Return to Transcripts main page
Joy Behar Page
Red, Black and Blue; Interview with Margaret Cho
Aired November 03, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: Last night the presumptive Speaker of the House, John Boehner, got very emotional sobbing at the results of the election. There he is. See, he`s crying. But you know what? He`s not the only one. All right, guys, it will be ok.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW from Red Tuesday to Black Wednesday, Lewis Black sounds off on all the midterm election highlights and lowlights.
Then James Carville tells Joy what a Boehner-led House of Representatives will look like.
Plus Mama Grizzly`s even got out the vote on dancing with the stars as Bristol Palin survives another week.
That and more starting right now.
BEHAR: With all of the hysteria going on after yesterday`s elections, I thought it would be a good idea to have a calm, measured voice of reason to discuss the results. Yes. With me is the author of "I`m Dreaming of a Black Christmas", the always serene Lewis Black. Ok.
So any chest pains since the election results came in?
LEWIS BLACK, AUTHOR, "I`M DREAMING OF A BLACK CHRISTMAS": No, relief.
BEHAR: What are you relieved about?
BLACK: It`s over.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s over, yes.
BLACK: Nineteen days, 18 days, it`s all going to change. Everyone will die. Oh, no, giant monsters. Nuts. Nineteen days to the election. Shut up. When did we get to this point?
BEHAR: Well, look what happened, though. There was a tsunami of Republicans taking over the House like crazy. And a lot --
BLACK: Ooh. Did we make everything different now? Things are going to be so wonderful now. You know, we`ll wake up tomorrow there will be a big rainbow in the sky and a pot of gold at the end.
BEHAR: I know. I can`t wait. You know, remember Gore Vidal the great philosopher king that he was.
BLACK: Oh, yes.
BEHAR: He said that -- he calls this country the United States of Amnesia because they forget everything in this country. Did they really think that we`re going to be able to fix things in two years?
BLACK: Isn`t that extraordinary? A year and a half, you know, these guys basically, same groups, you know, spend -- it`s Democrats and Republicans, you know, work together to create this.
BEHAR: Yes.
BLACK: And they flush everything down the toilet, and then all of the sudden, now the Republicans are really going to be good at plumbing? Yes, now, oh boy now we know what to do. We`ve got a rooter.
What are they going to do? I watched these -- I was in Vegas, you know, working there, and the guys, the ads were like, they were one after the other. I mean the show, you know, they go to commercial break, they didn`t advertise any, it was like you`re killing the economy, you idiots. What about things you can buy rather than Sharron Angle or Harry Reid.
And it got to the point where I just wanted them to have ads -- Republicans should have an ad with like a big bull mastiff dog and then have the Democrats come on with a couple of big Labradors licking things, and that would be it. That would be fine.
BEHAR: That would have been entertaining at least.
BLACK: It would be entertaining and it has as much content.
BEHAR: I`ll tell you what was rather entertaining. John Boehner, the House minority leader was crying when he won. Watch this.
BLACK: Yes, good, good.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. JOHN BOEHNER (R), OHIO: I put myself through school, working every rotten job there was and every night shift I can find. And I poured my heart and soul into running a small business. And when I saw how out of touch Washington has become with the core values of this great nation, I put my name forward, and ran for office.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Oh, hitting the old --
BLACK: What about empathy? To have this guy weep like that, I did this, I came up, I came out, I was born in a field, mom sat over a stump and there were no doctors. And now, he`s like got no empathy whatsoever for the 14 percent that are out there starving to death. You idiot.
BEHAR: He`s crying for himself.
BLACK: He`s crying --
BEHAR: He feels bad for himself. He seems like maybe he had a couple drinks before he went out there. That could be. I mean I forgive him for that, you know, because -- I really felt bad, you know what I means? It`s.
BLACK: He was drinking much the way I forgive hecklers who are completely drunk.
BEHAR: Exactly. Exactly.
Ok, he said the American people`s message to the president is change course. Do you agree with that?
BLACK: He thinks the American people --
BEHAR: That`s what they were saying in this election.
BLACK: No the American people`s message was, is basically we`re insane. We have reached the limit. We have, this is what I think they decided. We have tried every possible route to govern ourselves and now we`re going to move straight to ignorance. Let us try with people who don`t -- have never been, you know, no sense of government service whatsoever. and let`s just get people with barely functioning, you can do what is it when you check brain waves, if they`ve got nothing, bring them in.
BEHAR: An EEG. Or an MRI, put an MRI on them.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: What about Christine O`Donnell? She was brilliant. What are you talking about?
BLACK: She`s spectacular. I said -- I think you have to rewrite, if you want to be a U.S. senator you have to have touched yourself within a year.
BEHAR: I agree with that.
BLACK: Seriously.
BEHAR: That`s like a good campaign slogan. I like that. You must touch yourself within a year if you want to run for the senate.
BLACK: How do you know you`re there? How does she have any idea that she`s even around? How do you go 13 years? That`s one of the scariest things I`ve ever heard. It`s like women I probably dated in my life, if a woman said that while I was sitting across from her having coffee I would have thrown water in her face and I would have slapped her. Not hard. Just to kind of, wake up, just a little pat.
BEHAR: You`re a pussycat. That`s not true.
BLACK: I know, I wouldn`t slap; not a hard slap but it would certainly get to the point where you kind of go, wake up.
BEHAR: What about this Sarah Palin, she had a lot of success with endorsements, 30 out of 43 in the House.
BLACK: What states?
