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Joy Behar Page
Extreme Dieting; Designer Babies
Aired December 30, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Women in Hollywood will do almost anything to stay skinny. Some will only eat things without a face. Others won`t eat anything with eyes. Still others won`t eat anything with four legs. So what`s left a two-legged blind potato?
Now which crazy celebrity diets really work? That`s the question. Which don`t and which can really hurt you? Here to discuss this are Tracy Anderson, fitness expert, whose clients includes include Gwyneth Paltrow and Courteney Cox, and she is also the author of "30-Day Method"; Keri Glassman, registered dietician and "Women Health`s" contributor; and Dawn Yanek, Editor-at-Large for "Life and Style Weekly".
OK ladies. First of all Tracy, you work with Gwyneth and she is on a -- supposedly, this is the information I have -- a strict macrobiotic diet and a heavy exercise regime for many years and she`s been diagnosed with osteopenia. Tell me about it.
TRACY ANDERSON, FITNESS EXPERT: OK. Well first of all, I think the part that`s that most hilarious to me is the macrobiotic. She hasn`t been macrobiotic for five years.
In fact I love to eat more than anything. And she is my favorite person to eat with. She`s an amazing chef. She doesn`t cut off food groups. In fact, stinky cheese on the best bread in the world is one of her favorite snacks. So I mean she`s not macrobiotic.
BEHAR: So she`s eating dairy.
ANDERSON: Yes, she eats. You know it`s interesting --
BEHAR: But it`s very unusual for a 37-year-old girl to have osteopenia.
ANDERSON: Well you know and there are many cultures like you know in Japan that are not heavy into dairy. And they don`t have, you know, any kind of vitamin D deficiencies. She - you know, people have that for many different reasons. But it`s not from her food.
BEHAR: What`s it from, is it genetic?
ANDERSON: You know I think a lot of it is genetic. You know I mean she breaks things easily and so does her mom.
BEHAR: Well I was reading something different. But I guess you know better because you train her. Although she`s not --
ANDERSON: I train her and she`s also my partner and one of my dearest friends.
BEHAR: What do you mean she`s your partner?
ANDERSON: Well she`s a partner in my gyms and DVDs and everything. So because when she first started this with me she loved it so much. She`s the kind of girl that`s, like, every woman has to have this solution.
BEHAR: I see.
ANDERSON: So we do it together.
BEHAR: But she took a break to have kids. She follows a less intense version now. But she still doesn`t eat a lot of dairy. They`re saying that because you don`t eat dairy, you can`t -- the vitamin D deficiency disallows you from absorbing the calcium into your bones. She should be eating more dairy. How about some yogurt?
ANDERSON: Well she`s getting some sun. She`s not opposed to eating dairy. She does eat dairy though.
BEHAR: I don`t think the sun will do the calcium thing --
ANDERSON: She does eat dairy though.
BEHAR: OK, listen, her doctor --
ANDERSON: But she does exercise six days a week.
BEHAR: Well how many hours a day?
ANDERSON: Well, I believe in exercising every day obviously. And she does a minimum of 45 minutes six days a week. But if we can get a full workout in then we do, you know, 40 minute of muscular structural work and 40 minutes of aerobics.
BEHAR: Why can`t I get addicted to exercise?
ANDERSON: I can get you addicted to exercise. The results -- it`s because the results aren`t there.
BEHAR: The only exercise I like is horseback riding because you can sit.
ANDERSON: That`s not -- you`re going to bulk your thighs up. You`re hilarious.
KERI GLASSMAN, CONTRIBUTOR, "WOMEN`S HEALTH": We have to find something you enjoy doing. That will get you interested.
ANDERSON: -- results.
BEHAR: All right now Jessica Simpson is another one. Dawn we`ll see what you have to say. She shocked her system with a vegan diet, Chinese tea and cupping. What is cupping is that like leaches?
DAWN YANEK, EDITOR-AT-LARGE, "LIFE AND STYLE WEEKLY": It is when you, I think, you take a heated cup and it pulls toxins out of your body; a lot of celebrities kind of jumped on that trend a few years ago.
I mean I think the thing that we see time and time again at "Life and Style Weekly" is that celebrities and regular people want things. And they want them immediately.
Now there`s a super healthy way, of course, to have a vegan diet, but whether or not Jessica is following that, I think that`s what`s up for debate.
And then you see a lot of young girls looking at this and saying, oh wait, maybe I should jump on this bandwagon too. And maybe aren`t getting all of the information.
BEHAR: Right. I see. So it could be dangerous to follow -- you know, just blindly follow it.
YANEK: Oh absolutely.
BEHAR: Yes, very bad.
Now you developed Tracy -- is it Tracy?
GLASSMAN: Keri.
BEHAR: I`m sorry, Tracy is the one who developed the so-called baby food diet. Now what is up with that?
ANDERSON: The baby food diet. First of all, I`m doing a lot for the baby food industry, apparently people are running out and buying jars of baby food. It`s not baby food. It`s that I don`t believe in liquid cleanses. And I saw women who want quick results.
BEHAR: Well what is the baby foot diet?
ANDERSON: OK well, I take a lot of nutrients, you know, that you can -- in a consumable portion. And instead of purifying it, so that you don`t get that -- not purifying it -- instead of juicing it, so you don`t get the you know, the digestive benefits, the fiber and everything, I just puree it down to you know a consumable.
BEHAR: But you`re not calling -- that`s baby food.
ANDERSON: It`s not baby food.
BEHAR: If you take a t-bone steak and you put it in the blender and you puree it. And you don`t have to have teeth to eat it, that is baby food.
