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Joy Behar Page
Celebrity Custody Battles; Interview with Weird Al; Heart to Heart with Cheryl
Aired February 03, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: On her show, "Who Do You Think You Are", Lisa Kudrow traces celebrity`s genealogy. She`ll be here today. I think I`ll ask her to trace my genealogy. Who knows, I might be related to Leonardo da Vinci or Galileo or Arturo Toscanini or --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What about "The Situation"?
BEHAR: Ok, never mind.
The custody battle between Halle Berry and her ex-boyfriend is getting nastier by the day. His ex-girlfriend says Gabriel Aubry was borderline racist and another source connected to Halley tells TMZ that Aubry even once hurled the N word at the famous actress.
So is trashing your ex ever a good idea? Probably not especially when there`s a child involved.
Here now to discuss this are: Debra Opri, family law attorney; Amy Baker, psychologist and author of "Adult Children: A parental alienation syndrome"; and Joey Bartolomeo, senior writer for "People" magazine. Welcome to the show.
So this is Gabriel Aubry`s response to these accusations by these people. He says, "Gabriel refuses to air their issues in the press as he believes this may ultimately harm their daughter. The fact is that Gabriel is a caring father who shares custody. Halle`s continuing allegations in the press are untrue and irresponsible."
You know, Joey, I`ll talk to you. I thought these two were getting along.
JOEY BARTOLOMEO, "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE: Right, that`s what it seemed.
BEHAR: What happened?
BARTOLOMEO: Yes. I mean it seemed like they were -- they were spotted together a lot after they broke up with Nahla. It seemed like they were co-parenting. He was traveling to South Africa to be with her while she was on set.
And then things started to change according to sources we spoke with, around the time that Halle started dating Olivier Martinez. Things got more complicated.
They had this agreement worked out when each of them would see Nahla. And then you bring in other people and then things start to change.
BEHAR: There are many examples of nasty public custody battles. I can name a couple, Mel Gibson and -- what`s her name -- Grigorieva, Alec Baldwin and his wife ex-wife Kim, the Gosselins. I mean we can go back to Woody Allen, and also Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook. How does all this trashing affect the children?
AMY WALKER, AUTHOR, "ADULT CHILDREN": It`s never a good idea to bad mouth the other parent to the child or in public. If a parent has legitimate concerns for the safety and health of the child, there are avenues for addressing those concerns. The media is not one of those avenues.
BEHAR: It doesn`t ever work. It`s never a good idea.
WALKER: Well, it might work in terms of turning the child against the other parent. But that is not a good thing for the children.
BEHAR: Right. So, why do they do it?
WALKER: It`s very hard to share a child. Even in a good marriage it`s hard to share a child. The other parent doesn`t do things exactly how you want. You throw a divorce into the mix where there`s no incentive to try to work it out, all of a sudden the little flaws and quirks and idiosyncrasies that you lived with become very trying.
BEHAR: And also now -- you`re saying that there`s another guy thrown into the pot which probably aggravated him?
BARTOLOMEO: Right. And then Gabriel was dating Kim Kardashian very briefly in the fall. And Halle didn`t like that. She didn`t want her daughter around a reality TV star. Maybe she thought there would be cameras around.
But Nahla is only 2 years old, she`s not reading these things now that are coming out, but they could still be there.
BEHAR: No but the cameras can affect the child.
WALKER: She`s going to absorb, if her mother cringes or is repulsed by the dad, the child`s going to pick that up.
BEHAR: Right. Ok. Debra, let`s talk to you, how much of the claims against the other parent are actually true or -- what`s your experience with embellishments, for example?
DEBRA OPRI, FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY: Well, you know, Joy in a court of law when you sign declarations under penalty of perjury declaring that what you`re accusing the other party of is true, the judge, unless there`s other evidence saying this is not true is going to assume it is. But we have to remember, these are two parents and if Gabriel filed a paternity action, it means it`s gotten so bad in the communication and the dialogue of the parents that he has to seek court intervention.
What the judge is going to do is say, ok, assuming this is true, assuming that you both lost your temper, Mr. Aubry, you`ve used the N word, which is totally inappropriate, what was done in front of the child? They may be going to anger management classes. There may be a 730 evaluation to see the custody arrangement, what`s best for the emotional and physical needs of the child and health safety and welfare issues.
But in the end even though there may be control issues that Halle is asserting because she doesn`t like what the natural father is doing or not doing, he has equal rights. And in California, we have a push in the legislature for a 50/50 parenting plan. And this, I am guaranteeing is going to be in Gabriel`s best interest to say stay out of the press, I want my equal rights, I`m a good father. I`m her father --
BEHAR: But is it in Halle`s best interest?
(CROSSTALK)
WALKER: Well, the question is what`s in the child`s best interests.
OPRI: If I`m going to argue what`s in Halle`s best interests. I would say it`s inappropriate for him to be using the N word and losing his temper. But the court doesn`t want to know that. The court wants to know what`s happening in front of the child because that`s all they care about, not what they do between texting and voice mails.
BEHAR: But there is this thing with celebrities where they leak things to the press. I mean Mel Gibson, Alec Baldwin. Who knows who left -- leaked that message to his daughter, to the press. We still don`t know who did that. People have their suspicion it might have been his ex-wife, she had a motive.
WALKER: Some people say that`s as harmful to the child as whatever he did.
BEHAR: What about regular people, though. We`re talking about celebrities, I mean they can`t -- is Facebook now a weapon being used? Maybe Debra knows this. Is Facebook and Twitter --
OPRI: Yes, yes, yes.
BEHAR: Are those weapons being used by regular people too?
