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Joy Behar Page
Weekend Round-Up; Hoda`s Journey
Aired October 15, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW Carl Paladino hits the reset button, Courtney Cox and David Arquette press pause, and Bristol Palin turns up the heat. Joy has the dirt on it all.
Then "Today" co-host Hoda Kotb opens up about beating breast cancer in the middle of a messy divorce.
Plus TV legend Marlo Thomas chats with Joy about the secrets of comedy.
That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: It`s been a busy week from our favorite Tea Partier Carl Paladino. On Sunday the Republican candidate for New York governor gave a speech which included inflammatory remarks about gays. On Tuesday he apologized for those remarks. Yesterday the rabbi who invited him to make those remarks in the first place withdrew his support.
You know, I give Paladino credit. It`s pretty easy to put your foot in your mouth but to get the other one in, that takes skill.
Here now to discuss this and other news from the week are AOL`s Popeater columnist, Rob Shuter; La La Vazquez, the star of La La`s Full Court Wedding; and Clinton Kelly, author of "Oh, No She Didn`t", co-host of "What Not To Wear".
Let`s take a look and listen to some of what Paladino said.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CARL PALADINO (R), NY GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE: We must stop pandering to the pornographers and the perverts who seek to target our children and destroy their lives. I didn`t march in a gay parade this year -- the Gay Pride Parade this year. My opponent did. And that`s not the example we should be showing our children.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. He then released a statement apologizing for this. This is part of the statement. "If elected as your governor I will stand and fight for all gay New Yorkers` rights. I ask you for forgiveness on my poorly chosen words." Are you buying that, Rob?
ROB SHUTER, AOL POPEATER COLUMNIST: No. He wants both sides of the story here. He wants both sides of the argument. I think he wants to appeal to everybody and in doing so has appealed to nobody. To manage to alienate the gays and the Orthodox Jewish community here is a really hard thing to do. He has managed to do it. We should be very --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Well, what did you all think when you first heard this whole thing where he says we must stop pandering to pornographers and perverts who seek to target our children and destroy their lives? And then he says I didn`t march in the gay parade. The connection was a little close for my taste. What do you say?
CLINTON KELLY, AUTHOR, "OH NO, SHE DIDN`T": He is basically implying all gay people are perverted and into pornography because he was insulted or offended by the New York Gay Pride Parade where there are some scantily clad men, you know, bumping and grinding from time to time. That is part of the fun at the Gay Pride Parade.
BEHAR: I mean it`s just a fun thing. Nobody is having sex on this. Turn on your television if you want to watch sex. You don`t have to go to the Gay Pride Parade to see something like that.
LA LA VAZQUEZ, "LA LA`S FULL COURT WEDDING": No you don`t. I actually when I first heard it I thought I was watching a spoof of SNL or something. Oh, he`s doing a great job. His acting is incredible. I mean I had no idea it was real.
BEHAR: Oh, he`s real.
VAZQUEZ: I had to check again and go, wow, this guy is for real. It`s the classic saying, if you don`t have anything nice to say maybe it`s best not to say anything.
BEHAR: He was pandering to get the Orthodox Jewish vote. They agree with that.
SHUTER: It would have worked. What is so confusing to me about is had he stuck to his original statement as repulsive as many people find it there are people in this world that would agree with him and he would have gotten that vote. Now he`s lost them.
BEHAR: I know.
SHUTER: There`s no winner here.
BEHAR: So he`s not just mean. He`s dumb.
SHUTER: He`s stupid.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You know what? That is the other thing. He said that he didn`t see it beforehand, wouldn`t have approved of it. Would you give a speech you didn`t read?
SHUTER: Absolutely not.
BEHAR: I don`t even order Chinese food without reading the menu.
KELLY: What about if you`re reading it? And you say, "Wait a minute" --
VAZQUEZ: By the way, when he gave the speech he had a lot of passion. You can tell he had feelings behind it. He wasn`t just reading words off the paper.
BEHAR: That`s right. He`s a panderer. That`s number one about the guy, he`s a panderer.
SHUTER: That was probably more concerning to certain people that would vote for him than being a homophobe.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: I think you have a good point there. Do you think that he has a better or worse chance now?
SHUTER: He would have had a better chance if he hadn`t apologized.
BEHAR: But he didn`t have that much of a chance.
SHUTER: He didn`t have a chance. Let`s hope he does haven`t a chance.
VAZQUEZ: In my opinion there is no chance right now, none.
KELLY: No chance.
BEHAR: Ok.
Moving on to another -- another guy that put his foot in his mouth this week; maybe actor David Arquette should have visited a shrink instead of the "Howard Stern" show where he was a little too open about his split with Courtney Cox. Listen.
(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)
DAVID ARQUETTE, ACTOR: We go to do "Scream 4" and I`m feeling distance obviously from my wife. We have not had sex in quite a -- at that time a month or so and since then it`s been like four months or so.
(END AUDIO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. Why do celebrities feel the need to share these pieces of information with everybody?
SHUTER: I think that he was genuinely hurt about what`s going on. What sources are telling me is he still loves his wife. However, what she --
BEHAR: Didn`t he have a girlfriend?
SHUTER: He said after they broke up he did sleep with somebody. He claims they broke up but for the 11 years of their marriage he was very faithful. I think he was really hurt and unfortunately he picked up a telephone and phoned into a radio station and before he knew what he was doing -- Howard is a genius and had him on for 45 minutes, just milked this. That phone call wasn`t going to end.
BEHAR: Right.
VAZQUEZ: Exactly.
KELLY: You know, the whole issue was that Courtney Cox said she didn`t want to be his mother anymore. He is 39 years old it`s time to grow up. And part of that is showing that you know what to say during a radio interview. How immature.
SHUTER: He confirmed she was right.
VAZQUEZ: Was Carmelo ever your son? Carmelo Anthony?
(CROSSTALK)
VAZQUEZ: I get that all the time. That`s a good thing. Not all the time. But you know what I think? Also when you call in to Howard Stern I think he makes you feel so comfortable. He is your buddy old pal and you actually think you`re just talking to him and then you realize, wait. Everyone is hearing this.
You`re like talking like sharing something with him and then you`re like, oh, everyone heard this. I think that`s the power of Howard Stern.
BEHAR: That`s his job.
SHUTER: This didn`t go over well. My sources are telling me any chance of them getting back together is done.
