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Joy Behar Page
Interview With Rosie O`Donnell; Interview With Dr. Oz
Aired February 17, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: My old pal Rosie O`Donnell is on the show today. She`s profiled in this new genealogy series, "Who Do You Think You Are". You know, just out of curiosity, I had the producers look into my family history. Turns out I`m a distant cousin of the great explorer Basco de Behar, who when told he discovered Florida you know what he said: so what, who cares?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, queen of controversy, Rosie O`Donnell tells Joy about life after "The View", having four kids and her return to talk TV.
Then as Senator Scott Brown reveals he was sexually and physically abused as a child, Joy wants to know why such life-altering crimes have a statute of limitations.
Plus Dr. Oz weighs in on everything from Charlie Sheen`s substance abuse problems to remedies for the common cold.
That and more starting right now.
BEHAR: Ok. My first guest tonight has been very open about losing her mother when she was just 10 years old. So when she was asked if she wanted to discover more about her family roots, she agreed, going on a journey she never expected. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROSIE O`DONNELL, TALK SHOW HOST: My great, great grandfather was here with his wife and four children. Boy, this is creepy and sad; overwhelmingly sad, like I literally have a stomach ache because you can visualize it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was Rosie O`Donnell on tomorrow night`s episode of "Who Do You Think You Are". She joins me tonight right here. Hi, Rosie.
O`DONNELL: Hi, Joy. How are you?
BEHAR: Great. Everything`s find. How have you been?
O`DONNELL: I am really well, really well. Yes.
BEHAR: Now, you go on this journey to find your roots and everything else.
O`DONNELL: Yes. Have you seen the show?
BEHAR: No, not yet.
O`DONNELL: You`ve seen the series, though?
BEHAR: Yes, I`ve seen it before. And it`s a little scary. I mean what if you find out that your relative is like Jack the Ripper or Tom DeLay.
O`DONNELL: Well, that would be scary I think for everyone. I told them that I wanted to do my mom`s side because of that. You know, there was some stuff on my dad`s side that was kind of dramatic and chaotic that I knew about.
I said, I`d like to see if you could find out anything about my mother because she was an only child. And she died in `73 and I don`t really know very much about her or her family at all. My grandfather died before I was born. My mother`s mother lived with us until she died in 1980.
BEHAR: Your grandmother outlived your mother?
O`DONNELL: Yes, she did. And she often talked about that; that the worst thing in the world is to bury a child.
BEHAR: Absolutely the worst thing, it must be.
O`DONNELL: Yes. She used to sit at the kitchen table smoking unfiltered Chesterfields. And she couldn`t see well so she would put them out on the table that were a little blacked off --
BEHAR: Your grandma.
O`DONNELL: Yes. She wasn`t like a functional grandma who could make dinner, but when there was not a mother home and my dad was at work, it was a wonderful thing to have a maternal presence there in the house.
BEHAR: Absolutely. She must have saved your life to some extent?
O`DONNELL: Yes. Without a doubt and I think that finding out about what her childhood was like and what her father went through was very eye opening. And it really grounded me I think in a way that I never had felt before. Without knowing your history, you`re sort of lost without realizing it.
BEHAR: I know. That`s why adopted kids, I always say they always should go back and find out their roots.
O`DONNELL: I agree.
BEHAR: A lot of people don`t want to, though.
O`DONNELL: You know what`s interesting with my kids when I came back from this trip. I said -- we were all sitting at the table and they said, what did you find out?
I said well, my great grandfather lived in Ireland during the potato famine. They`re like wow, so we came over on the ship -- like they included themselves in my ancestry. Which I thought was really --
BEHAR: They said we?
O`DONNELL: Yes. And my little boy Blake who`s 11, he said, so this means I`m 100 percent Irish and he`s a little Hispanic kid. Well, kind of funny. But I think when they get to the age where they want to do that, I think they`ll have a much better understanding of what it means to find out stuff that you never knew.
BEHAR: Exactly. How many kids do you have now?
O`DONNELL: Four.
BEHAR: The same kids?
O`DONNELL: Yes, the same -- I didn`t trade them in. I`ve tried, if anyone knows of that program please contact me. No, they`re teenagers now. I don`t know how you did it, you only have one.
BEHAR: I have one, yes. But one is easy. One is enough. I can`t do more than one, I can`t do it.
O`DONNELL: Well, I have a 15, 13, 11 and 8. And the teenage years are not easy.
BEHAR: Now.
O`DONNELL: They`re going through hormones, you`re going through hormones.
BEHAR: Are you still in menopause? You used to have hot flashes everyday when we were on "The View".
O`DONNELL: Done. Started at 41, ended at like 44. After I was off "The View" Suzanne Somers called me up and said, you know, I have a feeling that some of your rage is bio-identical hormones.
BEHAR: Really.
O`DONNELL: I`m like, are you kidding me? She`s like, no, really why don`t you try this. And I went to one of her doctors and I have been putting that cream on me for the last four years and I feel a thousand percent better.
BEHAR: And the rage is gone?
O`DONNELL: Kind of.
BEHAR: Really?
O`DONNELL: It depends. If you put me in a certain situation, I`m not promising, you know.
BEHAR: I don`t know about that.
O`DONNELL: Do a split-screen here, we`ll see what happens. Ok, Behar. That`s all I`m saying.
BEHAR: You never know what`s going to happen with you.
O`DONNELL: You never know.
BEHAR: Well, that`s what`s good about you. We never know what`s going to happen.
Now, there was a photograph in this show of you that was an unknown woman, who was that woman? This picture is hanging in the house for 20 years.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: And you don`t know who she is.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: Did you ever ask who was that woman?
O`DONNELL: We asked my Nana. It was a huge gold framed portrait of - -
BEHAR: There it is in that show.