(CROSSTALK)
OPRI: Yes. It`s not good for the child because this child somewhere up the road, 10, 15 years from now is going to have full exposure to what is being said and what allegations are being made. And I would not want my daughter -- and I`m speaking on behalf of Halle right now to have heard a father say the N word about the mother or the child. It`s not appropriate.
The same respect for Gabriel, he has rights that a mother can`t arbitrarily say, you`re out of the picture because I don`t like how you`re dating and I don`t like how you`re speaking. . There`s a level of frustration and emotional angst, if I may, that the court is going to temper and shoot it down immediately by getting both of these people into counseling.
The fact that it`s in a courtroom, Joy, is not boding well for Halle at this point in time.
BEHAR: Right, right, right. But you know, Halle Berry`s kid is two years old as you point out. So she doesn`t know what`s going on.
What about a situation like the Gosselins? They were in a public custody dispute, trashing each other in the press. Those kids do hear it.
BARTOLOMEO: Those kids hear it and those kids have been having issues that Kate Gosselin herself has admitted to. The kids are having problems adjusting; a couple of her kids had to leave the school that they were in.
BEHAR: Is that because of the parents trashing each other in public or for other reasons? Because they were on television for so many months.
BARTOLOMEO: I mean it could be a lot of things. They have to sense the tension that was in the house.
WALKER: You know, in my research, I found that bad mouthing the other parent is just one of 17 primary strategies use that parents use to intentionally or otherwise manipulate a child to reject the other parent. Parents who are doing this are also limiting contact; they`re not having photographs of the other parent. They`re starting to refer to the other parent by first name. They`re withholding information about the child`s activities.
This all goes together under the term parental alienation, and it`s bad news for kids.
(CROSSTALK)
OPRI: She`s very correct in what she`s saying, Joy, because the first thing that`s going to be discussed is, with Halle Berry why didn`t you give the father a say in the school year? Why is there so much tension in the house? It takes two to tango.
And in a 730 evaluation in the state of California there`s going to be a psych evaluation. And this is not going to bode well for either parent.
BEHAR: No. They are a stunning couple, though, I must say.
WALKER: They are.
BEHAR: I mean look at them.
BARTOLOMEO: I know. And their daughter --
BEHAR: And the daughter is a beauty too. It`s so sad, even if they weren`t beautiful, it`s still sad.
Amy, just before we go, what`s your advice for any couples who just hate each other.
WALKER: The bottom line is to turn a child against the other parent is to turn a child against himself. Don`t do it.
BEHAR: Yes. Don`t do it. It`s so immature.
WALKER: Parents really need to be educated about what are those primary alienation strategies so that they can prevent this from developing into parental alienation syndrome --
BEHAR: Yes.
WALKER: Where the child all of a sudden says I hate you, I never want to see you again, for no good reason.
BEHAR: You know, the two things in this world that people never get training for are parenting and guns. I noticed that.
OPRI: They`re going to parenting classes.
BEHAR: Ok. Thanks very much.
OPRI: They`re going to parenting classes.
BEHAR: Thanks ladies. Thank you Debra.
We`ll be back after a very short break. Stay there.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(VIDEO FROM WEIRD AL YANKOVIC`S "EAT IT")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Weird Al is here today and I don`t mean Sharpton or Gore, I mean, Yankovic, the three-time Grammy award winner, who has sold more comedy albums than anyone in history. And now he`s adding children`s book author to his resume. Watch this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
YANKOVIC: Thursday at noon, as I`m sure you know well is the time of the week when we do show and tell. And this week the subject so special to me was when I grow up, what am I going to be.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Here now to discuss his new book "When I Grow Up" is Al Yankovic. I don`t like to say Weird Al Yankovic -- it`s so -- it`s so mean.
YANKOVIC: Is it? Is that mean?
BEHAR: Well, what`s weird about you? I mean, the hair a little bit but --
(CROSS TALK)
YANKOVIC: Maybe it`s ironic like when they call big people tiny. Who knows?
BEHAR: I see, so you`re really, totally like --
YANKOVIC: I`m so extremely normal it`s sickening.
BEHAR: Did you give yourself the weird Al?
YANKOVIC: Well, you know, I think they fist started calling me Weird Al on my freshman year in the dorms in college. I don`t know why, people are just cruel I guess. But I took it on professionally I guess, when I started doing college radio because everybody on the campus radio station had some kind of goofy nickname like Macho Mike, or the Captain or the Sheriff and well, Weird Al, yes, that works. That`s appropriate.
BEHAR: I never heard that explanation before, that`s very good. Now, do you -- you decided to write this children`s book. This is about a kid who can`t decide what he`s going to be when he grows up. He`s thinking about what to be.
YANKOVIC: Yes I mean he`s a --
BEHAR: Yes.
YANKOVIC: -- he`s kind of just ripping on all the crazy bizarre things he`d like to be when he grows up in his show and tell class. And you know the -- the basic subtext of the book if you will, is that there is in fact a world of opportunities out there.
The eight-year-old billionaire story is basically just like going over his options and throwing stuff out there. And the teacher`s trying to like lock him into a decision. And he`s like you know, I -- I don`t have to, I`m eight years old. Give me a break.
BEHAR: Did that happen to you?
YANKOVIC: I wasn`t 8, I was 12, actually.
BEHAR: What happens?
YANKOVIC: I -- I had a guidance -- guidance counselor in school that was trying to, well -- pressure is a strong word, but trying to get kids to you know figure out their life and -- and decide on what they were going to do. And at that time I was saying, well, you know, I`d -- I`d kind of like to be -- I don`t know, a writer for Mad magazine. He`s like, yes, I don`t think you have a future in comedy.