BEHAR: Can I read what he tweeted yesterday? He apologized for saying too much.
SHUTER: Oh, he apologized. Publicly again.
BEHAR: He said "I went on the Howard Stern show yesterday to provide clarity and honesty about what I`m experiencing but while doing that I shared too much. It is all right for me to be honest about my own feelings but in retrospect some of the information I provided involved others and for that I am sorry and humbled."
It`s like -- didn`t Paladino just say the same thing? I mean, isn`t that code for Courtney called him and, boy, is she mad?
SHUTER: Absolutely.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: They were going to go through a trial separation. I have been married. Ok? A trial separation means I want you out of my house. That`s what it means in a way. It`s like, I need my space and let`s see how I do now without you. I don`t think it works. What do you think? Have you been married?
SHUTER: I have not been married, Joy.
BEHAR: Because it`s not allowed.
SHUTER: Right. I`ve not been married but I do think trial separations might be an opportunity to figure things out. I hope they get back together. It breaks my heart for this couple.
BEHAR: La La could you go back with him after he spilled the beans on Howard Stern?
VAZQUEZ: I could go back. I honestly that think his apology differed from Paladino. I think his was sincere and he realized that he did make a mistake. I don`t think that was a scripted kind of publicity move. I think David Arquette really felt bad for what he said.
BEHAR: What about you?
KELLY: I`ve never known anybody to get separated and then get back together again.
BEHAR: No.
KELLY: I`ve not heard of it working once.
BEHAR: It does seem -- it`s hard. Did you ever do any of that?
KELLY: I am married and have been for the past year because it is legal in Connecticut.
VAZQUEZ: Hey, yes.
BEHAR: Ok. Next topic. The whole world was watching when the Chilean miners were rescued. Miner number 21 was greeted in front of the mine by his mistress and not his wife. I`m guessing his wife is waiting to greet him in front of her lawyer`s office. Ok. Do you think he got the surprise of his life this guy when he emerged and she was there?
SHUTER: Oh, yes.
KELLY: That must have been the longest trip up. Don`t pull me up that fast. I`ll take the slow one.
VAZQUEZ: I mean, yes. That is the surprise of a life. But I heard he seemed unfazed by it, so I don`t know. I think he needs to be slapped across the face and then we are going to my lawyer`s office.
BEHAR: Really.
SHUTER: They were separated.
BEHAR: I think they were separated and she, the wife has not responded nicely.
VAZQUEZ: No, she hasn`t.
SHUTER: The mistress is getting all the press.
BEHAR: The mistress is getting all the press.
VAZQUEZ: Right.
BEHAR: All the attention. Wait a second. He embraced her when he came out. It`s almost like I think he knew she was going to be there because they were sending a lot of messages.
SHUTER: They told him -- they were sending messages down.
BEHAR: I think so.
SHUTER: Because I would want to know who was going to be there.
VAZQUEZ: I heard he did know and he requested that she was there to wait for him when he came up. I did hear that. But separated or not we don`t know the back story. How long was this relationship going on?
BEHAR: The president of Chile is saying that they`re going to get some benefits and I think that because of this and I think the mistresses want a little taste.
SHUTER: (INAUDIBLE) because whenever they get in these sticky situations they always take their mother. When you see somebody on the red carpet with their mother, that`s what he should have done. He should have had his mother waiting.
BEHAR: You know, it`s funny because the mistresses -- in this country the mistress would get nothing. Ok?
Right. That`s Italian for, go figure -- I have the word for it but I`d rather not say it. Maybe Carmelo Anthony -- is he Italian? No. Sounds Italian.
VAZQUEZ: Far from it.
BEHAR: Ok. Thank you, guys, very much.
And you can catch "La La`s Full Court Wedding" Sundays at 10:00 p.m. on VH 1. We`ll be back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: The woman has reported from some of the most dangerous war zones in the world. And in her current job as the co-host of "Today" she is constant peril. Check this out.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KATHIE LEE GIFFORD, CO-HOST, "TODAY": For the last hour we`ve been getting up the courage to tell you what we weigh. So who`s going first tell the woman?
HODA KOTB, CO-HOST, "TODAY": I`ll do it.
GIFFORD: Let`s do it together.
KOTB: Ok, we`re writing in the set. Remember. We had two digits. Remember we`re going to write in the middle. Ok, its` ok, it`s too bad. It`s life. One, two, three. Do it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You are brave. I`d rather go through menopause again than reveal my weight. Here now is the co-host of the fourth hour of "today" and author of "Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee". Welcome Hoda Kotb.
HODA: Hello. How are you Joy?
BEHAR: Hello my dear.
KOTB: Good.
BEHAR: So we were talking about Florence Henderson before.
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: So she was quite hot on "Dancing with the Stars."
KOTB: Oh my God. I saw the video this morning --
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: -- and was shocked.
BEHAR: Do you know how old she is?
KOTB: Tell.
BEHAR: She says she is 76.
KOTB: There was a lot of grinding, did you see it?
BEHAR: She was very, very -- she was much hotter than Bristol Palin.
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: Bristol did not -- she looked uncomfortable.
KOTB: But you know what? I think I`d be like Bristol because I think when you`re not comfortable with all of that --
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: -- putting it all out there, I think a lot of America would be like that to just sort of closed-up but Florence let it rip. She didn`t care. It was all out.
BEHAR: I loved that about her.
KOTB: I did, too. She`s free.
BEHAR: She`s hot. She`s a hot mama.
KOTB: She is hot.
BEHAR: Now, do you think by the way, do you think we`ll see Bristol Palin hosting the fifth hour or the sixth hour or the seventh? How many hours over there?
KOTB: No, wait a second, we just have four. Ok? We`re strictly Kathie Lee, me, and an occasional housewife of wherever. Ok? That`s it. We have our standards.
BEHAR: I think I`m coming on that show.
KOTB: You are?
BEHAR: I am, I am.
KOTB: We`ve been waiting. Ok, good.
BEHAR: I`m coming on in a couple weeks.
KOTB: Ok.
BEHAR: Now you reveal on that show, your weight?
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: Which that`s skinny. I`m sorry. You`re a skinny bitch as far as I`m concerned Hoda.
KOTB: Wait.
BEHAR: You`re like six feet tall and 146. Please. That is thin.