O`DONNELL: Yes. In the 1800s, that`s a smaller copy of it. But the one we had was really huge. And we always said to my Nana who is that? She said, somebody on Danny`s side, that was her husband. And we said who? She said I don`t remember. So we never knew.
And through this show we find out who that woman was.
BEHAR: Who?
O`DONNELL: It was my grandfather`s first wife. And what happened to her is kind of shocking and amazing.
BEHAR: She died.
O`DONNELL: Horrifically.
BEHAR: Oh, really?
O`DONNELL: And there were children involved. And then we found relatives we didn`t know we had. But I was really kind of amazed to think that it meant so much to my family that my grandfather would have insisted that this portrait be carried from home to home to home but nobody would tell the story.
It`s typically Irish.
BEHAR: They were scared to talk about it. It was too painful.
O`DONNELL: And traditionally, I think Irish people don`t share their emotions very well, culturally.
BEHAR: Oh, nobody does.
O`DONNELL: Well, I always felt like the Jewish people in our town, the Italians, they always kissed their kids, they said I love you. There was more emotion. The Irish, which is sort of cold and cutoff.
BEHAR: Well, not all.
O`DONNELL: I don`t know, that was my experience, and from what I have experienced culturally, that`s what I know. But we never talked about it.
Same with when my mother died, it was never mentioned again.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: My siblings never --
BEHAR: My aunt rose had a mother-in-law who was the biggest bitch in New York. She was Italian; she was cold and mean and rotten.
O`DONNELL: Well, I`m not saying that all Italian people are nice. But I`m saying as a culture they`re maybe more emotive than the Irish, you know.
BEHAR: I`m just saying. They were emotive but they can be mean too.
O`DONNELL: Yes, you know. I know a couple of mean Italians.
BEHAR: What was the most interesting thing you found out about your mother? Or your mother`s side. Besides this woman?
O`DONNELL: Yes. The woman`s story was pretty fascinating. There were relatives that we didn`t know of, who are now in their 90s, and there were ten children in this one family, and all of them are still alive.
BEHAR: Where are they? In Ireland?
O`DONNELL: Now, they`re in New Jersey because my mother is originally from Jersey City. So I walked into this restaurant in Jersey City and this table 10 elderly people. And a 90-something-year-old woman named Grace starts to cry.
And her eyes get filled up she says I remember you. I said where did you remember me from? You were a little girl in Jersey City in the apartment with tap shoes on and you had bangs. I said no that was my mother.
She`s like no you have the same face. I said no, it was my mother.
So I had just seen a film of my mother at that age at five or six years old, dancing in black and white dancing. And that`s what this woman had remembered. So it was kind of interesting to see people thought we looked alike, people thought we had similar affect, similar personality.
BEHAR: Did you find anybody in Ireland back in the day in the 1800s that was interesting in some way, besides this woman that you talked about. We`ll have to wait to see the show to see all that, but what about anybody else?
O`DONNELL: My great grandfather was a farmhand. And my great grandmother was apparently from a very rich family. And my great grandfather was Protestant but lied and said he was Catholic on all the immigration forms. But my great grandmother was from a very rich family and they sort of disowned her, we think, because she married a Protestant.
BEHAR: She married for love.
O`DONNELL: And she ended up in the poorhouse, which I didn`t even know, that`s what that footage was from. There were literally places that looked very much like a concentration camp where Irish families during the potato famine who were poor were brought in. Mothers and fathers were separated, children were separated, under two years old the kids were taken, heads were shaved. They were given rags to wear and only two ounces of potatoes.
So it was all a part of Irish history that I didn`t even know had existed and my family was in there for over eight years.
BEHAR: There were a lot of secrets in Irelands. Did you ever see the Magdalene sisters?
O`DONNELL: I sure did.
BEHAR: And the pre-scandal in Ireland. Of course, that`s all over the world. I mean there`s a lot of secrets in this world.
O`DONNELL: Yes. Well, that`s what I was saying and it`s culture that doesn`t really express feelings or emotions, they`d rather pretend something didn`t happen or just avoid it.
Like when after my mother died, we weren`t really told anything, we weren`t ever encouraged to talk about her. My brother Eddie went on this journey with me. It was really the first time in over 30 years that he and I spoke about my mother.
(CROSSTALK)
O`DONNELL: That he said to me, this is mommy`s uncle and 38 years of not hearing that word from a sibling was very, very kind of jarring and overwhelming. It was very powerful.
BEHAR: Powerful stuff.
I think the show can be very interesting for people like you who really -- first of all, you`re very inquisitive, you want to know. You carry around the pain of your mother still, which we see very often on television, it just comes out of you.
O`DONNELL: But I`ll tell you, it just sort of reframed that for me because I think we all take our life history and put the hardest thing in the middle and then frame it and carry it around, this is what I survived. Knowing what my family survived in order to get me here sort of broke apart that frame and allowed me to have a more global view of my place in the world and my own pain comparatively to my family.
BEHAR: And the things you find out. I found out, for example, when they did my genealogy that my grandmother on my father`s side, they were in Turin and that grandfather came to Brooklyn and forgot to go back. And she wrote him a letter and said if you don`t come back and get us I will kill myself and the children.
Dramatic --
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: Did he come back?
BEHAR: -- dramatic --
O`DONNELL: But at least showing feelings.
BEHAR: Yes.
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: The Irish person would have said, could you drop me a line -- you know something like that.
BEHAR: No, it`s very Italian to have an opera about it.
O`DONNELL: Oh yes, yes.
BEHAR: You know, I`m going to kill myself and the children.
O`DONNELL: Right.
BEHAR: He went back right away and took us back to Brooklyn.
O`DONNELL: No kidding.
