
WINKLER: I had a great time at Yale, but what happened was I -- it was not a lot of writing. It was not a lot of geometry. I took geometry, same course for four years.
BEHAR: Oh who needs geometry? Do we really need it?
WINKLER: It`s true. Has anyone ever said the word theorem to you?
BEHAR: Yes, very often, in bed.
WINKLER: Oh, that`s a triangle I would like to see.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK.
WINKLER: I`m with you.
BEHAR: You are. Let`s talk politics? Are you politically inclined?
WINKLER: You know what, I`m a little political. I like our president. I am shocked -- I always thought that people were elected in Washington to actually take care of the population.
BEHAR: Right.
WINKLER: That`s not really true. They`re elected to take care of their own personal family.
BEHAR: Is that what you think?
WINKLER: That what I`m thinking.
BEHAR: So you are disappointed -
WINKLER: How could you say no about everything?
BEHAR: Who are you referring to --
WINKLER: Well I`m referring to those people who say no.
BEHAR: Oh the Republican party? The party of no.
WINKLER: The party of RS.
BEHAR: They`re out to get power back.
WINKLER: I understand.
BEHAR: So they get power -
WINKLER: Here`s the other thing, I asked a guy who was a member of the Democratic Party or maybe in the leadership of the Democratic Party here in New York State.
BEHAR: Yes.
WINKLER: And I said why is it the Republicans do it so much better than the Democrats? And he said it`s because we`re selling hope and they selling fear. I said, then screw hope. We have to do something.
BEHAR: You have to scare people into voting for you.
WINKLER: Well something. And also, that`s what I`m thinking.
BEHAR: Who said that, you don`t remember who it was?
WINKLER: The man, his name was David.
BEHAR: Oh yes, I know him.
WINKLER: I`m not good with last names because I`m dyslexic.
BEHAR: Now, has the Fonz thing haunted you or not?
WINKLER: No it doesn`t haunt me. It`s with me.
BEHAR: It`s with you forever.
WINKLER: You know and the great thing about the Fonz is that he reads also --
BEHAR: That`s good. OK. Now, let`s talk Botox.
WINKLER: OK.
BEHAR: What`s the story. You`ve had it?
WINKLER: No, I was asked to be ambassador for a new campaign called Open Arms, and they found -- and it`s been okayed for seven weeks -- they found a therapeutic use for Botox. My mother had a stroke. You know, sometimes the upper limb becomes tethered to the body.
BEHAR: It does?
WINKLER: Yes, it does.
BEHAR: When?
WINKLER: Because the muscles completely tighten up.
BEHAR: When you have a stroke?
WINKLER: Absolutely.
BEHAR: OK.
WINKLER: They found if they inject the fingers and the wrist and the elbow and the upper arm they can release the muscles and give hope to all of these stroke victims who could not even wash their own palm.
BEHAR: I see.
WINKLER: It`s like their arm becomes a foreign country. And all of a sudden it --
BEHAR: They inject Botox into the arm?
WINKLER: It`s a therapeutic use for Botox.
BEHAR: It also stops sweating in the armpits.
WINKLER: It does.
BEHAR: It`s indicated for migraines and also for lines on your forehead. While you`re fixing the stroke you can make yourself gorgeous at the same time.
WINKLER: Absolutely. So you get your arm back and a face.
BEHAR: It`s stunning.
WINKLER: I love it.
BEHAR: OK.
WINKLER: No but I`m overwhelmed. I met these patients. They -- that had flown in from all over the country. One man had his arm just tethered against his body for 57 years.
BEHAR: Yes, oh my god.
WINKLER: And finally had it drop away and it just was so touching. I don`t know what to do. So you go to your health caregiver and --
BEHAR: Yes, a dermatologist probably could do it. OK. Now, "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT,"
WINKLER: "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT"
BEHAR: Are they making a movie out of that?
WINKLER: I talked to Mitchel Witch (ph), the genius behind the show. You know it`s pilot season now.
BEHAR: Yes.
WINKLER: He`s off making pilots and not as much money as Sarah Palin, but he`s making a living. And when that is over he`s going to come back and hopefully write the movie. And he said I was in it.
BEHAR: Really?
WINKLER: Yes.
BEHAR: Good.
WINKLER: I`m very excited.
BEHAR: You have a very good career all these years.
WINKLER: I`m blessed.
BEHAR: Wonderful career. You`re in this "ROYAL PAINS" show now.
WINKLER: "ROYAL PAINS." I watched it with my wife last year and now I`m in it.
BEHAR: Did you watch "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" with Betty White? Eighty eight and half years old, she was right on the money.
WINKLER: She was brilliant.
BEHAR: Yes.
WINKLER: How about the largest audience they`ve had in years?
BEHAR: I know.