KOTB: 146?
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: No.
BEHAR: For your height?
KOTB: I`m 5`9".
BEHAR: All right, 5`9".
KOTB: I`m not that tall. Ok, but I was on the scale that morning praying that it, you know --
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: -- because we promised we would tell the truth and you know the scales that have the little slidy thing --
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: -- which I don`t like because no matter how you jiggle you can`t fake it.
BEHAR: You can`t fake that. Yes.
KOTB: You can`t fake it, no.
So 146 was it. Look, I don`t care about my weight. I really -- I don`t care about age and weight.
BEHAR: What about makeup? You went on the show without makeup too.
KOTB: Yes, that was a bad idea -- that was a bad idea by someone else. And you know what happened? Literally when we sat in the chairs before, it seemed like not such a bad idea and we sat and we saw the monitors --
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: -- and the crews were so screaming like, my eyes, my eyes. And we took a look and we kind of got wise.
BEHAR: They`re so supportive.
KOTB: I know.
BEHAR: Now, you know, they ask me this about "The View" constantly.
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: In fact we we`re talking about it with Whoopi. That you know, they were always saying do you girls get along? Do you get along? So I will be annoying and ask you the same question.
KOTB: Yes. Ok. You know Kathie Lee.
BEHAR: You do, I do know her.
KOTB: Let me tell you something you guys have in common. If you swallowed a truth pill right now --
BEHAR: She and I --
KOTB: -- and said everything you thought, -- yes, you too -- you and Kathie Lee have this in common, if you swallow the truth pill and told and just said everything out loud, that`s how you live. Like I watched your -- you`re earlier segment. You don`t care. You just blurt it out.
She does that. She doesn`t care. She looks at you. There is no filter. It comes barreling out.
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: But I think, it comes -- look, it comes from a good place because I really like her. Like she comes in, in a good mood. She`s not a diva, she`s not late.
BEHAR: No, no. She`s funny too.
KOTB: She`s -- no -- she`s -- she`s really funny, she`s hilarious.
BEHAR: Yes. But it`s not that I don`t care. Is that`s just how I am. I care.
KOTB: But you know, you do care, but -- but you also tell the truth.
BEHAR: I don`t care about some things, some people that I talk about like Paladino. You know? I don`t care about him. I want to get him as a matter of fact. But that`s another story.
Now, in your -- in your book you write about 2-20-07 in your book. Let`s talk a little serious here.
KOTB: Ok.
BEHAR: It was a bad year for you right?
KOTB: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: Now you have -- you said that`s the year my body and my heart broke at the same time.
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: Tell me about it.
KOTB: Yes, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I was getting divorced. That all happened in 2007. And in that kind of situation you feel like you`re drowning. I mean, I really felt like I was on my knees and I thought it`s hard enough to deal with one but with -- with two it seems almost impossible.
But a funny, weird thing happened. When you have two big things that you`re dealing with you -- you almost have to partly grieve.
BEHAR: Cancer and divorce?
KOTB: Yes. Like you -- if you`re worried about why was my husband such a jerk then you think oh, my God I got to go to the doctor and take care of -- of that surgery thing.
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: And then when you`re worried about your health you`re thinking how could he have done that? So in a weird way when you split it, it`s -- it`s a little easier to deal with. It`s almost like having two kids instead of one. Like you can`t worry about the one who is screaming over there --
BEHAR: That`s right.
KOTB: -- because the other one is coloring on the wall with the lip stick. So -- so somehow it was -- I think I was able to cope a little bit better --
BEHAR: And marriage I guess divorce pales in comparison to death.
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: Possible death.
KOTB: Well, it makes you --
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: -- you -- you kind of realize your life has margins and you just sort of start unloading things.
BEHAR: But coming out -- there was some story about you detecting something about his voice mails or something?
KOTB: Yes, text messages.
BEHAR: Tell me about what happened. They are texting -- so this is - - oh let`s that`s two years ago or three years ago.
KOTB: Yes, I mean, I am going to leave kind of the dirty details because I feel like I don`t even want all that to have too much --
BEHAR: But they`re in the book.
KOTB: No just a few. Just a few. Just for you.
BEHAR: They`re in the book.
KOTB: But I do think, look --
BEHAR: But -- just generally you discovered that he was fooling around while you were waiting to get a biopsy. Is that correct?
KOTB: I was finding out about that, yes.
BEHAR: Ok.
KOTB: So I was waiting to find out if I was -- but there was a little window in there where I wasn`t sick and he wasn`t doing anything wrong. And in that tiny -- I remembered as I was looking through those pages of text messages and stuff I was thinking to myself, right now for a second everything is fine. You know how Monday everything is ok and then Tuesday it all comes tumbling down?
BEHAR: Yes. Yes.
KOTB: It was weird how you could kind of pinpoint that happening. But I got to say at the end of something when you -- when you go through the meat grinder on that, at the very end when I was standing there and I was still doing "Dateline" at the time and I had gone through my surgery and I had like this epiphany one day and I got these four words. I got, "you can`t scare me." And I remember, going in to see Jeff Zucker who was the head of NBC and Steve Capas and asking to host an hour of the "TODAY" show that new hour that was coming up. Joy, I would have never done it otherwise.
BEHAR: You developed some kind of like what`s the word?
KOTB: Like confidence I guess.
BEHAR: Confidence, yes.
KOTB: Because I think your whole life you`re thinking don`t they see me? Like, I`m right here.
BEHAR: That is a good story. Again it fortified you. It made you stronger.
KOTB: Yes. It sure did. Yes.
BEHAR: They say if it doesn`t kill you it makes you stronger.
KOTB: Go, girl.
BEHAR: More with Hoda in just a minute. I`ll just leave out the Kotb.
KOTB: It`s too complicated.
BEHAR: You are like Cher and Madonna. You`re Hoda.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And we`ll do a squat position. And we`ll bounce and bounce and bounce. Punch it out. And punch it out. And punch it out. And punch it out.
Don`t stop moving we`re burning fat here. Don`t stop moving.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m back with my guest Hoda. "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" really has fun with you guys. They do it to "THE VIEW" too. Don`t you like it?
KOTB: I love it. Who is you?
BEHAR: Fred Armisen --
KOTB: Oh my god.
BEHAR: So what who cares.