BEHAR: Really.
YANKOVIC: You know what, -- yes, why don`t you like -- be an adult and get a real job. You know, you`re good in drafting and you`re good in math, you like to design things. Why don`t you be an architect? And I said, well, ok.
BEHAR: But were you funny?
YANKOVIC: I guess -- I mean, I was more of a --
BEHAR: Not to him.
YANKOVIC: No, but you know, I -- I guess I always had kind of a -- a strange streak to me.
BEHAR: Yes.
YANKOVIC: I mean, I was a straight A student and kind of the proto- typical nerd. But I -- I did, you know, I guess still was a bit bizarre in school. So there was that side to me too.
BEHAR: See, I think then when a kid is funny it should be encouraged, because not everybody has that particular gene.
YANKOVIC: Yes.
BEHAR: So the -- the teacher were -- actually did you a disservice.
YANKOVIC: Well, I -- I`m sure he meant well. Because you know, it is hard to, you know, generally make a living doing fun stuff like that.
BEHAR: Yes.
YANKOVIC: But you know, it -- it`s also not -- not a great idea to crush kids dreams.
BEHAR: That`s right. That`s right.
YANKOVIC: So -- I -- I -- so the book is I mean, if it has any kind of message, is just that you know -- it`s something my -- my dad told me, which was such a gift, was that the only real sign of success is making a living at whatever it is that makes you happy.
And you know that was a great message for me. And it gave me encouragement to --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Yes.
YANKOVIC: -- after I graduated with my degree in architecture --
BEHAR: Yes.
YANKOVIC: -- it made me realize, well, I don`t think this is my life`s calling. Let me -- let me look around and see if there`s something else I can do. And luckily there was an opening in the Weird Al line of work. And so I took that drive --
BEHAR: You were right -- nature avoids a vacuum for a weird person.
YANKOVIC: Yes, there you go.
BEHAR: And now, you have parodied Lady Gaga.
YANKOVIC: Have I?
BEHAR: That`s what -- I heard -- no?
YANKOVIC: Not -- not yet, I mean, some day.
BEHAR: Ok, scratch that question.
YANKOVIC: Well, you know, well, sort of kind of. Because on the upcoming album I have a polka medley called Polka Face. And she`s a -- she was featured in that.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Oh well, so --
YANKOVIC: -- so it`s yes -- so the research was like 35 percent correct.
BEHAR: Ok.
YANKOVIC: So don`t fire anybody.
BEHAR: That`s good. We`re not firing anybody; 35 percent that`s pretty good.
YANKOVIC: That`s right, that`s good enough.
BEHAR: Michael Jackson 100 percent.
YANKOVIC: Absolutely, twice.
BEHAR: Ok and Madonna.
YANKOVIC: Yes.
BEHAR: Let`s look at that one. I want to see that one.
YANKOVIC: Shall we? Ok.
BEHAR: Let`s.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(VIDEO FROM WEIRD AL YANKOVIC`S "LIKE A SURGEON")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: How do you actually get permission -- you have to get permission to parody somebody`s song, right?
YANKOVIC: I remember -- I remember that as if it were just 26 years ago. That`s amazing. Yes, well, illegally it`s a gray area, I don`t necessarily have to get permission, but I always do. It`s sort of historically what I`ve done, just because I don`t like to step on people`s toes and I like to make sure the artists are -- are in on the joke.
BEHAR: I see, so Michael Jackson gave you permission?
YANKOVIC: I -- you know, he was a huge supporter early on. I mean, back before "Eat It." I was really more of a cult figure. Very few people knew who -- you know, who or what -- with this Weird Al was about. And we -- we thought I would be highly improbable that Michael Jackson would give us his blessing.
But you know, we thought, you know it doesn`t hurt to ask and he actually had a great sense of humor. And there exists somewhere on -- in this universe a contract with my signature next to Michael`s saying, we`re the co-writers of "Eat It."
So --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: I see.
YANKOVIC: -- and then once I had his stamp of approval a lot of other artists like well, Michael thinks it`s ok maybe it`s ok.
BEHAR: So it shows it shows you that Michael is casual about his -- about giving it over, it`s nice.
YANKOVIC: Yes, he had a great sense of humor. Yes.
BEHAR: Right. But Paul McCartney said no, why?
YANKOVIC: Well, I had no --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: -- Led zeppelin said no?
YANKOVIC: Well, ok. Pretty, ok -- Paul McCartney, we`ll start with that, he -- he turned me down for a parody years ago, I didn`t wanted to do the parody of "Live and Let Die" called "Chicken Pot Pie". Brilliant I know.
BEHAR: But for Prince you could have done Little Red Pervert.
YANKOVIC: I could, I could. But -- but back to Paul, because I -- I don`t want any to besmirch Paul`s name because Paul was a great sport. He said I would love you do a parody, but don`t do anything about the consumption of animal flesh, because I`m a vegetarian. And you know that`s -- that`s not cool. And I couldn`t think of a better idea.
In fact, I got to direct Paul McCartney last year. I did a 3D short film called, "Al`s Brand (ph)" in 3D. Paul was nice enough to make a cameo so, if I do nothing else in life, I can probably say that I`ve directed Paul McCartney. He was a great sport.
BEHAR: Well, he`s a -- he`s a very sweet guy anyway.
YANKOVIC: Yes.
BEHAR: I`ve met him a couple of times, I like him.
You know before you go, I have to ask you. First, I want to ask you to sign this -- this book for me.
YANKOVIC: Ok.
BEHAR: You know, George Bush once signed a book.
YANKOVIC: This book?