BEHAR: And that`s how we got here.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: So you know, you find out stuff about your relatives, you know.
O`DONNELL: Yes weird creepy stuff.
BEHAR: A lot of it is weird and creepy.
Ok, we`re going have more with Rosie O`Donnell, so sit tight, we have a lot on the way.
O`DONNELL: Right that was painless.
BEHAR: Painless.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Rosie O`Donnell. Now, you know, Rose, you are hosting a documentary series for Oprah`s channel?
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: And your first guest is Chaz Bono.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: Ok. Let`s hear about Chaz. What do you think about that?
O`DONNELL: I think he`s a very brave guy to do what he`s done.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: And so publicly and to share it with this amazing documentary. It`s made by the -- the great documentary filmmaker Fenton Bailey (Ph). And they did the eyes of Laura -- "The Eyes of Tammy Faye, they did Monica in "Black and White". They`re very renowned filmmakers.
And so they did this documentary about Chaz`s transition from Chastity to Chaz. And the OWN Network purchased it. It will be on OWN starting in May and then, following the documentary I will have a program with the audience full of people interested in the subject. With the subject of the documentary and the filmmakers and we`ll discuss that for a post show.
BEHAR: That`s nice. Yes.
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: And I love documentaries.
BEHAR: That`s sounds interesting for you. Yes.
O`DONNELL: For me, you know, I`m a documentary freak.
BEHAR: Yes, I like that. I mean --
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: So when she came over to talk about my other show for her, which is going to be more similar to her daily talk show which will be starting in September. She was talking about the other series that they had, and she mentioned the doc series, and then I was asking have you seen this doc or that doc.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: To Oprah?
O`DONNELL: Yes and then, she said, why don`t you host it? I`m like ok. And that was that.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: So -- I -- I love documentaries and I think any platform that`s going to showcase documentaries films is good.
BEHAR: Do you remember when you were the queen of nice on TV?
O`DONNELL: I do. Do you?
BEHAR: I do. I was on the show a few times.
O`DONNELL: Oh you know, I remember.
BEHAR: But I mean, the queen of nice. Oprah wants to be the queen of nice on the OWN Channel. She says, you`re not going to see word, "bitch"; we`re all going to be nice over there? Do you think that`s going to work?
O`DONNELL: Well, I think it`s her, anything she does pretty much works, right? You know, I think that she has a pretty amazing place in our culture right now. She is like a meteoric type of talent.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: And what she is doing no woman has really done successfully, and I think she`s going to break all kinds of rates --
BEHAR: Well, she certainly has the Midas touch, I mean, she`s golden.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: But she -- she -- I remember, when we were in Chicago, I mean, she has like eight buildings or something for Harpo studios --
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: -- she`s a -- she`s a one-woman conglomerate.
O`DONNELL: Well, she`s one of the richest women in the world, right?
BEHAR: But -- yes --
O`DONNELL: Can you imagine that?
BEHAR: But you know, people the -- the ante has been raised for negative television a little bit, you know.
O`DONNELL: In what way?
BEHAR: Well, I mean, look what -- what gets big ratings.
O`DONNELL: Like "Jersey Shore"?
BEHAR: The "Jersey Shore", the "Housewives" shows; people yelling at each other.
O`DONNELL: Right.
BEHAR: I don`t know that you can sustain a nice show any more.
O`DONNELL: Well, I did on my show for six years --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: But that was then -- this is -- that`s a while ago now.
O`DONNELL: But when I came on TV, Jerry Springer was getting in fist fight every day, Geraldo had his nose broken.
BEHAR: And still is.
O`DONNELL: Well, Geraldo, Jenny -- Jenny Jones. People have been killed who are guests on "The Jenny Jones Show". So there was a culture at that time where animosity and negativity was sort of the main meal that was being served.
BEHAR: Right.
O`DONNELL: And when we offered something else, you know, if you build it, they will come.
BEHAR: Right. But the climate`s a little worse now.
O`DONNELL: You think?
BEHAR: I think, I think.
O`DONNELL: You think you can`t get anywhere without being negative?
BEHAR: Well, not negative, but I think you have to be edgy.
O`DONNELL: And you think edgy always has to have a dark part of it?
BEHAR: Edgy always has a dark part, I think. That`s my opinion.
O`DONNELL: Well, I don`t know, I think that if you`re able to be curious and concerned and willing to share and be vulnerable, that you know, that`s compelling TV, right?
BEHAR: That works, that`s compelling, that could work.
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: I don`t think -- I think you have to have fighting. I think that I --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: No not fighting but edge.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: You know as comediennes, nothing that`s not edgy is not funny in my opinion. If it`s too nice --
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: -- it`s not as funny.
O`DONNELL: Well, I don`t know, I mean, I think, I`m going to be me. I think that the queen of nice was a moniker that I never really deserved. It was just being at that time --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: -- when people were punching each other on TV. Comparatively, I was the queen of nice.
BEHAR: But you`re a -- you`re naturally edgy.
O`DONNELL: Yes. My stand up act was not exactly nice.
BEHAR: No, no.
O`DONNELL: Right, when people would see me do stand up it was -- it was really weird, the first few years of my show was on TV, I was still working in Vegas.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: So I would go to Vegas after like one year and I do my act, and I`d see people on the front row horrified. They get up and walk out.
BEHAR: Right.
O`DONNELL: And I`m like what the hell is happening. They wanted that person they saw on daytime, but that`s not the stand up comic act. You know, my act was all about Woody Allen you know, marrying his daughter and how horrible. Yes, I had to do a whole number 20 minutes on that, O.J. killing his wife.
BEHAR: Ok, we`ll have more Rosie on the way.
O`DONNELL: Ok.
BEHAR: Stay right there.