KOTB: Who cares? I know. The person who does me, when you`re there, they work it at SNL, the next year they don`t. This has happened twice. I know. I think it`s going to be Keenan next.
BEHAR: How does she take it? They aren`t that kind to Kathie Lee.
KOTB: She gets a kick.
BEHAR: She does.
KOTB: I`m just wondering like who`s faxing over our exact scripts from the show and sending them to "SNL." They`re unchanged a lot of these things.
BEHAR: That`s Kristin Wig.
KOTB: Funny.
BEHAR: She gets the twitches and the little ticks that she`s got. I love it.
KOTB: I like that too.
BEHAR: Now let me talk a little bit. You`re Egyptian.
KOTB: Yes, I am.
BEHAR: That is the Hoda. It means what in Egyptian?
KOTB: I don`t know.
BEHAR: Yes you do.
KOTB: Something -- honor or like it`s something good. It`s like Helen.
BEHAR: It means beauty.
KOTB: Beauty. It means beauty. It is a very common name over there. It is like Sharon. You know?
BEHAR: But now Egypt, people don`t realize Egyptians are not Caucasian`s, am I right?
KOTB: This is always a very complicated subject.
BEHAR: Yes.
KOTB: I mean here is the thing. It`s kind of a blend. Look at my hair. Well not today.
BEHAR: Today you have the keratin.
KOTB: Today I have the keratins, flat irons and a hammer to make this work.
BEHAR: I used to use agent orange on mine. Are you kidding me? Nothing straightened my hair until Keratin.
KOTB: Do you love it?
BEHAR: I love it. It has formaldehyde but who is counting?
KOTB: Who cares. When it comes to that I`ll take a little. OK?
BEHAR: But the Egyptians like Sadat was Egyptian.
KOTB: Right, yes.
BEHAR: But like Cleopatra was Egyptian and she did not look like Elizabeth Taylor.
KOTB: I think there are a lot of colors in the rainbow --
BEHAR: Really. Let`s talk about it.
KOTB: If you look at Egyptians and people from the Middle East, they look like Queen Rania, in a way. Exactly what she looks like and you see them as dark as Anwar Sadat. I think it is sort of -- there is like a rainbow of people and it`s hard to pinpoint an Egyptian in a crowd.
BEHAR: You can`t.
KOTB: People don`t know. Even other Egyptians look at me and they don`t know.
BEHAR: I think it`s interesting to be Egyptian. I don`t think I know any Egyptians.
KOTB: Well you know what? When the song "Walk Like An Egyptian" came out my relatives were like, there is a song. We don`t understand. How do we walk? I go, you know, the whole like this and that.
BEHAR: Oh the King Tut thing.
KOTB: We don`t walk like this. I don`t get it. I just remember it was such a hit song and they didn`t get it.
BEHAR: Did they take you to the pyramids when you were a kid?
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: It`s like going to Disneyland?
KOTB: Hello. You play in the sand.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Where people are buried? So much fun. Listen, I went to the cemetery when I was a kid. There is a lot of death in a lot of these cultures, you know. Let`s go to the cemetery and pretend we`re going to visit grandma.
KOTB: Who are you?
BEHAR: That`s the truth. So they`re from Egypt.
KOTB: Yes.
BEHAR: What does your father do?
KOTB: My father -- he passed away but he was a petroleum engineer. My mom still works at the Library of Congress. And they came here --
BEHAR: Oh so you were a middle class family in Egypt. Or they were.
KOTB: They were and they came here and they really raised us Joy, red, white, and blue. We did not know any different. We thought we were Mary Smith. Nobody told us. They just wanted, that was the generation that assimilated and they wanted to get involved.
BEHAR: It is so great to talk to you. You are so much fun. I love you.
KOTB: You are so much fun. I love you too. Come see us on the show.
BEHAR: And I love Kathie. Tell her I love her.
KOTB: I will.
BEHAR: Great. The book is called "Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee."
We`ll be back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: America`s favorite teen mom and abstinence advocate Bristol Palin turned on the sexy last night while performing the rumba on "Dancing with the Stars." Let`s take a look at it.
Well, you know, you`ve got to hand it to the Palins. They`re getting richer and more famous by the minute. You know, someone - someone needs to send John McCain a nice Christmas gift. Not me.
With me now to discuss this and more pop culture stories are Carrie Keagan, host of "Rock `N` Roll Fantasy Camp" on VH1 Classic; Tyler Florence, chef and author of "Tyler Florence Family Meal"; and Sarah Bernard, host of "The Thread" on Yahoo!
Appropriate dress for an abstinence advocate, Carrie?
CARRIE KEAGAN, HOST, "ROCK `N` ROLL FANTASY CAMP": You know what? It`s an appropriate outfit for where she was and I think that we should just open our arms and welcome her to the dark side because she is coming over to us.
SARAH BERNARD, HOST, "THE THREAD" ON YAHOO!: So that means you`re on the dark side?
KEAGAN: Yes.
BEHAR: But, you know, she did say at one point that she would have the most modest outfits on the show because of who she was. Somehow that just got thrown out the window.
BERNARD: I don`t think it was the outfit that was that sexy, but I think more than that she, herself, was so uncomfortable with doing the rumba. She said I`m worried about this because I am not sexy and her partner agreed.
And I think more than the outfit what was so painful about this routine was you could see how completely uncomfortable she was. I mean, she is taking off his shirt and in the end she has just this sort of weird, vacant kind of stare. And then they cut to her mom. I mean, awkward. It was so bad.
BEHAR: Sarah was there to - to support her or was she there for the gift bag? I`m really sure.
BERNARD: Right. She was there.
TYLER FLORENCE, CHEF AND AUTHOR OF "TYLER FLORENCE FAMILY MEAL": Exactly, the gift pack. I think she should have popped out of the cake. I think that would have made her feel better, what do you think (ph)?
BERNARD: But I think also -
FLORENCE: Maybe. I don`t know.
BERNARD: -- between - between watching Sarah and her partner and then Levi`s video from last week when he`s making out with this pop star, I just feel like I know these guys way too well. Too much information. Enough.
BEHAR: Well, they`re kind of like a train wreck family with Levi and - and Bristol now. You think it`s going to hurt her chances?
BERNARD: Chances?
BEHAR: If she runs - if she runs for anything?
KEAGAN: Oh, Sarah`s, oh.
BEHAR: (INAUDIBLE).
