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Joy Behar Page
"Smut List" Outrage; Radiation Fears; Mom Leaves Kids for Career
Aired March 21, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: The new season of "Dancing with the Stars" premieres tonight and critics are complaining that there were no real stars on the show. I say it`s never too late to add to the cast. Bobby? Bobby? Again, with the wig -- I begged you to get counseling. What?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up on THE Joy BEHAR SHOW Joy speaks to a woman who left her husband of 20 years and two young sons to focus on her career. She faced fierce backlash. But Joy wants to know if a man picks work over family, is there the same outrage?
Then a so-called "smut list" ranked teen girls by their alleged sexual encounters. After going viral overnight, it was pulled from Facebook and now cops are investigating this extreme case of cyber-bullying.
And sex therapist Ian Kerner tells Joy why women remarry less than men after a divorce and why sex is better than botox.
That and more starting right now.
BEHAR: What would you do if your teenage daughter was part of a "smut list"? The so-called Westchester "smut list" ranked 100 high school girls from New York and Connecticut based on their alleged sexual experience and was seen by thousands on Facebook.
So is this just the high-tech version of writing on the bathroom wall or is there a real crime?
Joining me to discuss this are: Lennise Ortega, who is on the list even though she isn`t even in high school anymore; and Parry Aftab, executive director of wiredsafety.org.
Welcome to the show, ladies.
Parry, tell me what`s on this list. Let`s talk about it for a minute.
PARRY AFTAB, EXEC. DIRECTOR, WIREDSAFETY.ORG: They used to be called "slut list" until they realized that Facebook and others were filtering those words. So they changed it to "smut".
BEHAR: Oh, I see.
AFTAB: It`s sort writing on the bathroom wall times 650 million people. So it`s a way to discourage and disparage people from all over the place in really horrible and harsh ways.
BEHAR: So it`s a list of 100 girls that they say had sexual experience in high school.
AFTAB: That`s it.
BEHAR: Lennise, you`re not even in the in high school anymore. How did you even find out that you were on it?
LENNISE ORTEGA, VICTIM OF "SMUT LIST" CYBER BULLYING: At first it started with BBM, which thank God my name was not in there. My sister was, my younger sister. She doesn`t even go to the high school anymore. She`s attending a private school.
Right after probably an hour or two later, I find out that there`s a "smut list" going on, on Facebook and there was a comment made about me. They were saying, "Lennise, how many baby fathers do you have, girl?" And, you know, I was just very offended about who did this and why would they write something about me if I don`t talk to those people?
BEHAR: How did they even get your -- where did they get your name from?
ORTEGA: I`ve been living in lower Westchester since I was 7. So, all those people I went to school with.
BEHAR: They know you.
ORTEGA: Yes. They know me.
BEHAR: So these were all kids that you went to school with. You`ve had a couple kids, right, yourself, in high school. So they decide to make you into a slut because of that, put you on that this list.
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: I see. Is this like cyber bullying Parry?
AFTAB: It is cyber bullying and more. It might be cyber harassment depending upon the age of who`s doing this and how they`re doing it. When she said BBM, that`s Blackberry Messenger; so it`s text messaging using Blackberries. It started on cell phones and then moved to the Internet very quickly.
BEHAR: And then it became -- it went viral. So many people see your names. It`s your first name and your last name I understand.
AFTAB: Absolutely. And they`ll link to your friends; they`ll connect to you however they can find you. We`re now finding a 16-year-old girl who spoke to me this afternoon is receiving sexual solicitations from adults who think that she`s loose.
BEHAR: Of course. That`s the ramification of something like this and why it`s so despicable. It`s just terrible. Are there any laws actually broken here?
AFTAB: Well, we`re still investigating the case, both on mobile and Facebook. The good thing is the Westchester prosecutor is one of the best in the country. The cyber crime unit is, too.