ANDERSON: Well possibly. I guess but I`m telling you, that you get to eat 14 times a day. You get to eat chocolate on it. It`s not baby food though.
BEHAR: Wait, wait, wait -- go ahead. Let me ask Keri. Isn`t that dangerous also to have? My goodness, who would eat that?
GLASSMAN: All of these types of plans whether it`s the baby food, or macrobiotic or vegan, they are plans that can be extreme and unhealthy or they can all be healthy. And what it comes down to, whatever lifestyle you are living, whether you`re vegan or whether you are macrobiotic, whatever type of plan you are doing, you need to do it in a responsible way.
There are obviously some things out there like the master cleanse or some very extreme plans that actually are healthy for no one. But there are many life styles out there that when you are a responsible vegan and when you are -- when you do live certain life styles in a responsible way, where you are diligent, or you do make sure you get in all the different nutrients and/or supplement with other with vitamins and minerals, when needed, you can be extremely healthy on many of these types of lifestyles.
BEHAR: But who would want a diet of baby -- of pureed food all day long?
ANDERSON: Well when you -- sorry.
GLASSMAN: I was going to say that --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Jump in, that`s all right. You girls need to pretend you`re on "The View". Just jump in.
GLASSMAN: When people -- some of the reason why people did it I think, sometimes if I want to -- some people they have tried to do it because, OK, let me just eat these little portions throughout the day. It becomes just a matter of portion control. You can lose weight through portion control; eating anything, whether it`s unhealthy or healthy.
BEHAR: So why do celebrities do that -- why do they have to do cupping and --
(CROSSTALK)
YANEK: You`re trying to get yourself into what works for you, I think. The problem is it`s a fad in the end. And really, you have to eat less, move more. That`s the bottom line. When you do that, you lose weight. But when you do these fad diets, you lose inches really, really quickly. Things like the master cleanse, you know there are no nutrients in that.
(CROSSTALK)
ANDERSON: It`s ridiculous.
(CROSSTALK)
YANEK: Cayenne pepper, lemon juice -- water --
(CROSS TALKING)
BEHAR: According to what I understand it`s maple syrup, lemon, water, and cayenne pepper. That can made me jump out of my brassiere -- cayenne pepper and maple syrup. Yummy.
(CROSSTALK)
GLASSMAN: You can probably last one hour on that. Probably one hour, maybe
YANEK: But Beyonce lost about 20 pounds for her role in "Dream Girls" on the master cleanse.
GLASSMAN: And that really when it became popular, it`s just too low, obviously. There is not enough calories, there`s not any -- there`s no protein, there is no healthy fat, no fiber, no vitamins and minerals.
(CROSSTALK)
ANDERSON: And when you watch a celebrity like that, you know, lose weight for a role and then you watch them bounce back and gain twice as much, it`s exactly why you know I came up with this cleanse because people do need to get unhealthy weight off but it`s got to be sustainable.
BEHAR: Right.
GLASSMAN: And if you can`t stigmatize yourself into I can only eat this, I`m never eating bread again. Then you develop allergies to that. The second you have bread, you have like bread face. You know it`s not OK to do that.
BEHAR: You know, that`s another thing; I want to talk about allergies, food allergies, these alleged food allergies. I think that some people are tricking themselves into thinking they have a food allergy to lose weight? All of a sudden, everybody has a disease.
(CROSSTALK)
GLASSMAN: Absolutely -- everybody wants to be dairy-free. Everybody can say I can`t eat wheat and I can`t eat dairy. There are some people out there that actually it is not great for them.
ANDERSON: Sure.
GLASSMAN: But many people just do it for the --
BEHAR: Every nutritionist, if you go to them for consultation, they`ll say you`re allergic to wheat.
GLASSMAN: No. I do not tell anybody that unless they are truly allergic. I actually tell them -- I actually tell them chances are you are absolutely not allergic to that. You probably, when you eat three loaves of bread, yes, you are going to gain weight and it`s not really good for your stomach.
BEHAR: OK, the cleanse is unhealthy, you will gain it all back.
YANEK: Yes.
GLASSMAN: Usually you will gain back more actually. There are people who do extreme diet --
(CROSSTALK)
YANEK: It`s a shock to your system. That`s what Jessica Simpson is talking about.
BEHAR: It`s a shock to your system.
YANEK: Right.
GLASSMAN: Well what happens is usually when you go extremely low calories, then when your body gains weight back, you gain back actually more weight and you gain back more fat. You lose lean muscle mass and then you gain back more.
YANEK: It`s true, it`s true.
GLASSMAN: And then it`s harder to lose the next time around because you have more muscle mass that burns less calories then you`re lean body mass.
BEHAR: I see. And isn`t that true also of exercise? Like you keep doing 45 minute a day. Now she goes into menopause, Gwyneth, let`s say, and she can`t keep that going. She`s going to have to do an hour and a half a day.
ANDERSON: That`s why I developed -- what I did is I`ve spent 11 years developing, I own 3,000 moves. And the largest bank of content in fitness ever.
BEHAR: You own 3,000 moves?
ANDERSON: I created them all originally.
BEHAR: I didn`t know you could copyright a move.
ANDERSON: You can copyright a method.
(CROSS TALKING)
Anderson: But the reason why I came up with it was because in fitness that`s why women trend hop just like they diet hop because you`ll notice something new in the beginning because your muscles are doing something different and then all of sudden, you plateau.
BEHAR: Right.
ANDERSON: So you go to the next trend and the next trend. All those trends have different outcomes. And the reason why is because the small muscle groups they are the key. But they get smart fast, strong fast and stupid fast. So I knew I needed an enormous bank of content with the same outcome to change people.