KEAGAN: No.
BERNARD: No, unfortunately.
FLORENCE: I always wanted to invest in her campaign just to kind of keeping it rolling because I think she is very funny, frankly.
BEHAR: Who? Sarah is hilarious.
FLORENCE: It`s like - yes, the whole - the whole thing. I just think it`s like -
BEHAR: If she wasn`t so nasty -
FLORENCE: It`s (INAUDIBLE) -
BEHAR: -- she`d be funny.
KEAGAN: And the most famous -
FLORENCE: -- you want to invest in your comedy. You know what I mean? It`s like you want to - you want to pay for that.
KEAGAN: And the more famous her family gets, the more she is on TV and she gets to be in front of a whole lot of people on "Dancing with the Stars" every time she`s in the audience.
BEHAR: I like the little Piper. She`s cute, that one.
OK. Moving on. The NFL is investigating whether quarterback Brett Favre sent inappropriate text and photos to a former New York Jets employee when they both worked for the organization in 2008.
OK. Tyler, it was -
FLORENCE: The only guy on the set. Here we go.
BEHAR: I mean, it was a picture of his -
FLORENCE: That was (INAUDIBLE) -
BEHAR: -- shall we say it, his penis. OK?
FLORENCE: Yes. We said it.
KEAGAN: Should we call it?
FLORENCE: She said it. You said it. It`s out there now.
KEAGAN: Glad you said it actually.
BEHAR: We`ll call it Little Brett.
KEAGAN: Little Brett.
FLORENCE: All right. Right. Little Brett.
BEHAR: OK, Little Brett.
FLORENCE: All right.
BEHAR: Now, do you think that women really enjoy seeing pictures of men`s genitalia?
FLORENCE: Got it. I hope so. I hope so. It makes me feel good. I hope you do. I don`t know.
BEHAR: Here`s is a tip, Tyler. Send a picture -
FLORENCE: Yes. The gobbler.
BEHAR: -- send us a picture of your American Express card. That`ll work better.
FLORENCE: Attach it on the side, right?
BEHAR: Exactly.
But, I man, what are - what are men thinking that a woman would respond to that? And she - by the way, the woman he sent it to, she`s fine with it. She`s not, you know, saying, oh, I was sexually harassed or any baloney like that.
FLORENCE: Well, you know, what I`ll say, I think that we`re only seeing one side of the story and I`m - I`m not saying it`s appropriate by any means whatsoever. But when you see a situation like this where there`s obviously a green light conversation happening from both directions that`s what - that`s what you have to just determine like if you`re a married man and out there in the public like that, you just wanted - are you really interested in sabotaging your career?
BEHAR: Right.
FLORENCE: Is it really worth that? Do he really (INAUDIBLE)?
BEHAR: Is he - is he -
FLORENCE: You know?
BEHAR: -- Sarah? Is that what he`s up to?
BERNARD: Is he sabotaging his career? I mean, he pretty much is because she actually was an employee of the Jets so this is kind of a workplace harassment situation. It`s not something he did -
FLORENCE: Was it - was it - was it harassment?
BERNARD: Well, she`s not talking.
FLORENCE: I mean -
BERNARD: But what I find interesting about this is that we supposedly "Dead Spin", which is the sports blog found out about these photos and the voice mails from a third party, right? And she has said nothing.
BEHAR: Oh.
BERNARD: But I find this very interesting. This is kind of reminding me of the whole Mel Gibson situation. Remember, where we didn`t know how these voice mails were leaked.
BEHAR: Right. Right.
BERNARD: They were supposedly her, Oksana`s sister. So I think this must be the new thing, right? You have the person saying they have no complaints, they know nothing. And then somehow from a third party these things get leaked to the press two years later.
BEHAR: Aha. That`s interesting, yes.
KEAGAN: I find it completely suspicious.
BEHAR: Now, he - by the way, Carrie. He apologized to his teammates for all the distractions but he hasn`t denied the photos or the voice mail. So is this an admission of sorts?
KEAGAN: I would think a little bit, yes. I mean, at least it`s an admission that it`s his fault that all of this is happening to his team. And having seen the photos -
BEHAR: Oh, you`ve seen them.
KEAGAN: Yes.
FLORENCE: You`ve seen the photos? You`ve seen the pictures?
KEAGAN: Why would I say that out loud? Yes, I have. Yes, I have.
FLORENCE: (INAUDIBLE). Do I make it (ph) -
KEAGAN: And I don`t recognize him from the photos. I just - I think that, you know what? They should forgive him. I mean, if Marv Albert can be forgiven -
FLORENCE: Who is Marv Albert?
KEAGAN: -- for all the things he did -
BEHAR: Well, there`s a flash -
KEAGAN: Brett is going to be just fine.
FLORENCE: Yes. Right. I just remembered that whole thing. What was his story?
KEAGAN: Oh, he was - he got busted for doing all kinds of biting and -
FLORENCE: (INAUDIBLE) the biter. Yes. He was a biter.
BEHAR: But, you know, this texting and e-mails and voice mails are all over the place now. I mean, I just talked to a woman who`s got pictures of her biting a guy`s nose that looked like a penis at a party five years ago.
KEAGAN: Right.
BEHAR: Now she`s running for Congress. These things get out.
BERNARD: Right. Well, don`t run for office, Tyler.
(CROSSTALK)
FLORENCE: Don`t - don`t bite anybody`s nose.
BEHAR: Politics is getting crazy. A man was arrested for streaking at a rally President Obama was holding in Philadelphia. British billionaire Alki David offered $1 million to the first person to streak in front of Obama so that he could advertise his website.
Now, CBS got - News got footage of the streakers.
Why do people do anything for money?
BERNARD: Anything. Literally.
KEAGAN: A million bucks? Because this economy sucks.
BERNARD: It is a lot. I know. What else are you he going to do?
BEHAR: You`re right.
BERNARD: I have to say, I almost don`t blame the 24-year-old guy for doing that. I just feel like, you know, the billionaire is the one who should be in trouble.
It`s like putting a hit on someone, right? If you ordered the hit, you should be arrested.
BEHAR: That`s right.
KEAGAN: I said (ph), here`s where I disagree with you, because what he told the guy was go out and - and be naked in front of Obama with, you know, whatever -
BERNARD: With his website.