Now, any of the kids who are under the age of 16, there`s a federal law saying that if you set up somebody under the age of 16 for sexual solicitation by others, it`s now a felony and you`re going to serve five years behind bars.
BEHAR: Who did this? Is it an adult? Could it be an adult?
AFTAB: I`m sure these are kids. They may technically be 18 but we`re finding a lot of them are involved. Some would start a list. Others would add to it. It`s just having fun in cyber space.
BEHAR: Any boys on the list, Lennise?
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: There are boys on the list, too? How many boys out of 100?
ORTEGA: To be honest, there`s probably, like, five that I saw that I know from lower Westchester. There are probably dozens of guys. They were being harassed about being gay or being fat.
BEHAR: So they weren`t being harassed about being --
ORTEGA: No.
AFTAB: Girls are sluts, boys are gay and everybody`s fat or too thin or too tall or too short. It just happens to be what you are that day to make it easy to torment you. Those are the words they use. Whether you are or not doesn`t seem to make any difference.
BEHAR: Who`s behind this? Who is it?
AFTAB: Other kids. Kids who have --
BEHAR: I mean any -- do we have any names? Do you know who it could be?
AFTAB: Not yet.
BEHAR: You don`t know?
AFTAB: Not yet.
BEHAR: Do you have any idea? You know who they are.
ORTEGA: I wish I knew.
BEHAR: You don`t have any idea?
AFTAB: We`re going to find out.
BEHAR: I mean you went to school with these kids. Who are the mean girls? Were these girls?
ORTEGA: I mean, I could name a couple.
BEHAR: Why don`t you name them?
ORTEGA: No.
BEHAR: They named you. They named you. See how they like it.
AFTAB: But she doesn`t know that they were the ones behind this. They were probably girls and boys, not just girls. So everyone thinks of mean girls in cyber bullying. But boys do it, too. Always mean, always in groups but not always girls.
We`re going to find out. When we find out there`s going to be some serious jail time.
BEHAR: What would be the punishment?
AFTAB: Well, it depends, if we can get them targeting anybody under the age of 16, maybe 5 years behind bars. The Westchester DA is looking at any ways to charge them under New York state cyber harassment, under our federal cyber stalking law. There are a lot of different things that we can do.
Until we break out all of the elements and find out who`s behind it, we don`t know enough yet. It`s very fresh. It just started Tuesday, Joy.
BEHAR: Just started Tuesday. Ok. I want to talk to you when we come back a little bit about the emotional ramifications of something like this.
AFTAB: Terrible.
BEHAR: And what it means to a girl who was put on this kind -- I mean it reminds me of the Hawthorne book, you know, "The Scarlet Letter".
We`ll be right back with some more. Stay there.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up a little later on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, could Charlie Sheen be heading to Fox or perhaps back to CBS? We`ll have all the latest.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with my guests and we`re talking about a so-called "smut list" that went viral. This is -- that particular list that you said came out on Tuesday has been removed from Facebook, yes?
AFTAB: It has been removed from Facebook.
BEHAR: So then -- so what are we worried about now?
AFTAB: Well, it gets copied and cached and everybody who`d took it and linked to it and they`re carrying it on. So it`s like the game of telephone. You may have stopped the initial one but it continues to move and takes on a life of its own.
BEHAR: And so on and so on and so on and so on.
AFTAB: You got it.
BEHAR: Now, how does a girl get over this? I mean, emotionally, how do you feel about all of this?
ORTEGA: Obviously it`s heart, like, heart --
BEHAR: Heartbreaking.
ORTEGA: -- heartbreaking.
BEHAR: Yes.
ORTEGA: It`s a lot to deal with, just because you have to live with these people. It`s in your community. They see you every day. So you have to either worry about where you`re going, who`s there and what they`re gossiping about you.
So there`s a lot you have to deal with emotionally. And with me, I`m just -- they don`t understand the -- the pain that I feel.
BEHAR: They don`t care.
ORTEGA: They don`t care about --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: They don`t care about the pain that you feel about it.
