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Joy Behar Page
Weekly Roundup; 10 Commandments of Dating; Leon`s Tango
Aired February 18, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Justin Bieber takes on abortion, Chris Rock takes on the Tea Party and Michele Bachmann takes on Michelle Obama. Joy takes on all the craziness.
Then, Patti Stanger gives her 10 commandments of dating.
Plus, HLN`s Richelle Carey previews her exclusive interview with Janet Jackson.
That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: If you wanted to hear about health care and women`s reproductive rights, who would you speak to? The Surgeon-General, Gloria Steinem? If you`re "Rolling Stone" magazine, you`d talk to Justin Bieber.
The 16-year-old pop star gave his opinion on health care and abortion. I can`t wait to hear what he has to stay about the stimulus package.
Here now to talk about Bieber`s comments and so much more are comedian Whitney Cummings; actor and comedian, Bill Bellamy; and Rebecca Dana, senior correspondent for "The Daily Beast". Welcome, guys.
BILL BELLAMY, ACTOR AND COMEDIAN: Now, I`m all for freedom of speech, you know. He can say what he wants. But I ask you, you`re working for "Newsweek", why would the reporter ask Justin Bieber about abortion?
REBECCA DANA, "THE DAILY BEAST": Why not? Justin Bieber is hugely influential. He has millions, billions of followers. I think a reporter should ask whatever the hell she wants to ask --
BEHAR: You don`t think that it was a gotcha question?
DANA: No.
BEHAR: Because people are making fun of it.
DANA: He`s 16 years old. Plenty of 16-year-olds have blogs. 16- year-olds are all over the place. There` no reason --
(CROSSTALK)
BELLAMY: Oh, my God.
DANA: That`s not the reporter`s responsibility.
WHITNEY CUMMINGS, COMEDIAN: He`s 16 years old. What does he know about abortion? His balls haven`t even dropped yet.
BELLAMY: Not yet.
BEHAR: No, that`s true.
CUMMINGS: What does he have -- what does he know about sex. I mean I think the problem is that he`s closer to being a seediest (ph) and being -- like procreating so we get -- there`s empathy there.
(CROSSTALK)
BELLAMY: Ask him about Chuck E. Cheese, stuff like that. Maybe going to the movies. Those topics are a little too over the top for a kid that`s 16.
DANA: Let`s see how Justin Bieber feels about abortion in like, a year and a half, once there have been enough groupies hanging around.
CUMMINGS: The only thing he`d (INAUDIBLE) is hair product. That`s the only thing I would really want him --
BEHAR: He also said that -- well, what about in the case of incest and, you know, rape. And he said, everything happens for a reason. So abortion is out there, also. This idea that everything happens for a reason is ridiculous. I mean how do you explain tsunamis, how do you explain the octo mom?
You know what I`m saying.
(CROSSTALK)
BELLAMY: Octo mom happened for a reason.
CUMMINGS: Eight reasons.
BELLAMY: Eight reasons.
CUMMINGS: But the thing is though that whatever happens for a reason is such a cop out. I mean he clearly just like did not know what to say.
BELLAMY: Exactly.
CUMMINGS: But everything does happen for a reason, like Justin Bieber happened to ruin culture. That was the reason he happened and to make me feel old.
BEHAR: And what about the Bieberites? All the tweens that were furious that Esperanza Spalding got the Grammy. You know, that they were threatening her online and twittering and -- those girls are dangerous.
CUMMINGS: They`re also the same ones who were trying to like get with his girlfriend, Selena Gomez. They were like sending like death threats and stuff like that.
DANA: The thing I fear most out of all this is a Bieber-Palin alliance. Doesn`t that seem like we might get to this point? And then that is when -- I mean these people are almost voting age. That I think could put her in the White House.
BELLAMY: No.
BEHAR: Well, that`s the thing about it. Everybody should have an opinion, but he`s 16 years old and he`s talking about rape and incest.
BELLAMY: It`s a little too much.
BEHAR: And these young girls listen to this haircut, you know what I mean.
BELLAMY: And let me tell you, on Twitter, he can shut you down. We have to be careful what we`re saying about Justin Bieber because if he goes out and blogs you or hits you on Twitter, he`ll shut you down. The Bieber has super powers, Joy.
BEHAR: I think you`re right.
BELLAMY: He does.
CUMMINGS: I don`t know what the questions were exactly, you know what I mean. I might have gotten this (INAUDIBLE). But if I were the journalist I would have sort of been like, hey, why didn`t you get aborted? Too far really -- too far on the comedy show.
BEHAR: Ok. Now, did anybody watch "Good Morning America" yesterday because Michelle Obama was on with George Stephanopoulos. And she`s ticked off -- what did I say? Excuse me. Michele Bachmann. Michelle Obama was fighting obesity in another section of the White House.
But Michele Bachmann was on with George Stephanopoulos and she`s very ticked off that women who are lactating could now not be -- they`re able to write it off on their income tax. Breast pumps, probably the thing -- the little swaddlers that you use the baby could puke on you. All that, bottles -- all that stuff, you could get a write off. She`s annoyed with that. She says it`s a nanny state.
DANA: It`s a nanny state.
BEHAR: You tell me.
CUMMINGS: Are we still talking about Justin Bieber?
BELLAMY: No.
DANA: Speaking of abortion, sorry to cut you off, but I mean these are people who would love to prevent women from being able to have abortions, but God forbid they should save a couple of dollars on a breast pump. I mean it`s like. It`s almost not worth even --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Also what about corporate write-offs. I have a corporation. I write off my hair, my watches, my underwear, my brassieres, everything gets written off, but if a woman`s breast-feeding, she can`t write that off. I don`t get that.
BELLAMY: I think a woman should be able to write off whatever she wants to write off but the guys should be able to write off. Have you ever had that breast pump? When I had my daughter -- come on, can I get a silence on that machine?