BEHAR: Wherever in the United States.
BLACK: What backwater? Wherever there`s brackish water --
BEHAR: Listen, 30 out of 43 is not back water. That`s the country.
BLACK: No, it`s not. I`ve been around the country and the one thing I`ve noticed is we continue to act like -- we have a common language. I get it. We do.
BEHAR: Really?
BLACK: Yes, we do.
BEHAR: You mean Spanish? Yo quiero Taco Bell.
Are you scared that she could be president? Sarah.
BLACK: No. I don`t think she can. I really have that much faith in --
BEHAR: Really? Didn`t you think George Bush would never become president, W.?
BLACK: No, George -- that I kind of thought might happen.
BEHAR: You did. Why?
BLACK: Well, because he seemed to be from another planet.
BEHAR: She doesn`t?
BLACK: She`s from like `50s television. She`s like right off "Leave it to Beaver". I just think -- I`ll give her five states. Give her five states, let her take, they can all gather there, they can call the place 1950s.
BEHAR: I agree with that.
BLACK: Call it 1956, they get -- they`re only allowed black and white TV and they can`t have cell phones and they can`t Twitter. Ok. That`s what you get. If you want to go back there, you have to live like that.
BEHAR: Ok. Listen to this, this is a new thing about George W., he just mentioned this. He said that his work -- this is what he said to Matt Lauer on the "Today" show -- his worst moment as president was when Kanye West accused him for not doing enough for black people. I would have voted for choking on the pretzel, wouldn`t you?
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: But no, it`s not Katrina. It`s not the WMDs that didn`t exist in Iraq. It`s that Kanye West said he didn`t like black people.
BLACK: That is what George W. thought was the worst moment.
BEHAR: Yes. Isn`t that sort of like a narcissistic disorder? To bring that back to yourself like that after all you did. Unbelievable.
BLACK: Well, he`s never really been in touch with himself.
BEHAR: Like Christine O`Donnell.
BLACK: Exactly.
BEHAR: Would you ever run for anything?
BLACK: I`d run from something.
BEHAR: You would never run for office?
BLACK: Oh God. No, because I don`t want to deal with those people. If I lived in the co-op, I wouldn`t be on the co-op board. A bunch of schmucks sitting there, I got to say this about that. You really should have some (INAUDIBLE) -- the tile isn`t right. The tile isn`t right. I couldn`t do it.
BEHAR: But you`re crazy enough for them to vote for you. That`s what`s beautiful about you. You could be in the Tea Party if you greed with them.
BLACK: If I agreed with them. But I have no desire. I lived around Washington, D.C. That kills your taste for it.
BEHAR: Yes. Yes. Exactly.
BLACK: Except I can`t think of his name -- I always forget it -- the guy who was found in the fountain with the stripper. You remember that?
BLACK: Wilbur Mills. That`s the --
BEHAR: Wilbur Mills. Wilbur.
BLACK: Give him 50 bucks.
BEHAR: We`re going to take a break. We`ll be back with more from Lewis Black.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with the man Stephen King called the most engagingly pissed-off comedian ever, Lewis Black, comedian and author of "I`m Dreaming of a Black Christmas." We`ll get to that book in a second.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: I want to know -- what do you make of this Charlie Sheen debacle lately? I mean any similar skeletons in your closet?
BLACK: No, I`ve never been able to afford that kind of stuff. Imagine you`re able to sit there with $5,000 bottles of you know Chateau Latour you know and hookers and crank and whatever you want --
BEHAR: Yes.
BLACK: -- in the Plaza, wow. I mean I could have been there.
BEHAR: With the kids down the hall.
BLACK: Yes, well that`s really -- well, you know, you`d forget. What are you going to do?
BEHAR: The kids, yes.
BLACK: And it`s their bedtime.
BEHAR: Yes.
BLACK: What`s amazing is the show`s ratings went up the next --
BEHAR: I know.
BLACK: -- right after that. What did they think oh let`s see if his nose is bleeding? What were they going to watch?
BEHAR: Aren`t you upset that Prop 9 -- I think it`s Prop 9 or 19 --
BLACK: 19.
BEHAR: -- 19 didn`t go.
BLACK: I am upset.
BEHAR: That pot -- pot smokers are upset.
BLACK: And I don`t -- I didn`t even -- I don`t smoke and I really don`t. I know it seems like I do but I don`t and -- but because I did so much as a kid, it didn`t work anymore. And then when I tried it when it was good it scared me to death but I think it`s -- I think it`s stupid that it didn`t pass.
I mean, it would have been great for the national discussion, and what would be nice is we then -- we -- we -- I -- I -- we`ve gotten -- we don`t know how to -- we don`t know have any concept of how to make the economy go.
BEHAR: That`s right. There`s an ad -- there`s a plan.
BLACK: -- tax what the people are smoking. What do they think that people are -- that more people will smoke? They`re smoking it now. What kind of a schmucky country am I in? Oh, boy you go there, if we just keep it under wraps? They`re already puffing away. I go to my friend`s houses they`re smoking in the basement and the kids are out -- I got to go to the woods to talk with the kids, they`re hiding from the parents, they are smoking.
BEHAR: And the parents are hiding from the kids.
BLACK: Exactly.
BEHAR: Yes.
BLACK: They`re down in the basement behind like a water heater.
BEHAR: Yes, yes. Now let`s -- let`s talk about your book "I`m Dreaming of a Black Christmas".
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: I think, why do you hate Christmas, they give you a little thorazine you make a great Santa.