ORTEGA: That`s the bad part.
BEHAR: Yes.
ORTEGA: That`s the bad part. But if it was them in my shoes --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: They wouldn`t like it.
ORTEGA: You know, they wouldn`t like it.
BEHAR: They would not like it.
ORTEGA: And a lot of the girls that are on the list, these are the same girls who used to tease me back in high school. And I see that they don`t like it. So it`s really --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: Oh.
ORTEGA: Funny.
BEHAR: So they`re getting it now.
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: The ones who teased you are now on that list, too.
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: What do you make of that?
AFTAB: You know, what goes around comes around. But we need to recognize that sometimes we can take kids who have their -- their head on straight -- and look at how amazingly she`s handled this -- you get them to go out talking to other kids. So we`re going to put her to work, she`s going to go out and talk to kids in Westchester, to hold a summit, maybe we`ll get you to come out join us and so we can get kids to understand it.
And we`re going to create our own list. So instead of "smut list" we`re going to talk about how great people are and talk about the great things they do and get all of the kids not to stand by, to stand up against this.
(CROSS TALK)
AFTAB: If we can get the kids to say, it`s no fun, it stops.
BEHAR: -- but -- but you know, this kind of thing has been going on forever. You know, call so-and-so for a good time.
ORTEGA: Right.
BEHAR: It used to be written on bathroom walls. So this -- the only thing about this is that as you say it goes to -- it could go to conceivably millions of people.
AFTAB: Yes, 650 million on Facebook, alone. So it`s exponential. So the damage that can be done isn`t a local damage.
BEHAR: Yes.
AFTAB: So for a good time call, your friends can start and everybody will correct it and your boyfriend will beat them up and it stops.
BEHAR: Yes.
AFTAB: But when somebody out in Arizona decides that they`re going to come and visit somebody in Westchester because they`re easy, now we`re talking about dangerous things.
BEHAR: Oh my God. Not Arizona. Why did you pick Arizona?
What can parents do about this?
AFTAB: Well, parents need to Google their kids and Bing their kids and Yahoo their kids, their names first and last in quotes.
There`s a new product that won`t be out for a month. But we`re starting to look at it because it`s free. And it`s called MinorMonitor.com is the site. And it`s free for parents to watch the reputation of their kids online. What`s being posted on Facebook by them or about them, ways that maybe we can protect them. Earlier we find out, the faster we can take it down.
Report it, don`t support it. If you see it happening, let the person know what`s happening, too.
And Facebook has some new things that they`ve just added on cyber bullying, they`ll be launching over the next month to make it a lot easier for you to find out when things are going wrong and shut them down fast.
BEHAR: Well, that`s good -- that`s good for you to know.
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: You feel better about it now?
ORTEGA: Somehow. Yes.
BEHAR: A little bit?
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: Do you have a boyfriend?
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: So is he mad? He must be angry about this.
ORTEGA: I`m not really sure what he`s feeling.
BEHAR: Yes. I mean --
(CROSS TALK)
AFTAB: Is he supportive to you?
ORTEGA: Yes.
BEHAR: Ok.
Well, thanks for coming on and talking about it. I think it`s a rather interesting subject, but I`m -- I`m happy to see that you`re out there, Parry, fighting a good fight.
AFTAB: I am and if they go to StopCyberBullying.org, one of our Web sites --
BEHAR: Yes.
AFTAB: -- at the charity they can take a survey and we`ll find out exactly what people think.
BEHAR: Ok. Thanks very much. We`ll be right back.
A.J. HAMMER, HLN HOST, "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT": Tonight on "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT," "Glee" gay kiss outrage. A former "SNL" star goes on an outrageous rant over "Glee`s" guy-on-guy kiss at 11:00 p.m. Eastern and Pacific on HLN.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Ten years ago, author Rahna Reiko Rizzuto walked out on her husband and two sons to live in Hiroshima and interview survivors of the atomic bomb. Many critics called her decision selfish which she reveals in her new book, "Hiroshima in the Morning".