CUMMINGS: It`s one thing to say you want to discourage using breast pumps because a woman, someone said I breast-fed all five of my kids. First of all, we get it. You`re unemployed. You have a lot of time on your hands.
BEHAR: That`s not true. But go ahead, we`ll let it pass.
(CROSSTALK)
CUMMINGS: I would like to -- it seems like that was very time consuming, but I would like to maybe eliminate some breast-feeding because I read somewhere that breast feeding is part of why guys are so obsessed with boobs because at a very young age, they learn that boobs is food.
BEHAR: That`s right.
CUMMINGS: So for the rest of our lives, they`re like glued to boobs so --
BELLAMY: It`s still food.
CUMMINGS: If we had breast pumps, guys wouldn`t be as obsessed and on the cover of Sports Illustrated, it just would be like a plastic breast pump like on a beach.
BEHAR: That`s good. Are we done with that topic?
BELLAMY: Yes.
BEHAR: Ok. Now, comedian Chris Rock, he basically in this convoluted statement that he made, but I weeded through it. I weeded through it.
He basically is saying that the Tea Party is full of racists. Granted they`re on their way out. He compares them to kids right before they go to sleep and how kids are acting out and acting out and acting crazy. The Tea Party he says has racists but they`re on their last hurrah before they go to sleep and racism is on its last way out. Do you agree with that.
BELLAMY: I agree with it to some degree. But I think the Tea Party is like Hanson. You`re over it.
CUMMINGS: Speak for yourself, Bill.
BEHAR: Are they like Menudo? Is that what you`re referring to?
BELLAMY: It`s like Menudo.
(CROSSTALK)
BELLAMY: Remember when Menudo was hot? And every Latin kid -- I`m going to be in Menudo. It`s over, dude.
BEHAR: Ricky Martin. You have to emerge from Menudo.
BELLAMY: There you go.
DANA: This is not a new theory, that probably funnier in the words of Chris Rock than others, but it`s not new that there are some racists in the Tea Party.
BEHAR: But do you think it`s almost over? That`s what he`s implying.
DANA: No.
BEHAR: Ok, that was what I thought.
CUMMINGS: I like the metaphor he used that the Tea Party is like kids right before they go to bed like making a lot of noise right before they pass out. I was just thinking like, that never happened to me. I never had that last kick. My mom just gave me a Tylenol p.m.
BEHAR: Maybe they should put the Tea Party on Revalan? Will they come back? All on Revalan.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Ok. Now, Helen Thomas was on my show. And I talked to her about those controversial remarks that she made about Israel and how the Jews should go back to Poland and Germany. I asked her a couple of things. Let`s watch what she said.
(CROSSTALK)
HELEN THOMAS: Where should they go? I mean they didn`t have to go anywhere, really, because they weren`t being persecuted anymore, but they were taking other people`s land.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. She doesn`t back down, by the way, in the interview. She sticks with it. What do you say?
DANA: She`s nuts.
CUMMINGS: Here`s the thing. You`re yes, you`re right. And all the things she said, we don`t agree with, but there`s something -- we`re giving her a little too much credit. She`s obviously just a little old and crazy. It`s like, when I was watching I was like, she shouldn`t say that, she shouldn`t say that. Then I was just kind of like --
BEHAR: She`s a very smart woman. She`s not crazy. Just because she`s 91, you`re being ageist (ph) about it. She`s not crazy. She`s very smart.
BELLAMY: I would like to give her some gingko balboa and ask her the same questions.
(CROSSTALK)
DANA: And Joy, you can say that she`s very smart and apparently she has lived an incredible life, but what about what she`s saying right now? It`s smart. She also said that she would send Jews to Russia.
BEHAR: I know. And back to Germany and Poland where --
DANA: Or just stay in Auschwitz where it`s nice and cozy.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Why did have -- they could have gone -- instead of going to Israel, why didn`t they go back to those countries? Those countries were filled with anti-Semites still, who wanted to kill Jews even after Hitler was dead, do you understand?
So why should they go, why could they go back? Plus, the Nazis completely levelled their homes. They took everything. There was nothing to go back there. She`s very insensitive about this and she refused to say she was insensitive.
DANA: It`s 2011. I can`t believe you`re still having a conversation about Jews and the Holocaust in the state of Israel.
CUMMINGS: It shows because she was -- you said, do you regret, do you want to change -- she`s like, no, I feel I`ve been misconstrued. That`s when your phone does that guess and sends the wrong word.
BEHAR: You know what else she said that was interesting. She said that she didn`t like Obama, that he`s not liberal enough. And she assumed that because he was black, he would be really liberal. And I said well, you can`t judge somebody by the color of their skin.
What do you think about that statement.
BELLAMY: Well, I mean, obviously, Obama is multicultural. He is somewhat a liberal, but the reality of the matter is he`s never going to please everybody. There`s no way. I don`t care if we put a blue man in there. He`s not going to be able to appease anybody.
BEHAR: But do you automatically think someone`s liberal just because they`re black?
BELLAMY: Well, no.
DANA: Like Alan Keyes.
BEHAR: Exactly. Exactly.
(CROSSTALK)
BELLAMY: But I`ll be honest to you when Obama got elected, I thought we -- black people were going to get everything on discount after that.
BEHAR: They were wrong.
CUMMINGS: And now, it`s only breast pumps.
BELLAMY: Now it`s only breast pumps.
BEHAR: Ok thank guys.
Let me give you a plug here. Bill Bellamy is hosting the "Laugh to Heal" comedy show benefiting Rutgers football player, Erick Le Grande, Saturday at the Rutgers Athletic Center. And you can see Whitney Cummings performing at Caroline`s in New York all this week.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I had so much fun with the "Millionaire Matchmaker" Patti Stanger on Valentine`s Day that I brought her back for more relationship advice and to talk about her new DVD, "Patti Stanger, Married in a Year. Hi, Patti."
PATTI STANGER, "MARRIED IN A YEAR": Hi.