WINKLER: On that show. And my very first job in Hollywood I had four lines on the "MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW." it was a dinner party that she was throwing for Mary.
BEHAR: She was a hilarious. She used to kick the oven door up with her leg.
WINKLER: Unbelievable.
BEHAR: She was great, very funny.
WINKLER: And today still.
BEHAR: There are certain TV icons, you`re one of them.
WINKLER: Thank you.
BEHAR: And Betty White is another.
WINKLER: Thank you. I love to be in her company.
BEHAR: Yes, everybody knows the Fonz.
WINKLER: They do.
BEHAR: Oh yes.
WINKLER: Hey. Yes. They do.
BEHAR: Thank you for doing that. And thank you for doing this.
WINKLER: You know what, Joy, I`m telling you I`m so happy to be here with you.
BEHAR: Thank you, Henry. I can call you Henry, right?
WINKLER: Yes, you can. Can I move my hair closer?
BEHAR: I love Jewish men, you know.
WINKLER: You do?
BEHAR: Oh yes. The book is called "Hank Zipzer: The World`s Greatest Underachiever, A Brand New Me."
WINKLER: Jewish.
BEHAR: When we come back, the lovely Valerie Bertinelli
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: When she`s not writing books and doing commercials for Jenny Craig, Valerie Bertinelli stars in the new sitcom "HOT IN CLEVELAND." you know, I don`t want to brag, but I`m hot in BOCA. Down there I`m jail bait. Anyway let`s take a look at Valerie in action.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everyone, brace for impact.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I love you guys.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I love you, too.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If I survive this, I`m going to stop being so vain.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And scared of everything.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And I`m never going to complain about anything ever, ever again.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`ve safely landed in Cleveland.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Cleveland?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
VALERIE BERTINELLI, ACTRESS, "HOT IN CLEVELAND": I swear it`s a love letter to Cleveland. No. I love Cleveland.
BEHAR: So you were on your way to Paris and you crash landed in Cleveland?
BERTINELLI: Right. And we decide to stay because you go to a bar to, you know, calm our nerves and all the guys look at us as opposed to past us. So we realize we`re hot in Cleveland.
BEHAR: You`re hot in Cleveland.
BERTINELLI: Hence the title.
BEHAR: It`s a very good premise. Because it is true in L.A. and New York men don`t look at you, maybe because most of them are gay. That could be it.
BERTINELLI: Could be.
BEHAR: But besides that --
BERTINELLI: They look at you if your younger. I`m past the age of being ogled, right? Is that the word?
BEHAR: Yes. Ogled. But 35 is the cutoff.
BERTINELLI: Really? That old.
BEHAR: After 35, you become an invisible woman.
BERTINELLI: OK well Tom says he`s going to trade me in when I turn 100 for two 50-year-olds.
BEHAR: Tom the fiance.
BERTINELLI: The fiance, yes.
BEHAR: Which we`ll get to in a minute.
BERTINELLI: All right, all right. I`m speeding things through. Come on.
BEHAR: I want to talk about Tom quite effectively later.
BERTINELLI: Uh-oh.
BEHAR: Because you said you were going to be like me, but you`ve changed your tune. But that`s okay.
BERTINELLI: Yes, mother.
BEHAR: Exactly. I know what you did. Could you ever see yourself doing something like that, like moving to Cleveland?
BERTINELLI: Absolutely.
BEHAR: You could?
BERTINELLI: I absolutely could. I would rather move to Tuscany. But I can see myself moving to Cleveland also.
BEHAR: You could?
BERTINELLI: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Where did you grow up?
BERTINELLI: Delaware. In a first state in the union.
BEHAR: In a small town?
BERTINELLI: Yes. Claymont. Well, Delaware. There`s -- it`s small!
BEHAR: But I mean I know it`s a state. It`s a small little neighborhood in Delaware?
BERTINELLI: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: So it wasn`t like city dwelling.
BERTINELLI: Because Wilmington is such a burgeoning metropolis. Oh, I love Wilmington, Delaware. You know I do. Oh. Once again, you`re going to get me in trouble. I`m not speaking any longer. Go ahead.
BEHAR: I always think that the way you grow up is the way you can stay married. Like geographical differences can be problematic. You know like I grew up in a tenement sort of building. It was fire escapes. Like that. And now I live in a building just like that except with a doorman.
BERTINELLI: And your spousal equivalent is the doorman?
BEHAR: My spousal equivalent grew up in the Bronx. So he`s OK with it, too. Now ,y ex-husband who I`m not married to any more --
BERTINELLI: Hence ex.
BEHAR: -- he grew up in Long Beach like at the beach. And he married to someone else and they live at the beach.
BERTINELLI: OK, and they live at the beach, so they were compatible. Right.