Welcome to the show, Reiko. It`s good to see you again.
RAHNA REIKO RIZZUTO, AUTHOR, "HIROSHIMA IN THE MORNING: Thank you.
BEHAR: So you know, before we get to the book, I know that you have a lot of friends in Japan and there is this horrifying, you know, meltdown possibility and the radiation releases which they`re now saying is in the spinach, in the milk.
RIZZUTO: Right. Right.
BEHAR: When you speak to people there, what are you hearing?
RIZZUTO: Well, you know, they`re -- they are very nervous. They`re very worried.
BEHAR: Yes.
RIZZUTO: A lot of my friends are in Hiroshima and so they`re away from where the -- the tsunami and those things hit. And they`re really --
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: How far are they?
RIZZUTO: -- they`re -- they`re far enough that they didn`t actually feel the earthquake.
BEHAR: They didn`t feel the earthquake --
RIZZUTO: No.
BEHAR: -- or the tsunami.
RIZZUTO: Or the tsunami. But they`re worried about those people, you know, all of -- all of the refugees. And they`re worried about the radiation. You know, these are -- these are people who have some experience with radiation.
BEHAR: I`ll say.
RIZZUTO: So when the government says, well, you know, there`s a certain level that`s safe and then they double it and then they raise it again, you know there`s a big question for them.
BEHAR: But should they be as frightened for these people as they were when the bomb hit in 1945?
RIZZUTO: Well, we hope not. We hope it`s a very different thing but you know, the thing about the bomb is that -- that when it hit, first it -- it sort of vaporized everyone within one kilometer. And then the people in -- within two kilometers had a lot of really terrible effects.
Some of them survived. Other people who came into the city searching for friends afterwards died within a month.
BEHAR: Oh, they did.
RIZZUTO: And then there were people around that -- that group who have had long-term cancers, they come up years and years later. Other people who are just -- are so exhausted they haven`t been able to work all of their lives. And -- and so radiation affects different people in different way and they don`t really know.
BEHAR: Well, that -- those -- those bombs over Hiroshima and Nagasaki were powerful atomic bombs. Do they still have hatred for the Americans for doing that?
RIZZUTO: You know they really don`t. That was what was so shocking to me when I went there. I think was more angry than they were. And I was angry because I didn`t know and I was just learning about it.
I think when something like that happens you have to kind of invest in peace. You have to let go of your anger or you`re going to spend your life just being eaten by that as well as radiation.
BEHAR: That`s true. But down the road, what do you see down the road for these people who are in Sendai or in the area?
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: High cancer rates?
RIZZUTO: Well, we`re hoping -- we don`t know.
You know, it`s like it`s interesting, you see the numbers, they change by the hour. At first with the milk and spinach, it was like it`s safe for human health. Then it was like, well, maybe you shouldn`t buy it in the store. Now it`s off the market. And it`s going to take a while to see. It really is.
BEHAR: The governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo is talking about getting rid of the Indian plant nuclear plant here which is 35 miles from where we are right now. If there was an earthquake here, we would have a lot of trouble in this area. So he`s looking into that which is good.
RIZZUTO: Yes.
BEHAR: But let`s talk about your personal story in the book. Ten years ago you left your two young sons and your husband to go to Hiroshima and investigate the situation that we were just talking about. Tell me what happened there.
RIZZUTO: Well, you know, I had this opportunity. I got a grant. It was the first time that I`d ever been away from home. And I -- I went off to do these interviews. And it was a very interesting experience for me because it was the first time that I wasn`t in a relationship -- I wasn`t in a role. I got to do sort of whatever I wanted to in the day and I changed a lot. And --
BEHAR: You were married at that time for 20 years. Your children were 3 and 5. Right?
RIZZUTO: Right.
BEHAR: What did you tell your children? Mommy will be back in six months?