BEHAR: You know, I was looking through your stuff and you say the one of your dating commandments -- you have a whole bunch of them, right -- let the man take the lead and let him pay.
Now, take the lead when he`s dancing, yes, but why does a man have to pay?
STANGER: Well, for the first rule is when -- when you pay as a man, I`m going to give, nurture love and totally service you downstairs. I`m not going to service you if I have to pay because then I become the man ok? And then we`re no longer going to have sex because I lost interest, I just close my legs.
BEHAR: See now, that does not sound right to me. First of all --
STANGER: It`s true though.
BEHAR: It`s very retro in a way. It`s like "Mad Men" time. You know and when I first met my guy, we -- I split the bill with him on the date because I didn`t want --
(CROSS TALK)
STANGER: You went Dutch?
BEHAR: Yes.
STANGER: Really.
BEHAR: And -- and believe me, the sex was great. So I don`t think it has anything to do with it.
STANGER: Well, a lot of psychologists say it proves otherwise. But I can understand you -- you`re a very strong woman.
BEHAR: Yes.
STANGER: And not everybody is like you. But a lot of women today even though they`re making money in corporate America, they want to be treated like a lady. And they want to be -- you know, sit back, relax, at the end of the day turn your brain off and just like have a good time. And if they have to worry about the bills being paid, they become the man and then you become --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: But what if the guy --
STANGER: -- you become -- the guy becomes their son.
BEHAR: But what -- really?
STANGER: Yes and they don`t have sex with their son.
BEHAR: What if the guy needs to de-stress and wants her to pick up the check and take care him that night?
(CROSS TALK)
STANGER: Well, we have four to one rule, every four times a man takes you out, you -- you give back on the fifth time.
So it could be cooking dinner, it could be -- it could be cleaning the shirt, it could be taking a man as well.
BEHAR: You know what, there`s -- there`s something about that that sounds like prostitution to me.
STANGER: Well, I can understand that, but a lot of women are complaining today that men aren`t taking them out.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Because they didn`t -- they`re out of work. They don`t have the money.
STANGER: But you know what, too bad, get another job. I mean, they really want to hear that they can`t find work.
BEHAR: You`re all heart Patti.
STANGER: Seriously.
BEHAR: Ok, we`ll move on to something else.
STANGER: Ok.
BEHAR: What about return calls promptly?
STANGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Aren`t you supposed to play hard to get?
STANGER: No that`s the rules, those were back in the 80`s and I love those girls too but if you do not return the call, he moves on to someone else because there are way more women than there are men. So would you return your boss`s call if he called him in 24 hours?
BEHAR: Of course. That`s different.
STANGER: Well, it`s the same thing, it`s called respect.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: I`m not sleeping with my boss.
STANGER: Respect.
BEHAR: So the guy -- how long are you supposed to return it again?
STANGER: No you can, I mean, today, it`s text messaging. I mean, I know, we -- we -- Steve Harvey, we -- you and I were on with "The View" with Steve Harvey --
BEHAR: Yes.
STANGER: -- he says no text messaging. But that`s baloney we`re all text messaging right now. So if he texted you, text him back.
BEHAR: What if you don`t like him?
STANGER: Well, then if you don`t like him, you have to tell him.
BEHAR: You have to tell him. How do you tell a guy you don`t like him?
STANGER: You say, I don`t feel chemistry with you. But if I know somebody`s for you that`s right, I`m going to give to you and then hopefully you`ll do the same for me. And this means you`re not getting sex from me, but if you`re nice to me, I`m going to send you to one of my girlfriends and hopefully you`ll do the return for me.
BEHAR: Well, what if the guy just keeps calling you? And you know, and you can`t get rid of him?
STANGER: Just ignore him, I have one of those right now.
BEHAR: You do?
STANGER: Yes, ignore him, ignore him, ignore.
BEHAR: It sounds like a stalker.
STANGER: But the point is every time I say I met someone and I`m dating someone, the nice little fireman, it`s like, he won`t get the message. He like thinks he can infiltrate the fireman. I`m like, look, I`m not interested so I stopped taking his texts, stop picking his phone calls, and eventually, he`ll get the message. He`ll fall of the cliff.
BEHAR: Right. So you`re dating a fireman, a 9/11 fireman.
STANGER: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s very sexy.
STANGER: I know.
BEHAR: So how long you`ve been dating him?
STANGER: Only a month.
BEHAR: Only a month.
STANGER: It`s new, it`s new. Yes.
BEHAR: Do you like him a lot?
STANGER: I like him a lot. Yes.
BEHAR: Are you sleeping with him?
STANGER: God, my mother`s watching. But yes, I guess.
BEHAR: You guess.
STANGER: You -- only you get this out of me.
BEHAR: I`m not, I`m just asking because you ask all the questions.
STANGER: He`s hot, he`s hot and he`s sexy.
BEHAR: He`s hot.
STANGER: And I don`t think I could resist him, to be honest with you.
BEHAR: Ok.
So, it says in the beginning, leave the past in the past.
STANGER: Yes.
BEHAR: So, when can you talk about the past?
STANGER: It`s going to come out eventually. You`re in bed, you`re lying in bed, eventually he`s going to ask you questions about your past. You`re going to ask questions about his past. I don`t think you should air your dirty laundry and tell him how many men you`ve slept with. I mean, that`s just not going in the right direction.
BEHAR: That`s -- I`m sorry I agree with that.
STANGER: But -- but he could ask you about the last relationship, if you`ve been married, why did you break up, why --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Is there anything you should withhold from your past?
STANGER: Well, I think, if you spend an hour dumping about your ex and how angry you are, he`s going to see that you have resentment issues towards men and he`s going to pull away.
BEHAR: Yes.
STANGER: So it -- you just nip it in the bud, you know what, it didn`t work out, he wasn`t very nurturing but I`m here with you right now.
BEHAR: But what if they had things like you know, you took drugs or you`re a shoplifter.
