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Joy Behar Page
Joy`s Wild Kingdom; Mireya`s Journey; Interview With Alice Cooper
Aired March 18, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: You know, I get letters from viewers all the time. They want me to interview certain guests or they want me to cover certain stories, but lately I`ve been getting letters asking me if I`d ever have a co-host.
So I thought, why not. Regis has Kelly, Meredith has Matt. So, I thought I`d give it a try. Ok, gum-gum, tell them we`ll be right back. Here tell them. Go ahead. Come on. You know, they told me he was difficult to worth with. Here. Eat it.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, from NFL cheerleader to animal expert, Mireya Mayor will tell Joy what it`s like to spend every day with snakes, monkeys, and other creatures. And she even brought along some friends for Joy to meet.
Plus original shock rocker Alice Cooper tells Joy about being inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame, his battle with alcohol, and his work with other troubled stars.
That and more starting right now.
BEHAR: What if your typical day at the office involved getting bitten by snakes, attacked by an angry swarm of wasps, or charged by gorillas? Check this out.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MIREYA MAYOR, ANIMAL EXPERT: This is the silverback. It`s the dominant member of the group.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The charge, while terrifying, is a bluff, a display of his physical power. But it sends a clear message.
MAYOR: Clearly, the aggressive, dominant male is the leader of the group and where he wants to go, he goes, and I will clear his way.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Oh, you big gorilla. That was National Geographic`s Mireya Mayor, who`s known as the female Indiana Jones and who`s also known to have Xanax for lunch. She`s the author of "Pink Boots and a Machete"; and she and a friend join us now. Welcome to the show, Mireya. This is what?
MAYOR: This is a slow Loris (ph) and these guys are found in --
BEHAR: Why do you say he`s slow? Is he like he`s not --
MAYOR: He`s slow because that`s how he defends himself against predators. They`re very quiet and cryptic. And that`s how they move. They`re great in the trees, just very slow.
It`s found in Southeast Asia and they`re very cool, because it`s the only primate known to have a toxin. So you can touch it actually.
BEHAR: What do you mean it has a toxin?
MAYOR: Well, between -- you can touch it.
BEHAR: Is it poisonous?
MAYOR: Well, it is, if it mixes it with its saliva. So what it does is it licks its arm, where the gland is, mixes it with the saliva, and then when it bites the predator, it causes swelling and pain. But the coolest part is for the babies, it`s great because the mother has to go out to forage to find food. Parks the baby.
BEHAR: Is this a baby?
MAYOR: No, this is a full-grown animal.
BEHAR: How big are the babies? This big?
MAYOR: Well, the babies are pretty small. She`s wholesome.
BEHAR: Get a shot of his face.
MAYOR: And then she doesn`t need a babysitter, because they`re just coated in poison.
BEHAR: You can`t see his eyes, though. He looks like one of the Olsen twins. Look at him. Look at that face. Isn`t that cute?
MAYOR: And the big eyes are perfect because it`s nocturnal, so it takes in a lot of light.
BEHAR: I saw a thing where they like to be tickled, these animals. Is this the one --
MAYOR: Well, you know, what happens is in Japan, it likes to be scratched back here.
BEHAR: Well, who doesn`t like that?
MAYOR: Exactly.
BEHAR: But I saw the tickling. There was -- can I tickle it?
MAYOR: These guys -- what happens is that up there they`re hunted because people want them as pets, especially in Japan. So that`s probably what you saw. They were really popularized on YouTube. So normally not the tickling.
BEHAR: I`m starting to get a little stink.
MAYOR: Yes, it`s not me. It`s not me.
BEHAR: Let me smell him up closer.
MAYOR: Here you go. It`s like a loris on a stick.
BEHAR: It`s not too bad.
MAYOR: It`s ok.
BEHAR: Lady Gaga will make a perfume out of it.
So I can`t tickle him. Ok.
MAYOR: Well, you know, you could try.
BEHAR: Is this an endangered species?
MAYOR: This is an endangered species.
BEHAR: Really?
MAYOR: They`re vulnerable to endangered, depending on the listing. I say they`re endangered because their habitat is disappearing. So once their forest is gone, where are they going to go? So definitely they`re all endangered.
BEHAR: So who`s trying to save them? Is anybody poaching this animal?
MAYOR: They`re being poached --
BEHAR: For what?
MAYOR: Because people think that they`re good for traditional medicines, for spiritual reasons, and then again, for the pet trade -- you know, very popular.
BEHAR: Oh, I see. Well, for pets, I guess it`s not horrible, but what kind of spiritual --
(CROSSTALK)
MAYOR: Well, it is horrible, because they make terrible pets.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s crazy.
MAYOR: Yes, I know. Exactly. No, it`s not true basically
BEHAR: That`s -- I love you. What`s his name?
MAYOR: This is gum-gum.
BEHAR: Gum-gum. Thank you for being on the show. Do you have any -- ok, what`s the next one?
MAYOR: We`ve got more. We`ve got more.
BEHAR: And he`s using those -- what`s in the cup? He eats in the cup?
MAYOR: Here you go.
BEHAR: Worms. That`s ok, that`s all right. No.
MAYOR: You sure?
MAYOR: This one`s -- I didn`t give it to him, because they`re nocturnal. Right now it`s going, I`m kind of sleepy, I don`t really want any food.
BEHAR: I see. Didn`t you tell me during the break that you ate those worms?
MAYOR: Yes, I`ve had to eat grubs in Tanzania because we ran out of food and for many days didn`t have anything. Finally came upon some grubs and they squish in your mouth and they`re really gross.
BEHAR: Disgusting.
MAYOR: Yes. I don`t love them. You fry them up and you see their hairs singing.
BEHAR: What kind --
(CROSSTALK)
MAYOR: This is a ring-tailed lemur. This is one of my favorite and I`ll tell you. You`ll like this one.
BEHAR: Why?
MAYOR: Female dominant. They live in female-dominant societies. Like, the men -- the males get no breaks.
BEHAR: It`s like "The View".