BEHAR: OK now.
Let`s go to Jennifer Hudson and Snooki. Snooki is on the cookie diet, either that or cookie`s on the Snooki diet, we are not sure. But how about the cookie diet?
GLASSMAN: That`s the absolute most ridiculous thing. I mean that really is, just -- again, all that is portion control. But now you`re using a food that`s not even a whole real food to lose weight. You are better -- obviously you could have portion control of broccoli, you could have portion control of a nice round great proportioned meals of broccoli, some salmon and a sweet potato and lose weight as well.
It`s just an easy quick fix way for people to honestly put no work into it and just control portions.
BEHAR: Right.
GLASSMAN: And then what happens is what, it`s not sustainable. And again, you are going to gain more weight back. And it`s all a big package -- because I think the ingredient list is like a book long and if the ingredient -- if the ingredient list looks like this, there`s a big problem.
BEHAR: Right, yes, yes.
YANEK: And I don`t think we should be taking diet advice from Snooki, or any advice for that matter. We`re probably in a bad place if we`re there.
BEHAR: Exactly.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: I like the parasite diet. I enjoy that. You can eat your entire lawyer. Ok ladies, thank you.
Up next, a Web site matches beautiful people`s sperm and eggs with perspective parents. I`ll speak with the site`s founder and a look at the designer baby craze.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Every parent wants a beautiful baby. But what if you could increase your chances of having a good-looking kid? BeautifulPeople.com, an extremely selective dating Web site is now offering a fertility forum that hooks up attractive sperm and egg donors with prospective parents. Hey, I`ve got two eggs left boys, let the bidding begin.
With me now to discuss are Greg Hodge, U.S. managing director of BeautifulPeople.com and Arthur Caplan, director, Center for Bioethics, the University of Pennsylvania.
Ok Greg, let`s start with you.
GREG HODGE, U.S. MANAGING DIRECTOR, BEAUTIFULPEOPLE.COM: Hi. Hi, Joy.
BEHAR: How did this idea -- hi. How did the idea for the fertility forum come about?
HODGE: Beautiful People is the largest community in the world of attractive people and it`s based on one fundamental principle of human nature and that is -- we all at least initially want to be with someone we find attractive.
Now, since going global in 2009, we have been receiving numerous requests from fertility clinics wanting to advertise on our site and trying to secure our members` genetic donations.
Now, we were very surprised by this, a little taken aback but after looking into it more close, we realized two things.
One, there is a global shortage worldwide of sperm and egg donors, in part, due to failed government legislation in many markets around the world. And number two, one of the strongest prerequisites that recipients want in their donors is attractiveness.
BEHAR: Well, what`s so wrong with just average anyway, Greg? I mean, so -- or ugly even? Does that leave Einstein out? If he were here today, you wouldn`t take his sperm or this place that takes this sperm wouldn`t take it?
HODGE: Well, look -- we`re certainly not trying to corner the market on beauty here. We certainly encourage Mensa to offer -- open their database of bright and brilliant people.
Look, Joy, I think that the fundamentals here are if you have a child, you`re going to -- advantaged or disadvantaged, parents are going to love their child and look after it regardless. They`ll move heaven and earth for that child. That`s rooted in our very instinctive nature, that of survival.
But in the same respect, if you`re a single woman or a couple unable to conceive a child, you`re going to want to secure every advantage for that child as well. And like it or not, attractiveness is an advantage in our day and age.
BEHAR: It is. But it doesn`t necessarily mean that they`re attractive and smart. So you may -- sometimes you have to pick.
HODGE: No. But let`s -- let`s -- we can`t be that general; I mean, that`s like saying all ugly people are rocket scientists and wonderfully charming and quite brilliant. Unfortunately, the world doesn`t work like that.
BEHAR: Yes, well.
Art, let me ask you something. Is picking donors on looks alone really that shallow? Or are these parents just being honest about what they want?
ARTHUR CAPLAN, DIRECTOR, CENTER FOR BIOETHICS, UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA: I think they may be being honest about what they want. I think it`s going to win a lot of points on the shallowness scale.
I think at the end of the day, you might initially meet people and say, how do they look? I have no doubt that we`re capable of that level of shallowness. But I think people want ultimately to get a smart, athletic, healthy, kid.
And when I talk to parents really who are about to have a kid. You know what they say? Healthy, healthy, healthy.
BEHAR: And all -- they always count the toes and count the fingers. You want the children to be healthy mainly.
CAPLAN: Exactly.
BEHAR: That`s it.
And also, you know something, Greg, looks can be overrated. Two words, Dan Quayle. Dan Quayle, ok? Ok, I`m sorry, Art. Go ahead.
CAPLAN: I was going to say one other thing.
BEHAR: Ok.
CAPLAN: You know, you might -- you might look at Greg`s thing and say, well, if they want good-looking and they have good-looking donors they`ll produce good-looking kids. Anybody looked at their family members lately?
BEHAR: Exactly.
CAPLAN: I mean the same genes and the same combinations do not produce --
HODGE: I -- I`ll like to jump in here.
BEHAR: I`ll let you jump in. Go ahead Greg.
HODGE: With all due respect to your esteemed guest, Joy, look, of course, we all -- we`ve all been to people`s houses, beautiful couples who have had a child and we`ve left and gone, damn, that skipped a generation. We say that behind closed doors.
But let`s look at this honestly. If we had -- as a parent to be, if we had a choice between a genetic donation from say, Brad Pitt or Shrek, we`re certainly going to play the odds and roll with the Pitts.
BEHAR: A cartoon figure? Why did you pick Shrek? It`s a cartoon figure?