STANGER: Well, that`s heavy.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Or something like that.
STANGER: You know there`s --
BEHAR: I wonder who I`m talking about.
STANGER: But there are -- there are people like, you know, I have friends who you know, are in the program and they have to talk about their heroin addiction. And they have to talk about their A`s, addiction, alcoholic addiction. So you have to tell the truth on that because they need to know so that they don`t force alcohol down your throat.
And you know and if they don`t want to be with you because of that then they`re not meant to be with you in the first place.
BEHAR: You said something about drinking. Do not drink too much on the date.
STANGER: Yes.
BEHAR: What --what`s the number?
STANGER: Well, I don`t care if you`re an Irish Catholic, it`s a two drink maximum, ok. I don`t care, I don`t care. I want to see you drinking under the table and still stand up. I want to know two drinks, it keep me clear headed. And women cannot hold their liquor. It is of scientific fact. We cannot hold our liquor. That`s why men want to liquor us up.
BEHAR: I see. Well, some women can hold, I know some women with some -- with some wooden legs believe me.
STANGER: Ok.
BEHAR: Oh yes.
STANGER: In Ireland?
BEHAR: No, no, this idea that the Irish drink more than anybody else, you can get in trouble for saying stuff like that.
STANGER: Ok, all right, I`m sorry.
BEHAR: So take it back.
STANGER: Yes. Ok. I`ll take it back.
BEHAR: Oh listen, this is one about, be a good listener. Focus on him. What if he`s a big bore? Out on a date.
STANGER: Well, then you`re not -- you`re not going to want to be with him. Even if --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: It`s the first date.
STANGER: But you can tell, I mean, if you`re having chemistry, you`re having chemistry. I mean, there are those moments when we shut our brain off. And we go, oh my God he`s so hot.
BEHAR: Yes.
STANGER: Now, if Brad Pitt`s sitting across from me, I`m like, oh my God, I`m not hearing what he`s says.
BEHAR: You`re not.
STANGER: No, but they`re --
BEHAR: So is he just gazing out like Nancy Reagan used to do?
STANGER: Yes, but you`re salivating.
BEHAR: Oh Ronnie.
STANGER: You`re salivating, you know, but you`ve got to eventually check in and listen and talk about current events and interests and hobbies and all that kinds of stuff.
BEHAR: Ok. Act like a lady. What exactly does that mean?
STANGER: Well, I mean, we do not appreciate men enough, we don`t say please and thank you. I think so many girls go on a date and don`t say thank you. And you don`t have to thank them the next day, thank them at the end of the date when he hugs you or whatever.
But you have to be a lady, you have to be appreciative even if he takes you to Olive Garden.
BEHAR: So you have to be a lady even if you`re a slut. Is that the point?
STANGER: Pretty much so. Yes. That`s pretty much so.
BEHAR: Ok. Do not become intimate on the first day. Do not make it until exclusivity.
STANGER: Yes. Exclusivity is key because you want him to take you off the market. You don`t want him sleeping with other women. In this day and age, you can die, you can get a disease. You can get oxytocin bonding which is probably the most serious thing that can happen. Fall in love with a loser just because of one good orgasm.
BEHAR: Oxytocin bonding, I love that.
STANGER: Oxytocin bonding.
BEHAR: Sounds like something Rush Limbaugh takes.
STANGER: Probably. Probably in pill form.
BEHAR: Doesn`t it.
All right. Anyway. Thank you, Patti. Very good.
Her new DVD, "Patti Stanger, married in a year" is out now. We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There are basically two ways to immigrate into the US: through an employer or family member.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We don`t have either one.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Your only hope is winning the visa lottery.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What is that?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Lottery (INAUDIBLE)?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What are our chances?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: About the same as winning the power ball. The only way you could legally stay in the U.S. is for you to find a U.S. citizen to marry. The same for you Carlos.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That`s not a bad idea. That`s a good idea.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was actor Carlos Leon, star of the new motion picture, "Immigration Tango". Thanks for joining me Carlos.
CARLOS LEON, ACTOR: Thank you.
BEHAR: You know, you didn`t see it in that clip, but I understand -- well, I haven`t seen the movie yet, so you have to tell me about it -- but I understand there`s quite a bit of nudity in the film.
LEON: There is. There`s a bit of nudity.
BEHAR: But you`re used to that aren`t you?
LEON: I am. I am.
BEHAR: Why are you so used to that?
LEON: I did a play off Broadway with -- I don`t know if you know Wallace Shawn.
BEHAR: Oh, yes. Of course.
(CROSSTALK)
LEON: He wrote -- it`s called "Aunt Dan and Lemon" and --
BEHAR: Tell me he was not nude.
LEON: He was not nude.
BEHAR: Thank you, Jesus.
LEON: But he writes nasty things. I did a play with him, called "Aunt Dan and Lemon" and had to be actually be on stage, naked, being strangled by a 19-year-old woman.
BEHAR: For how long?
LEON: About 12 minutes.
BEHAR: Twelve minutes, naked, full monty.
LEON: Full monty.
BEHAR: Wow.
LEON: And it was very difficult.
BEHAR: The theatres can be chilly.
LEON: I had my warm up.
BEHAR: So how did you feel standing out there all naked like that?
LEON: At first, it was very difficult like everything else. And I`m not going to say I got used to it because every night was nauseating. I mean literally, my preparation was -- I was actually throwing up every night before I go.
BEHAR: Because you had to do that.
LEON: I was so nervous.
BEHAR: I don`t blame you. That`s asking a lot.
LEON: It was a lot.
BEHAR: At the end of the day, did you find it ok. It was ok?
LEON: Well, it definitely opened me up to other things and I guess I`m freer, if you want to call it that.
BEHAR: Yes. That`s fine.
Now, we were talking during the week with you when you sat in with other people for a pop culture panel about you and Madonna and your child, Lourdes. Where did you get the name Lourdes from?