BEHAR: "My Pet Goat".
YANKOVIC: Oh -- oh that one?
BEHAR: Yes. Do you want to sign it for me?
YANKOVIC: I -- I`d be honored.
BEHAR: So and also, I want to show you a picture of you and actress Lisa Kudrow arriving at JFK Airport together the other day. Interestingly enough, both of you are on my show today. Is this a coincidence or are you having an affair with Lisa Kudrow?
YANKOVIC: You know, not to my knowledge. You know, I don`t know, I`m not stalking her or anything. I think we`re both on the "Today Show" at the same time as well. So it`s just weird synchronicity happening.
BEHAR: Yes.
YANKOVIC: But my -- my wife was forwarded the TMZ picture and like, what`s going on with Al and Lisa? But nothing as far as I can tell.
BEHAR: How long you`re married?
YANKOVIC: Ten -- it`ll be our ten year anniversary next week.
BEHAR: Do you have children?
YANKOVIC: I have an eight-year-old daughter named Nina, whom the book is dedicated to.
BEHAR: Oh that`s so sweet. Very good. Thanks so much for stopping by.
YANKOVIC: Oh my pleasure. This is fun. Thank you.
BEHAR: I love it.
Weird Al`s new book is called, "When I Grow Up".
We`ll be back in a minute.
BROOKE ANDERSON, HLN HOST, "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT": Nicole Kidman`s shocking new revelations today about her divorce from Tom Cruise. Why she says the split left her damaged.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: You know her as Larry David`s wife, Cheryl, on the hit series, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" which, I`m happy to say, is returning to HBO for its eighth season sometime later this year. Please welcome to the show Cheryl Hines. Welcome back to the show.
CHERYL HINES, ACTRESS: Thanks.
BEHAR: You`ve been here before.
So let`s talk about "Curb" for a minute. I mean what big surprises are in store for us, do you know?
HINES: No, not really. It`s going to be in New York. A lot of it is shot here. That`s what I got for you.
BEHAR: That`s it. Did you and Larry patch things up?
HINES: I can`t tell you.
BEHAR: You can`t. You`re under restraints?
HINES: Yes.
BEHAR: He doesn`t tell -- it`s like Woody Allen, he doesn`t like any of that to go out either.
Well, he needs the surprise though, you know Allen.
That`s it for him? Ok. Let`s move on.
HINES: Wasn`t that great? A great conversation about "Curb Your Enthusiasm"?
BEHAR: Yes. I know. It depends on what`s happening in Larry`s life. You know, things go well, the show does the same thing, whatever.
Let`s talk about American heart month, which is this month, February. Your father almost died of a heart attack.
HINES: He did. Yes. Yes, my father had a heart attack and has heart disease. You know, it was a big wakeup call because clearly he almost died, and then he -- he`s made a full recovery, which is great, and stopped smoking and is taking care of himself.
And then I started learning more about heart disease and realized that it`s the number one killer for women.
BEHAR: Yes, I know.
HINES: I was shocked.
BEHAR: It is shocking because people think it`s breast cancer.
HINES: Yes. Because you seem to hear more about it.
BEHAR: Yes. You have to go to your doctor, women have to check themselves out at the doctors` and take an EKG and get their blood pressure under control.
HINES: And their cholesterol under control, and then eat -- you know, eat right and exercise.
BEHAR: And stop smoking. That`s the number one thing you can do is to stop smoking.
HINES: It really is.
BEHAR: A new study found that 28 percent of Americans sometimes lie or omit fact when talking to their doctor. Why do they do that?
HINES: I don`t know. Why would they do that? Are they embarrassed about something that`s happening?
BEHAR: I just asked somebody, you should go to the doctor and get an EKG. And she said, "I don`t want to know because I smoke. I don`t want him to tell me not to smoke." Sneaky.
HINES: You know what, you`re right. Probably people are worried that they`re going to be told to stop smoking or stop eating the doughnuts or that something`s wrong with them.
BEHAR: That`s right, exactly.
Now, National Wear Red Day is tomorrow?
HINES: Yes.
BEHAR: So tell them what that is.
HINES: Well, we like everyone to wear red to jumpstart the awareness of heart disease and to learn more about it and learn that you can actually prevent it with exercise and checking your --
BEHAR: There`s another thing that you can you do.
I work for Bayer Aspirin, I`m their spokesperson because my mother had a heart attack when she was young. And there`s a lot of heart disease in my family too. They have given -- they have this whole thing -- you can go to iamproheart.com and find out all about it.
This is a little pill tote that you can put on your keychain. I want you to have it. It has an aspirin in there.
HINES: A little pill tote. Right.
BEHAR: And so if you feel like you`re having a heart attack, you take the aspirin and it minimizes the damage.
HINES: I`ve heard that before. But that`s nice that you always have it with you then.
BEHAR: Yes. You could put it on your keychain. And if you go to this Web site I just told you, it costs I think -- I don`t know what it costs, $5 or something. But Bayer will donate money to the cause.
HINES: Oh, that`s nice. That`s really nice. I like that. So you always have it with you.
BEHAR: Yes. Isn`t that nice?
HINES: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: The two girls with heart disease in the family come together.
HINES: Come together and inform people.
BEHAR: That`s right.
HINES: Yes. Get it out.
BEHAR: Very good to see you.
Stay right there, we`ll have more with Cheryl in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Lindsay Lohan could be in more trouble. The L.A. district attorney is reportedly looking into allegations that the actress stole a necklace worth $2,500 from a jewelry store. The piece apparently disappeared from the store on January 22nd, and, according to a source, Lohan was seen on the store video wearing the necklace before it went missing. But Lohan says the store lent it to her.