O`DONNELL: You want to talk about "The View" next? Yes, come on injected ratings.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Ok, I`m back and we`re talking to Rosie O`Donnell. Let`s talk gay for a second.
O`DONNELL: I`m gay, did you know that?
BEHAR: Are you still gay?
O`DONNELL: I`m still gay.
BEHAR: You`re still gay.
O`DONNELL: 100 percent.
BEHAR: That`s good, you know, you stayed with it.
O`DONNELL: Yes. It`s working for me.
BEHAR: Isn`t it more comfortable to be out than --
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: -- when you did, not that you were in when you had your other show in private. You were not. We knew you were gay then. But on the air you had to stay sort of closeted? Right?
O`DONNELL: Yes, but that was before "Will & Grace" was on.
BEHAR: Right.
O`DONNELL: Remember? I was on TV and no reporter even asked me if I was gay. It was before Ellen came out. It was at a time when there was no real Internet gossip sites; it was a whole different world back then. And reporters kind of kept it sort of in the know, it was understood and it wasn`t printed about.
Yes, but then once "Will & Grace" came on and then Ellen when she came out, it sort of changed the whole landscape.
BEHAR: But then you went with that haircut, the whole thing. You went the whole nine yards.
O`DONNELL: Yes. You didn`t like that, did you?
BEHAR: I didn`t care.
O`DONNELL: I went a little crazy.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You were in the process of changing at that point, I think and trying to find who you were.
O`DONNELL: Yes, you know.
BEHAR: You went from one extreme to the other in a certain way.
O`DONNELL: Maybe. You know, I was on TV for six years, and that was a long time between 33 or 34 and 40 years old I was on TV. And then I was 40 and I was all of a sudden out and didn`t have a job, and I thought, let`s try this.
I started doing stand-up at 16. I didn`t do the normal stuff that kids do. I`m going to get the short haircut, I`m going to do a Boy George musical. This is going to be amazing.
BEHAR: I understand. I missed the whole sexual revolution because I was married. And so I went, you know, a little bit crazy but with one guy, when I was 40.
You just want to sort of make it up, you lost a lot?
O`DONNELL: Well, I think that I did make some choices that allowed me to have the career that I have. But I didn`t get to develop sort of emotionally, and I didn`t have the typical phases that kids go through. Not having a mom too, now that my kids are teenagers and they`re separating from me, which is normal and I`ve read all the books, I can`t deal with it. It`s so unbelievably painful for me.
BEHAR: Right. I know. But it`s interesting, your mother was -- you were 10 years old when your mother died. And you did stand up at 16.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: I admire that about you because you were traumatized basically by your mother`s death.
O`DONNELL: yes.
BEHAR: And yet you were able to get on stage very shortly after that. It`s not a long and you were a kid.
O`DONNELL: Right.
BEHAR: How did you do that? What did you draw on in your personality that put you in that spot?
O`DONNELL: My mother loved performing, she loved Barbra Streisand. She would always listen to her, when I came home from school you could tell what kind of mood she is based on what Streisand record was on. And I used to do impressions of Barbra Streisand to make my mother laugh. So the connection I had to my mother was through Broadway and performing.
As soon as I could perform I did and mostly it was in high school productions. Richie Minervini, who you know, comedian who his youngest brother was in a play with me.
And he came over to me when I was a junior in high school and said you should be a comedian. I said no I`m going to be on Broadway. He said, no, you should try stand up. I have a club, come down.
And I went to his club and I started. And I didn`t know anything about it. I watched all the comics, and I thought I could do this. I just have to figure out how to get material.
BEHAR: Right. So how did you get material?
O`DONNELL: Well, first I took Jerry Seinfeld`s.
BEHAR: Oh, exactly. He`s good material.
O`DONNELL: He`s good material.
BEHAR: You picked a good comedian.
O`DONNELL: I watched him on Merv Griffin, I not only did his jokes but I did his cadence. I actually talked like this. I`m thinking, hey, dogs don`t have pockets. That`s what I did.
BEHAR: How did that go?
O`DONNELL: I came off stage and I killed. Richard Minervini and the other comics sort of formed a circle around me and go, where did you get that material. And I go Jerry Seinfeld, he was on Merv Griffin yesterday. Well, you`re not allowed to do that.
I was like why not? He said, well, you have to write your jokes. I go, just so you know, Barbra Streisand does not write any songs she sings. So why do I have to write a joke. I didn`t get it.
But then I waited and I started seeing how people did it. I watched every single night. I went to a comedy club every night from the time I was --
BEHAR: That`s what you have to do.
O`DONNELL: Yes. From the time I was 16 to 25. Larry and I spent many a night in a hotel together.
BEHAR: Larry Amoroso is on staff here.
O`DONNELL: Yes. We did a lot of gigs together. And it was years and years and years we`re doing that.
BEHAR: Well, listen, when I was at the height of learning, I was on - - I would do six sets in one night. At a certain point I would say, did I tell you I was a teacher? Because I couldn`t remember what I said.
O`DONNELL: Exactly. And people, back in the day, when I would go like in `84, I would be on a plane doing a gig like in Indiana and the person next to me would say what do you do? And I say I`m a comedian. They go what do you mean? I tell jokes at comedy clubs. They go, for a living?
Like there was a time where people didn`t even know it was a job option.
BEHAR: Especially for women. I mean no women were doing it in those days. You had Diller, there was (INAUDIBLE) and there was Joan but --
O`DONNELL: When I started, there were about ten of us doing it. There was like Carole Liefer (ph), Elaine Boudler (ph), Rita Rudner (ph). And I never really got to work with them. They would never book female comics together. Remember. And if they did, they advertised it like estrogen night. You`re not going to believe it. We found three funny women, you know.