LEON: It`s a town in France.
BEHAR: Yes.
LEON: And so that`s where --
BEHAR: St. Bernadette.
LEON: -- exactly -- where Madonna`s grandmother was from. So that`s where we got the name.
BEHAR: Madonna is part French?
LEON: Yes, on her mother`s side.
BEHAR: Oh, I didn`t know that.
She`s Italian on her father`s side.
LEON: On her father`s side, yes.
BEHAR: So she named her after this place where --
LEON: Lourdes, yes, Lourdes.
BEHAR: I see.
LEON: And Maria -- her middle name is my mother`s name.
BEHAR: You and Madonna were an item. How did you meet each other, by the way?
LEON: I used to see her in Central Park all the time and, you know, I used to -- I`m still into working out. So I was riding by bicycle and we used to say hi to each other all the time.
BEHAR: So, you picked her up.
LEON: Pretty much, yes.
BEHAR: Ok. But you never got married, right?
LEON: No.
BEHAR: How do you -- I don`t have too much time with you, but how do you do the parenting thing with her?
LEON: A lot of communication and that`s what we do. We just communicate. We`re both on the same level with our daughter.
BEHAR: With Lourdes.
LEON: Absolutely.
BEHAR: I see. So, there`s no arguing about discipline or anything --
LEON: Oh, yes.
BEHAR: There is.
LEON: There is arguing.
BEHAR: You have different styles of discipline?
LEON: Yes. I`m not very much a disciplinarian. She is.
BEHAR: Oh, Madonna.
LEON: Yes, I`m a little, you know, flexible with her and freer.
BEHAR: Does she wore those things that she wears those brassieres when she disciplines?
LEON: No, no. I hope not.
BEHAR: The cone boobs.
LEON: She used to wear that when she was disciplining me.
BEHAR: Oh baby.
All right. You can see Carlos Leon in "Immigration Tango" in theaters now.
We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROSIE O`DONNELL, TALK SHOW HOST: My great, great grandfather was here with his wife and four children. Boy, this is creepy and sad; overwhelmingly sad, like I literally have a stomach ache, because you can visualize it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was Rosie O`Donnell on tomorrow night`s episode of "Who Do You Think You Are". She joins me tonight right here. Hi, Rosie.
O`DONNELL: Hi, Joy. How are you?
BEHAR: Great. Everything`s fine. How have you been?
(CROSSTALK)
O`DONNELL: I am really well, really well. Yes.
BEHAR: OK, good. Now, you go on this journey to find your roots and everything else.
O`DONNELL: Yes. Have you seen the show?
BEHAR: No, not yet.
O`DONNELL: You`ve seen the series, though?
BEHAR: Yes, I`ve seen it before. And it`s a little scary. I mean, what if you find out that your relative is like Jack the Ripper or Tom DeLay?
O`DONNELL: Well, that would be scary, I think, for everyone. I told them that I wanted to do my mom`s side because of that. You know, there was some stuff on my dad`s side that was kind of dramatic and chaotic that I knew about.
I said, I`d like to see if you could find out anything about my mother, because she was an only child. And she died in `73, and I don`t really know very much about her or her family at all. My grandfather died before I was born. My mother`s mother lived with us until she died in 1980.
BEHAR: Your grandmother outlived your mother?
O`DONNELL: Yes, she did. And she often talked about that; that the worst thing in the world is to bury a child.
BEHAR: Absolutely the worst thing, it must be.
O`DONNELL: Yes. She used to sit at the kitchen table smoking unfiltered Chesterfields. And she couldn`t see well, so she would put them out on the table, there were little black dots --
BEHAR: Your grandma.
O`DONNELL: Yes. She wasn`t like a functional grandma who could make dinner, but when there was not a mother home and my dad was at work, it was a wonderful thing to have a maternal presence there in the house.
BEHAR: Absolutely. She must have saved your life to some extent?
O`DONNELL: Yes. Without a doubt, and I think that finding out about what her childhood was like and what her father went through was very eye- opening. And it really grounded me, I think, in a way that I never had felt before. Without knowing your history, you`re sort of lost without realizing it.
BEHAR: I know. That`s why adopted kids, I always think they always should go back and find out their roots.
O`DONNELL: I agree.
BEHAR: A lot of people don`t want to, though.
O`DONNELL: You know what`s interesting with my kids when I came back from this trip. I said -- we were all sitting at the dinner table and they said, what did you find out?
I said well, my great grandfather was in Ireland during the potato famine. And they`re like wow, so we came over on the ship -- like they included themselves in my ancestry. Which I thought was really --
BEHAR: They said we?
O`DONNELL: Yes. And my little boy Blake, who`s 11, he said, so this means I`m 100 percent Irish? And he`s like a little Hispanic kid. Well, kind of, honey. But I think when they get to the age where they want to do that, I think they`ll have a much better understanding of what it means to find out stuff that you never knew.
BEHAR: Exactly. How many kids do you have now?
O`DONNELL: Four.
BEHAR: The same kids?
O`DONNELL: Yes, the same -- I didn`t trade them in. I`ve tried, if anyone knows of that program, please contact me. No, they`re teenagers now. I don`t know how you did it, you only have one.
BEHAR: I have one, yes. But one is easy. One is enough. I can`t do more than one, I can`t do it.
O`DONNELL: Well, I have a 15, 13, 11 and 8. And the teenage years are not easy.
BEHAR: No.
O`DONNELL: They`re going through hormones, you`re going through hormones. A lot of changes.
BEHAR: Are you still in menopause? You used to have hot flashes every day when we were on "The View".
O`DONNELL: Done. Started at 41, ended at like 44. After I was off "The View," Suzanne Somers called me up and said, you know, I have a feeling that some of your rage is bio-identical hormones.
BEHAR: Really?
O`DONNELL: I`m like, are you kidding me? She`s like, no, really why don`t you try this. And I went to one of her doctors, and I have been putting that cream on me for the last four years, and I feel a thousand percent better.