KEAGAN: -- with the website. However, if everyone showed up to a rally naked, there would be no reason to have security whatsoever. Where are they going to hide the weapons?
BEHAR: Good point.
FLORENCE: Hat`s a lot of money, though, if you think about it.
BEHAR: Good point.
FLORENCE: If everybody got a million dollars, that`d be a lot of money.
BEHAR: I mean, in France (ph) they worried about the (INAUDIBLE). They should worry about nudity.
BERNARD: Exactly.
BEHAR: You know, he`s reneging on the money now. He doesn`t want to give the million dollars. He says that the streaker was not within earshot -
FLORENCE: Wasn`t he wasn`t naked enough?
BERNARD: I think they were trying to film it. This was all something (ph) that they were supposed to film it for his website, so that wasn`t possible, so part of the deal.
But what I love about it was originally his offer was a hundred thousand dollars and no one took him up on it. So he - he increased it because he figured there`d be some legal fees involved. So now that it was a million, it was appealing.
KEAGAN: You have to be able to keep some of the money:
BEHAR: Oh, it`s like - you know what? It`s like that show, "Deal or No Deal." People come in there. They`re basically poor, and now they say, $700,000? No!
KEAGAN: Nothing.
BEHAR: I`m going for the million (ph).
FLORENCE: And you see - and you see their cousin Joey on the side, saying "No deal! No deal!"
KEAGAN: For a million, deal!
FLORENCE: That`s $200,000 you`ve never had. Take it.
BEHAR: Now the other thing is -
FLORENCE: Streak. Go ahead.
BEHAR: -- at the - at the same rally, another man threw a book at the president.
Are people becoming unhinged? What is going on out there? Remember, they threw a shoe at Bush. But that was in another country.
KEAGAN: It must be something in the food.
FLORENCE: There must be - (INAUDIBLE) something in the water. I don`t know what it is.
Yes. You know what? I think that what - from what I understand, with that particular thing, he was just trying to get the book onstage, you know? In lot of situations like that, when people, like, are trying to get their demo tapes to producers. That`s what it was is what I understand.
But he was -
KEAGAN: That`s what you need to do with your book.
FLORENCE: Yes.
BERNARD: Yes. Is this how you - is this how you`re going to promote your book, Tyler?
FLORENCE: Somebody, throw my book.
BEHAR: (INAUDIBLE) the FBI would have really been after this guy for trying to attack the president.
FLORENCE: Sure.
BEHAR: What happened to him? I don`t really know.
FLORENCE: I think he`s -
KEAGAN: He didn`t have a weapon on him, or at least one that was legal.
BEHAR: OK. (INAUDIBLE) story. In the wake of cheating rumors, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have gone to Israel to reconnect with each other. So why fly into a war zone? Isn`t that why God invented Amish country?
All right. Are they just trying to revive their careers, Tyler, with all this PDA-ing that they`re doing?
FLORENCE: You know what? I think they`re a very interesting Hollywood couple because you can`t really pinpoint exactly what they do for a living. That`s the thing about -
BEHAR: Well, she`s an actress.
FLORENCE: Yes, but she - but not a lot. And - and he`s an actor, but not a lot. And - but I guess he - they`re sort of, you know, of the - the "Die Hard" movie, you know, like empire -
BERNARD: Well, they tweet for a living. That`s pretty much what they do.
FLORENCE: Was that what they do? They tweet for a living? That`s what -
BEHAR: Well, now that`s what they`re doing.
FLORENCE: (INAUDIBLE) what they do?
BERNARD: But he has 5 million followers. I mean, that`s no joke, obviously. And I feel like they - their marriage is like a brand.
So maybe what they`re doing is essentially what a lot of people do on Twitter. They`re just using it to build their brand and they understand that whether they`re staying married or not staying married, this is what you`ve got to do to keep people interested.
BEHAR: That`s probably true. I mean, she hasn`t made a movie in a while. And what does he do, exactly?
BERNARD: I think he`s been producing.
BEHAR: He produces?
KEAGAN: He produces a lot of things. I mean, "Punk`d" is coming back with Justin Bieber. Why did I promote that? I don`t know. But there you go.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Do all of this tweeting and all this goody-goody stuff they`re doing with each other is to like throw us off?
BERNARD: It doesn`t seem -
(CROSSTALK)
BERNARD: Well, no, but it doesn`t sincere, right? The more public you are, the - the less believable it is.
KEAGAN: Or maybe that`s just the way they get off. I mean, you know, that could be their thing. It`s the way they love each other.
I think he should run for office. I think the things he says on his Twitter is - they`re genius.
BEHAR: Really?
KEAGAN: Yes.
BEHAR: Can you remember any of it?
KEAGAN: Not exactly, no. But the wording is - everything - they`re so creative and wonderful. Like, he just -
BERNARD: Wow.
BEHAR: (INAUDIBLE) E=MC squared, he`s not a genius.
Thank you everyone.
Up next, she`s a TV and comedy legend. Marlo Thomas joins me.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Marlo Thomas grew up the daughter of comedy legend Danny Thomas, and in her new book "Growing Up Laughing" she tells us all about it. I`m happy to welcome back to my show, the lovely Marlo Thomas.
MARLO THOMAS, AUTHOR, "GROWING UP LAUGHING": Thank you so much.
BEHAR: The book is great.
THOMAS: Thank you.
BEHAR: It hit the best seller list.
THOMAS: Already, yes.
BEHAR: Which is great. Congratulations.
THOMAS: Thank you.
BEHAR: You know, it`s part biography, your book.
THOMAS: Yes. Right.
BEHAR: And part growing up with showbiz royalty and everything.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: Like -
THOMAS: That is my past (ph).
BEHAR: I know. But tell me about like when you were a kid, who would be at your house in Beverly Hills?
THOMAS: George Burns, Sid Caesar, Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Carl Reiner.
BEHAR: Wow.
THOMAS: Yes. And I didn`t know any different. I just knew that my dad had a lot of funny friends and they would tell jokes and I would laugh. And I will tell a joke and they would laugh.
BEHAR: They would laugh at your stuff.
THOMAS: Oh, yes. Absolutely.
BEHAR: Well, that was good of them.
THOMAS: Yes. But what`s really great of them is that they didn`t shoo us out of the room. We`d sit on the floor, my sister and brother and I and we`d have a ball. And I would -
BEHAR: Well, they love an audience.