Here to discuss this and other stories are comedian Kathleen Madigan, actress and star of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" Cheryl Hines, and senior editor of "Us Weekly," Bradley Jacobs.
OK, guys, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you, sweetie, I haven`t seen you in a while. OK, Lindsey claims the store loaned her the necklace and an associate has taken -- an associate has taken the necklace to the police station. What?
KATHLEEN MADIGAN, COMEDIAN: Well, the store said, see, there`s like 17,000 pieces of paperwork to loan, quote, loan, you a necklace, and she forgot to fill out all of them. All 17,000.
BEHAR: For $2,500 they don`t have you fill out that kind of -- come on.
BRADLEY JACOBS, US WEEKLY: I don`t really believe anyone in this situation. You know, whenever you`ve been in a moment like this, it`s like Lindsay walks in, and they`re like you`re so fabulous, you`re so beautiful. She`s like, it`s so great to see you again, try this on, try this on. And in the midst of all that, she tries on four or five different bracelets and they don`t realize until, you know, an hour later that she actually walked out with one, and Lindsay left thinking that she could borrow one. It`s very understandable.
BEHAR: You buy that, Cheryl?
CHERYL HINES, ACTRESS: This is so hard, because I love Lindsay.
BEHAR: You do.
HINES: Yeah, I do, actually.
BEHAR: Well, we all love Lindsay.
(LAUGHTER)
(CROSSTALK)
HINES: I will say, you know, maybe she needs to kick it up a notch. If she`s in trouble already--
BEHAR: You mean steal something bigger?
HINES: Yes. If you`re going to steal something, make it -- no, I`m just saying, people are watching you, maybe if it`s a borderline situation that they didn`t actually give you the necklace, just double-check before you walk out of the store. That`s all I`m saying.
MADIGAN: Or just say I was drunk.
HINES: Oh God.
MADIGAN: That`s what I would say. I say that for a lot of things, and it covers a lot of bad behavior. People go, oh. It`s all they say.
(CROSSTALK)
MADIGAN: They don`t care.
(CROSSTALK)
JACOBS: She`s sober, she`s not--
(CROSSTALK)
JACOBS: Up to her -- bless you.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I`m sorry.
HINES: It`s nice that you`re so comfortable.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Well, what are you going to do?
HINES: You`re so comfortable on TV--
BEHAR: What are you going to do when you have to--
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You did the right thing.
BEHAR: You know, Dr. Ruth used to say that, you know, a sneeze is an orgasm. I had a nana who had hay fever. Does that make her a nymphomaniac?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: So we`re done with Lindsay?
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Who knows.
BEHAR: Let`s move on to Charlie Manson.
MADIGAN: That`s what I like better.
BEHAR: He`s been making cell phone calls and getting through from behind prison walls. You know what that means, he`s not with AT&T.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK. Now, what is this? Inmates are not allowed to have cell phones in prison?
MADIGAN: More importantly, who`s he calling? He has friends?
(CROSSTALK)
HINES: What is the message, hey, dude, what`s up? What does Charlie Manson say to his friends?
BEHAR: I don`t know. What do you think he`s doing, Bradley?
JACOBS: Very scary. This is Charles Manson, the murderer. And he`s in a high-security prison in California. And suddenly he has, for the second time, a cell phone under his mattress. You know, this is the Internet age, and a lot of things can happen very quickly over the Internet between texting and -- I mean, the fact that he could get a cell phone, I think, is really frightening.
BEHAR: He could say "go kill somebody," and some idiot would do it. One of his, like--
(CROSSTALK)
HINES: Oh, that would never happen.
BEHAR: One of his Moonies--
MADIGAN: But admit it, if your phone came up and it said "Charlie Manson," you`d pick up, you would.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Again, Charlie? Stop calling me.
(CROSSTALK)
HINES: How could you not, you`d be dying to know what he has to say.
(CROSSTALK)
MADIGAN: Charlie, is your parole hearing coming up again? I love those.
BEHAR: Do you think maybe he like texts and votes on "American Idol" or something?
HINES: I hope so. I really hope so.
JACOBS: He called someone. He called someone and sang a song.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: We happen to have that for your delectation.
(CROSSTALK)
HINES: Is this real?
BEHAR: Yes. Let us listen to this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHARLES MANSON, CONVICTED MURDERER (singing): I`ve seen the world spinning around on fire. I`ve danced and sang in the devil`s choir.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: OK.
JACOBS: That`s my new ring tone.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Yes, he`s normal.
HINES: Oh, my God.
MADIGAN: Does he have a Twitter account? I`d like to follow him.
BEHAR: I don`t think he has a Twitter account, but he probably could have one. I mean, how do these people get these things in their cell is what I want to know?
HINES: I don`t know. That is a good question.
BEHAR: Do you think the guards are giving it to him?
JACOBS: Maybe. And what else could he get? If he could a cell phone?
MADIGAN: Twice. I mean, once you`d think, OK, uh-oh, somebody`s in trouble, Charlie`s got a phone. But the second time? Someone`s got to be fired.
BEHAR: I know.
MADIGAN: I told you once he can`t call people, I told you twice he can`t call people, and he`s in there ringing up a bill of $2,300 a month.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: And you`re paying for it. Taxpayers are paying for this bill.
MADIGAN: Correct.
BEHAR: Have you ever seen the taxes on phone bills? OK.
Lastly, when tenth grader Donny Dunlap (ph) was assigned too much homework, he went on to Facebook to vent about his teacher. Harmless enough, right? That was until he wrote that the teacher was a fat ass and got suspended.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now, the American Civil Liberties Union says that this is free speech, he should be allowed to call the teacher a fat ass if he wants. So were they right? Who`s right?