BEHAR: Wow, unbelievable.
O`DONNELL: So I always hated that we didn`t get to know each other, all the female comics.
BEHAR: Ok. Let me plug your gig again.
O`DONNELL: All right. Go ahead.
BEHAR: Ok. Rosie`s episode of "Who Do You Think You Are" airs Friday night at 8:00 p.m. on NBC. We`ll be right back.
Thanks for doing this.
O`DONNELL: Good to see you.
BEHAR: Good to see you too.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
A.J. HAMMER, HLN HOST, "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT": Tonight on "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT" we have J-Woww, is she really leaving "Jersey Shore"? It`s the headline-making interview you`ll see only on "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT" at 11:00 p.m. Eastern and Pacific.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has revealed a secret he kept to himself for decades. Apparently, he was sexually abused as a child. Here`s a preview of his interview from CBS "60 Minutes." Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You tell us that you were actually sexually abused, more than once?
SEN. SCOTT BROWN (R), MASSACHUSETTS: Yep. Fortunately, nothing was ever fully consummated, so to speak, but it was certainly back then very traumatic. He said, if you tell anybody, you know, I will kill you. You know, I will make sure that no one believes you. And that`s the biggest thing. When people find people like me at that young, vulnerable age, who are basically lost, the thing that they have over you is they make you believe that no one will believe you. You know, you can`t--
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So you never reported it?
BROWN: No. My mom will read about it for the first time. My wife has--
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Didn`t even know.
BROWN: -- read about it -- no, no one, I didn`t tell anybody. That`s what happens when you`re a victim. You`re embarrassed. You`re hurt.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Here with me now are Mark Serrano, sexual abuse survivor and national survivors advocate. Plus, Bethany Marshall, psychoanalyst and family therapist.
Welcome to the show, you guys. Let me start with you, Mark.
BETHANY MARSHALL, PSYCHOANALYST: Thank you.
MARK SERRANO, SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR: Thank you, Joy.
BEHAR: Is it -- is it in any way cathartic to reveal a secret like this, Mark?
SERRANO: Completely cathartic.
BEHAR: It is.
SERRANO: Finally the burden is lifted after 30, 35 years, like many survivors experience.
BEHAR: Senator Brown said that no one would believe you. I know you`re a victim of abuse. Did that -- do you feel connected to that notion? That -- were you scared of revealing it when it happened to you as a child?
SERRANO: Well, Senator Brown probably experienced what I did, which was your instincts are stripped from you. The perpetrator knows how to skillfully remove your instincts to cry for help. And so you`re trapped in silence. And so Senator Brown I`m sure is experiencing something cathartic like never before, except maybe for his Senate win when he won Senator Kennedy`s seat as a Republican.
BEHAR: Bethany, what emotional distress is caused by keeping a secret like this for so long?
MARSHALL: Well, it`s a very good question, because it`s different for men than women. I mean, all survivors experience emotional numbing, difficulty protecting themselves, vulnerability to mood disorders like depression and anxiety, substance abuse throughout the lifespan. But in particular, men are vulnerable to suicide, sexual identity issues, and issues of masculinity. Scott Brown jumps in and says it was never consummated. He`s quick to protect his masculine identity, which is what survivors really need to do.
BEHAR: Oh, that`s so interesting that you say that. Because I was wondering, why did he use that term also. Obviously he`s saying, I wasn`t raped. I was groped or whatever else they did to him. And he used that word, which seemed inappropriate in a way to the discussion of what happened to him. It was odd, wasn`t it?
MARSHALL: Yes, because -- this is why childhood sexual abuse is so cataclysmic. Boys are stimulated to feel physiological arousal when they`re abused. Because of that, they feel ashamed, they feel guilty, they blame themselves, and they repress the entire incident.
Then you asked about, is it important to expose the secret? Yes. Because guilt is a feeling that you`ve done something wrong; shame is the belief that others will look at you as if you`ve done something wrong. And if you keep it a secret your whole adult life, you never have that experience of someone looking at you and saying, it was not your fault.
BEHAR: Yes.
MARSHALL: You did nothing wrong, you`re OK.
BEHAR: Mark, how did this horrible incident or whatever it was, various incidents, impact your life as an adult?
SERRANO: Well, for one thing, I don`t trust people with my children. I suffer from a lot of anxieties in my life.
But you know, what I read in this, Joy, is that Senator Brown recognized that he can begin the process of healing and break the shackles of shame and the guilt in his life from heretofore, largely because I believe he is now uniquely positioned as the one man in America who can probably make the biggest difference in breaking through what is a public safety crisis in America. And he can help make our laws on sex offenders tougher and help enforce them.
BEHAR: Yes. Well, he`s trying to change the law about the statute of limitations, which I think is an outrageous law. Because a child is abused at a very young age, they may not be able to speak about it for many, many years, as you`ve pointed out. They`re fearful or else they`ve repressed the memory, and then by the time they get to it, the guy is off scot-free. So you`re right, I understand exactly what you`re saying. Go ahead, Bethany.
SERRANO: It`s an arcane legal -- it`s an arcane technical legality, and it needs to be eliminated because it enables sex offenders to lurk in our communities like they do today. And Scott Brown is the guy who can change that.
BEHAR: OK. Go ahead, Bethany, what were you going to say?
MARSHALL: Well, it`s true, what you`re speaking about is true, because one in three victims repress the entire incident, OK? And if it is an intrafamilial situation, your own parent molests you, and the younger you are the more likely you will not remember until later in life. And Children need what we call the just witness, that person who looks at them and says, it is not your fault, I know that a very bad thing happened to you. What happens when they want to prosecute the perpetrator and there is no just witness? The just witness says, sorry, your time has passed, we can`t help you with that.