BEHAR: They are compatible geographically.
BERTINELLI: So Ed spoke Dutch, was raised in Holland. And Ed, my ex-husband.
BEHAR: Your first, yes.
BERTINELLI: And I was raised in Delaware and moved across the country because I was a GM brat with my father. Tom was raised in Cuyahoga Falls, right, babe?
BEHAR: Don`t you know at this point?
BERTINELLI: Well, born and raised. I mean he also lived in Stow and he lived in Chicago.
BEHAR: Stow, Vermont?
BERTINELLI: No. Stow, Ohio.
BEHAR: Stow, Ohio. Uh huh, never heard of that. Whatever.
BERTINELLI: But I think I have more -- does it matter?
BEHAR: It doesn`t matter. Let`s talk about the cast of "HOT IN CLEVELAND." Who`s the biggest bitch?
BERTINELLI: Betty.
BEHAR: Betty`s the biggest bitch. OK. Good.
BERTINELLI: Without a -- no. You know what? We`ve been around so long, there`s new divahood on this set. Because we know, we`ve been through it and not worth it. Too much energy.
BEHAR: I agree with that. You cannot really sustain that anyway because someone will die. You know what I mean? Someone will die.
BERTINELLI: I`m sorry I was just thinking about you this morning on THE VIEW.
BEHAR: You thought I was in a crabby mood this morning.
BERTINELLI: You were a cranky mccranker.
BEHAR: No, I wasn`t. Was it really?
BERTINELLI: Just a little bit.
BEHAR: It`s my personality. I can`t help myself.
BERTINELLI: No, you`re not. That`s the opposite of you.
BEHAR: I`m not miss sunshine, darling. Get over it. What about Betty White doing this whole career at 88? Isn`t it fabulous?
BERTINELLI: But she`s been around a while. She`s had a very - she`s got six Emmys. She`s had a very successful career.
BEHAR: I know that.
BERTINELLI: But this is like it`s crazy now. White hot Betty. So yes, it`s great.
BEHAR: But I mean they threw you off TV. That`s my point.
BERTINELLI: Yes, they do. So it gives us hope. At 88 1/2 we can still be on television.
BEHAR: Exactly.
BERTINELLI: Or do we want to be?
BEHAR: And you know what, the interesting thing is you always talk about your age so we know you`re over 50 at this point. You turned 50 when?
BERTINELLI: I turn 50 at April 23rd.
BEHAR: OK and you were on the cover of "AARP." can we see that cover? Do we have it? Because you look so cute. Look at you. You look 20.
BERTINELLI: Oh, please. No, I don`t.
BEHAR: Yes, you look very good.
BERTINELLI: They air brushed it then.
BEHAR: And you know Bruce Springsteen was on the cover last year. "AARP."
BERTINELLI: OK.
BEHAR: It`s become like the hot magazine all of a sudden. It was an embarrassment to be even joining it.
BERTINELLI: We need to start celebrating our age. We are the boomers. And I think we`re smarter than the Xers. And we just need to start owning it.
BEHAR: Yes, one more question about that, did they give you a free subscription to "AARP" magazine?
BERTINELLI: I think you automatically get one don`t you?
BEHAR: I don`t think so.
BERTINELLI: When you turn 50.
BEHAR: Really?
BERTINELLI: You don`t have yours yet?
BEHAR: I`ll see when I`m 50, I`ll let you know. You recently got engaged, which surprised me because you and Tom --
BERTINELLI: Yes.
BEHAR: -- were on the show in October and I asked you if you were going to get married. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: So you`ve been dating for five years. Are their wedding plans?
BERTINELLI: And living in sin.
BEHAR: I know me too for 27 years.
BERTINELLI: I know. People -- what did you call him the other day?
BEHAR: A spousal equivalent.
BERTINELLI: I love that. You are my spousal equivalent honey because I don`t want to do the seating chart.
BEHAR: You are not going to get married?
BERTINELLI: I don`t want to do the seating chart, everyone gets mad at you.
BEHAR: OK.
BERTINELLI: Because no one wants to about at table 17.
BEHAR: That`s true.
BERTINELLI: I don`t know why.
BEHAR: How about you, you want to get married?
TOM VITALE, BERTINELLI`S FIANCE: I don`t know. You know she hasn`t asked me yet.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: So now you`re getting married?
BERTINELLI: Well what am I supposed to say? He asked me. No? I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And if he wants to get married, it`s kind of romantic and fun, too. I don`t know how to answer this question any more. I don`t --
BEHAR: Say it`s none of your business. Try that.
BERTINELLI: OK, so it`s none of your freaking business.
BEHAR: Where was the proposal?
BERTINELLI: In Tuscany.
BEHAR: In bed you said.
BERTINELLI: In Florence, in bed. We were in a hotel room. There was a bed there and it was in Florence.