HINES: Well, I mean, he can do it, and clearly he did. But I think he needs to know that whatever he says on the Internet, the whole world can see. And I think that`s the problem with that generation, the young ones. I don`t think they understand that everybody can see what they`re writing. I think they type things--
BEHAR: Oh, no, they know.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Have you seen the movie "The Social Network?"
HINES: I have.
BEHAR: OK, so, you know.
(CROSSTALK)
JACOBS: I was really surprised that the ACLU stuck up for him so much. They really came to his defense and said, you know, he should be able to write what he wants to write. This was not harassing. But I was surprised because, frankly, if I were his teacher, I would feel harassed by that. To call him a fat ass on Facebook with 500 friends being able to see it?
MADIGAN: Yes, but are you a fat ass? I mean, that`s what I want to know.
BEHAR: That`s the question.
JACOBS: But that doesn`t matter. That`s irrelevant whether he--
MADIGAN: No, it`s not irrelevant.
(CROSSTALK)
MADIGAN: If he is a fat ass, if I said you`re a fat ass and you are a fat ass, I`m not harassing you. I`m just telling you the truth.
(CROSSTALK)
JACOBS: He also called him a d-bag.
BEHAR: Yeah, he said that.
JACOBS: But isn`t that in the eye of the beholder?
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Let me have the pleasure. He said, this is how he described the teacher. "A fat ass who should stop eating fast food and is a douchebag."
HINES: OK. Well, we know for sure he`s literally not a douchebag.
BEHAR: Yeah, that`s right.
HINES: So clearly he is calling him a name.
BEHAR: But the First Amendment also, you know, protects you from inaccurate information sometimes.
MADIGAN: Correct.
BEHAR: Unless, you know, unless you`re harming somebody physically, you`re protected by the First Amendment.
HINES: Yeah.
BEHAR: I can call any of you all sorts of names and you can`t do anything to me.
HINES: And you have. And you have.
BEHAR: And I have.
(LAUGHTER)
MADIGAN: But behind your back only.
HINES: Yes, that`s the way to do it. Go behind somebody`s back and then you don`t have to post it.
BEHAR: As much as I just like to keep saying "fat ass" for the rest of the night, I have to go.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Dang it. Here`s a quick note. Kathleen Madigan`s standup DVD "Gone Madigan" is on sale now.
OK. Now I want to turn to a story involving my next guest, Perez Hilton and actress Jennifer Aniston.
Ms. Aniston was on the "Ellen DeGeneres Show" today and she told a story about a chance meeting in a parking garage with Perez Hilton. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JENNIFER ANISTON, ACTRESS: I just rolled down the window and I went, "hi." And he went, "hi." We stood there like two deers -- deer -- caught in headlights. And I just said, "come here, don`t, you know, just talk to me for a second." And it was one of those just great moments. It was a lovely meeting. And I was just like, why don`t you -- why are you so mean?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: OK, let`s clear this up right now. Here now to give his side of the story is founder of Perezhilton.com, Perez Hilton. Hello there, Perez. How are you?
PEREZ HILTON, PEREZHILTON.COM: I`m happy to be on your show again, Joy.
BEHAR: So what did you say to Jennifer when she asked you why you`re so mean?
HILTON: I told her the same excuses that I would tell myself to justify my actions back then before I made this change a few months ago to be more positive and stop name calling and to actively try and not be a bully.
So I told Jennifer, you`re just a character to me, I don`t have really anything against you. It`s all entertainment. And I even brought up Brad and Angelina and mentioning how when I started blogging back in 2004, it was around the time of their split, and you know, there were the two teams then. There was team Jen or team Angelina, and I just chose to be team Angelina. And unfortunately, she was not one of my favorites back then.
BEHAR: I see. But you know something, Perez, you have to be careful that you don`t jump the shark. I mean, you`re known as a gossip columnist who has a little bit of a snarky, nasty streak. And that`s why people read your column. You know, you don`t want to be like Andrew Dice Clay, who had that persona of sexist and homophobic and funny in his comedy routine and then he`d start crying and saying, oh, I`m not really like that. You`ll be out of business.
HILTON: Well, thankfully I took that into consideration. That`s why when I first met Jen, it was in August, and I had already been thinking about this, like do I want to make this change publicly? Because I had already been going there privately, but I just had to after all these gay teenagers were committing suicide and I was speaking out about it, and people were calling me a bully. So you know, if I did lose any readers, that would have been fine by me. But thankfully, I`m so thankful and it warms my heart that traffic has not gone down. So that tells me that the world is ready for this more positive direction, and hopefully other people follow suit.
And actually, I mean -- let me use this moment to relay a message to somebody that you know, and somebody who I also had a not-so-nice nickname about, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, one of your co-hosts on "The View."
BEHAR: Yes.
HILTON: I had a not-so-nice name for her, which I don`t use anymore. And I will say right here, right now, Elisabeth, first of all, you are right, because when I was on "The View" once, Elisabeth told me backstage, "you know, I don`t think this is really you." Meaning that nasty persona.
BEHAR: So you love Elisabeth now and you`re apologizing to Elisabeth?
HILTON: No, I`m not saying that. I`m not saying I love her. I`m saying she was right, that Perez was an act, and the real me is this kinder person. So I have been letting the people, the world get to see more of the real me. And I want to apologize to her for saying, you know, Elisa- beep--
BEHAR: Yes.
HILTON: Because--
BEHAR: Just don`t call people names. You can call people -- you can talk about people--
HILTON: I don`t. I don`t anymore.