BLACK: I -- I did Santa.
BEHAR: You did?
BLACK: I was at -- we did this I think for the history of surviving the holidays and in it I dress up like Santa and they brought real kids in which is freaky and then they have them sit on my lap and I -- and I was wearing that Santa outfit and I`ve worn a Santa outfit three times and I`ll tell you this. You`ve got to be an alcoholic to be a Santa.
BEHAR: You do and they are. And they are.
BLACK: Yes, you`ve got to be somebody who has knocked back six bottles of Chablis and you have some peppermint schnapps on the side.
BEHAR: Who do you think is doing this stuff?
BLACK: I don`t know but it`s -- it`s really it`s the most -- these guys, you`re sitting there and the kids are coming up and there is -- and I say what do you want? And they go, well, you know I really like an iPod. Well, great, I`m giving them the iPod. Yes you`ll get your iPod. Basically I`m just lying.
And then the kid wakes up on Christmas Day there`s no iPod.
BEHAR: And hates Santa.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: And hates Santa.
BLACK: He gets an etch-a-sketch.
BEHAR: Now, why is a Jew writing a book about Christmas, just asking?
BLACK: Well, it`s a -- I was asked by my publisher -- my publisher says I think you can bring a perspective to writing about Christmas. I, of course, said I`m a Jew. He said well Charles Dickens was a Jew.
BEHAR: Really?
BLACK: Oh he was a liar.
BEHAR: That`s a liar. Charles Dickens?
BLACK: Then he goes saying -- then that -- then he did something that -- he said something that just knocked me over the edge, two things he went, "Glenn Beck wrote a Christmas book."
BEHAR: Oh.
BLACK: Then that just did it. If Glenn Beck can write a Christmas book I can write a Christmas book. And then he said if you write your third book, you`ll be known, they`ll know you as an author.
BEHAR: Oh.
BLACK: Oh, God, and that really got to me.
BEHAR: Oh.
BLACK: It got to that little, you know, fruity part of me.
BEHAR: But -- but and so -- why didn`t you write a book about Hanukkah? We could use a book about Hanukkah.
BLACK: Because I didn`t -- because there`s nothing to write about. What are you -- my -- my parents by the time I was 15 we were lighting two and a half candles and then my parents are like --
BEHAR: It bears down.
BLACK: -- you know, forget it, I`m not doing this anymore. It`s actually a bitter, it`s actually it`s -- and I actually like the book which means probably people will hide it but I really feel like I --
BEHAR: I read some of it. It`s very funny. But you also -- I think you like Christmas. Because -- one of the things I read, you said if we had Christmas all year-round it would solve the world`s problems.
BLACK: Yes, it would.
BEHAR: Because everybody`s in a happy mood and giving and loving, yes.
BLACK: You know everybody is going to -- yes if we could -- if we could actually celebrate Christmas and then separate people from their families we could really solve the world`s problems.
BEHAR: That would be good. We need to do that.
BLACK: Yes, that would be perfect.
BEHAR: But do you think that the county is going to get more in a Christmas spirit now that the Republicans are in office or less?
BLACK: Oh, I think they`ll get into it. I think they`re going to burrow into the Christmas spirit like nobody`s ever seen and not because they`re Republicans or Democrats, just because it`s time to go to fantasyland. They got to escape this.
BEHAR: They do.
BLACK: You know, there is -- it is really --
BEHAR: And you are escaping Christmas, right? You escape every year?
BLACK: Every Thanksgiving I leave because --
BEHAR: For how -- for how long?
BLACK: I leave like on a -- I leave like the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Monday and then come back on that Sunday, and then it`s like it`s already been six weeks of Christmas.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s true. It starts on Halloween, yes.
BLACK: Yes it starts on Halloween but by Thanksgiving it`s like it`s the running of the bulls, you got to, it`s Christmas. Santa`s landing every 30 seconds somewhere --
BEHAR: Yes.
BLACK: -- and shop, shop you bastards. Shop. You know that Black Friday nonsense? And then there`s all the coverage.
BEHAR: Yes.
BLACK: You can -- you can literally go around and terrorize neighborhoods because everybody`s in a store.
BEHAR: It`s true.
Ok, let me ask you another question that`s in your book. You reveal in the book that at 26 you married your pregnant wife.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: And five months after her -- the birth of the baby, she told you the child wasn`t yours.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: Is that`s why you hate Christmas?
BLACK: Oh no, no, no, no. I just wish it had been a virgin birth. Apparently some other guy got to her.
BEHAR: So you married the girl.
BLACK: Well, of course you do that, don`t you?
BEHAR: She`s -- well, she`s pregnant because you`re a nice guy.
BLACK: Yes, of course you do.
BEHAR: And then she says it`s not your baby.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: Whose baby was it?
BLACK: It was a mime, can you imagine?
BEHAR: A mime knocked your wife up?
BLACK: A mime, yes, probably after he did his little hand thing. Look, ooh, wow, wow and then the next thing --
BEHAR: Is this a true story?
BLACK: It`s absolutely true. Who can make this crap up? Why would I go on TV and go well, it was a mime. It`s just not even a great punch line.
BEHAR: But Marcel Marceau is dead, he`s the only mime I know.
BLACK: Oh no there are others that are creeping around.
BEHAR: Oh they`re scary, mimes are scary.
BLACK: Yes at least it wasn`t a circus clown. That would have been worse.
BEHAR: That is really scary.
BLACK: Yes.
BEHAR: So then what happened? Did you get a divorce?