BEHAR: And what did he say to you? You don`t have to say it.
BERTINELLI: Thank you.
BEHAR: All right Valerie but you know what, don`t go anywhere because in the next segment I`m going to bring him out here. And I want to ask him, why he`s getting married -
BERTINELLI: Good luck getting it out of him.
BEHAR: I want to find out from him.
BERTINELLI: OK.
BEHAR: OK, we`ll be back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have a date, my first date in 25 years. He wants me to meet him at the Whiskey Island Marina. Do you know where that is?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It`s where whores go. You`re too old to act like this.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: She`s not old. Forty is the new 30.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And 50 is the new 40.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What`s 80?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It`s still 80.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Well, that was a look at the new sitcom "HOT IN CLEVELAND." that`s what I meant to say. Starring Valerie Bertinelli who is back with me now. And also joining us is Valerie`s fiance, Tom Vitale. Welcome, Tom.
VITALE: Welcome.
BEHAR: So what made you decide to pop the question, Tom? Because you were going together a long time.
VITALE: She`s pregnant.
BEHAR: I was going to ask that. Was it a shotgun?
VITALE: Yes.
BERTINELLI: Yes, right. I don`t know how. My eggs are too old and he`s had a vasectomy. So you know, figure that one out.
BEHAR: What came over you?
VITALE: It was the right time. It was Italy. The romance of Italy.
BERTINELLI: It was kind of the sunset over the Arno river.
VITALE: The Ponte Vecchio was right there.
BERTINELLI: The Ponte Vecchio was right there and the background was really gorgeous. And we`d never been to Italy. That was on my bucket list. And I was able to cross that one off.
BEHAR: It was on your bucket list, you mean like before you die?
BERTINELLI: yes.
BEHAR: I hate that term. You`re too young todie (ph). Don`t even say that. That`s for old, old people.
BERTINELLI: But I`m on the cover of "AARP."
BEHAR: I know. But still. Did she say yes right away or did she say, let me think about it?
VITALE: She kind of busted on me for a while. Yes.
BEHAR: Did you?
VITALE: Yes, yes.
BERTINELLI: What are you crazy? Why are you asking me this for?
BEHAR: Were you scared or what?
VITALE: I was.
BERTINELLI: He was really nervous.
BEHAR: About asking. What? Did you think she might reject you?
VITALE: No. Just scared. My palms were sweaty.
BEHAR: Yes.
BERTINELLI: Honey, I`m sorry.
BEHAR: As long as they weren`t hairy.
VITALE: You`re bad.
BEHAR: Let`s hear about the wedding. When is the wedding?
BERTINELLI: He`s planning it. I don`t want anything to do with it.
VITALE: Secret date, secret place.
BERTINELLI: The date, the time and where we`re doing it? Sure, we`ll announce it on the JOY BEHAR SHOW.
BEHAR: Well I think you should go back to Italy and get married.
VITALE: We might.
BERTINELLI: That would be nice. Destination wedding, not as many people will show up.
BEHAR: You don`t want them to show up.
BERTINELLI: Oh, god.
VITALE: We are going to have it on a Monday morning.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now you were both married before.
VITALE: Yes.
BEHAR: When you were younger. And I would presume you think this one will be different, being married will be different.
BERTINELLI: Well you know what? The top 25 things you know that married people really should know, I think that list that we did on THE VIEW, this one was really smart. I think had I known that, I probably would have -- and you too. Maybe our first marriages would have worked. I`m glad they didn`t.
BEHAR: Well which ones stood out for you, do you remember?
BERTINELLI: Besides -- no.
BEHAR: Which on the list? Was there anything that stood out for you that was relevant to you?
BERTINELLI: So many things that don`t expect everything in one person. And don`t roll your eyes. Because it says a lot more than yelling.
BEHAR: Rolling your eyes?
BERTINELLI: By the time you get to rolling your eyes you`re so done with that. That`s a really good one. To have sex.
BEHAR: Have sex, yes.
BERTINELLI: Be consistent.
BEHAR: They don`t say with whom.
VITALE: We talk it out, though. We don`t fight it out. I used to fight it out. Now we just talk it out.
BEHAR: Really you don`t feel the need to argue any more.
VITALE: We don`t fight.
BERTINELLI: No not that we don`t have disagreements and some things we have stronger disagreements about. But we really get to a point where we talk to one another and say, listen, I`m feeling this many degrees off. Do we want to fix this and we want it to be done and do this with somebody else all over again?
BEHAR: That`s right. OK, you know what I wish you all the best, really.
BERTINELLI: Really.
BEHAR: Hope springs eternal. And be sure to watch the series premiere of "HOT IN CLEVELAND" tonight at 10:00 on TV land.
END