BEHAR: Yes. Isn`t this why some abuse victims are angry also with the other parent? Because they should have been the witness that you referred to, and they should be angry with the other parent?
MARSHALL: Yes, they should be angry with the parent. And also, it`s not just child abuse that traumatizes the child or a one-time incident. If the child is abused and the parent fails to protect them, and then there are multiple abuses after that. So if they have parents who didn`t protect them -- and by the way, not all parents can be perfect and protect their child against every danger, I want to put that out there.
But this--
BEHAR: But in their own home -- in their own home, Bethany. You know, you`d expect the mother or the -- in this case, the mother. In his case, I don`t know, it`s different in his case. But I`m saying if the father abuses the child, where is the mother? Where is the mother? A lot of times they`re in denial, they don`t get it, they don`t see it. What is that about?
MARSHALL: What it is about -- what it`s about is the mothers often have a history of having been sexually abused themselves. So they overlook it, they minimize it, they deny it, and the mother`s relationship with the father, the love object, is more important to them than anything else in their lives. So they throw the child under the bus in order to protect the relationship with their husband or their boyfriend.
BEHAR: That is a terrible thing. That is a terrible -- anyway, it`s just a rough story that he`s dealing with now in public.
SERRANO: Well, he`s making a big difference, Joy, because a lot of people`s lives are being impacted. They`re being empowered to step forward now, and I believe we have got to toughen our laws and eliminate the statute of limitations that you were talking about.
BEHAR: OK.
SERRANO: And it starts with Scott Brown.
MARSHALL: And also what senator -- and what this senator is doing, is he`s protecting other victims. And when patients come to my office and they wonder whether or not they should tell, what`s enormously meaningful for them is to know that when they tell and they put that perpetrator behind bars, they protect other victims, and then they make meaning out of the tragedy.
BEHAR: Right, OK. Thank you very much, guys, for your insights and for sharing your story, Mark.
SERRANO: Thank you.
BEHAR: Thank you very much.
OK, I`m going to switch gears a little bit now, because I`m joined by my favorite doctor on television, Dr. Mehmet Oz. Here he is. Hello, Dr. Oz.
DR. MEHMET OZ: Thanks, Joy.
BEHAR: That`s a hard story to talk about, you know, but it`s very brave of Scott Brown, I think. Don`t you?
OZ: I`ll applaud him. It is wonderful to have someone who is respected as a leader of our nation to step forward and admit something that we know is happening a lot in the country.
If I could just speak to the statute of limitations issue.
BEHAR: Sure.
OZ: One of the reasons that I agree strongly that we ought to abolish that law that protects the perpetrator is that the health effects of these abuses are often only seen decades later.
BEHAR: That`s true.
OZ: We know it increases heart attack rates. We know that it`s linked to some types of respiratory problems like asthma. And autoimmune problems are also dramatically increased. Think about it -- if your brain can`t make peace with something tragic that happened to you as a child, it sends messages through the body, so your immune system can`t tell if you are you or not. So you begin to attack yourself. Vitiligo, which is a -- little white patches that you get on the skin that so many Americans have, it`s not always caused by abuse, obviously, but it`s much more likely to be visible, those white patches, if you have been abused. All kinds of other autoimmune problems, like rheumatoid arthritis, are seen more commonly in folks who have grown up in an environment where they weren`t sure who they were supposed to be.
BEHAR: It`s interesting, because auto -- meaning the self, turning on the self, as a way to deal with it. That is interesting. OK, we`re -- I`m keeping you for several segments. OK, don`t leave that chair. I`m stuttering today, for some reason, I don`t know why. I saw "The King`s Speech" last night, that must be it.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: We`ll be right back with more of Mehmet Oz.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHARLIE SHEEN, ACTOR: So I said, stay away from crack, which I think is pretty good advice. Unless you can manage it socially, Dan. If you can manage it socially, then go for it. But not a lot of people can, you know?
DAN PATRICK, RADIO SHOW HOST: Did you think you could?
SHEEN: Yes, but that kind of blew up in my face.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Yeah. That was Charlie Sheen on the Dan Patrick radio show earlier this week. And we`re back with the host of "The Dr. Oz Show," Dr. Mehmet Oz.
Now, I know you are not an addiction specialist, Mehmet, but do you think there`s such a thing as a functioning addict? Because that`s what -- he`s saying he went to work, so leave me alone. He was able to do that.
OZ: It`s sort of like believing in something -- it`s like a functional cancer patient. I mean, you can go to work, you can function, but you still have cancer, and you want to deal with that.
The biggest problem I have with addiction is not the fact is not the fact that you can get to work. It`s the fact that there`s collateral damage. There are people way beyond you that are often hurt by your addiction. And the fact that it`s a problem, that you have to go to that length to avoid dealing with reality.
BEHAR: Right.
OZ: There are much more important issues than when you show up for work on time.
BEHAR: Yes, indeed, OK. Because even Whoopi Goldberg was saying on "The View," she was saying that she was an -- addicted to drugs at one point and she was functioning. She made movies. I think that`s what they mean, that they can actually get up and go to work and do the job.
OZ: Whoopi is very (inaudible) about this. She tried to do it, like most people, eventually she recognized that it was a facade. Listen, when someone tells you that you have an addiction problem, you have an addiction problem. Just the fact that it came up -- I mean, people don`t bring that up unless it`s something that`s really happening. And people who are addictive are very manipulative. They have to be, because they can`t make sense of what`s going on in their life. They will fight for anything in order to get that next hit. And the fact that you are tied to that, bond to that prevents you from living life as it`s supposed to be lived.
So I think we focus on the wrong things when we talk about getting to work on time or whether you punch a time clock. If someone`s bringing it up to you, you need to deal with it in a real way.