THOMAS: Yes. Well that`s - they had each other.
BEHAR: You know, but now this is fresh blood.
THOMAS: That`s right.
BEHAR: The youth market.
THOMAS: That`s right.
BEHAR: So what about your mother? Was she in on this, too?
THOMAS: No, the women were in the other room. They could have cared less. They heard their husbands` jokes a million times. You know, it was the same old thing, you know? To them it`s their husbands, but to the kids it was really great. And they so enjoyed each other, you know? They loved to tell stories.
BEHAR: There were no female comediennes?
THOMAS: You know, Phyllis Diller was around but she didn`t hang out with the - with the boys -
BEHAR: She didn`t.
THOMAS: -- as I recall.
BEHAR: Well, you know, she was the first woman to break into the Friars Club.
THOMAS: Oh, that`s right. Yes.
BEHAR: So she`s - she wanted that. She wanted to be in - in the group.
THOMAS: And, you know, my father was the only non-Jew allowed at the Hill Crest Country Club. You know, it was - it was restricted because Jews were kept out of the L.A. Country Club and the Bel-Air country club and my dad hung out with all these Jewish comedians.
BEHAR: Yes.
THOMAS: So he said, you know, it`s not fair. We should really let Danny be an honorary member because he`s here all the time playing golf, playing cards. So they took it to the board and Groucho Marx said, well, I don`t mind making a non-Jew an honorary member. I just would like the first one not to look Jewish.
BEHAR: He was a riot. He was a riot. Why did - speaking of Groucho, he was pretty old when he died.
THOMAS: Yes. Yes.
BEHAR: And George Burns, what, is he 103 or something?
THOMAS: And hundred and - yes. And so was Bob Hope, yes.
BEHAR: And when - and tell me, when George Burns was like 98, he said I can`t die. I`m booked.
THOMAS: That`s right.
BEHAR: You know? But -
THOMAS: But I think that`s true. I think if you have plans, you know, you`ll live. If you have some dreams, you know. Come on. I`m too busy.
BEHAR: Henny Youngman, I`d see him at the Friars Club and he`d be like this. He`s 97 (INAUDIBLE). And then you`d say hi, Henny, he`d go, take my wife, please.
So what makes - what do you think makes comedians live so long?
THOMAS: Well, first of all, I think laughing is the best thing you could possibly do. You know, I was talking to Dr. Oz about this. You really take in a lot of oxygen. It sends off endorphins just the way running in the park does. And I don`t know if you ever read about Norman Cousins who had this deteriorated spine -
BEHAR: Yes.
THOMAS: -- and he took terrible, you know, pain medication. But for two hours a day when he watched "The Three Stooges" and the Marx Brothers and Charlie Chaplin, he took no medication and had two hours free of pain. So there is something there.
BEHAR: Wow.
THOMAS: Absolutely.
BEHAR: There are so many more videos now. He could have extended it -
THOMAS: That`s true.
BEHAR: -- three or four hours.
THOMAS: Exactly. YouTube.
BEHAR: Now, in the -
THOMAS: He`d still be alive.
BEHAR: Yes, I know.
In the book you said that Conan O`Brien -
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: -- told us that Jews, blacks and the Irish give us our humor because they were the most oppressed.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: That`s - if you think that is true, well that would be true of women, too, I guess.
THOMAS: Well, that is true. Now, I mean, look at all the women comediennes that there are including you was a long time coming. But, yes, I think he`s right. That that`s - he said it`s like a tea pot and you`re boiling the water and it can`t come out. It`s oppressed. It`s oppressed. It`s oppressed. And finally just explodes and that`s where the humor is. I think so.
BEHAR: And you have to have something to rail against to be funny.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: You know?
THOMAS: Like my dad, people used to say to my father, you talk about the Jewish people, the Catholics, you never talk about anybody else. My father said I never heard a funny joke about a Lutheran.
BEHAR: Never. OK. Now, Tina Fey was interesting -
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: -- on something that she said. She said that at 13 she realized that, quote, "Some girls get to be really pretty.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: And the rest of us have to figure out what our coping mechanism is going to be."
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: So - so in other words if you`re really, really pretty, you can`t be funny if you`re woman or a man really, either one.
THOMAS: Well, most of those guys really are handsome.
BEHAR: Yes. You know, that`s true.
THOMAS: And my dad and George Burns and Jimmy Durante and Bob Hope.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s true.
THOMAS: When you look - Milton Berle, all of Milton Berle (ph).
BEHAR: Woody Allen, Mel Brooks - Mel Brooks.
THOMAS: Yes, exactly.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s true.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: Even Sid Cesar. Well, he was kind of cute.
THOMAS: Yes, he was cute.
BEHAR: But cute is not - is not what she`s talking about because she`s very cute -
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: -- Tina Fey. She`s on the cover of "Vogue."
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: But, I mean, it`s true. Models never are funny.
THOMAS: That`s right.
BEHAR: Because - why?
THOMAS: Because as she says they don`t have to be. Well, you said it too in my book. You said that, you know, if you`re gorgeous you can depend on that. But thank God we`re not gorgeous.
BEHAR: That`s true. Who needs it?
THOMAS: Yes, really.
BEHAR: Although I do suffer from it occasionally. And I - I was shocked to find out that Robin Williams was very quiet during this period.
THOMAS: Yes. Or was that mother? Or, I mean - the idea that his mother used to stuff a rubber band up her nose and then when his little friends came over she let it come out. You know, it`s like no wonder he is who he is.
BEHAR: So he observed her and sort of became funny -
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: -- through her.
THOMAS: Absolutely.
And I asked everybody in the book if there was somebody funny in their life, in their family -
BEHAR: Yes.
THOMAS: -- and everybody had a funny person in their family.
BEHAR: Yes.
THOMAS: you know, Chris Rock`s grandfather was funny.
BEHAR: Yes.
THOMAS: Conan - oh, no. That wasn`t Conan. It was Jay Leno`s father was an insurance salesman and he used to like to tell jokes when he went on a call. And he tried them out on little Jay. And Jay thought, wow. What a great job being an insurance salesman because you get to tell jokes.
BEHAR: That`s funny. That`s funny.
Well, I grew up with funny women all around me. Italian women are hilarious. They don`t always know it -
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: -- but they`re very, very funny.
THOMAS: That`s right.