BEHAR: And the rage is gone?
O`DONNELL: Kind of.
BEHAR: Really?
O`DONNELL: It depends. If you put me in a certain situation, I`m not promising, you know.
BEHAR: I don`t know about that.
O`DONNELL: Do a split-screen here, we`ll see what happens. OK, Behar. That`s all I`m saying.
BEHAR: You never know what`s going to happen with you.
O`DONNELL: You never know.
BEHAR: Well, that`s what`s good about you. We never know what`s going to happen.
Now, there was a photograph in this show of you that was an unknown woman, who was that woman? This picture is hanging in the house for 20 years.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: And you don`t know who she is.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: Did you ever ask who was that woman?
O`DONNELL: We asked my Nana. It was a huge gold framed portrait of - -
BEHAR: There it is in that show.
(CROSSTALK)
O`DONNELL: Yes. In the 1800s, that`s a smaller copy of it. But the one we had was really huge. And we always said to my Nana who is that? She said, somebody on Danny`s side, that was her husband. And we said who? She goes, I don`t remember. So we never knew.
And through this show, we find out who that woman was.
BEHAR: Who?
O`DONNELL: It was my grandfather`s first wife. And what happened to her is kind of shocking and amazing.
BEHAR: She died.
O`DONNELL: Horrifically.
BEHAR: Oh, really?
O`DONNELL: And there were children involved. And then we found relatives we didn`t know we had. But I was really kind of amazed to think that it meant so much to my family that my grandfather would have insisted that this portrait be carried from home to home to home, but nobody would tell the story. It`s typically Irish.
BEHAR: They were scared to talk about it. It was too painful.
O`DONNELL: And traditionally, I think Irish people don`t share their emotions very well, culturally.
BEHAR: Oh, nobody does.
O`DONNELL: Well, I always felt like the Jewish people in our town, the Italians, they always kissed their kids, they said I love you. There was more emotion. The Irish, which is sort of cold and cut off.
BEHAR: Well, not all.
O`DONNELL: I don`t know, that was my experience, and from what I have experienced culturally, that`s what I know. But we never talked about it.
Same with when my mother died, it was never mentioned again.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: My siblings never --
BEHAR: My aunt Rose had a mother-in-law who was the biggest bitch in New York. She was Italian; she was cold and mean and rotten.
O`DONNELL: Well, I`m not saying that all Italian people are nice. But I`m saying as a culture, they`re maybe more emotive than the Irish, you know.
BEHAR: I`m just saying. They are emotive but they can be mean too.
O`DONNELL: Yes, you know. I know a couple of mean Italians.
BEHAR: Yeah, right. What was the most interesting thing you found out about your mother? Or your mother`s side. Besides this woman?
O`DONNELL: Yes. The woman`s story was pretty fascinating. There were relatives that we didn`t know of, who are now in their 90s, and there were ten children in this one family, and all of them are still alive.
BEHAR: Where are they? In Ireland?
O`DONNELL: Now, they`re in New Jersey because my mother is originally from Jersey City. So I walked into this Italian restaurant in Jersey City, and this table, 10 elderly people. And a 90-something-year-old woman named Grace starts to cry. And her eyes get filled up, she says I remember you. I said where did you remember me from? You were a little girl in Jersey City in the apartment with tap shoes on and you had bangs. I said, no, that was my mother. She`s like, no, you have the same face. I said no, it was my mother.
So I had just seen a film of my mother at that age, at five or six years old, dancing in black and white. And that`s what this woman had remembered. So it was kind of interesting to see people thought we looked alike, people thought we had similar affect, similar personality.
BEHAR: Did you find anybody in Ireland back in the day in the 1800s that was interesting in some way? Besides this woman that you talked about. We`ll have to wait to see the show to see all that, but what about anybody else?
O`DONNELL: My great grandfather was a farmhand. And my great grandmother was apparently from a very rich family. And my great grandfather was Protestant, but lied and said he was Catholic on all the immigration forms. But my great grandmother was from a very rich family and they sort of disowned her, we think, because she married a Protestant.
BEHAR: She married for love.
O`DONNELL: And she ended up in the poorhouse, which I didn`t even know, that`s what that footage was from. There were literally places that looked very much like a concentration camp, where Irish families during the potato famine who were poor were brought in. Mothers and fathers were separated, the children were separated, under two years old the kids were taken, heads were shaved. They were given rags to wear and only two ounces of potatoes.
So it was all a part of Irish history that I didn`t even know had existed, and my family was in there for over eight years.
BEHAR: There were a lot of secrets in Ireland. Did you ever see the Magdalene sisters?
O`DONNELL: I sure did.
BEHAR: And the priest scandal in Ireland. Of course, that`s all over the world. I mean there`s a lot of secrets in this world.
O`DONNELL: Yes. Well, that`s what I was saying, and it`s culture that doesn`t really express feelings or emotions, they`d rather pretend something didn`t happen or just avoid it.
Like when after my mother died, we weren`t really told anything, we weren`t ever encouraged to talk about her. My brother Eddie went on this journey with me. It was really the first time in over 30 years that he and I spoke about my mother.
(CROSSTALK)
O`DONNELL: That he said to me, this is mommy`s uncle, and 38 years of not hearing that word from a sibling was very, very kind of jarring and overwhelming. It was very powerful.
BEHAR: Powerful stuff.
I think the show can be very interesting for people like you who really -- first of all, you`re very inquisitive, you want to know. You carry around the pain of your mother still, which we see very often on television, it just comes out of you.
O`DONNELL: But I`ll tell you, it just sort of reframed that for me, because I think we all take our life history and put the hardest thing in the middle and then frame it and carry it around, this is what I survived. Knowing what my family survived in order to get me here sort of broke apart that frame and allowed me to have a more global view of my place in the world and my own pain comparatively to my family.