BEHAR: Right. OK. Now, let`s do this other part, because you have some revolutionary essentials for women over 40, which -- when I get to be 40, this will be relevant.
(LAUGHTER)
OZ: One day many years from now.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK, now, let`s go over some of them.
OZ: All right.
BEHAR: Use valerian root to aid with sleeping, you`re saying.
OZ: (inaudible)
BEHAR: What`s wrong with Lunesta?
OZ: You could take sleeping pills. The reason I like to use, if I can, herbal therapies, as long as they`ve been used in -- you know, proven to be effective -- is they can often give you a longer-term benefit. So I like valerian. It actually functions sort of like valium -- it`s not valium, but it has that kind of an impact. It relaxes people.
BEHAR: Really?
OZ: I don`t want you taking it every single day for the rest of your life, but I want women to recognize that not being able to sleep is a big issue.
BEHAR: It is.
OZ: The major way we generate growth hormone, which is that vitalizing hormone that keeps you looking so beautiful and less than 50 and 40 and 30 at the same time is because growth hormone is secreted when we sleep. So when you don`t get that sleep, either because you can`t anymore or because you`re not making time in your life, you are going to age more rapidly.
BEHAR: You know, I know a guy, a comedian friend of mine who committed suicide. And the reason was, this according to his friends, he could not fall asleep for two or three weeks. He couldn`t sleep at all. He was awake all the time, and he killed himself because he couldn`t tolerate it. It`s so important to sleep.
OZ: Within seven days of not being allowed to sleep, most people either die or have a break that is not reversible. So you`re better off foregoing food than sleep.
BEHAR: OK. Let`s talk about sex. The DHEA capsules you`re recommending to boost sex drive. Does it really work for post-menopausal women?
OZ: It can work as long as you`re -- I knew you would bring up sex. I don`t know why--
BEHAR: I wonder why you think that of me.
OZ: The thing about DHEA is it`s the mother of all sex hormones. It is the foundational hormone. So without enough DHEA--
BEHAR: Where do you get it?
OZ: Well, your body normally makes it. But as we get older, we stop making enough of it. And so sometimes we`ll find out the reason our testosterone levels are low, which will cause low libido, or our estrogen levels are all over the place, which will give us hot flashes and the like, is we don`t have enough of that mother of all hormones.
So if you check your level and it`s low, it`s easy to treat. Take it as a pill, it works pretty effectively. Some physicians will give it even without a blood test, based on the symptoms, but I prefer to check the level and then administer it.
BEHAR: And there`s no side effects?
OZ: Very few side effects. As long as you know the level. But Joy, there`s a real issues here -- we are not pushing for those answers. If you go to your physician and they`re not asking you questions, they can`t really tease out whether you`re having a problem with your hormones, you need to push them on it. Because DHEA is one of the most under-diagnosed problems, and it`s a treatable one, as thyroid diseases.
BEHAR: But you know, they keep changing the rules about hormones. You know, it used to be that hormone replacement therapy was really great, it was going to be so great for you. Now we know that it can cause a heart attack and other things, so I don`t take it. You know? Now they`re saying also pelvic exams, you`re only supposed to do them every few years. You know? How often do you have to do it? But don`t do one here right now with me, but tell me, how often -- how often do you have to do it?
(LAUGHTER)
OZ: I think once you get past age 30, every three years is very rational. There`s really no good reason -- certainly get a pap smear.
BEHAR: I thought a pap smear every year.
OZ: No, no, no.
BEHAR: Really?
OZ: Here`s the reason, the recommendation has changed recently, but it`s a very valuable change. We get sometimes stuck in the cement of dogma. The reality is that cervical cancer grows so slowly, that even if you were to go every three years with your tests, you would still catch it in time.
BEHAR: So then why not take it every year? It doesn`t hurt you?
OZ: Well, first of all, who wants to have a pelvic exam if you don`t have to? You enjoy them?
BEHAR: I do not enjoy them.
OZ: Are you sure?
BEHAR: You know, the one time -- I`ll tell you a story -- one time I was in the stirrups getting a pap smear, and my phone went off, and it was playing "When the Saints Go Marching In."
OZ: Oh, I like that!
BEHAR: Is that a moment to savor or what?
OZ: Yes, that`s right.
BEHAR: It`s a fact, I`m not making that up.
OZ: You had a cigarette and relaxed--
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: The gynecologist started grooving. It was awful.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: All right. Now, what is this, you say apply concealer to avoid dark undereye circles. Are you in the business of make-up now?
OZ: No, what we do on the show is, as you know, we try to deliver useful advice that`s affordable and makes sense.
BEHAR: Oh, I see.
OZ: And when I talk about things you want to do that will change your life, you know, there are many of them, I like to focus on things that people haven`t thought of. Concealer you may have thought of, but you might not have thought of zinc.
BEHAR: Zinc, no. What does zinc do?
OZ: Big study, came out that collated about 20 studies that had been done on zinc. Now, a lot of us have thought for a while that zinc would help reduce the common cold. And it turns out, that if you look at all this data together, it will actually reduce a flu as long as you take zinc within 24 hours of first experiencing symptoms. Now, I think it makes so much sense that I would take zinc every single day--
BEHAR: How much?
OZ: 15 milligrams.
BEHAR: 50?
OZ: 1-5. 15.
BEHAR: 15 milligrams of zinc when you first get that little thing in your throat, that little sore throat?
OZ: Yes. Or you shake hands with someone who is sick, or you sort of feel like things aren`t quite right again. And you know what you might want to do because it`s so easy to do? Is take zinc in your multivitamin, take it every day.
BEHAR: Wow. Is that true? Because remember they used to say vitamin C would cure the cold, and then it didn`t?