CAPLAN: Well, you might play that, but I would submit, you`re having a contest between who`s got the best fashion, who`s got the most money and who`s got the best plastic surgeon.
Moreover, you want to set -- you want a kid for models? How about the association with bulimia and anorexia or depression?
Playing this card is just silliness in terms of the genetics of beauty. It doesn`t work that way. You have to know that.
(CROSS TALKING)
BEHAR: I mean it sort of -- it has set -- wait a minute, wait a minute Greg. It has a little bit of a scent of eugenics, which we saw in Nazi Germany. You know, I mean it does have that weird feel.
HODGE: Ok, Joy --
BEHAR: Yes.
HODGE: -- Joy, let me say that that`s ridiculous. Beautiful people - -
BEHAR: Hey, it`s my show.
HODGE: Anyone can apply -- anyone can apply to Beautiful People, regardless of race, color, creed, religion. We`re in 190 countries around the world. We represent every single ethnicity. I think people are trying to see the devil in the painting here. And I can assure you, there is none.
There`s a -- and what`s happening with all this screaming -- everyone on their moral high horse and screaming ethics from the sideline is the important people. The single women, the couples unable to conceive children that are on waiting lists for two years.
Our members have come forward. It`s a deeply emotive, generous, charitable gift. It`s the gift of life and health. If a beautiful --
BEHAR: Ok.
HODGE: -- if a beautiful family is created from it, then it is as it should be.
CAPLAN: And that`s great. It`s great. It just sits completely on bogus science. Beauty is not inherited that way. I`m going to come back and say it again. Check out a family that both has beautiful -- beautiful people as parents. Look at the tiny differences that determine beauty from that, it`s not all genes.
BEHAR: They could look like the ugly -- ugly uncle, is what he`s saying. And what if the kid -- what if the kid turns out ugly, can you return the kid?
(CROSSTALK)
HODGE: Look, like I said, the beauty in Mother Nature is that we`re going to love our child regardless --
BEHAR: Ok. All right. Thank you guys very much.
We`ll be back in a minute.
HODGE: Thank you very much.
BEHAR: Ok.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: With me to talk about the trend of designer babies is "Millionaire Matchmaker" Patti Stanger. Hey Patti, what is the obsession with not only good-looking people wanting to hook up with each other, but also because there are sites like that -- but also to have designer babies, beautiful babies only?
PATTI STANGER, "MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER": Well, it`s pro-creating, like the Aryan race. You want to look perfect all the time, not age. So should your children. Who wants an ugly baby?
BEHAR: Well, nobody does. But you know it`s a very relative thing. Like, if you have a baby with your husband and you`re nice-looking people, nothing gorgeous, you say, what a beautiful baby I have.
STANGER: Even if it`s ugly, like that Seinfeld episode. I mean seriously -- I mean you think about it? Sometimes the two pretty people make the ugly baby.
BEHAR: That could happen.
STANGER: It`s scary. The gene pool gets messed up.
BEHAR: Some part of me enjoys that idea.
STANGER: I know. It`s sad. They get the fatty one and they`re both skinny.
BEHAR: It`s like, too bad about you. You wanted them to be beautiful, well, they`re not.
What do you make of these sites where only beautiful people meet other beautiful people?
STANGER: Beautifulpeople.com is kind of scary because they rate you based on your picture. So your picture has got to be amazing, air brushed, the whole thing. And if you don`t make the cut, they won`t let you on the site. It`s really scary. It`s a very narcissistic club, so to speak.
BEHAR: I`ll say. But you have -- people lie all the time on those sites. They lie about their age. They air brush, as you just said. They give themselves hair that they didn`t have.
STANGER: And most likely, they`re not real people. They`re like putting someone else`s picture and pretending that there are -- there`s no screening process to it.
BEHAR: What good is that? Then you go to the lunch and see that the person is facia brute (ph) -- then what happens?
Do you know what facia brute is?
STANGER: I don`t know what it is but I can imagine. What is it?
BEHAR: It`s an ugly, ugly face.
STANGER: Ugly face --
BEHAR: Facia -- face; brute -- ugly. Facia brute.
STANGER: Facia brute.
BEHAR: So what happens then? You go to have lunch and it`s like, excuse me, it`s Ernest Borgnine?
STANGER: A lot of times -- a lot of times they don`t meet. They live on the hiding society where all they do is e-mail like a penthouse service. That`s how they like to get their rocks off and they go like this behind the door.
BEHAR: Oh, I see. It does sort of smell like eugenics to me.
STANGER: Yes.
BEHAR: I don`t like the way it sounds.
STANGER: Well, it`s going into that cloning thing where you are going to make the perfect person and never going to have any disease. And they`re going to never grow old, the Dorian Gray syndrome, the whole thing.
BEHAR: Do they really believe that you can stay beautiful forever and ever?
STANGER: Madonna does.
BEHAR: You think so. How does she do that?
STANGER: She -- I mean that girl is working it. I don`t know what her doctor is. I think she goes to your doctor, Dr. Brandt. Right?
BEHAR: Yes.
STANGER: She`s like doing everything that --
BEHAR: I don`t know if she does that. I know nothing.
STANGER: Rumor is it`s Dr. Brandt and God bless Madonna because she`s my poster girl -- it`s like those arms, man --
BEHAR: That has nothing to do with the dermatologist.
STANGER: No. It`s probably HGH.
BEHAR: You mean the growth hormone? Why would she take that -- they`re not growing?
STANGER: Because she works out -- she`s a machine. She loves to work out; she wants to be perfect. I can understand that. Aging is not fun. Cher says it all the time. It`s the worst experience in the world, you know. Nobody wants to get that old and that wrinkly and not look attractive.