MAYOR: It`s just like "The View". This should be "The View`s" mascot. You sometimes see the males like going to the best leaf tree and they get booted out and they cry because they can`t eat any of the fruit. It`s awesome. They`re great. They`re tough.
BEHAR: So this is a female?
MAYOR: This one here`s a male. So the males do something rather cool.
BEHAR: What?
MAYOR: They stink fight.
BEHAR: Stink fight.
MAYOR: Does that sound familiar? The males stink fight. So they have these scent glands --
BEHAR: Is this like a kangaroo-type animal?
MAYOR: No, it`s a primate --
BEHAR: Oh, it`s a monkey.
MAYOR: -- like me, you, a chimp, a monkey. It`s not
BEHAR: How about the loris, was that a monkey too?
MAYOR: It`s a primate. This is not a primate, it`s a lemur. I`m sorry, not a monkey, it`s a lemur, which is different, but related. Monkeys are primates and lemurs are primates. And these guys are found only in Madagascar.
But the males, they will rub their tail with these stinky scent and they will put it over their heads -- in fact, give me a piece of paper that you don`t mind being scent marked. Watch. See if he does it. Here you go.
BEHAR: He could produce the show. Those are my notes.
MAYOR: Well, he`s scent marking your notes.
BEHAR: I love it. Do we have an opening for a scent producer here?
MAYOR: So they do this to the trees to let people know that they`re there.
BEHAR: I love his body, but his face is not that thrilling.
MAYOR: Oh, you didn`t hear that.
BEHAR: No. Close his eyes -- his ears.
MAYOR: See what he`s doing with his tail. It`s getting ready. He wants to stink fight you.
BEHAR: Oh, really? Oh, my God.
MAYOR: Look, look, look, he`s getting ready.
BEHAR: He`s not cute now.
MAYOR: Well, you did say it wasn`t cute.
BEHAR: Boy, oh, boy.
MAYOR: Yes. I know, she didn`t mean it. She didn`t mean it.
BEHAR: Let`s go to another one. Bye.
MAYOR: Bye. Oh, look at that.
There you go.
BEHAR: I`m a little frightened of this one. The lemur was a little bit less frightening than this one.
MAYOR: We`ve got one more.
BEHAR: What have you got?
MAYOR: Can I borrow a tissue real quick for my banana hands.
BEHAR: Yes. Aren`t you pregnant?
MAYOR: With twins.
BEHAR: So doesn`t this sort of animal husbandry, as it were, interfere with your, you know, gestation period or whatever --
MAYOR: No, so far, so good. I`ve actually taken -- I have two other kids. I can tell by the look in your eyes. Oh, here we are.
BEHAR: I`m not really fond of snakes, except in handbags, possibly.
MAYOR: Oh, no.
BEHAR: And even that, I`m just kidding. I would never.
MAYOR: Here we go. This one`s a heavy one. This is a python. This is a Burmese python. And I`m very familiar with pythons, because in Madagascar, the snakes are non-venomous. You would like that.
BEHAR: This one doesn`t bite.
MAYOR: It bites, but it`s non-venomous.
BEHAR: Didn`t you say every animal bites?
MAYOR: Every animal bites. And these snakes here, what they use is constriction to kill their prey.
BEHAR: They strangle you?
MAYOR: Extremely powerful animals, very muscular. But in Madagascar, you often see them on the road and they become road kill. So I kind of picked him up. I had my 9-month-old with me one time, and I picked up the snake, and she was crying. So I picked her up too. And turns out they make great teething rings.
BEHAR: Stop it.
MAYOR: Well, I don`t know but my 9-month-old was crying. She was teething and she used the snake as the teething ring.
BEHAR: And it didn`t mind?
MAYOR: It didn`t mind and she was happy and I wasn`t going to like stop the whole process.
BEHAR: Oh, my God.
MAYOR: it was great.
BEHAR: Look at the tongue action on this thing. It`s like Gene Simmons.
MAYOR: We might have to nickname him, seriously.
BEHAR: This is a beautiful coat. This is gorgeous.
MAYOR: It`s gorgeous. And you know, snakes get a bad rap.
BEHAR: I don`t like them to do any -- to cut the skin off of this and make handbags. These must be endangered, yes?
MAYOR: Well, yes. Snakes, you know, the problem is that they get such a bad rap. The locals are really usually very afraid of snakes.
BEHAR: It`s coming towards your breast. Do you care?
MAYOR: That`s ok. Should I say I`m used to it? I don`t know what to say.
BEHAR: Does this animal have a name?
MAYOR: I don`t know, does this one have a name? Pearl.
BEHAR: Pearl. That`s Steve`s mother`s name. I`m just saying. It was. She died but that was her name, Pearl.
MAYOR: Coincidence or --
BEHAR: Hello Pearl. Hello. Maybe she came back as a snake.
MAYOR: You never know. Am I going to get in trouble for this?
BEHAR: I`m just kidding. His brother might be watching. I`m just kidding. I don`t mean any harm by that. But it`s an interesting coincidence.
MAYOR: So you don`t want to carry this?
BEHAR: That`s all right.
MAYOR: No, you`re good.
BEHAR: You carry it, that`s fine. You`re carrying twins. You`ll carry the snake. You carry it all.
We`ll have more with Mireya when we return. She`ll tell us how she went from NFL cheerleader to explorer, yes. What a jump that was from cheerleader.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with a Mireya Mayor, author of "Pink Boots and a Machete". So we kept Delores here. I like to call him Delores.
MAYOR: Ok.
BEHAR: Because he is a Loris, right?
MAYOR: He is a Loris. That`s a great name.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: So Delores the Loris.
MAYOR: It`s more sophisticated than gum-gum.
BEHAR: Yes, gum-gum, Delores is his name.
MAYOR: Ok.
BEHAR: Even though he`s a boy.
MAYOR: Did you hear that?
BEHAR: Yes but you know --
MAYOR: He`s going to get teased a lot, Joy.
BEHAR: Yes I know but -- we`ll keep him but the snake was really sort of scary, I`ll tell you the truth.
MAYOR: The snakes get a bad rap. You saw him.
BEHAR: Yes.
MAYOR: He`s nice to feel, isn`t it?