BLACK: Well, isn`t that what you`d normally do? No, I said let`s -- let`s make a bigger family. Let`s -- let`s all three of us try to work it out.
BEHAR: But then you left, did the mime -- did the mime marry her?
BLACK: I don`t even -- I -- I think the mime -- no -- yes, he did.
BEHAR: He married her?
BLACK: He married her and they came -- yes --
BEHAR: And that`s a while ago because you`re old now.
BLACK: I have -- really, I have gotten older during this segment.
BEHAR: Has the baby mime --
BLACK: The baby mime has grown up?
BEHAR: Has he turned into a grownup mime himself?
BLACK: No because then if they did get married or live together they separated early on.
BEHAR: Oh, I`m exhausted from you.
BLACK: It was really great for me.
BEHAR: And you came in on the red eye.
BLACK: Yes. Imagine what it would be like otherwise.
BEHAR: The book is called "I`m Dreaming of a Black Christmas".
(CROSSTALK)
BLACK: Buy it. It`s a stocking stuffer.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Actress and comedian Margaret Cho is funny, feisty and frank - - three of my favorite things -- and she`s here with me now. Margaret. It`s so good to see you.
MARGARET CHO, COMEDIAN: Hi.
BEHAR: I want to start with something kind of controversial about I read in her new memoir, Portia De Rossi, who`s Ellen DeGeneres -- are they married?
CHO: They`re married.
BEHAR: She reveals her struggle with anorexia and she says that at one point she weighed 82 pounds.
CHO: Wow. Now I was anorexic and I never broke 150. How come I -- what`s wrong with me? I was legitimately hospitalized, anorexia but I was still 150. How do these girls do it?
BEHAR: Because you fought it. That`s why.
CHO: I had a fight in me. Well I ate. That was the weird thing.
BEHAR: Which is worse, bulimia sounds even worse because it goes through your nose and everything.
CHO: Yes but I was also not very good at throwing up so I would just hold onto it, too. I was just, you know, but it`s a disease, you know, anorexia and bulimia they are as serious as cancer, something as deadly.
BEHAR: Well, it could kill you. It killed Karen Carpenter.
CHO: It kills young girls and also kills your spirit. It`s terrible. I`m glad that she`s talking about it. It`s nice to have honesty about the subject.
BEHAR: She is talking about it. But she says that it was at her worst during the time she was on Ally McBeal because -- this is interesting -- she said that there was a competition to be anorexic over there.
CHO: Yes.
BEHAR: That is really strange.
CHO: Well, it`s some stiff competition. You know, you`re competing against --
BEHAR: Calista Flockhart --
CHO: She`s like the gold medallist of anorexia. Who is thinner than that? Nobody, I mean really.
BEHAR: She was thin but I don`t know if she was anorexic.
CHO: I don`t know if she`s anorexic. You can`t judge, you can`t say but I think the image of her because she was so thin whether it was natural or whatever, people thought that`s what I have to look like. Girls thought that`s what I have to look at.
You know it`s a competitive kind of disease you`re constantly comparing yourself to other women`s bodies and it`s hard.
BEHAR: well, Portia de Rossi, I can`t believe she`s Italian even though her name is de Rossi because I`ve never met an Italian who is bulimic or anorexic. I just haven`t heard of it. The food is too good to resist. I`m sure they`re out there but I never met one.
CHO: I know, I know.
BEHAR: Now let`s go Sesame Street. Bert may have finally come out of the closet.
CHO: I love it.
BEHAR: This is what he wrote on Twitter. Bert the puppet -- ever notice how similar my hair is to Mr. T`s? The only difference is mine is a little more mo, a little less hawk. Now Mo is slang for gay, is it not?
CHO: I don`t --
BEHAR: Is this the proof we`ve been waiting for. Is Big Bird now going to come out as a drag queen?
CHO: Big Bird is a big drag queen. I`ve always thought of Bert and Ernie as gay.
BEHAR: They are a couple.
CHO: They`ve been -- they`re a long-term couple. They`re going to get married. They`re going to move to Connecticut and get married. I think they are a fine example of a long-term relationship that`s gone very well.
BEHAR: Absolutely.
CHO: They`re adorable
BEHAR: Now, other characters have been accused of being gay: Tinky Winky of the Teletubbies.
CHO: Yes, that`s right.
BEHAR: Spongebob Squarepants.
CHO: Really?
BEHAR: They`ve also been accused -- all right.
Let`s do this plug for you before we go. You have the New York Comedy Festival this weekend.
CHO: Yes.
BEHAR: Are last night`s elections going to be very prominent in your set?
CHO: Well it`s a big part. I mean we`re right like right now so politicized. I`m disappointed about Prop 19 -- the pot thing. It`s just - - don`t try to get stoners to go to the polls; they`re not going to go.
BEHAR: Exactly.
CHO: They`re not going to go.
BEHAR: Exactly. Ok.
Margaret, when we come back I want to you take on Bristol Palin surviving another week on "Dancing with the Stars".
CHO: Can you believe?
BEHAR: Don`t go away.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: Coming up a little later on the JOY BEHAR SHOW, Charlie Sheen may have lost a wife, but reports say he`s gained a new roommate, his very own live-in sobriety coach.
And the always outspoken James Carville tries to find a bright spot in last night`s historic Republican landslide. Now back to Joy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Last night, Bristol Palin survived yet another round on "Dancing with the Stars." Is this because she`s a great dancer or is it a referendum on Obama`s foxtrot? With me now to talk about this and other story in the news are comedian Margaret Cho, Joe Levy, editor-in-chief of "Maxim" magazine and Judge Glenda Hatchett, author of "Dare to Take Charge: How to Live Your Life on Purpose."