RIZZUTO: Pretty much. Mommy will be back. She`ll be coming soon. We`ll see you. I don`t think that either one of us really thought that the marriage would fall apart so quickly. I really think that he thought it was a great idea. I thought it was a great idea. He thought taking care of kids is easy; it`s going to be ok.
BEHAR: It wasn`t so easy.
RIZZUTO: It wasn`t so easy. No.
BEHAR: Why didn`t you just take them with you?
RIZZUTO: I actually investigated that. I called the people who managed the grant. They said, don`t do it. They said they actually had some women who brought their children and they weren`t able to do anything. No research, no nothing.
BEHAR: Why not? Your husband was there to take care of them in Hiroshima or New York, wherever you were?
RIZZUTO: Oh, I could probably not have taken my husband. He wouldn`t have been able to come for the full six months.
BEHAR: Why not?
RIZZUTO: Well, he had to work.
BEHAR: He had to work.
RIZZUTO: Yes.
BEHAR: So it was either you take the kids or he takes the kids.
RIZZUTO: Exactly.
BEHAR: But at the end of the day those kids are without one parent for six months.
RIZZUTO: Right. Right.
BEHAR: That was a tough thing to do.
RIZZUTO: Yes.
BEHAR: So I`m curious, how did your friends react to that, in the neighborhood and your social circle?
RIZZUTO: Some of my friends were like that`s an amazing thing, you`re so lucky. But most of them were like, how can you leave your children? They just didn`t understand it. And I -- it didn`t strike me that it was such a difficult thing to do. No.
BEHAR: Why not? It would strike most people I think as odd.
RIZZUTO: Well, I guess because --
BEHAR: But when a guy does it, you know, many times the men will have to go off and, I mean, Christiane Amanpour, I was talking to her the other day. She has to leave her kids all the time. Her husband manned the childcare. And I think people look askance at women who do that.
RIZZUTO: They do. I just recently, I was away on a retreat for three weeks and I met a woman who was also on a business trip. She said to me, how can you leave your children? I said, yes, well actually, you know, they`re going skiing with their dad in a week. They`re fine.
BEHAR: Well, now they`re 16 and 13.
RIZZUTO: They`re 12 and 14.
BEHAR: Do they -- I don`t want to jump ahead. You went to Japan and everybody`s here. So something happened to you in Japan, personally when you were there. What was it?
RIZZUTO: I think partly it was just that I was able to live in a world where I didn`t have a box. I didn`t have a role. I didn`t have anything that anybody expected me to. When I was in Japan as an American woman, you`re not expected to be a Japanese woman. There are no expectations at all. I just -- I think I grew up for the first time. You know?
BEHAR: How old were you at that point?
RIZZUTO: I was 33. No, I`m sorry, 36.
BEHAR: 36.
RIZZUTO: Yes. Yes. So really, I mean --
BEHAR: Late bloomer.
RIZZUTO: Well, you know, years ago I remember my mother saying to me, when I first moved in with my then-boyfriend during college, she said, honey, you`re so young. Why don`t you just date? Why don`t you just do other things?
BEHAR: You got married young.
RIZZUTO: And at the time -- you know, really, I basically got married when I was 17 even though it wasn`t official until I was about 25.
BEHAR: Well, you know, I understand. I got married when I was 22. I got divorced when I was around 39. So I understand that you get married young and you don`t really know what you`re doing.
You`re an unformed human being, an embryo of sorts. But the thing that`s hard to do is leave the kids. I think that was the thing and people do criticize you for that. I said to you when I spoke to you last time, if you were a man, no one will be having this discussion, but they are.
Do you have regrets at all about doing it?
RIZZUTO: You know, I don`t in that I`m happy where I am. I think our life is good and I think that we`re all in a really good place. I think it was a hard road to get here. It`s been ten years, and you know, I think in any divorce you have a lot of difficulty and a lot of regret and guilt and just any time, you know, your kids are unhappy I think you do regret things.