BEHAR: And before we go to break, I want to ask you - you have a story about George Burns. Do we have time to tell it?
THOMAS: Sure.
BEHAR: Because that is a funny story about George Burns at a funeral or something. What was that?
THOMAS: Oh, yes. It wasn`t at the funeral. Shortly after my dad died and he died suddenly as you know, so it was a big shock to all of us, especially my mother. They`ve been married for 55 years. He was her only boyfriend. He was her entire life.
Anyway, we were all at a restaurant about three months after my dad died and we were kind of moving my mother around like a piece of glass that would break. And we`re at the Hill Crest Country Club, but we were in a side room, you know, just as we`d have some privacy.
And the door opens up and in walks George Burns and we love him. He was always at our house. We were so happy to see him. And he walked right over to my mother and he said, hey, Rosie, I hear you`re single again. And we all went, oh, my God.
BEHAR: Oh, wow.
THOMAS: Everybody was afraid to look. You know, we thought she`d break in half. But she laughed and I - and that`s why I ended the book with that. Because the guts of doing that, that they knew where the funny was -
BEHAR: Right.
THOMAS: -- and they protected their lives with the funny and that`s why I ended the book with it and the last line of my book is "God bless a sense of humor."
BEHAR: Absolutely.
THOMAS: You know?
BEHAR: It certainly lightens the load at a wake.
THOMAS: Absolutely.
BEHAR: OK. We`ll be back with more from Marlo Thomas in just a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Marlo Thomas.
You know, a lot of people are afraid of comedians. You know, I ran into Joe Biden one time before he was vice president, and he said to me, I would - I`m less afraid of going on "meet the press" than on John Stewart.
THOMAS: Yes. You bet.
BEHAR: Why do you - why do you think people are afraid of comedians?
THOMAS: Because John Stewart will get him. He says - you know, he doesn`t have to be this little, polite newscaster. He can really make jokes about the fact that if anybody is full of boloney or not.
BEHAR: That`s true.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: So they`re scared of us?
THOMAS: Sure.
BEHAR: Good.
THOMAS: You "fundit".
BEHAR: They should be. The fundits. I coined that.
THOMAS: Yes. I loved that one.
BEHAR: We`re fundits -- me, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher. I call us fundits, because we`re not really pundits. We don`t really have that sort of sheepskin class. So maybe that`s it.
Now, you know, I want to talk to you - I`ll let that pass.
Now, you recently finished a picture with Demi Moore. Now, she`s in barrage with all sorts of breakup rumors, and someone told me - and I don`t remember this. You had this sort of thing when you were first married to Phil.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: What was that?
THOMAS: It`s boloney. They - they go after you. It`s terrible. And I - I wrote an e-mail to Demi and said, just - you know, just get through it. Don`t pay attention to it.
That`s what Liz Smith said to me at the time, when I - I was sobbing over the fact that there were all these rumors that we were getting a divorce. They said we were going to lawyers and it really scared me, and I thought, oh my God, they`re going to just come to the windows and make up anything they want.
And she said you`ll just outlive them. Your marriage will outlive them, and then they`ll go away. Absolutely.
BEHAR: As long as you knew it was a happy marriage -
THOMAS: And then another celebrity couple will get married and they`ll go after them. It`ll pass.
BEHAR: That`s true. That`s true.
And, you know, the thing about - how long were you married to Phil?
THOMAS: Thirty years.
BEHAR: Good for you. Congratulations.
THOMAS: See there? And they said it wouldn`t last.
BEHAR: Exactly.
THOMAS: Exactly.
BEHAR: But I also read that you said that you didn`t realize until after you married him that he is your father. How is Phil Donahue like Danny Thomas?
THOMAS: He`s sweet. He`s decent. And he`s - he`s - we have the same definitions for some of the most important words like "good" and "bad" and "fair" and "unfair". You know? And I think that`s kind of the secret, because if you have to say to somebody that`s not fair and they say, what do you mean it`s not fair? You`re through.
So I think that`s really helped us. And the sense of humor. We`re able to laugh at it.
BEHAR: Oh, yes.
THOMAS: You know, there - there are people - there are like three kinds of people when it comes to laughter - somebody who can see it just as it`s happening, like you do; or you can see it maybe a little bit later; or you never see it, God forbid.
BEHAR: That`s a genetic disorder.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: You never see -
(CROSSTALK)
THOMAS: Or there are some people who tell you 20 years later, no I did not think that was funny. I`ve never gotten over it.
BEHAR: I know people like that.
THOMAS: I know. You want to run. Run as far as you can.
BEHAR: How about people in the audience who sit there like this when you`re just trying to get a laugh?
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: And they don`t laugh, and they`re laughing internally.
THOMAS: I know. I`ve -
BEHAR: Don`t laugh internally, OK?
THOMAS: I know. And I`ve played (INAUDIBLE) the whole play. I just so want them to come back. Cheer up. Cheer up.
BEHAR: You know, one more thing about comedy that I wanted to hit on is that something Jerry Seinfeld said. He said that a good comedian is very funny - a very funny little mixture of humility and outrageous egomania. What do you think about that?
THOMAS: I think it`s true. Absolutely.
Well, they wouldn`t be nervous, you know? They - you have to be nervous when you go perform, but also they believe they can do it. That`s the big thing.
You - you should sit there and I will do the talking. That`s what - also what he said, and Joan Rivers said the same thing.
But he said an even better thing that I`ve really taken with me, which is that children laugh 75 times a day and adults laugh 12.
BEHAR: That`s maybe in his - in his world. I laugh more than 12 times.
THOMAS: I know.
BEHAR: Maybe it`s Jerry.
THOMAS: He doesn`t have a nightly show.
BEHAR: He doesn`t have a show nightly with people that make me - making me laugh.
THOMAS: But on my MarloThomas.com on AOL -
BEHAR: Good girl.
THOMAS: We have the (ph) laugh of the day.
BEHAR: Good girl.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: OK. Thanks, Marlo --
THOMAS: Thank you.
BEHAR: For coming by. It`s a terrific read.
THOMAS: Thank you.
BEHAR: And it deserves to be on the bestseller list.
THOMAS: Thank you.
BEHAR: OK, it`s called "Growing Up Laughing."
Good night everybody. Have a laugh. Laugh at least 75 times a day. That`s my advice.
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