BEHAR: I know. But there`s an obsession. You know, Chinese don`t feel that way about old people. They revere their old people.
STANGER: The Asian don`t age.
BEHAR: Yes, they do. They do. They age. What about wisdom and growing old and being smarter than everybody else?
STANGER: Not in California.
BEHAR: Not in California.
This is a depressing topic. I`d like to thank Dr. Brandt anyway.
STANGER: We love Dr. Brandt.
BEHAR: Catch "Millionaire Matchmaker" Tuesday nights at 10:00 on Bravo. And the new season starts in October.
Up next, I`ll talk with two women who didn`t know they were pregnant until they were actually giving birth. Really?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I thought, what? Pregnant?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No way.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was not getting a period still, so I took two pregnancy tests, and they both resulted negative, and I, as a scientist, just depended on those results and said, it`s negative. It`s right there. Then, it was like oh, my gosh. Can there`s beat in my stomach?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was a clip from the TLC show "I didn`t know I was pregnant." Guess what the show is about? How does a woman carry a baby to full term and not realize she`s pregnant until she`s practically giving birth? Here now to discuss this are Dr. Marc Calan, a fertility specialist, Ca Sondra Gutierrez, a teacher`s aide who gave birth to her daughter in her parent`s bathroom, and Jennifer Lynes, a microbiologist who thought the bump in her belly was a tumor. Sondra, let`s start with your story. Tell me what happened and when you found out you were pregnant.
CA SONDRA GUTIERREZ, FEATURED ON "I DIDN`T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT": Well, I actually found out the day I was giving birth to my son. I don`t know how this could happen. I mean, I was at home, I was feeling sick, I had cramps. They were just really bad, and I thought I was just going to start my menstrual cycle, and I go into the bathroom, and 5:30 in the morning, I`m having my son.
BEHAR: In the bathroom.
GUTIERREZ: In the bathroom.
BEHAR: Aha. Well, at what point did you actually realize a baby is coming out of my body?
GUTIERREZ: I actually thought it was a tumor. In my parents` bathroom, we have mirrors all over, and so, I actually thought it was a tumor that I was having. When I saw that he was starting to crown, I seen black, and it was his hair, but at the moment, I didn`t know it was his hair. I still was convinced it was a tumor. I was passing a tumor, but I know -- the second his head came out, that`s when I knew.
BEHAR: I`m not sure that that`s medically possible to pass a tumor. I don`t know if it comes out of you, but anyway --
GUTIERREZ: I didn`t know either.
BEHAR: All right. But then you -- the baby then, I believe, I heard, I read in the research that the baby went into the toilet? You dropped the baby into the toilet?
GUTIERREZ: Yes, what happened --
BEHAR: What happened then?
GUTIERREZ: What happened was when I delivered him, I was really weak, and I couldn`t -- I knew I could not carry him to my mom. So, I ripped the umbilical cord apart from me, and I went and got my mom. I knew it was not physically possible that, for me to carry him. And so, I did what I thought was best for him, and I placed him in the toilet which had just a little bit of water, and I went and got my mom.
BEHAR: Why didn`t you put him on a towel? Why did you put him in the toilet? I mean, he could have drowned, you know?
GUTIERREZ: Well, there was a little bit of water. I was scared that he would fall or, I mean, like roll around and --
BEHAR: Yes.
GUTIERREZ: I, yes.
BEHAR: You`re smiling and laughing because you -- why? You seem to be bemused by this.
GUTIERREZ: Well, because it`s just, I feel like it`s a miracle that nothing, honestly, really bad happened to him. I mean, I was a school teacher, and I was outside. I was playing with my kids. I was doing everything I shouldn`t have. I would play soccer with them, kick ball, and he turned out fine.
BEHAR: So, OK. I`m happy for you. You know, that`s good. That`s the good news. Jennifer, tell me, yours is a little different. What`s your story?
JENNIFER LYNES, FEATURED ON "I DIDN`T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT": My story is I had complained to my doctor because I couldn`t sleep on my stomach because I thought I had something going on. I took a couple tests, and the tests were negative. So, when I told him I couldn`t sleep on my stomach, he felt my stomach and could feel that something wasn`t right. He scheduled an ultrasound. So, I found out the day after Christmas, and then she was born three days later.
BEHAR: So, prior to that you had no concept that something actually was growing inside your body?
LYNES: No concept at all because I was actually a lot heavier person, and I think that when you`re a heavier person, you tend to not notice changes in your body and different placements of your body of itself. I didn`t even go up any clothes sizes or anything along those lines. I felt fine. I was working two jobs, playing softball, working out. I was doing all kinds of stuff that any normal person would do.
BEHAR: Didn`t you feel a baby kicking or anything like that?
LYNES: Absolutely none, and I even questioned several people that I knew were pregnant and said, well, how does it feel? What does it feel like? Would you really know? They said oh, yes. You`ll know. You`ll know.
BEHAR: Wow.
LYNES: And I didn`t feel anything.
BEHAR: So, you got weight gain, but you ignored that?
LYNES: Right. And I only gained it near the end.
BEHAR: What about the missed periods? Both of you, what about your missed menstrual cycle? What happened there, Ca Sondra?
GUTIERREZ: I didn`t miss periods. I had my period the whole time.
BEHAR: Really?
GUTIERREZ: So, I didn`t know. Yes.
BEHAR: Wow.
LYNES: I had missed mine.
BEHAR: That`s interesting.
LYNES: I had missed mine for several months.
BEHAR: So, what did you think?