BEHAR: Yes but when I think of a boa, I think of earrings and a wrap. I don`t think of a snake. Because I`m such a Brooklyn girl, you know.
Now, how did you go from being an -- NFL cheerleader to a -- an explorer, what you do? How did that --
MAYOR: It seems logical doesn`t it, that transition? Basically, I took a class in college, anthropology class and I fell in love with primates --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Where was that?
MAYOR: -- at the University of Miami. And when I got to the section on primates, I started learning about so many of them that were on the verge of extinction. Never been studied before, so they were about to disappear from the earth and we knew nothing about them.
I couldn`t even find a photograph of these animals, just line drawings. And that`s when I decided I wanted to head off and -- and study them. Plus, I watched "Gorillas in the Mist" and I saw Dian Fossey you know like --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Yes.
MAYOR: -- tickling gorillas and I thought, yes that`s what I wanted to do.
BEHAR: I know well, we saw that clip before. The gorillas are not really --
MAYOR: Ticklish, no they`re not.
BEHAR: No, but -- but was he trying to hurt you or just scare you? That gorilla?
MAYOR: Well, he was just trying to scare me, because the fact is, if a gorilla wants to hurt you it can hurt you. Most of the time, they bluff charge and when you follow them you become part of their group. So they do that to other gorillas.
So that particular gorillas have had a really very bad day with the females because it`s one male and -- and lots of females.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Oh sure.
MAYOR: They wouldn`t listen to him. They wanted to go to the swamps, he didn`t.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Who, the girl gorillas?
MAYOR: Yes.
BEHAR: They were like, well, we`ve had enough of you --
(CROSS TALK)
MAYOR: They are like yes.
BEHAR: -- let`s go shopping at the swamps.
MAYOR: Yes, exactly, well, the swamp is like a bit of a gorillas` single`s bar. Because that where all the gorillas come in --
BEHAR: They hang.
MAYOR: -- and all the single males are like hanging around. So the females go there and strut their stuff. So he -- for him, he was like, I don`t want to have to fight off other male gorillas.
BEHAR: Yes.
MAYOR: For them, it`s like oh yes, you`re going to have fight them off for me.
BEHAR: That`s -- their sex lives are fascinating, all these animals.
MAYOR: They`re awesome. It`s like a soap opera.
BEHAR: Did you know that the rhino, which is not an attractive animal, that they have 30 days of foreplay. Now, that is my kind of animal. I mean, that is an interesting factoid I picked up. 30 days --
MAYOR: Yes that`s true.
BEHAR: I mean, you know. Come on.
MAYOR: You would like the Bonobos too, then.
BEHAR: Really?
MAYOR: They`re like the horniest chimps on the planet.
BEHAR: No, yes, really I mean, but -- why don`t men take a tip. All of October is for foreplay.
MAYOR: That`s my next book. "Men, Take a Tip." Take a tip from rhinos.
BEHAR: From the Bonobos.
Now, at 22 you went on your first expedition and you had a near-death experience, I heard. What happened to you?
MAYOR: Well, first of all, when I went on that first expedition, I had never even been camping before. My --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: You were a cheerleader. What did you know from camping?
MAYOR: Well -- and my mom is very Cuban, overprotective, I was an only daughter. And so when I asked her to join the Girl Scouts, she said, no way, that`s far too dangerous.
BEHAR: The Boy Scouts, I can understand.
MAYOR: So here -- well, right. So I went off to South America, Guyana, a very unexplored region.
BEHAR: Yes.
MAYOR: And I got a blood infection and I didn`t know it. But my hands started swelling, literally to the size of basketballs. And then I knew it was time to go.
And when I got out of there, which took days, and got to a hospital, they said had I taken just a few more hours, I could have died, because the infection had traveled up to my heart.
BEHAR: And yet you went on a second expedition.
MAYOR: Right. So then I was hooked.
BEHAR: Yes. So are you -- are you attracted to the dangerous part of it? Because you do have twins on the way.
MAYOR: Right.
BEHAR: And two kids.
MAYOR: And I can`t get insured.
BEHAR: You can`t get insurance?
MAYOR: No. Every time -- every time I have a close encounter, I think, great, this is why I can`t get life insurance.
But no, am I attracted to the danger? It`s certainly a part of my job and I think I expect it, but I do it because I really love exploring wild places and meeting cultures. I mean, I`ve been to villages where they`ve never seen a foreigner. There`s something really cool and special about that.
BEHAR: Yes, yes, yes.
You know, I mean, we -- we talk a lot about right now about these reporters who are in Japan and who are going to Libya and everything and how dangerous it is. And a lot of the women get more flak then the men, I think, when they have children.
(CROSS TALK)
MAYOR: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Do you find that?
MAYOR: I wrote a chapter about that, it`s amazing the difference. I mean, I get judged, really, for being a mom who goes out into the field or for leaving my kids for a couple of months because this is my passion.
And you know, really, it`s who I am. I -- I`ve just come to the conclusion that it`s not just a job for me. And I think it`s true for -- for a lot of --
BEHAR: It`s a calling.
MAYOR: -- it is. You have to do it. And I don`t think you do children a service by not being who you are and -- and sticking to your passion and showing them, dream big, do what you want. You can have it all.
BEHAR: Yes.
MAYOR: You know, balance it.
BEHAR: So you -- you -- you`ll go away for two months at a time?
MAYOR: At times.
BEHAR: Yes.
MAYOR: I mean I used to be away for ten months at a time. The kids have kept me back a little bit.
BEHAR: Did they? And so how did your husband handle that?
MAYOR: He`s -- he`s fantastic. He is -- he`s great.
BEHAR: You need a good husband for that.
MAYOR: You need a good husband for that and I`ve got one. And he`s great with the girls and yes, he just really manages the fort and my mom helps out a lot as well.
BEHAR: She does. Even though you did not do what she asked you to do?
MAYOR: No, that`s right. I did not become a nurse like my normal cousins.
BEHAR: She raised you to be a girly-girl.
MAYOR: Absolutely --
BEHAR: And now you are feeding bananas to gorillas.