BEHAR: And the things you find out. I found out, for example, when they did my genealogy that my grandmother on my father`s side, they were in Turin, and that grandfather came to Brooklyn and forgot to go back. And she wrote him a letter and said if you don`t come back and get us, I will kill myself and the children.
Dramatic.
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: Did he come back?
BEHAR: Dramatic.
O`DONNELL: But at least showing feelings.
BEHAR: Yes.
(CROSS TALK)
O`DONNELL: The Irish person would have said, could you drop me a line -- you know something like that.
BEHAR: No, it`s very Italian to have an opera about it.
O`DONNELL: Oh yes, yes.
BEHAR: You know, I`m going to kill myself and the children.
O`DONNELL: Right.
BEHAR: He went back right away and took them back to Brooklyn.
O`DONNELL: No kidding.
BEHAR: And that`s how we got here.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: So you know, you find out stuff about your relatives, you know.
O`DONNELL: Yes, weird creepy stuff.
BEHAR: A lot of it is weird and creepy.
OK, Let me plug your gig again.
O`DONNELL: All right. Go ahead.
BEHAR: Ok. Rosie`s episode of "Who Do You Think You Are" airs Friday night at 8:00 p.m. on NBC. We`ll be right back.
Thanks for doing this.
O`DONNELL: Good to see you.
BEHAR: Good to see you too.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GIRALDO, COMEDIAN: We are a lucky, spoiled and gluttonous country. I was at a restaurant recently, the waitress said, "hey, did you leave any room for dessert, did you leave any room for dessert, did you leave any room for dessert?" How gluttonous a concept is that? Did you leave any room? Is there more space in your fat, distended, bloated body cavity for more? Any chance you could put more in there? Is there any room, any space? Is there any possibility for more being crammed in your fat head? Any chance at all? Any room? We have got two lunchers (ph) who will come out and cram food in your bloated esophagus.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was the late Greg Giraldo, who died this past autumn after an accidental overdose. Joining me now is Greg`s wife, Maryann McAlpin-Giraldo and Greg`s good pal, Colin Quinn.
All right, let`s talk about Greg for a minute. Now, he suffered from depression. Was he self-medicating, do you think? Because he had an overdose on prescription medication, I understand.
MARYANN MCALPIN-GIRALDO, GREG GIRALDO`S WIFE: Right. I think so. He definitely struggled with depression. And I think he used alcohol to -- and other things -- to help him with that.
BEHAR: A lot of people do that.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: What happened that he passed away from it? Too much?
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: A lot of people try. They mix things up.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s too bad.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: And I think when you do that for so many years, obviously it doesn`t get better with years. It gets worse.
BEHAR: It`s so heartbreaking that -- such a funny guy. We hate to lose comedians, right, Colin?
COLIN QUINN, FRIEND OF GREG GIRALDO`S: That`s right.
BEHAR: Whenever I hear a comedian dies, a little something in me dies. Even when Paul Lind (ph) died -- you know, right--
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now, now, supposedly Greg suffered from fear of failure, which I -- who doesn`t suffer from fear of failure? Don`t we all suffer from that a little bit?
QUINN: Sure.
BEHAR: Do you?
QUINN: Well, I`ve failed many times and succeeded very few in my life. I don`t know if you noticed, the effort, I don`t know if you noticed the Herculean effort I`ve put into this business, and they keep trying to reject me and I don`t like it. So--
BEHAR: I know, well--
QUINN: I really don`t take failure -- I don`t consider it failure. I`ve gone past that point to psychosis.
BEHAR: I`m glad to see you`re not bitter.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now, Greg was called the comic`s comic. Which -- what does that mean exactly to you?
QUINN: Well, a comic`s comic is, you know, the guy that comics like. You know, where people go in the room to watch him because he always had funny stuff that worked for the crowd, but it worked for the comedians, too. And he`s always doing -- he always had a lot of new material, which made new material funny like that was really something to watch.
BEHAR: I always thought that Larry David was considered a comic`s comic.
QUINN: Get away from me.
BEHAR: Because he would do -- he would have a breakdown if they weren`t laughing. So -- but the comedians loved that.
QUINN: That`s right.
BEHAR: We would wait for him to have the breakdown. You know, so that was -- but he`s obviously a brilliant guy. And also Gilbert Gottfried was like that, too.
QUINN: Yes, that`s right.
BEHAR: He was another one. And so Greg was like that, where the comedians would make an effort to go to make sure they saw him.
QUINN: Right.
BEHAR: OK. So now what`s this fund? Oh, you also you guys did something at the Beacon the other day.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: Which my daughter went to--
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Oh, really.
BEHAR: And she said it was very funny. Were there any women comedians there?
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Well, Judy Gold was supposed to be there, but she --
BEHAR: I said women comedians.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: No, she wasn`t there.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: She was in the theater, so she couldn`t make it, and Colin was as well, but he did make it.
QUINN: Yes, I did and Judy didn`t. Which is not a reflection on Judy. I rushed over from my show, but apparently Judy`s busy. Theater, what`s she doing?
BEHAR: So there were no women comedians there?
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: There were no women.
BEHAR: Do you regret that?
QUINN: Judy canceled! Do you understand what happened?
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Wait a second, I don`t want to start a fight with you. How many comics were actually in this thing?
QUINN: 16.
BEHAR: 16. And--
QUINN: No, eight.
BEHAR: Only eight.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: No, no, only eight. So the problem was that there`s too many people that needed to be there at the end. So that`s where the conflict came up.
BEHAR: OK. So now you have a fund. Tell me about the fund, that you`re going -- that`s why you`re here, to talk about that.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes. So the fund was created to turn, you know, my family`s tragic situation into something good for children, because in my opinion, children are the ones that really have suffered the most with addiction and alcoholism. And we`re creating this fund to raise money to, you know, to create programs for children to go and have support and have consistent adults in their life, and possibly at some point to do a summer camp where they could, you know, get to know other kids that are going through something similar so they can support each other.