Welcome to the show, guys. Margaret you were on the season of "Dancing with the Stars."
MARGARET CHO, COMEDIAN: Yes.
BEHAR: And they unceremoniously kicked you off.
CHO: Unceremoniously. Well, it`s hard because I think comics have a hard time on that show because they don`t expect us to be good dancers. I`m not a great dancer, but I`m not bad.
BEHAR: No.
CHO: So, this whole thing with Bristol, she`s really surviving. These tea partiers really come out --
BEHAR: That`s what it is, isn`t it? Don`t you, Joe? They`re really voting for her.
JOE LEVY, EDITOR IN CHIEF, MAXIM: I don`t know what else they could be voting for because I stopped watching after you were eliminated -- I mean, you know. that was it.
CHO: Why bother, right?
LEVY: We have to draw the line somewhere. I`ve drawn the line there. But, no, what else could they be voting for, because this young woman has no discernible talent, except for the fertility thing, as far as I can tell.
BEHAR: Don`t mock it until you tried it.
LEVY: I have tried it. I practiced a lot, but no, no, and I mean, she`s been on TV as an actress, and she`s better actress than dancer but not particularly good at either. So, why is she there? They`re kicking off people who can actually dance.
BEHAR: Is she a better actress than her mother?
CHO: That`s the question.
LEVY: Wow.
CHO: They`re not in the White House, that`s all I care about.
BEHAR: But it`s sort of like, kind of like if she`s popular in this way, that means her mother is popular in the country. Doesn`t it sort of - -
LEVY: So, you`re saying the presidential elections work a little bit like high school is what you`re saying?
BEHAR: Kind of. Yes. But Judge Hatchett, are you scared that Sarah Palin become president?
JUDGE GLENDA HATCHETT, AUTHOR, "DARE TO TAKE CHARGE": I am concerned. I am concerned. You know, I really am. I mean, I just have to say that. I am deeply concerned because, you know, I mean, this is a woman who kind of came out of nowhere that showed us that she didn`t read newspapers and that she doesn`t really know where Alaska was in relationship to Russia, you know, and I mean --
BEHAR: And she quit her governorship right in the middle. That`s the worst sin and that will hurt her more than any of the other things, I think.
HATCHETT: I don`t think so. I don`t think so. I think people love having her out here running around. She would have done that without --
BEHAR: You mean the Democrats won`t put up signs "she`s a quitter"?
HATCHETT: No, I don`t think so. I think --
LEVY: Yes, I think we`re all hoping the Democrats are exactly that vicious, but so far --
BEHAR: I know they`re not.
LEVY: It doesn`t seem to be happening.
BEHAR: I know. What a nicey, nicey like Jon Stewart wants everybody to get along.
CHO: It`s good that they`re on a reality show. I mean, it`s a reality show, it`s not politics, which I think is something, there`s something to be said for that. They`re not in the White House.
BEHAR: That`s right.
CHO: They`re dancing.
BEHAR: OK. Moving on, one person who says he`s too busy to watch Bristol on "Dancing with the Stars," was (INAUDIBLE), Levi Johnston who`s come up with the platform for his campaign, better schools, less time crime and more jobs. He should know, he has three jobs, he`s a mode, naked model. He`s an athlete, a pundit, and now a mayoral candidate. So, he`s got four jobs, Joe.
LEVY: Didn`t he also sell pistachio nuts for a little while?
BEHAR: Yes, I think he did.
LEVY: And (INAUDIBLE) deal, seriously. Anyway, yes, he`s running one of his platforms is better schools. Has he finished high school yet?
BEHAR: Not.
LEVY: He`s not. OK. All right. OK.
BEHAR: He`s working on his high school diploma.
HATCHETT: And that`s why he needs the schools to be better so he can go back and finish.
LEVY: His platform is very -- he needs a job.
HATCHETT: He needs a job.
LEVY: He needs to finish high school.
HATCHETT: And then have great schools so probably go back unless you can have great schools.
LEVY: Also, if he`s mayor then he has a job. So, it`s a very self- centered platform, I think.
BEHAR: Yes. Now, he has also said in various interviews that he thought Sarah Palin was unqualified. This is the pot calling the kettle, isn`t it? I mean, really, come on, really.
HATCHETT: And the whole thing about the platform, I mean like, did he just kind of come up with this platform after they asked him and he didn`t have a platform? And so now, he has a platform. I mean, he didn`t finish high school. You have no experience, but then that`s like a lot of people who have no experience.
BEHAR: Exactly.
CHO: When he accomplish (ph) all those things, does he say how it`s going to happen?
BEHAR: No. He doesn`t say how. We asked him when he was on "The View" how, and he says I haven`t thought it through yet.
LEVY: This is Alaska, right? That`s Alaska.
BEHAR: Yes, it`s Alaska.
LEVY: And he plays hockey really, really well, right?
BEHAR: Yes.
LEVY: So, he can campaign on the hockey thing, right?
BEHAR: Yes. That`s right.
LEVY: I mean, it`s Alaska.
BEHAR: That`s true. That`s true. OK. Let`s turn to another subject. Charlie Sheen, OK? He has reportedly hired a sober coach who is living with him and accompanying him to the set of "Two and a Half Man." Unfortunately, it`s Andy Dick. No.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now, Sheen`s official story, let me ask the judge over here.