MAYOR: Yes and -- and these funny worms. Do you want to -- do you want to give it a worm? Just hold out your hand.
BEHAR: Well, I`m not really a big worm fan.
MAYOR: Well, you know not a lot of us are. But put out your hand, palm up, and it will come take it -- it`ll come take it from you. It`s going to -- it`s going to crawl around a little bit.
BEHAR: Deloris is going to take it from me?
MAYOR: Yes, we`ll see.
BEHAR: -- oh, look how gentle.
MAYOR: I know very.
BEHAR: How gentle it is. Oh my God, it`s like and it`s fur is like it`s such a sweet little fur.
MAYOR: It`s very, very sweet.
BEHAR: Isn`t that nice? No Brazilian by bikini wax for her.
MAYOR: Oh, you like the worm now.
BEHAR: It`s really --
(CROSSTALK)
MAYOR: I`m telling you, this is addictive.
BEHAR: Yes. I like to feed animals usually. It`s the worminess, of it, that`s in there. What else do they eat? Do they eat bedbugs, because we have a problem in the city?
MAYOR: I hear you.
BEHAR: Maybe we could send a few lemurs in there. Here you go, baby. Good boy.
MAYOR: That`s the only time they`re quick. You see that, when they go to grab the food.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Otherwise, they`re slow of molasses. But give them a worm, they go crazy.
MAYOR: They go for it.
BEHAR: Her book is called "Pink Boots and a Machete".
We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JEFF ROSS, COMEDIAN: We roasted Donald Trump, Comedy Central.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right. What are some jokes that didn`t make it?
ROSS: Donald Trump is a born winner. Even his haircut is called the comb-over achiever.
Donald Trump becomes president, I want to ride on Hair Force One.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was Jeff Ross doing some of the jokes that didn`t make it into the Trump roast.
With me now are Greg Proops, Deborah Norville and Michael Fazio.
Here`s an interesting story. I`m trying not to be too gleeful. But apparently Sarah Palin`s popularity numbers have dropped faster than Wilford Brimley`s (ph) balls. Ok.
(CROSSTALK)
GREG PROOPS, COMEDIAN: Wow. I`m so glad I didn`t just eat.
BEHAR: So, Deborah.
DEBORAH NORVILLE, "INSIDE EDITION": Don`t ask me about him. Talk about Miss Palin.
BEHAR: What do you think accounts for the lack of -- all of a sudden, their dropping.
NORVILLE: Huge. It was 88 percent approval when she was the VP running mate with John McCain. And it`s in the 50s now.
BEHAR: Yes.
NORVILLE: What`s really even more interesting is Public Policy released a poll today, and Charlie Sheen outpolls Sarah Palin amongst independent voters and when you have Republicans and Democrats.
BEHAR: They`re kidding, right?
NORVILLE: It`s a legitimate poll. It`s a joke question but I think it does speak to they disapprove of Sarah Palin. Yes, I think there`s a lot of things going on. There`s the question of whether she`s really is a serious candidate.
And I think a lot of -- I think what you`re seeing in that survey is a lot of people are saying, she`s in it for the publicity, is she in it for the governing? She left being the governor of Alaska early.
BEHAR: Yes, yes.
NORVILLE: She has a tremendously lucrative speaking career. She`s going to India and Israel this weekend, presumably to burnish up her foreign policy credentials. So maybe --
BEHAR: Maybe she should go to Japan, that`s where the problem is right now. Wouldn`t that be better?
NORVILLE: There is a problem there.
Well, it depends if you`re a fan of Sarah Palin. If you`re not a fan, you might suggest that she go to Japan right now.
PROOPS: She also finished behind Hosni Mubarak and Lindsay Lohan in that poll. Things are not going that well. And cancer, she finished just below that.
BEHAR: Come on.
PROOPS: The sign Cancer.
BEHAR: Come on. We don`t like her. I don`t know why we don`t like her.
(CROSSTALK)
PROOPS: I almost think that it`s on purpose.
NORVILLE: There`s few people that adore her.
BEHAR: We, I mean us.
PROOPS: She`s hot in a scary way.
BEHAR: Like we don`t like her. Do you like her, Michael?
MICHAEL FAZIO, AUTHOR, "CONCIERGE CONFIDENTIAL": You know what? I like her as a personality, but I don`t know if she`s ready to run our country. And I just feel like I probably --
BEHAR: Hello, she`s not ready to run the country.
FAZIO: She would have rated higher --
BEHAR: Let`s just get that off the table.
FAZIO: -- if Andy Cohen and she had done a series together instead of "Sarah Palin`s Alaska". It would have been more fun. She would have won - - it almost feels like it`s a conspiracy that the Republican Party has pushed her out there and her ratings are going to drop.
That way the other Republicans can kind of slide in there.
NORVILLE: I`m not sure that the Republican Party is pushing her out there. On the contrary, I think there are many in the Republican Party who would see the presence of Sarah Palin as a serious contender and as a distraction. Because I think there are a lot of people --
FAZIO: Distraction.
NORVILLE: -- who share your opinion that she would not be the winner of a Republican/Democratic contest as president if she were the nominee. And if you want a Republican to have a chance in the next election, the nominee should probably someone other than Sarah Palin.
PROOPS: Why take a pay cut? She`s making the (INAUDIBLE) now, why go down and take a public service job when you can write books and, you know, I love America and what-not.
BEHAR: If she wants to just make the money. That may be the reason she`s losing popularity. Maybe I`ll get to like her again when she`s not running for president.
PROOPS: Like I say, she`s hot in a scary way.
BEHAR: She`s very hot.
PROOPS: You`re with a girl and all of a sudden, she`s got a swastika on you. This is crazy. I didn`t know I was going to be turned on.
BEHAR: She`s gorgeous. Julianne Moore is going to play her in the movie, "Game Change".
(CROSSTALK)
NORVILLE: That would be very interesting. Yes.
BEHAR: OK. Thank you guys, very much. And if you`re in New York catch Greg Proops. That`s your real name?
PROOPS: No, it`s Smith. I just wanted it to be more scatological. Thank you, Joy.