LYNES: And when I called the doctors and explained that I switched to the birth control pill earlier that year, and then by October, I had stopped getting a period, and when I explained it, they said oh, you`re just one of those people that doesn`t get a period.
BEHAR: I see. Doctor, let me go to you. With all due respect to these ladies, these stories sound a little whacky. How could it be that a woman is pregnant for nine months? There`s something in there growing, a human being, and not know it? Tell me.
DR. MARC KALAN, FERTILITY SPECIALIST: Well, it`s extraordinary. There`s no question. I mean, there`s, you know -- this happens very rarely. There are four million babies were born in the United States last year, and this will happen, you know, a handful of times, but the way it happens is that pregnancy is variable from woman to woman and from pregnancy to pregnancy.
And so, all of the signs and symptoms we, you know, traditionally associate with it where there is nausea or weakening or feeling the baby moving, or missing periods, if a compilation of events occurs where, you know, maybe there isn`t as much weight gain or you had irregular periods and you don`t expect to get your period back or you don`t know what baby moving feels like and you don`t really expect to get pregnant, you know, it can happen. And, clearly, it has.
BEHAR: And neither one of you went for routine checkup in the nine months that you were pregnant. Just nothing was wrong with you, I guess, so you just didn`t check it out. A pap smear or something like that didn`t come up, so the timing was really -- so, doctor, do some women have symptoms -- do some people have some symptoms and they don`t know what it is or they think it`s pregnancy?
I mean, I can`t figure this out. I don`t really get it because you miss your period, there`s kicking, there`s vomiting. What about the vomiting? Talk to me about the vomiting.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I mean, I had morning sickness for three months, first three months, I was throwing up. I mean, I didn`t think it was just I was watching some bad TV show. Those are making me nauseous. I had a feeling, no, (ph) it could be something else. So, tell me about that, doctor. Why wouldn`t you pick it up there?
KALAN: You know, it`s quite variable. Not everyone has nausea. You know, people, women who are affected by morning sickness or severely affected by it feel like there is no question that they would know that, you know, this is a pregnancy, but, you know, there`s a lot of women out there who don`t have any morning sickness whatsoever.
BEHAR: I see.
KALAN: So again, it`s just the variation from pregnancy to pregnancy.
BEHAR: Interesting. That`s the good news and the bad news. No morning sickness. Hello. You have a baby. Now, you guys, Jennifer and Ca Sondra, let`s talk about -- you have the baby. Now, you have a baby. What did you do then?
LYNES: I moved back home.
BEHAR: As any intelligent woman would do.
LYNES: Yes. I said, there is no way I`m living on my own taking care of baby knowing for three days.
BEHAR: Where was the father of this baby?
LYNES: He was actually in town. I mean, we live in the same town, so it wasn`t like we were currently estranged at the time. So, he knew when I went to the hospital, I phoned him right away, and he was there the whole time. So, he was there for the delivery.
BEHAR: Child support?
LYNES: Absolutely.
BEHAR: He is?
LYNES: Yes.
BEHAR: So, he`s stepping up.
LYNES: Oh, yes, definitely.
BEHAR: How about you? What about you and your man and the shock of having a baby?
GUTIERREZ: We`re actually --
BEHAR: You got married?
GUTIERREZ: We`re actually engaged.
BEHAR: Oh, you`re engaged. That`s nice.
GUTIERREZ: Yes. He proposed to me at my work. We`re engaged. When I had my son, we were -- I was living at home with my mom, so, yes. We were living there.
BEHAR: What did he say when you said, hey, guess what?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What did he say? Either one of them?
LYNES: I was on the phone with mine, and he was like, what? Because we thought we had three months so he thought he had, we had some time to figure things out and what we were going to do and how we were going to handle the situation.
BEHAR: I see. So, you called him up and said I`m having a baby in nine minutes not nine months.
LYNES: Well, I said, I need to speak with you. I need to speak with you, and by the way, we`re having a baby soon, and then three days later, I had a baby.
BEHAR: And Ca Sondra, what did your future husband say to you?
GUTIERREZ: Well, I had my baby at 5:30 in the morning, and he didn`t find out until 7:30. My dad, actually, went to his house, picked him up. And he thought that I had an ulcer or something. He thought something had ruptured my spleen or something.
BEHAR: Who thought that?
GUTIERREZ: And so, when my dad took him -- my husband --
BEHAR: Your husband. You, too, just -- I love how the two of you just diagnose yourselves. You think you`re having a tumor that has hair on it. He thinks you`re just having this. I mean, how about going to a doctor?
(LAUGHTER)
GUTIERREZ: Yes.
BEHAR: OK. I`m sorry. I`m just teasing you.
GUTIERREZ: It`s OK.
BEHAR: So, doctor, are there any psychological effects to this like not knowing, and then all of a sudden, you have this baby? What are the effects of the -- the shock, psychologically?
KALAN: Well, you know, I mean, it`s like any huge change in a person`s life. Fortunately, people, women are pretty dynamic and pretty spastastic (ph). They`re able to adjust to big changes. And you know, there`s such a thing as a maternal instinct. I think both these women demonstrate that. They had these babies under these extreme circumstances and have adjusted pretty well. It seems like, you know, the babies are both doing really well. They`re cute.
BEHAR: Are the babies doing well? There was no thought of putting these babies up for adoption or anything like that?
LYNES: Oh, no.
GUTIERREZ: No way.
BEHAR: So, you have this baby now? Your only child, right?
LYNES: Yes.
BEHAR: And Ca Sondra, you have other children?
GUTIERREZ: No. This is my only child. My first.
BEHAR: This is your only?
GUTIERREZ: Yes.