OZ: Vitamin C does not cure the cold. It`s vitamin C taken in a timely fashion might shorten a cold duration. But you know, it`s very difficult to do studies like that, because we`re so different. You know, I just had an orange before I walked on the set, so I had vitamin C. So if I give myself more vitamin C, am I better off than if I didn`t? So whenever we try to do interventions where we give you something that you can actually get as a food source, then we`re never sure if that`s why you got better or you were healthy to begin with.
BEHAR: OK, all right. We`re going to have more with you, I love this. Dr. Oz, when we come back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Dr. Oz. OK, let`s talk about other health issues from your upcoming show, when you visit the land of Oz.
OZ: Yes.
BEHAR: Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OZ: Here`s the game. No beating each other with the broomsticks. I have got popular sandwiches in front of me. They are ordered at restaurants all over the country, and you`re going to write with those broomsticks the correct answer to each of the options I give you. Are you ready to play?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Ready.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, sir, we`re ready!
OZ: There`s a massive prize at the end.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`ll get you, my pretty.
(LAUGHTER)
OZ: Which is the good witch? That`s the question here. Is it the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or is it the grilled vegetable sandwich?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You guys are wacky. You know what I mean? You`re really wacky with those two witches.
OZ: Oh, my goodness, well, Kathy Lee was the bad witch--
BEHAR: She was the bad witch?
OZ: She was so mad because (inaudible) got to be the good witch.
BEHAR: Oh, yeah. Oh, competitive, those two.
OZ: Yes. They are. And we did this whole show based around the theme of the land of Dr. Oz. And of course the big message, as in the movie, is that you have all the answers within you.
BEHAR: Right.
OZ: And so we talked about the scarecrow, who didn`t have a brain. We talked about things that cause brain problems. We talked about the tin man, didn`t have a heart. So we talked about oils that are good for your heart. And of course the lion was fearful. Panic attacks, talked about that. We did yoga, which is the (inaudible) Toto.
But you know what, we tried to do throughout the entire process--
BEHAR: So it`s like a little gimmick to teach people about health.
OZ: If we celebrate you where you are and make it cool for you to know what to do, then that makes me happy in life, and it makes the audience think you know what, I can actually do that. It takes the intimidation factor out. It`s so important. And that`s what we`ll do, whatever it takes. Whether I dress up like the Wizard of Oz or drag Kathy there--
BEHAR: But who played the Munchkins?
OZ: The Munchkins? We actually thought about that. We were going to have a kind of flashing (ph) dwarf (ph) sign (ph), but we decided not to do that.
BEHAR: No, that`s so tacky.
OZ: That would have been tacky.
BEHAR: To do that, yes. But you were talking about the symptoms of stroke and how women have strokes as well as men, right? And heart disease affects more women than men.
OZ: No. 1 cause of --
(CROSSTALK)
OZ: -- in women is cardiovascular disease, which includes heart and brain. And we talk a little bit about how you can reduce your blood pressure. Simple things do that, things like magnesium or exercise or cutting out some of those saturated fats. When you go out and have a meal that has a lot of saturated fat, the artery of the body spasm. They squeeze down. And of course, that lasts from four to six hours, by which time you have another meal. So women don`t appreciate how much control they have of this process, and because the women`s hearts and brains are more reactive organs than their male counterpart, women are more likely to be affected by emotional stress, which is why we so much -- so often miss that in medicine.
BEHAR: Yes. We suffer. We suffer emotionally because of men, basically.
OZ: Because of us. Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: But what was I going to say to you? What are the symptoms that are different between men and women having a stroke or heart attack? There are different symptoms.
OZ: There are different symptoms. Let me focus on the most important one of all. If -- for women -- if you don`t have chest pain, it`s not -- it doesn`t mean you`re safe. Remember, the No. 1 thing we look for for women is shortness of breath. If you can`t catch your breath, that`s a big issue. And for strokes, it`s simple -- smile. If you can smile, it means you`re aware that I asked you to smile and you`re able to do, which means you used both muscles on both sides of your face and you can actually comprehend what I was saying. So asking someone if they can smile is one of the best ways to figure out if they`re having a stroke.
BEHAR: Wow, that`s interesting. I`ve never heard that. See, these types of things, people need to know this. You know, one time I had an ectopic pregnancy, and I was on the ground suffering with tremendous pain, but the pain that I had was in my shoulders. I had no idea what was happening to me. No one ever said if you have some gynecological issue, you`re going to have pain in your shoulders.
OZ: Absolutely.
BEHAR: You know, so there you have it. OK, now, I heard that Jimmy Fallon had a mole removed the other day on "Dr. Oz." Do you offer this service to all talk show hosts?
OZ: Yes, I do. I -
BEHAR: I have -- I have one right here.
OZ: I noticed that.
BEHAR: Do you see this?
OZ: You know--
BEHAR: Look at that.
OZ: In the break if you want -- we can take -- that will come right off immediately. Like that.
BEHAR: I`ve had this all my life. You now want to take it off? Is it bad? Is it melanoma?
OZ: No, that looks pretty benign. But Jimmy, if you look at him, he`s yelling and screaming, and he is -- we were putting a little injection into his hand. You know, it was nothing. He kept saying his hand looked like Angelina Jolie`s lips. He said it was so swollen, a little cry baby. So I picked that up, and then in return, he lasered my eye and burned me right there. He`s right across the hall from me at 30 Rockefeller Center.
BEHAR: Oh, he is?
OZ: I`ll fix his wagon.
BEHAR: So you can go in there and just take off all his moles on a daily basis.
OZ: I saved his life by taking that mole off.
BEHAR: Yes, give him a pelvic while you`re at it. OK. Be sure to catch "The Dr. Oz Show," every weekday. Check your local listings for times. Good night, everybody. Stay healthy.
END