BEHAR: Anyway, he`s at Caroline`s tonight through Sunday.
We`ll be right back.
Is that really your name?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Before Lady Gaga wore a meat dress, Alice Cooper bit the head of a live chicken on stage. Now, that`s entertainment! Alice Cooper is the newest member of the Rock `n` Roll Hall of Fame, and he joins me now. Welcome to the show, Alice.
ALICE COOPER, MUSICIAN: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
BEHAR: First of all, I have to say, that Alice is not your real name.
COOPER: No.
BEHAR: It`s going to be hard for me to talk to you as Alice.
COOPER: OK. My real name is Brenda.
BEHAR: Brenda?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Why Alice?
COOPER: Well, you know, you had to come up with something at that time that was going to annoy every parent in America. And that was pretty much it. I figured if we called ourselves Alice Cooper and we`re wearing sort of our girlfriend`s slips, but they`re kind of torn and there`s a little blood on the arm and everything like this, you know, it was pretty artistic at the time to do that, 1968, `67, `68, but it definitely got the shock value across.
BEHAR: It sure did. It sure did. But why not Hortensia Shirley? Why Alice?
COOPER: Alice was the first name that came up. It`s funny, because we were trying to think of names, and the very first name that came up was Alice Cooper. And then I started thinking, Alice Cooper, Lizzie Borden, Baby Jane. It had a ring to it. It had kind of a dark ring to it. It`s kind of good.
BEHAR: That`s funny. But you know, what`s her name, Lady Gaga is nothing compared to -- I mean, she goes out with crazy outfits, but you guys, you had guillotines on the air, you had blood, snakes, baby dolls.
COOPER: Still do.
BEHAR: Are you still walking around with a snake, right?
COOPER: Absolutely. I had the snake last night at the induction, you know, because it`s sort of so synonymous with Alice, the snake is, and it was voted the No. 1 prop of all time.
BEHAR: Really?
COOPER: Yes, the snake was.
BEHAR: Didn`t Britney Spears have a snake at one point, too?
COOPER: Yes. It kind of watered down the idea.
(CROSSTALK)
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: When she did it.
Now, congratulations on being inducted into the hall of fame.
COOPER: Thank you.
BEHAR: That`s really lovely. You were passed over for a long time. Were you afraid like Justin Bieber would get in before you?
COOPER: I was Susan Lucci for a while. Yeah. There were 15 years there that we weren`t even nominated. And then we got nominated and as soon as we got nominated, we were voted in. A lot of people thought we were already in. It was one of those things where they actually thought we were already in the hall of fame. But I think everybody`s going to get their chance to be in. I mean, you think of bands like the Moody Blues, Donovan. Deep Purple. I mean, there are so many great acts that have been around for 40 years.
BEHAR: Yes. And the Moody Blues, I mean, they were phenomenal in their day.
COOPER: Yes, and still are. They`re amazing.
BEHAR: They`re still touring?
COOPER: All of those bands are still touring. Yes.
BEHAR: Wow. Bet they sell out handicapped parking.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: So what do you think of Lady Gaga, while I`m on the topic of her?
COOPER: You know, I like Lady Gaga for one really good reason. There`s the fact that she sings. She`s a good singer. She writes a lot of her material.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: She designs her shows. She pretty much -- she does everything. She`s kind of the -- she`s a cross between Mae West and Madonna and Liberace.
BEHAR: Well, Madonna -- yeah, Liberace, why not. I mean, but some people have said that she`s copying Madonna. Do you think so?
COOPER: No, I think she took it further than Madonna. Madonna was more of a sex symbol. I don`t think Lady Gaga is a sex symbol.
BEHAR: That`s a good point, yes.
COOPER: I think Lady Gaga is more of a spectacle, which I really like, and she goes for it.
BEHAR: It`s more like you.
COOPER: Yeah. I mean, if you`re going to do it, do it. If you say welcome to my nightmare, don`t just say it, do it. Give them the nightmare, you know?
BEHAR: Yeah. Did you actually bite the head of a live chicken or is that a --
COOPER: No.
BEHAR: That`s not a real--
COOPER: The story behind it is actually more dastardly than that. It has a different twist to it. Somebody threw a chicken on stage in Toronto. I picked up the chicken, thinking, you know, I`m from Detroit, I`ve never been on a farm in my life. It had feathers. It`s a bird. It should fly.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: I picked it up and I kind of tossed it into the audience, figuring it would just kind of fly away.
BEHAR: A real chicken?
COOPER: Yeah, a real chicken.
BEHAR: A real chicken.
COOPER: And it didn`t fly as much as it plummeted. And the audience tore it to pieces.
BEHAR: Oh my God! How horrible!
COOPER: And threw the parts back up on stage. And next day in the paper it was Alice Cooper kills chicken on stage. And Frank Zappa called me up and he said, "did you really kill a chicken on stage last night?" I went, no. He said, well, don`t tell anybody, they love it. You know?
The kicker to the story is the first two rows at that audience were all in wheelchairs. They were the ones that tore the chicken to pieces.
BEHAR: Oh my God.
COOPER: Which I thought was even more odd than if I would have done it.
BEHAR: It`s like the Donner party on wheels.
COOPER: It was.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: How horrible. That is scary.
COOPER: Well, first of all, who brings a chicken to the concert?
BEHAR: Well, that, I can understand. But tearing the chicken apart--
COOPER: Wait a minute. Yeah, I got my tickets, I got my wallet, I got my--
BEHAR: Got my chicken.
COOPER: -- drugs, I got my chicken.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: That`s funny. Now, you know, what -- how has "Cabaret influence you? The movie "Cabaret?" I think it was Liza Minnelli who said that.
COOPER: Yeah. Well, I think it was the fact that our show had that quality to it. It had this kind of a dark sexual quality to it. And we didn`t mind wearing the makeup that was not really well done. It was kind of smeared on and it was kind of white (ph) and it had that kind of sideshow look to it. And I think that that`s what I meant when I said "Cabaret." It was sort of like you walk in and you see the show, here`s the big show and then here`s the sideshow that you don`t really want to go to, but you really do want to go to.