BEHAR: You know what? It sounds great to me. Like you don`t even know you`re pregnant for nine months, how boring and annoying it is. You put on 20 pounds. Big deal. And then, boom! You have a baby! It`s the greatest thing.
LYNES: My boss came to my house. My boss didn`t believe me. She came to my house to see me.
BEHAR: She didn`t believe you.
LYNES: I don`t think she believed me because I`ve been working there for seven years.
BEHAR: Yes.
LYNES: And she came to my house.
BEHAR: I really want to congratulate both of you.
GUTIERREZ: Thank you.
BEHAR: And thanks very much for joining me tonight. "I Didn`t Know I was Pregnant" airs Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. on TLC. Back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: TLC is at it again. They just wrapped a new series called "Strange Sex." Sounds kinky. I wonder if the little people and the hoarders hook up.
(LAUGHTER)
Take a look at a clip featuring Hattie, a 74-year-old self-described cougar.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Adventuresome, unconventional, mature and magnificent. I`m a great dancer, and I`m great in bed. My name is Hattie, and I am the quintessential cougar.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Here now to discuss their interesting stories are Jaiya who is a polyamorphous relationship in one of those, whatever that is. I`m here to find out, Barbara Carrellas, a sex educator who can think herself into orgasm. I wonder if she thinks of Ben Bernanke like I do, and Hattie, the 74-year-old cougar. Welcome ladies to the show. Jaiya, let me start with you --
JAIYA, IN A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP: Hello. So good to be here.
BEHAR: Nice to meet you. What is a polyamorphous relationship exactly?
JAIYA: It`s polyamorous. You keep saying morphing.
BEHAR: Polyamorous.
JAIYA: Amorphous, amorous, you know, it`s just great to have both. You have it to morph in and out of love to different relationships, but polyamorous means many loves. So, I basically have two men that I am in partnership with, and it`s great because I get lots of support and lots of love.
BEHAR: I see. So, do you have to fake it with both of them?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: A lot of work baby.
JAIYA: I have a rule of never faking my orgasms. Never. What`s the point? I want pleasure.
BEHAR: I`m teasing you, but do they have sex with each other, these two guys?
JAIYA: They don`t. I get to be the center, so I get all the attention.
BEHAR: Oh, yes? So, they don`t do it with each other. How does it work? You do with one and then he plays scrabble on his iPad and then the other one comes in and you do it with him? Is that how it goes?
JAIYA: Well, usually not in the same day. We have a small child. I have a 16-month-old, so that does slow us down quite a bit. And we all have our own separate rooms. So, we also have a love loft that my partner, Ian and I share, and we go up there and have our special time together and John has his own room so when we find the time for intimacy within our relationships we each get date night and things like that.
And that`s one of the great things about there being three of us is that we have the time to spend to cultivate our relationships.
BEHAR: No one gets jealous?
JAIYA: No. We actually have a very harmonious relationship. There are times, I can say, where Ian has gotten jealous mostly around, you know, maybe a guy who has a better financial status than he does, and I have gotten triggered by women who don`t necessarily want a polyamorous relationship, but they`re unclear. And so, that`s where, sometimes, I can get a little jealous as when somebody is unclear about what they want.
BEHAR: I see. OK. Now, Barbara, I hear that you take a hands off approach to sex.
(LAUGHTER)
BARBARA CARRELLAS, LEARNED TO "THINK" HERSELF INTO ORGASMS: Sometimes, yes.
BEHAR: Explain that to me.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Explain that to me.
CARRELLAS: I do and I teach breath and energy orgasms.
BEHAR: OK.
CARRELLAS: Breath and energy orgasm.
BEHAR: I think Jaiya just had one.
(LAUGHTER)
JAIYA: Probably, I have them a lot.
BEHAR: But, Barbara has one without these two guys. She doesn`t need anybody to do it. Just do it yourself.
CARRELLAS: Breath and energy orgasms are orgasms you can have using your imagination and your breath.
BEHAR: What if you have breath?
(LAUGHTER)
CARRELLAS: If you`re doing it with yourself, that wouldn`t be a problem.
BEHAR: That`s true. So, how do you do it? Like, show me.
CARRELLAS: You imagine sexual energy coming up your body as you breathe it up of your body.
BEHAR: Oh, God. Oh, God. So, did you just have an orgasm?
CARRELLAS: It started.
BEHAR: Really?
CARRELLAS: Yes. It started.
BEHAR: Sorry to interrupt it.
CARRELLAS: You did.
JAIYA: I`m sorry. I didn`t mean to interrupt it.
CARRELLAS: I mean, there`s a quickie, but there`s just such a thing as can`t do it quite that fast.
BEHAR: How did you come up with this technique?
CARRELLAS: I was taught this technique during the AIDS crisis. I was looking for ways for people to practice more ecstatic, safer sex and want to practice safer sex, and this is one of the techniques I learned. It`s based on an ancient technique, Eastern Indian technique, but I learned it as a safer sex technique.
BEHAR: Why do I have the feeling that those eastern people had better sex than anybody in the west?
CARRELLAS: Well, they certainly know a lot more about sex than --
BEHAR: Yes.
CARRELLAS: Than we do in the west. Exactly. And I`ve read a lot of texts from the east and there`s been a lot more research done in the east in ancient times. They were further ahead hundreds of years ago than we are now.
BEHAR: I see that. So, now, is it better than doing it with a person?
CARRELLAS: You can do breath and energy orgasms with a person. In fact, they teach people how to do that. I`m even doing that this weekend here in New York.
BEHAR: Really?
CARRELLAS: You can do it with the person.
BEHAR: And what was the weirdest place you ever did it?