BEHAR: I see. That`s good, that`s good. You have a kid yourself, right?
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: I have three children.
BEHAR: How are they doing?
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: They`re fine. They`re OK. It`s a tough year of course, they just lost their father four months ago. So it`s a tough time, but they`re doing OK.
BEHAR: It`s a hard thing to tell children, isn`t it?
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: Very hard thing.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: And so, OK, that`s great.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Yes.
BEHAR: We have some kind of a banner here to tell people where to go.
QUINN: Which street is this supposed to be?
BEHAR: This street behind me? The Empire State Building.
QUINN: I know.
BEHAR: Do you recognize it or--
QUINN: Yeah, but I`m saying, which street is this building supposed to be?
BEHAR: What are you talking about?
QUINN: I`d say it`s supposed to be about 23rd Street.
BEHAR: No, no, no, this is the Upper West Side. Look at--
QUINN: No. Look at the Empire State Building`s position.
BEHAR: I know, that`s over there. Over here is the Upper West Side.
QUINN: No, this must be about 23rd and 7th.
BEHAR: How much longer are you going to be on Broadway?
QUINN: Maybe -- I don`t do it for me at this point, Joy, it`s for the crowd, but I`m probably just --
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: How much longer?.
QUINN: With this show, three weeks. But who knows what the future holds.
BEHAR: Three more weeks? They extended you.
QUINN: Billy Eliot (ph) has got something coming up. What`s that?
BEHAR: They extended you.
QUINN: Yes, extended twice. Doesn`t matter, I don`t (inaudible) the ego.
BEHAR: It`s called "Long Story Short." And it`s at what theater?
QUINN: The Helen Hays. So it`s not -- yeah.
BEHAR: The Helen Hays. So people might want to buy tickets. They can still see it.
QUINN: If they want to buy tickets, they can.
BEHAR: Yes. All right.
QUINN: Or telecharge (ph). I don`t want to make a big production. It`s Helen Hays, every night at 8:00, 3:00 on Saturday.
BEHAR: Yes, he`s exhausted. He`s exhausted. You never worked so hard in your life.
QUINN: When you give, you`re exhausted. And that`s -- I give every night.
BEHAR: Give and give and give and give. All right, thank you.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: All right, you guys, thanks for stopping by.
QUINN: Thanks, Joy.
BEHAR: For more information on the Greg Giraldo fund for families living with addiction, go to nationalyouthrecovery.com.
Good night, everybody. Say good night, Gracie.
QUINN: Good night.
MCALPIN-GIRALDO: Good night.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Janet Jackson has fame, fortune, and as we all know, a father. Take a look at this sneak peak of her upcoming interview with HLN`s Richelle Carey.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JANET JACKSON: My father was very, very strict. My father, he wasn`t always so pleasant to be around for me. I won`t speak about the rest of my brothers, and I`ll let them tell their own story when they`re ready, but for me, sometimes he wasn`t in the greatest mood.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Joining me now is HLN`s Richelle Carey. Richelle, what else did she tell you about her father?
RICHELLE CAREY, CNN HEADLINE NEWS: That they were not allowed to call him dad, which I don`t think very many people could relate to.
BEHAR: No.
CAREY: No, they had to call him Joseph. That he -- that their mother was somebody they loved to be around, Joy, they would all gather in their mom`s bedroom and play on her bed, but when they would hear their dad literally coming up the driveway, Joy, they would just scatter and leave their mom`s bedroom because they didn`t really want to be around him.
BEHAR: Right.
CAREY: And it sounds like maybe that meant that he was abusive. Well, he actually only laid hands on her one time, one time, but it was when she`d gotten out of a bathtub and she was wet, and he whooped her when she was wet.
BEHAR: While she was naked?
CAREY: While she was naked, while she was wet--
BEHAR: Oh my God.
CAREY: -- and left welts on her. So it was only -- so you may say he only hit her one time, but it was one very, very dramatic time.
BEHAR: That`s--
CAREY: Go ahead.
BEHAR: That`s traumatic.
CAREY: It is. It is.
BEHAR: Oh my God. What about Michael? Did she talk about her brother?
CAREY: She talked about her brother a lot, because she was closest to her brother Michael and her brother Randy because they were the three youngest, and so clearly she`s still having a very difficult time trying to live without him. She says that she knows that for a time, it wasn`t very healthy the way she was trying to move on without him. She wouldn`t -- she still hasn`t seen "This Is It," still hasn`t seen it.
BEHAR: She still, yes.
CAREY: But she says that she did have what she called like a Michael weekend, where she did watch some of his videos. But growing up, they were very, very close. They would sometimes just ride around in his car at night and just talk about things. So to not have that closeness with her brother again is very difficult. But she`s trying, trying to move forward, but she still has not been able to watch "This Is It."
BEHAR: Right. They sound like they were pretty damaged in that family, to tell you the truth. But you know, she also struggled with her weight. What did she tell you about that?
CAREY: She struggled with her weight from the time she was 11, Joy. And I think that women can understand a weight struggle, but 11 is something that I don`t think very many of us can relate to. But she`s been in the public eye from the time she was very, very young.
She admits to abusing laxatives. She said that one time, she was on a set when she knew it was time to take another laxative because she started to take on water, and she thought her pants were literally going to pop. And I go, Janet, is that the moment that you knew you were in a cycle you needed to kind of get out of? And she said, yes, I knew something was wrong when I knew my pants were about to pop. But she admits starving herself from the time she was 11 years old because that`s how badly damaged her body image was. But she says she`s in a much, much better place now.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Well, Richelle, it sounds like a really interesting interview.
CAREY: It was great.
BEHAR: I rally do, I look forward to watching that.
CAREY: Thank you, thank you.
BEHAR: OK. And you can see the full interview, Janet Jackson, the HLN interview this Sunday at 7:00 and 10:00 Eastern only on HLN. Good night, everybody.
END