BEHAR: Yeah.
COOPER: That was us.
BEHAR: Uh-huh.
COOPER: You know.
BEHAR: By the way, what brand of mascara do you use?
COOPER: This is actually whatever I find. It`s grease paint. I go - - very glamorous.
BEHAR: What do you have on -- what do you have on right now? Your eyebrows look a little weird.
COOPER: No.
BEHAR: Oh, no, they -- I`m sorry. Oh my God, a faux pas.
COOPER: No, are they?
BEHAR: Those are really your eyebrows?
COOPER: Yeah.
BEHAR: No, come on.
COOPER: Yeah.
BEHAR: Let me see. Those are not stained at all?
COOPER: No. I don`t get real eyebrows -- oh, what do you mean? Are these my real eyebrows?
BEHAR: Yeah.
COOPER: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
COOPER: Well, wait a minute. Nobody 63 years old has dark hair. You know? If you go to one of these, when you go to one of these rock things and you`re giving away things and everybody that comes up at 65 and they have black hair--
BEHAR: Yeah, yeah.
COOPER: The only guy with honest hair is Jimmy Page. He`s got white hair. Probably under this is a lot of gray hair.
BEHAR: Yeah. So, your real color is all white?
COOPER: Yeah, probably. Not white, but gray.
BEHAR: How does it feel to be 63 and still be a rocker? Is it great?
COOPER: You know, I`ll tell you what. I think you`re about as young as your heart is. I quit drinking 30 years ago. When I was 30, I was 63, because I was really hitting it hard.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s like the Dylan song, I was so much older then, but I`m younger than that now.
COOPER: Oh, I`m 63 now, I get up and do 90 minutes on stage. I`ve never felt better. I can go all night.
BEHAR: Because you`re not drinking or taking drugs.
COOPER: Yeah, and I`m just in good shape. I mean, I was a distance runner. I was a miler and a two-miler competitively. Play golf every day. You know, I mean, I`ve been married for 35 years to the same girl.
BEHAR: My god.
COOPER: And -- yeah.
BEHAR: Look at you.
COOPER: Never cheated on her.
BEHAR: Wow, you`re like Jerry Falwell.
(LAUGHTER)
COOPER: Yeah. Kind of.
BEHAR: With mascara. But I want to get to all of that in a little while. I still want to talk about being an older rocker, because I went to see the Stones at the Meadowlands or one of those big halls. They had like fire and brimstone.
COOPER: Oh, yeah.
BEHAR: It was the most fabulous show.
COOPER: It`s spec -- we opened for them in that show. We opened in about three for four cities for them.
BEHAR: Did you?
COOPER: Yeah. But Mick Jagger does a half an hour on a treadmill, and then does three hours on stage. He`s 66. 67?
BEHAR: Oh, yeah, sure, if he`s a day.
COOPER: Unbelievable. He`s a phenomenon. I mean, nobody`s in that good a shape.
BEHAR: Do you think he and Keith Richards actually like each other or not?
COOPER: Yeah, I think they do.
BEHAR: Do you think they do?
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: And I was surprised to see that Keith Richards actually writes all the music.
COOPER: Keith Richards--
BEHAR: He`s brilliant.
COOPER: -- is a modern-day medical miracle.
(LAUGHTER)
COOPER: If you got a transfusion of his blood, all of us would be dead in about an hour. But somehow, what would kill us is keeping him alive.
BEHAR: Yes, I think so. So they do get along, those two?
COOPER: Yes, they do.
BEHAR: He used to say he wrote songs so that Mick would look good on stage.
COOPER: Well, I mean, back and forth, those two guys back and forth, I thought the book might have sunk the Rolling Stones.
BEHAR: But they don`t care.
COOPER: I don`t think they care at all.
BEHAR: I think they`re just happy making gazillions of dollars.
COOPER: They`re rehearsing right now for a new tour.
BEHAR: They`re a still phenomenal, you know, tour group. Just like you are.
COOPER: They`re the Stones. And we look up to the Stones, because they were -- I was in high school when the Stones came out. And we just went -- this is -- my parents hate these guys so much, I love them.
BEHAR: And your parents hated them.
COOPER: Oh, yeah.
(CROSSTALK)
COOPER: They liked the Beatles.
BEHAR: They liked -- well, the Beatles had that cute haircut and they were, you know, can`t find me love, it was all very nice.
COOPER: Yes, it was.
BEHAR: And the Stones were dangerous.
COOPER: The Stones were dangerous. We looked at the Stones and said, we`re going to make them look like choir boys.
BEHAR: And you did -- but I mean, in retrospect, do you think you were more dangerous than the Stones?
COOPER: I think that we were more dangerous. See, we weren`t druggies. We weren`t getting busted for drugs and things like that. I think that our terror was more cerebral. I think that when people saw us, saw the name Alice Cooper and a snake and the makeup, and they looked at their kids -- and the kids were going, yes! Because the parents were going --
BEHAR: Well, they see those, and they see the snake, and they see, you know, first of all, they see a phallic symbol. They see the makeup and they think you`re just whacked out on drugs, I guess, that`s--
COOPER: But if you have hit records, it changes the world. A hit record changes you. You go from this kind of, you know, odd little band to an important band, and then if you look like that, and you have the records to hang it on, then you`re dangerous.
BEHAR: Then you`re dangerous, right. OK. When we come back, I want to talk to you about this golf obsession. And you`re a born-again Christian? That is really interesting stuff, when we come back. Stay there.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(MUSIC)
BEHAR: That was shock rocker Alice Cooper meeting his match on the Muppet Show. And he`s back in now. OK, first of all, is Kermit a diva?
COOPER: Kermit was fine, it was Miss Piggy.
BEHAR: Miss Piggy is a diva.
COOPER: Yes. She was all over -- I mean she had -- there were little paw marks all over me. You know, and I had to keep -- I had to keep telling, Kermit, it`s not me, it`s her.
BEHAR: OK, now, you`re born-again Christian. Which means that -- when did that happen?
COOPER: Well, my dad was a pastor.
BEHAR: Oh, yes.