BEHAR: You don`t have to call them names, I mean, unless they`re politicians.
HILTON: Well, I still have an opinion, I`m still critical and I`ve rebranded the website now from being Hollywood`s most hated website to now it`s Hollywood`s most sassy website, because sassy is fabulous and fun.
BEHAR: OK. Thank you. Thank you, Perez. I have got to go. Thanks so much for joining me.
HILTON: Bye.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: On her NBC genealogy series, "Who Do You Think You Are," Lisa Kudrow helps some of today`s stars trace their ancestry with surprising results. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VANESSA WILLIAMS: 26 U.S., I would assume this is colored. And that would mean infantry, I think. 1861 to 1865. I guess that would be the Civil War?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: OK. With me now is the show`s executive producer, Ms. Lisa Kudrow. Hello, Lisa.
LISA KUDROW, EXEC. PRODUCER, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE": Hello, Joy.
BEHAR: So Vanessa went to the cemetery and what happened there? She went to the cemetery and discovered that her ancestors were what?
KUDROW: She was visiting her father`s grave in the family -- on the family hill.
BEHAR: Which is where?
KUDROW: Which is in Oyster Bay, New York.
BEHAR: Oh, Long Island?
KUDROW: Yes. That`s where her father grew up. And the family goes back a ways. And there are other graves there, and she never really paid attention, so she noticed this one of her great great grandfather, David Carl (ph), who apparently fought during the Civil War for the Union side.
BEHAR: Interesting.
KUDROW: Really interesting, because he was in the colored regiment.
BEHAR: Oh, he was black?
KUDROW: Yes. He was black.
BEHAR: But she`s mixed race, isn`t she?
KUDROW: Yes. She is and she finds out who he was married to.
BEHAR: Who was he married to?
KUDROW: A white woman.
BEHAR: A white woman.
KUDROW: Did I spoil everything?
BEHAR: No, that`s right. But--
KUDROW: We couldn`t--
BEHAR: -- people just want to stare at Vanessa Williams, so it`s OK.
KUDROW: That`s true, too. But we couldn`t really find much, to be honest. There wasn`t much to find about that marriage or what their life was like or how hard it actually was, so we couldn`t go into that, which is too bad. And yes, and he was free, of course, because New York freed slaves in 1825. But it goes into a little bit about the resistance and how, you know, black men weren`t allowed to enlist until near the end--
BEHAR: That`s right.
KUDROW: -- and there were riots over that. So he risked a lot. And he was sent to the South.
BEHAR: Has anybody found out, like a celebrity -- you do all celebrities on the show?
KUDROW: So far, yes.
BEHAR: So far. Has any of them found out anything about their family that they didn`t want on television?
KUDROW: That hasn`t happened so far.
BEHAR: No?
KUDROW: No, because I mean, we`re already starting with people who are just intellectually curious and they are eager for information. You know, we did Steve Buscemi, who even said I hope you find scoundrels and rogues.
BEHAR: Really?
KUDROW: That would be fascinating.
BEHAR: It adds to his persona.
KUDROW: He said I play complicated characters, so if I`m related to one of them --
BEHAR: But you did Gwyneth?
KUDROW: We`re working on that right now. That is being shot.
BEHAR: OK. And Lionel Richie and Rosie O`Donnell. What did you find about Rosie?
KUDROW: Well, two things. One, the first half is sort of this mystery. There was a portrait of a woman in their house, and no one knew who she was. You know, her brother was told, oh, it`s your grandfather`s stepmother. So we actually find out who that woman is, and it`s a very compelling story. I`m afraid to ruin everything.
BEHAR: Yeah, you don`t want to ruin the whole thing.
KUDROW: But it`s very compelling. And then she wanted to find out more about her mother`s side of the family. Her mother passed away when she was ten.
BEHAR: Ten years old, of breast cancer, I know.
KUDROW: Right.
BEHAR: Yeah.
KUDROW: So you know, and she starts off, and she says, you know, I`ve always tried to reframe the story, I mean, so that I`m not just a childless mother. I`m now a mother. I`m trying to reframe that story, and I think she gets there.
BEHAR: That`s nice.
KUDROW: Yes.
BEHAR: Do you think some of the cast of the "Jersey Shore" will go back to Michelangelo or Mussolini? Or neither?
KUDROW: That`s funny.
BEHAR: Yeah. But no -- all right, let`s talk about -- let`s talk about you now. The "Friends" thing, you guys are still friends, all of you?
KUDROW: Well, we don`t see each other or talk. But--
(LAUGHTER)
KUDROW: No, we all -- yes, we get along, we like each other, you know. It`s all fine.
BEHAR: But you`re on your own life. What about Courteney and David Arquette?
KUDROW: Well, I don`t know.
(CROSSTALK)
KUDROW: All right.
BEHAR: So you know something, but anyway, whatever, we hope they`re fine.
KUDROW: I do, yes.
BEHAR: He checked out of rehab.
KUDROW: Oh, OK.
BEHAR: Yeah. So I know more than you?
KUDROW: Yes, it`s possible.
BEHAR: It`s possible.
KUDROW: It`s really possible.
BEHAR: Now, I`m watching the show "The Comeback" that you`re in on Showtime -- no, right now they`re running it on Sundance.
KUDROW: Right. It was on HBO.
BEHAR: It was on HBO there for a while.
KUDROW: And they canceled it.
BEHAR: And it`s all about -- well, you know, the show must go off, as they say. But the show is basically about a woman who`s aged out of the business, you. Who did you base that on?
KUDROW: Who?
BEHAR: Anybody in particular?