BEHAR: You don`t feel guilty about it, do you?
RIZZUTO: I don`t feel guilty about choosing my life the way that I needed to choose it. I think there are always times, though, when somebody is sad that you feel like did I do the right thing? Did I do the right thing? Certainly when people around you are asking you, did you do the right thing? You know, you do question it.
BEHAR: You came back from Japan and soon after you got divorced. And your husband got custody, full custody of the kids. How did that happen?
RIZZUTO: We actually have joint custody. We have joint legal custody. But they live with him because when we first decided that we were going to have children, he was going to be the primary caretaker. So it just made sense to let him be the primary caretaker. They stayed in their home and they just sort of continued on their life and I tried to fit into that as well as I could, however I could.
And you know, now we have this relationship where they say, well, it`s like you`re equal. We spend as much time with you as we spend with dad. I think that`s because we spend really concentrated time together.
BEHAR: You do.
RIZZUTO: We do.
BEHAR: Quality time as they say.
RIZZUTO: Yes, quality time.
BEHAR: A lot of kids don`t like quality time, though. They want their mother there no matter how crazy you are.
RIZZUTO: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean it`s true. Even if you`re miserable with your life and you hate your husband, they still want you there.
RIZZUTO: I hope -- it`s sort of sad to hear.
BEHAR: I think it`s true, though.
RIZZUTO: It might be true. I hope what I`m teaching my kids is that you can live a great, you know, life, you can go after your dreams, you can incorporate other people into your life, you can still support everything and that women, you know, when they grow up and they have relationships, they`re going to expect the people in their -- the women in their lives to have their own life.
BEHAR: Supposedly you`re teaching your daughter. A boy and a girl?
RIZZUTO: No. Two boys.
BEHAR: Two boys. In a certain way -- I think if it was a girl it might have been harder, right?
RIZZUTO: I don`t know.
BEHAR: To leave the girl at home?
RIZZUTO: I was terrified of having a girl. I don`t think I could have raised a girl because I was a girl and I know what I was like.
BEHAR: I see. So you are part Japanese.
RIZZUTO: I am half Japanese.
BEHAR: That`s what sent you to Hiroshima in the first place. Ok. Thanks very much Reiko, for joining me.
RIZZUTO: Thank you.
BEHAR: We`ll be back in just a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Charlie Sheen might be getting his own late-night show on Fox. Personally I`d like to see Charlie on Fox News. They could change the slogan to fair and mentally unbalanced.
Joining me to talk about this and other news of the day, is Joe Levy, editor in chief of "Maxim" magazine. La La Anthony, TV personality and star of "La La`s Full Court Life" on VH1. And comedian, Paul Mecurio.
Welcome, guys.
So, Joe, would you watch a late-night show if Charlie Sheen were hosting it on Fox?
JOE LEVY, EDITOR IN CHIEF, MAXIM: I would. That would be the greatest 15 minutes of television ever, because I think at minute 16, he just collapses.
BEHAR: You think so?
LEVY: Come on. A late-night show, for real, a late-night show. First off, it`s impossible, he`s uninsurable. Second, he would have to actually show up every night.
BEHAR: If he`s uninsurable --
LEVY: Third, third, third, that gets in way of -- it`s late night, that gets in way of his porn viewing and having sex with porn stars.
(CROSSTALK)
LEVY: It`s a lot of commitments.
PAUL MECURIO, COMEDIAN: You can do porn viewing on the show. Like, how do you top his actual life with a show? Like, his actual life and everything he`s -- web rants are so amazing. What are you going to do on the show? Like, get on a unicorn and ride into a suitcase of cocaine? Like, what are you going to do?
(LAUGHTER)
MECURIO: Don`t steal that idea, Charlie Sheen. That`s mine for my own show.
BEHAR: Don`t you think he should do just a reality show? Just do a reality show.