COOPER: My granddad was an evangelist. My wife`s father is a pastor. And I was the prodigal son. I mean, I grew up in a church ...
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: And then I went as far away as you could and then came back.
BEHAR: When did you come back?
COOPER: About 20 years ago.
BEHAR: Really?
COOPER: You know, well, I quit drinking, and that, you know, that clears you up a little bit, and it starts putting things in the perspective of what`s important, you know. I mean, how many cars do you need. How many houses do you need, how --
BEHAR: Exactly.
COOPER: That lifestyle only goes so far, and then you start thinking about what`s important.
BEHAR: That`s right. That`s right.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: But in those days, you know, Gene Simmons was on the show. I`ve heard this before from him anyway -- he claims that he had sex with 5,000 women. Do you believe that?
COOPER: At the same time?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: No.
COOPER: No.
BEHAR: If that`s true, wouldn`t he be in traction at this point?
COOPER: Yes, first of all --
BEHAR: I mean, do you think it`s true?
COOPER: No, I don`t think that`s possible.
BEHAR: Well --
COOPER: After a show, I don`t think so.
BEHAR: 5,000. What about you? How many have you had?
COOPER: I think -- when I was young, I was a rock star.
BEHAR: Do you even remember?
COOPER: No.
BEHAR: No. That`s .--
COOPER: I don`t remember -- I don`t remember 18 to probably 26.
BEHAR: See, that`s the beauty of the whole thing.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: You`re an alcoholic, you`re a druggie --
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: You`re acting out, you`re having sex --
COOPER: You are rock stars!
BEHAR: You`re just -- you`re just being a bad boy all around--
COOPER: Yeah.
BEHAR: Then you wake up, and you become a born-again Christian and you don`t even remember what you did.
COOPER: No, it`s great. You just forget about it.
(CROSSTALK)
COOPER: Yeah. It`s -- well, the good thing about it is the fact that you honestly don`t remember. There`s three albums I did that I don`t remember doing. I don`t remember writing them, I don`t remember recording them, I don`t remember performing them, and they end up being my fans` favorite albums. What? I go -- really? I kind of like these other ones that were the big hits. And they go, no, no, no, these were the ones we liked. Wow.
BEHAR: Are your fans like the Deadheads? Like the Grateful Dead had the Deadheads following them everywhere?
COOPER: Well, my fans are like -- I always appeal to the outcast. I --you know, my fans were not Eagles fans. My fans were the ...
BEHAR: I love the Eagles too.
COOPER: Eagles are great.
BEHAR: I love the Eagles.
COOPER: But my fans were those guys that didn`t relate with those fans. But there are a lot of the outcasts. There`s tons of them out there.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: And I was their guy.
BEHAR: Yes, yes.
COOPER: Right. So, yes, and my fans were getting militant about this -- about this Rock and Roll Hall of Fame thing. I mean, I`m glad I got in so they calmed down a little bit.
BEHAR: Calm the masses.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: And what`s this I read that you used to go out with Raquel Welch?
COOPER: Well, my manager used to manage Raquel Welch. Now, this was right when I met my wife.
BEHAR: Ah!
COOPER: And she was 18 years old.
BEHAR: Your wife was 18.
COOPER: She was 18 years old, and she was in the show, "Walk Into My Nightmare" show. I just met her and I was in love. Just about the time that I met Raquel Welch.
BEHAR: Oh!
COOPER: And if it was any other woman, I would have, of course, gone that way, but I was in love with this little 90-pound ballerina.
BEHAR: So you never shtupped Raquel?
COOPER: No. I -- honestly, when you`re in love, you can`t even see anybody else.
BEHAR: That`s a beautiful story.
COOPER: Right? It`s true. And so, I mean it was like -- I`m still with her. And I respect Raquel Welch and I think she`s the greatest thing in the world.
BEHAR: But you never did Raquel.
COOPER: No.
BEHAR: I wonder if she regrets that?
COOPER: I don`t know. We`ll never know. Won`t we? My wife -- I say, you know, my wife always says the smartest thing you ever did.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK. Now, a bit -- this other thing I read about you. You have these demons, you`re talking about. Your drinking was legendary, and everything --
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: They said here that you were in rehab in a mental asylum.
COOPER: It was --
BEHAR: Why were you in a mental asylum?
COOPER: You know, I don`t know. I woke up there and I realized I was the only one in there for any kind of alcohol or drug or anything. Everybody else was in there for like chopping up their uncle and putting him in a trunk, and, you know. And -- I started going, why am I in here? You know.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: I ended up writing an album about it called "From the Inside." And it was -- with Bernie Taupin, Bernie was my best friend. So I said, when I get out of here, I got so much stuff. This is so good. You know. But honestly, I started talking to people and they started giving me their stories, and I was going, really OK? You know.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: I was the only one who was in there for alcohol.
BEHAR: So did it kill you? Did it help you? It helped you.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: What do you think about Charlie Sheen then? Having been where, you know ...
COOPER: Charlie`s an interesting case. And I can relate to him on one level. I was the most functional alcoholic around. I never missed a line, I never missed a show. I was totally functional on every level. And I kind of see that with him.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: He shows up, he knows his lines, makes people laugh, and then he goes crazy in his personal life.
BEHAR: Well, that`s the thing, you`re functioning in one area, but you`re not functioning in the other, I think is what`s happening--
COOPER: Yeah, well, I can see what he`s talking about. He says look, I`m doing my job, what do you want from me? Why are you even in my personal life?
BEHAR: Yeah.
COOPER: And I kind of go, you know, I mean he may be clinically insane, but he does his job.
BEHAR: There was that discussion going on.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: Is he on drugs or is he in post drugs stoop (ph) craziness, or is he really bipolar? What is it? We don`t know.
COOPER: I think he`s found some -- a wave that he`s riding --
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: -- that`s kind of working for him somehow, you know, and I don`t know if he even thinks it`s a bad thing.
BEHAR: No. So, you`re on a tour and you also have a radio show?
COOPER: Yes. I do the radio show from the road.
BEHAR: And what do you do on the radio show?