KUDROW: Who didn`t I base that on, over 40? No, it`s ironic, because we did that show, and then "Desperate Housewives" started. So it was all OK after all. But luckily, it was about a little more than that. But yes, it`s true, we intentionally put her on a sitcom that was meant to be like "Designing Women" and turned out to be, you know, "Friends," you know, with like 19-year-olds in bathing suits (inaudible) at the beach.
BEHAR: I know, I saw that episode. Just hilarious.
KUDROW: And she`s Aunt Sassy.
BEHAR: But you look great in that. You look beautiful in that series, by the way.
KUDROW: Thank you.
BEHAR: I like the way your hair looks. You have like a nice color.
KUDROW: Red.
BEHAR: Now what about this "Hot in Cleveland?" You have a woman who`s over 88 there on that show. So not all the older girls are being aged out. You know?
KUDROW: No, that`s true. That is absolutely true. But you know, especially at the time, there was -- everyone was looking for the next "Friends," and it was almost impossible to get a show bought if there was anyone over 40.
BEHAR: I know.
KUDROW: And then also the thing with women and trying -- a woman trying to find her voice when she does sort of know what she`s doing, and the relationship--
(CROSSTALK)
KUDROW: And the relationship with writers and --
BEHAR: Yes, yes. It`s a very interesting show. OK, we`re going to take--
KUDROW: And fame.
BEHAR: We`re going to take a break. We`ll have more with Lisa Kudrow in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with the lovely Lisa Kudrow. You know, Lisa, you have this other show, "Web Therapy" now, where you play an unqualified therapist.
KUDROW: That`s right.
BEHAR: Is there any other really these days? And it`s been picked up by Showtime. I`m thrilled for you.
KUDROW: Thank you. Yes, we`re thrilled.
BEHAR: That`s terrific.
KUDROW: Yes. We can`t wait.
BEHAR: And Lily Tomlin plays your mother.
KUDROW: She will be my mother. Yes, she`s hilarious. Very, like, you know, staid, Bostonian woman, and then you watch her sort of deteriorate.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now, my -- one of my, of course, the great actress Meryl Streep was on the show recently, and she plays a sexual orientation therapist. Let`s watch a clip of that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KUDROW: I`m here with my friend Austin Clark (ph), I`m in his Manhattan sort of pied-a-terre right now, you know.
MERYL STREEP, ACTRESS: His what?
KUDROW: Pied-a-terre. It`s -- his apartment.
STREEP: I thought that meant potato. I took French, but it was a really long time ago.
KUDROW: I guess.
STREEP: Anyway--
KUDROW: Before it was French?
STREEP: It would have been very funny if you said I`m in his potato.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: She`s so adorable.
KUDROW: She was great. She played this ditz. She was hilarious. That was the highlight of my professional life.
BEHAR: To be with Meryl?
KUDROW: Yes.
BEHAR: Of course.
KUDROW: I mean--
BEHAR: But I mean, she--
KUDROW: There`s nothing higher, better.
BEHAR: But some actresses can`t improvise. She can do it.
KUDROW: Oh, boy, she can do it.
BEHAR: Some actors, they just have to have a script. They can`t go off. She can do that.
KUDROW: Absolutely. She blew me off the stage. I mean, of course. But yes, no, I -- she carried every scene.
BEHAR: I know.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: -- most brilliant. But I`m wondering, the therapist is unqualified.
KUDROW: Yes. She`s sort of not fully credentialed. She`s on the Internet.
BEHAR: That`s a good part for you. The comeback thing is a little bit in that ballpark also. It`s like really, she doesn`t have that much talent.
KUDROW: No.
BEHAR: So it`s similar in that way. I like the part you do. Now what would your therapist have to say to Camille Grammer, who was on my show last night and caused a big stir?
KUDROW: Oh, she did? I missed it.
BEHAR: Yes. She had revealed to us that her husband, Kelsey Grammer, didn`t have sex with her for two years, he was too busy watching Fox News, she said.
KUDROW: OK.
BEHAR: Now, what would you--
KUDROW: Well, this is the forum for that.
BEHAR: It is. I mean, you should get her on there. It`s actually like -- it`s a true story. But what would the therapist say to her, do you think?
KUDROW: What Fiona would say?
BEHAR: What would she say, Fiona, yes?
KUDROW: Well, it sounds like he cut you a break, I don`t know what you`re complaining about.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK. OK, here`s a couple of Twitter questions for you. "Please sing a bit of `Smelly Cat.` You rock," someone says. How does it go, "Smelly Cat?" Come on.
KUDROW: All right. If you can afford it.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: If we can`t, we`ll cut it out. Don`t worry about it. Sing it, come on.
KUDROW (singing): Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Thank you so much.
KUDROW: What, did you think I wouldn`t remember?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: It says here that other celebs implode, but Lisa does not ever implode, or she says out of the tabloids. How do you do that?
KUDROW: How do I stay out of the tabloids?
BEHAR: Yeah.
KUDROW: I`m completely uninteresting.
BEHAR: I know.
(CROSSTALK)
KUDROW: I don`t go out. I just stay home, I watch TV.
BEHAR: Exactly. It`s a very easy thing to do if you don`t want to be exploited by the tabloids. Just don`t give them any information.
KUDROW: Anything. If there`s a camera, smile. There`s no story if you`re happy.
BEHAR: Do you go (inaudible) in a bathing suit?
(CROSSTALK)
KUDROW: No, no.
BEHAR: I know.
KUDROW: Do not.
BEHAR: It`s a nightmare in hell. OK, thank you, honey, for coming on. The new season of "Who Do You Think Are" premieres Friday at 8:00 p.m. on ABC. Good night, everybody.
END