LA LA ANTHONY, STAR, "LA LA`S FULL COURT LIFE": I think it would be so entertaining. This is the same guy who got one million Twitter followers in 24 hours. I mean, he`s very entertaining. We`re all watching to see what`s next. So I agree with Joy, a reality show would probably be the best thing for him right now.
BEHAR: You know, it`s funny, you know, he`s been acting out obviously. We all know the acting out. I`m sort of tired of it already. But you know, Martin Sheen, his father says that he`s emotionally a child. He`s 45 years old and he`s emotionally a child. The Menendez brothers were also -- you know what I mean? Leopold and Loeb. They were young also. I mean, I don`t know, is that an excuse?
MECURIO: No, absolutely not. That`s part of the problem maybe, is that people have been making excuses for him since he was 18 because he`s a moneymaker. And why would Fox want to get in business with him when he just came out of a bad relationship with CBS? It`s like a second rebound going on, oh, no, he won`t cheat on me. Not on me, no, no.
BEHAR: But the CBS people want him back, I was reading.
(CROSSTALK)
LEVY: Of course they want him back. He`s huge now.
BEHAR: But you just said he`s uninsurable.
LEVY: He is uninsurable. It`s a contradiction. It`s show business. Of course they want him back. He is the machine behind their biggest moneymaker. Right? So why would they let him go?
ANTHONY: I agree. Wherever Charlie goes, we`re all watching.
BEHAR: Right. And what about his standup show? You know, he`s doing 70 minutes of unscripted rants. Kind of like "The View," isn`t it? I mean, seriously, are you going to go see that?
MECURIO: You have to earn that. I mean, I understand, you smoke a crack pipe, one hour of smoking a crack pipe equals 10 years on stage of being a comic, I guess. That`s how it works, right? So in this case, he has got way enough material for several shows, right?
But I`m--
LEVY: Where is there a crack pipe you can smoke for an hour? I only know a little bit about crack, and I think it`s like way less than an hour.
MECURIO: Talk to Charlie Seen. He can do it. But you know, as a fellow comic, right, you work years to get to that point, to work a place like Radio City Music Hall.
BEHAR: But you know what, you`re not a train wreck. He`s a train wreck. And people want to watch a train wreck.
LEVY: Are you going to have him on "The View?"
BEHAR: Sure, we`d love to have him. I`ll have him here too.
LEVY: Now, see, that I`ll go to, that I want to see.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK. But you know, here`s an interesting little factoid about him. There`s a new poll out and more people would vote for him as president than Sarah Palin. What does this say about Sarah Palin?
LEVY: It says that she is not a warlock. She needs to get her hands on some tiger blood.
ANTHONY: She`s a goddess.
LEVY: And she needs to start winning. And she can kill the tiger to get the blood. She will shoot that tiger to get that blood.
MECURIO: What does that say about the people who responded to the poll? I mean, why are -- are they coming out of Piggly Wiggly and they were in a hurry? Who responds to that poll?
BEHAR: I don`t know who these people are.
MECURIO: It`s a choice between am I going to be laughing at Charlie Sheen or laughing at Sarah Palin? I guess that`s the choice there.
BEHAR: Maybe they asked one Polish person and they say it`s a poll.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Now, if you can`t wait for Charlie Sheen`s stage tour and you need to see someone crazy, you`re in luck. Because here`s Randy Quaid performing in Canada over the weekend.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RANDY QUAID, ACTOR: Whackers (ph), those cheesy star whackers, the hell with that (inaudible). Those sleazy star whackers.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Congratulations, Charlie Sheen, you have an opening act.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK, so I`m impressed. You know, not a lot of things rhyme with star whacker. And he made it rhyme somehow.
LEVY: Yes, he really did. He got in bounty hunters tracking me, star whacking me.
BEHAR: I`m talking about whackers, these cheesy star whackers, o hell with those fact checkers. Those sleazy star whackers, checkers, whackers, not quite.
LEVY: Yes.