COOPER: Well, I said I`ll take this show if I can play what I want to play. First of all, I`m so tired of this top 40. We only hear the same songs over and over and over and over. I said if you let me play songs, deeper cuts, I`ll take the show. I`ve been on eight years now. And -- you did radio. You did radio.
BEHAR: I did radio. But I was talking. You`re a disc jockey?
COOPER: Yeah, I do that. Well, I mean, I tape my show. And I end up --
BEHAR: And you find music you want?
COOPER: Oh yeah, I want to play --
BEHAR: Where can we find it? I want to listen to it.
COOPER: It streams all over the place. It`s Alice at Night with Alice Cooper.
BEHAR: Aha.
COOPER: You know. And it`s really a fun show because I know all the backstage stories, too. I can tell stories about -- about everybody.
BEHAR: You know, and you`re living to tell it.
COOPER: Yeah.
BEHAR: You know, you`re here, which is great. You know.
COOPER: Well, I mostly tell stories about people that are dead, so they can`t, you know, deny it. You know.
BEHAR: OK, when we come back, tell me one short story about -- a horrible story about someone who`s dead, all right?
COOPER: OK.
BEHAR: We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Alice Cooper. What did you say?
COOPER: I said sometimes I see those films, that scares me a little bit.
BEHAR: So, first, before we get to the story about a dead person, I hear you have a restaurant and you name the dishes after famous people.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: If I were a dish, what would you ...
COOPER: Oh, you`d be great.
BEHAR: Would it be tongue?
COOPER: Oh, that would be good because we don`t have a tongue. We have a two-foot hot dog called The Big Unit.
BEHAR: Who`s that named after? Hello?
COOPER: Randy Johnson, the pitcher is called the Big Unit. But every time we serve it, the sirens go off, an alarm goes off. You know, and Big Unit coming through -- and you put it down, and that`s obscene. I mean, it`s like that big. But it`s a really great hot dog.
BEHAR: This is in Phoenix, Arizona.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: Phoenix, Arizona.
COOPER: It`s called Cooperstown.
BEHAR: Well, there was a Cooperstown in New York State ...
COOPER: Well, it`s Alice Cooper`s town.
BEHAR: Oh, Alice Cooper`s town. Right. So -- That`s great.
COOPER: Yeah, but we do change the sandwiches all the time. If you want a sandwich, we`ll ...
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: I want (ph) a tongue sandwich.
COOPER: OK.
BEHAR: Although no one -- no one buys tongue.
COOPER: No, they would.
BEHAR: So just say it`s tongue and then give them ham.
COOPER: We`ll give them pastrami.
BEHAR: Exactly. All right. OK. So, who is the dead person?
COOPER: All right. Elvis Presley.
BEHAR: Oh yes!
COOPER: Yes. I went to meet Elvis Presley, I went upstairs, I get in the elevator, it`s Liza Minnelli, Chubby Checker, Linda Lovelace and me. Interesting group. We go upstairs, Elvis comes out, and Elvis looked great. It was 1962 ...
BEHAR: This was not the fat Elvis?
COOPER: Oh, no, this was the good Elvis ...
BEHAR: Yeah, the thin Elvis.
COOPER: And he comes out, he says, hey man, you`re the cat with the snake, aren`t you? I said yes. He said, cool man, he said, come here, I want to show you something. I go in the other room, he opens a drawer in the bath -- in the kitchen, takes out a loaded .38, puts it in my hand. And he says, OK, man, I just want to show you how to take this gun out of somebody`s hand.
I`m standing with a loaded .38 on Elvis. A little guy on my shoulder is going, shoot him. You know? And I go, I can`t shoot him, he`s Elvis Presley. And the other guy says, don`t shoot him, wound him. So I didn`t do either one. He knocks the gun out of my hand, he has my -- boot to my throat, and I`m like that`s great, Elvis. That`s great, you know. But he was an interesting character, because he was so protected that he didn`t have a life.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: And I realized at that point I never wanted to be that big--
BEHAR: Right.
COOPER: Where you couldn`t go out and go to the movies, you couldn`t go shopping. You couldn`t --
BEHAR: Oh, it`s awful.
COOPER: No, he was so protected that his big thing in life was he got in a fight with three guys and he had the police reports. And he showed me these police reports like they were gold.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: I kicked this guy right here and broke his arm, and I hit -- you know, and he`s showing -- his eyes are big. And he`s showing them to me like this, and I`m going, that`s your favorite -- that`s your most prized possession?
BEHAR: Right. And not exactly.
COOPER: Shocking. Yes.
BEHAR: And just like no conversation at all.
COOPER: None. I mean, the guy -- he couldn`t do anything.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: Interesting guy. I mean, did you know him when he was bloated?
COOPER: Didn`t -- I didn`t -- I saw him after that a little bit when he popped up out of a car one time, "hey, Alice, how are you doing?" And all I saw was this guy pulling him back.
BEHAR: Oh, yes.
COOPER: I mean, he couldn`t do anything.
BEHAR: That was from -- what kind -- what drugs made him so bloated like that?
COOPER: You know --
BEHAR: -- or was it just a lot of salt?
COOPER: Could be. You know, hillbilly boy, probably everything was deep-fried. You know, but everything in his life, he was allowed to have anything.
BEHAR: Yes.
COOPER: It was a Michael Jackson thing.
BEHAR: Yes, yes, same idea.
COOPER: So, you can have -- when you can have anything, you can kill yourself.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Alice, I just want to say thank you. What`s your real name?
COOPER: My real name is Vincent.
BEHAR: Vincent.
COOPER: Vincent Damon Furnier.
BEHAR: You`re French.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: Furnier.
COOPER: Furnier.
BEHAR: Furnier, hey, hey, hey. It`s absolutely marvelous to meet you and talk to you.
COOPER: Thank you.
BEHAR: Everyone appreciated you being here today.
COOPER: Oh, thank you.
BEHAR: Everyone, you Alice Cooper`s fans, the "Old School" 1964-1974, box set comes out in May. That`s great.
COOPER: Yes.
BEHAR: Thank you all for watching. Good night, everybody.
END