CARRELLAS: Inside that damn FMRI machine on TLCs "Strange Sex." I`m severely claustrophobic.
BEHAR: Yes.
CARRELLAS: So doing anything inside that FMRI machine except surviving is a challenge for me. So, if I can have a breath and energy orgasm inside that FMRI machine, I can have one anywhere.
BEHAR: Well, that might be a good technique because I`m claustrophobic. If I ever have to get in one of those, I could at least amuse myself with my own sexual behavior.
CARRELLAS: Exactly. That`s right.
JAIYA: Or try it in traffic.
CARRELLAS: Or try it in traffic, yes.
BEHAR: Try it in traffic. That`s good. I think it keeps your mind off of the tediousness of everything.
CARRELLAS: Exactly.
BEHAR: That is really good. All right. And on to you, Hattie. Now, you`re a 74-year-old woman. You got divorced in the 1980s after being married for 25 years. Is that when you became a cougar?
HATTIE, 74-YEAR-OLD COUGAR: Well, I actually became a cougar when I was named a cougar after Dolce and Gabbana ad. Now, I got divorced. We were both dancers. And when I first had sex with my husband, we had sex, he proposed marriage, so I said, well, this is the way you do it. I get divorced, and then I have with someone, and I`m waiting for them to propose marriage and they don`t.
BEHAR: I see.
HATTIE: So, I was a very slow learner or a slut.
BEHAR: Well, we`ll leave that to the audience to decide.
HATTIE: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: All right. We`re going to continue with this discussion in just a minute. Don`t go away. We`re all going to be saying, oh, God, together now.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with my panel. We`re talking about what some would consider their unusual sex life. I mean, Jaiya, are you planning to add more -- any more men to your group?
JAIYA: One of my partners always asks me how many boyfriends do you want? I don`t know. You know, if I can love one person, why not love many? There`s a quote that I love, if you can love five, love five. If you can love 50, love 50. So, more love to go around and love without limits.
BEHAR: OK. Well, if you like that. I mean, I, personally, don`t like crowds especially in my bed.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I really don`t.
HATTIE: You have to not spread yourself thin.
BEHAR: Oh.
JAIYA: Oh.
BEHAR: So, does it bother you at all that you`re called a cougar and polyamorous or whatever. That word is yours, but cougar, some people think it`s an insulting word, is it?
HATTIE: It could be. Anything can be insulting, but if you take on people`s assessment of you and you are pleased to hear what they have to say and share with you, then it`s just my way of showing love. I`m a dancer. I`m very physical. And so, my love is expressed sexually. Someone else can make cookies. That`s like really fine.
BEHAR: It`s really not the same.
HATTIE: Well, there are some good cookies around anyhow.
BEHAR: But you`re 74. What`s the youngest guy you`ve been with, let`s say, this year?
HATTIE: Well, 30, well he was 35. Now, he`s 36. Time marches on.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: So, 35.
HATTIE: Yes, dear.
BEHAR: Wow.
HATTIE: Now, the interesting thing is the whole concept of being an older woman who loves sex is very different from before. Joy, I used to have to like beg for sex. I loved it. I wanted it. So, I would pursue men. People think cougars pursue men. I don`t pursue men.
BEHAR: They come to you.
HATTIE: They come after me.
BEHAR: Was (EXPLETIVE DELETED). You should use Barbara`s technique. You don`t have to beg. You just do it yourself, right?
CARRELLAS: It`s a wonderful technique. The best thing about breath and energy orgasms is that you don`t have to choose. You can learn how to have a breath and energy orgasm and combine it with a genital orgasm and you get, shall we say, really serious bang for your book (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What if the guy you`re doing it with has asthma?
CARRELLAS: You know, I actually teach this technique to people with asthma. I teach them to breathe slightly differently.
BEHAR: Yes. I mean, but, it`s difficult if they`re like emphysema or asthma.
CARRELLAS: Actually, this breathing technique --
BEHAR: You could be causing their death while they`re enjoying themselves.
CARRELLAS: It actually is true.
BEHAR: What a way to die, she says.
CARRELLAS: It actually improves breath control and ability to breathe.
JAIYA: I can speak from experience.
BEHAR: Go ahead, Jaiya.
JAIYA: My partner, John, has asthma and we have energy sex all the time. We actually met at a workshop so exactly what Barbara is talking about.
CARRELLAS: Thank you, Jaiya.
JAIYA: We do breath and energy, and he has asthma, and it really actually helps him breathe better so we can have more sex.
BEHAR: Have you ever had a young guy -- let`s cross over. Would you like to do what she does?
HATTIE: I do that.
BEHAR: You would. You do it already.
HATTIE: Oh, sure. I do it already. Without touching myself, if you pulsate and you think of something really sexual --
BEHAR: What do you think of? What`s your favorite fantasy? Because mine I say is Ben Bernanke.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: The banking industry just gets me hot.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: But go ahead.
HATTIE: Well, I actually though I`m not inclined toward women, two women (EXPLETIVE DELETED) gets me off.
BEHAR: Really?
HATTIE: Aha.
BEHAR: Oh, heavy. You devil. And you?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What`s your fantasy when you`re trying to get yourself going? Jaiya, we know what yours is. Two guys. What`s yours?
CARRELLAS: Oddly enough, I start breathing, and I start turning into different kinds of animals usually snakes.
BEHAR: No kidding?
CARRELLAS: And that actually gets me off (ph).
BEHAR: All right. Well, let`s all breathe together and go out of this segment. Thanks for joining me tonight. The family of TLC`s "Strange Sex" airs Sunday at 10:00 p.m. Goodnight, everybody.
END