HATCHETT: Yes.
BEHAR: About the hotel incident is that he had an allergic reaction to some medication. Why not hire an allergist?
HATCHETT: I don`t buy it for a minute. I don`t buy it for a minute and whatever he had an allergic reaction to, then why didn`t you call your doctor and why aren`t you bringing some kind of complaint against them? I don`t buy the allergy stuff.
LEVY: Also, just because you sneeze after you do coke, that is not kind of an allergy. That is not --
(LAUGHTER)
LEVY: That`s not, no.
HATCHETT: I wish he`d come in my courtroom with that. You know, like, I trashed the hotel $20,000 worth of damage, but I had an allergic reaction. You know, I may have heard a lot of stories. I would say get the hell out of here.
CHO: You could say that a drug addict would have an allergy to drugs. So, I mean that`s what they say alcoholics have an allergy to alcohol which is why they`re in the program. You know, so that could be a legitimate thing.
BEHAR: Yes, take that, Joe Levy.
(LAUGHTER)
LEVY: OK. How did I get the blame for this one? You know who`s got a hard job, though?
BEHAR: Who?
LEVY: His sober coach.
BEHAR: I know.
LEVY: I mean, this is just ridiculous. This is like, I mean, you know, the people who are coaching those rotund folks on "The Biggest Loser" have an easier job in front of them
BEHAR: Yes. He has had sober coach before. And my information is he had a sober coach with him on Christmas Eve when he attacked his wife. Hello? Hello?
HATCHETT: Maybe we need to interview the sober coaches a little bit better. You know, my theory is that he got the sober coach because he really doesn`t have the time now because of his filming schedule to go into rehab. So, I think, this is kind of like the PR solution to say I`m going to have the sober coach, but I`m going to keep being on the set of my TV show because I really can`t commit to going into rehab which is probably where he needs to be.
BEHAR: But the show is getting, the ratings went through the roof since this latest incident.
CHO: People are so curious about him now. I mean, you know, it (INAUDIBLE) people want to see if he`s going to collapse or something.
BEHAR: Yes. And Randy Quaid`s career is taking off, I hear also.
LEVY: OK. That`s -- he ran for the border and his career was taking off?
BEHAR: Nobody was thinking about him, and now, everybody`s got him on the radar. It`s interesting, isn`t it?
CHO: Very interesting.
BEHAR: OK. Finally, George W. Bush told Matt Lauer in a new interview that the "all-time low" quote/unquote of his presidency was drum roll, please, when Kanye West famously said he didn`t care about black people. Judge, 9/11, the Iraq war, Katrina, the economic collapse --
HATCHETT: Poverty, disease, aids, I mean, you know, I think of a lot of things that could top that list before you get to the point of caring that Kanye said you don`t care about black people. I mean, you know, that just seems so absolutely incredible.
BEHAR: And also a rap artist that`s so powerful that he`s putting George Bush into a depression?
HATCHETT: Yes. I think it`s crazy. I don`t buy it.
CHO: It`s symbolic of how people were -- I think what Kanye said was symbolic of how people were feeling in general about Katrina and the frustration that we all had with the Bush administration during Katrina. So, I think it`s very self-centered for George Bush to say that, but it`s also very typical Bush for him to say that.
HATCHETT: That`s prior (ph) to Katrina, remember? I mean, he flew over first.
LEVY: He is on his way home from vacation.
HATCHETT: Yes. I mean, you know, so come on, there are a lot of things that were far more pressing in this administration than what Kanye said.
BEHAR: What do you think, Joe?
LEVY: I mean, there are two things here. One is if you read the transcript of his interview with Matt Lauer, he doesn`t say anywhere mistakes were made, a city was devastated. He says, and this is the second point, "Kanye West called me a racist." Actually, Kanye didn`t call him a racist. He said he was tone deaf. He doesn`t care about black people which is not the same as being a racist, necessarily.
So, George Bush is hurt. His feelings are hurt. His, I don`t know, pride is hurt. His sense of justice is hurt. I have no idea, but I don`t care. I really don`t care about this.
BEHAR: No, but the question is, how many more careers can Kanye hijack?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: This is the second one.
LEVY: You`re comparing Taylor Swift to the president now.
BEHAR: Yes.
HATCHETT: They`re really similar.
BEHAR: I mean, they`re in the same -- did you watch the election results last night?
LEVY: No, I was too busy listening to Taylor Swift`s new album. Yes, we all watched it.
BEHAR: And today, I watched Obama. He seemed so sad today at the press conference. Did you watch it?
HATCHETT: I didn`t see it. I was on the plane.
BEHAR: He seemed sad, trust me. And he said as they said to him, how does it feel with all the losses? He said it doesn`t feel good. It feels bad. I felt sorry for Obama today.
LEVY: I feel like these guys should not take it so personally. I think when you get to be president, you should know people are going to be angry and upset with you.
BEHAR: But this much? They`re pummeling the guy.
HATCHETT: But they`re beating up on him for a piece that he really inherited. I mean, nobody`s saying that this was really, really tough before you got it, and you`re chipping away at it, which is what I have a real issue with. All of a sudden, now, he`s president, all the ills of the world forever are on him.
BEHAR: Yes. I know he gets the blame for everything.
HATCHETT: Everything.
CHO: Give him a chance to recover.
BEHAR: They`re not going to. OK. Thanks, guys, very much. Catch Margaret Cho performing her brand new Cho Dependent material at the Beacon Theater on Friday for the New York Comedy Festival. We`ll be back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow on the JOY BEHAR SHOW, actress, Shannen Doherty, plus ventriloquist extraordinaire, Jeff Dunham. Now back to Joy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: It was election night last night or as I like to call it "American Idol" for nerds. The Republicans won a lot of seats last night, and they seem to be thrilled to be taking back some power. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. JIM DEMINT, (R) SOUTH CAROLINA: I can almost feel the ground shaking here because there`s an earthquake election going on all over this country.
(CLAPPING)
REP. JOHN BOEHNER, (R) EXPECTED TO BE NEXT HOUSE SPEAKER: For far too long, Washington`s been doing what`s best for Washington, not what`s best for the American people, and tonight, that begins to change.
RAND PAUL, (R) KENTUCKY SENATOR ELECT: We`ve come to take our government back!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Here now to talk about what does this mean are James Carville, CNN contributor and Democratic strategist, plus Erick Erickson, CNN contributor also and editor in chief of RedState.com. OK, guys, the GOP won big. Do you think that the people voted for Republicans or they voted against something? That`s the part I don`t quite get?
ERICK ERICKSON, CNN CONTRIBUTOR: You know, I think the Republicans read this as a victory for themselves as opposed to a loss for the Democrats. They`re going to badly misread what happened. The significance of it to me though is that I`ve been told by several political scientists this is the first election in about 100 years where one party in one night has swept all the way down to the municipal level which is big for the Republicans, but this is about people just not liking the direction of the country. Republicans are still hated.
BEHAR: Uh-huh. Do you agree with that?
JAMES CARVILLE, CNN CONTRIBUTOR: They`re equally both parties are equally disliked, I guess, is what the exit polls in all of the polling coming up to the elections. Look, this is monumental, 65 seats, it`s huge.
BEHAR: Right.
CARVILLE: People don`t quite, I think, understand just how conservative these Republicans are and how many more of them there`s going to be. It`s going to be some very, very interesting times in Washington. Oddly enough, the Democrats control the Senate by, you know, three over 50, six more Democrats in the Senate than Republicans. They still control the presidency. So, it`s going to make for some very interesting --
BEHAR: Yes.
CARVILLE: Meetings, clashes, compromises, you name it.
BEHAR: You famously said Jim during the Clinton years, I believe, it was your phrase "it`s the economy, stupid." Do you think that if the economy were good, we`d be in this situation right now with the --
CARVILLE: Well, no. I mean, you know, it would be different. Yes, (INAUDIBLE) I don`t know how much. I also think Democrats had a bad message. I think a bad economy and a bad message equal a bad election squared. But, you know, the economy is what it is. And we`re going to have to live in it for awhile.
BEHAR: So, Erick, maybe, anybody would have failed during a bad economy.
ERICKSON: Well, yes, people would fail during a bad economy by and large, but you know, the president historically the party of the White House always loses seats. Bush has been kind of anomalous in 2002 and then in 2004 to not lose significantly. But they have this happened, I think -- and not just have happened in the federal level, too.
The 19 state legislative bodies have flipped to the Republicans, a majority of governorships that were up last night have flipped to the Republicans, municipal and county races. It`s really staggering the size of it. So, Republicans voters were definitely responding to something that they really didn`t like, and I think it had more than just the economy.
BEHAR: Well, we held on -- the Democrats held on to the Senate, that partly because they put up a couple of crazies over there on the right. I mean, you had Sharron Angle and Christine O`Donnell.
ERICKSON: You had Sharron Angle, you had Christine O`Donnell who ultimately weren`t great candidates. I`m not sure anyone could have beat Harry Reid given the millions of dollars thrown. First at Sue Lowden when it looked like she was going to be the Republican nominee and then Sharron Angle.
(CROSSTALK)
CARVILLE: She raised $14 million in a month.
ERICKSON: Yes, she did.
CARVILLE: You can`t defend yourself with $14 million in one month? I mean the idea, I disagree. I think that they found the single one person in the entire state of Nevada that couldn`t beat Senator Reid.
(LAUGHTER)
CARVILLE: They got the needle in the hay stack.
ERICKSON: I think anyone would have had a tough time beating Harry Reid. I mean, look at what he did to Sue Lowden when she was the Republican nominee which is why Sue Lowden wasn`t the Republican nominee. But then you did have Christine O`Donnell in Delaware, who I think everyone -- Alvin Greene is South Carolina got more votes against Jim DeMint than Christine O`Donnell got running against Chris Coons in Delaware.
BEHAR: She`s not really a witch we know that. Now --
(CROSSTALK)
CARVILLE: I think Washington state will end up in a Democratic column. Look, we had some, you know, the candidates matter. Would cast with one in Delaware? Of course -- would another kind of Republican have won in Nevada? I wouldn`t have -- I don`t think Senator Reid would have want to try. Sue Lowden, I think, they did everything they could to get -- ERICKSON: Lowden was fundamentally a weak candidate with Republicans which would have hurt her in the general election even going against Harry Reid. I actually, you now, I think it says something neither Jim DeMint nor I backed Angle in the primary. I was a Tarkanian guy. He states --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: The Democrats going to keep Reid as the Majority Leader or they`re going to try and get him out?
CARVILLE: I think he`s pretty popular, but you know, I mean, who knows.
ERICKSON: The two guys who would challenge Durbin and Schumer released a joint statement this afternoon, and they`re standing behind him 100 percent which means he better watch out.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: You know, let me ask you something --
CARVILLE: I think, I don`t think they have the votes. One of the things, Senator Reid is popular in that caucus. They like him. You don`t have votes you can`t do anything.
BEHAR: Let me ask you a question at Republican. There seems to be a schism in the Republican Party between the Karl Rove type of the elite, smarties and what he thinks are the dummies in the party. He says, this is his notion, not mine.
ERICKSON: Yes, you know --
BEHAR: Who`s going to win that one?
ERICKSON: I think there is, and ultimately, I think it`s the Washington guys are going to have to become closer to the grassroots. When you look what happened when compared to the National Republican Congressional Committee which handles House races to the guys who handles Senate races, after the House guys got beat up in New York 23 in 2009 (INAUDIBLE), they just stood back and said, you know what, you state guys, you pick your candidates.
The Republicans and the Senate, they went out, they picked Charlie Crist, the Republicans revolted. Then, they went to California and they picked Carly Fiorina, the Republicans revolted. And they kept doing it and doing it and doing it. They haven`t learned the lesson that, you know, sometimes, you need to let the people in their own state pick their candidate.
CARVILLE: And they picked Christine O`Donnell, and they picked Sharron Angle, and they picked Joe Miller.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: We`ll be right back. Talk amongst yourselves. That`s all right.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: OK. We`re right back with James Carville and Erick Erickson. You know, John Boehner, I call him boner, OK, because that`s how it looks to me B-O-E-H-N-E-R says boner. OK. He`s going to replace Nancy Pelosi? Will he be a good speaker, do you think, Erick? And what was the crying about? What was all the crying he did?
ERICKSON: You know, this is a guy who was born pretty much in poverty and now is going to be Speaker of the House of Representatives. I think that pretty much was an emotional moment for him.
BEHAR: Didn`t he cry when he won the congressman in the first place? Why not cry there?
ERICKSON: Maybe so, but I mean, to be Speaker of the House, third line in the presidency after growing up in a bar that your dad ran is a pretty big deal. I think he`s going to be an interesting speaker in that unlike Denny Hastert as speaker or some of the other guys. He`s an experienced hand more so than Hastert who was a fluke speaker because of what happened to Gingrich and Livingston and the others.
BEHAR: Oh the contract on America, yes.
CARVILLE: I don`t know if anybody`s kind of prepared for this new crowd that`s coming to Washington. These people are, we`re going to be treated to -- we`re going to meet some very, very interesting people. We`ve already -- Christine O`Donnell and Sharron Angle are not coming to Washington. There`s a little part of me would have liked to have seen them.
BEHAR: No, only Christine. Only Christine. Christine is harmless, the other one is not.
CARVILLE: All right. OK. Well, she had a way of saying that, asking the Latino kids, aren`t you Asian? I mean, that`s pretty good.
BEHAR: You can`t write that stuff.
(LAUGHTER)
CARVILLE: I think that Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky is going to provide us with, you know, -- Louisiana we have a saying, and we said, if you`re going to steal from us, at least make us laugh. And I say in politics, if you`re going to beat us, at least entertain us, and man, they`re entertaining us. I think we have major league entertainment coming to was Washington.
ERICKSON: Rand Paul will be the biggest thorn in the -- I think he`ll be a bigger thorn in the Republican side than the Democrat side because where he aligns on some of these issues with the Democrats on war --
BEHAR: Now, what they want to repeal the health care bill? This is a waste of time. Obama is going to veto it anyway. Why are they going to waste their time now for two years?
ERICKSON: For two years incite and enrage the base and get them back out to vote in 2012, unless, they can do something --
BEHAR: So, it`s all about getting Obama out of office now like Mitch McConnell says. It`s not about fixing the country?
CARVILLE: They`re going to try to win the election.
ERICKSON: Yes, they`re going to try to win.
CARVILLE: So are we, I hope.
BEHAR: Well, what about, let me ask you something a lot of people talk about Hillary Clinton on the ballot with Obama in 2012. What do you think of that?
CARVILLE: A lot of people talk about a lot of things. You know, (INAUDIBLE) but that doesn`t mean they`re doing anything about it.
BEHAR: I know. Well, just give me your opinion because you know them both very well.
CARVILLE: I don`t think that there`s any inclination. I think we ought to do other than like switch around somebody who`s running for vice president. I`m curious to see how the president is going to adapt to this, how is he going to adjust to it, what`s he can do with the White House staff --
BEHAR: He looked sad today.
CARVILLE: If he would have been anything but sad, I would have questioned his humanity or sanity.
BEHAR: It`s funny. Boehner starts crying from happiness, and they`re the one --
ERICKSON: Boehner.
BEHAR: OK. Boehner. I`ll say Boehner from now on. Out of respect, I will.
CARVILLE: When you win in an election, you feel good. When you lose, you feel sad. I`m curios to say what`s going to happen to economic thing. What`s going to happen these people because --
BEHAR: Will they be fired?
CARVILLE: Interesting. Maybe, they`ll just resign. Maybe, they`ll decide to pursue --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Didn`t Reagan do that in the middle?
ERICKSON: Come back to 2006, I mean, the issue that really got the Republicans out in their mind at the time was the war, the day after the election Rumsfeld fired, why, why not bring Tim Geithner out, and they said, guess what, we have a new treasury secretary.
CARVILLE: We don`t know -- you know, give it until tomorrow. We don`t know.
BEHAR: Thank you very much, you guys, very much for coming and thank you all for watching. Goodnight, everybody.
END