BEHAR: OK.
ANTHONY: I loved -- I loved the song. I loved how he made it all work. If it was like an SNL spoof or something like that, it would have been great. But for him to be serious doing this, there`s a problem here.
MECURIO: He sounded like Van Morrison -- Jim Morrison, rather, not when he sang with the Doors, but when he was drowning.
(LAUGHTER)
MECURIO: And the reality is, like he`s saying that there are people out there to get him, to whack him. Really? Are there criminals that dumb that they`re going to go to life in prison whacking Randy Quaid? You walk up to an assassin if you`re Randy Quaid and you go, shoot me, I`m Randy Quaid. And he`d be like, let me see your resume. Nah, I don`t think so.
BEHAR: Wait a second, Quaid and his wife Edie say that star whackers are responsible for the deaths of David Carradine, Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, Ronni Chasen (ph).
ANTHONY: That`s just ridiculous.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Paranoia maybe?
ANTHONY: Paranoia. There`s a bigger issue here. We`re laughing about it. But there`s something really going on here that needs to be explored. Because for someone to think that like, something is not right upstairs.
LEVY: The Quaids are on the run from some what appear to be bad debts, allegedly bad debts.
BEHAR: Breaking and entering.
LEVY: Breaking and entering into a house they used to own. They say they (inaudible) -- and they decamped to Vancouver, Canada, where pot is legal.
BEHAR: Hello.
LEVY: So I don`t think that`s feeding the paranoid conspiracies at all.
BEHAR: Can I read some of the lyrics?
MECURIO: Oh, sure.
BEHAR: OK. Maybe squeeze your balls with a nylon rope, hang you in the closet like an overcoat, or take you and your lover for a ride so they can stage a murder/suicide.
LEVY: Where did they get my journal?
(LAUGHTER)
LEVY: Where -- how did they get that?
BEHAR: Pretty good.
MECURIO: You know what impressed me about that performance is it was in Canada and it proved how polite Canadian people are.
ANTHONY: They loved it.
MECURIO: They applauded, they cheered. Americans would be like, you suck, get off. They`re like, oh we love you.
BEHAR: They`re so happy with the health insurance, they`ll clap for any nut job.
LEVY: And once again, legal marijuana.
BEHAR: Now, "Dancing with the Stars" premieres tonight with no Gosselins, no Republicans. And they also -- don`t they realize I need the material here? Come on, get somebody on that show we can trash. It`s wonderful, though, that Tiger Woods is back and Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen. I`m, like, so happy. But anyway, what about Kirstie Alley? They say there aren`t enough big stars. She`s a big star.
LEVY: Wait, she is big. Isn`t she?
BEHAR: She`s huge.
LEVY: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
LEVY: Oh, we can`t go any further with this. It`s getting ugly.
BEHAR: I`m just saying. She`s a big star.
LEVY: She is a big star. This is going to be her and Wendy Williams. Who knew there was enough room on one stage for both of them.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Ego you mean.
LEVY: That is what I meant.
ANTHONY: I believe a star is a star to whoever it is. To me, Wendy Williams is a big star. And I`m excited to see what she brings to the show. She has tons of personality. I love her show on TV. So I`m excited for her. I`m excited for Sugar Ray Leonard. I`m excited for Little Romeo. I like Little Romeo. I used to listen to his music. So there are people that I`m excited to see. It just depends who you ask.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Go ahead.
MECURIO: Well, this whole debate, too, is centered around comparing it to like the "celebrity Apprentice" and the stars that are on that show. It`s like, well, they have Star Jones and `Dancing with the Stars" has Ralph Macchio. Really, are we arguing about the level -- it`s like arguing which is better, type 1 or type 2 diabetes? It`s pretty much the -- like what, I don`t understand. We`ve gotten into this point in our culture that we argue about there aren`t enough -- big enough B-level celebrities.
BEHAR: No, but "celebrity Apprentice" has Dionne Warwick and they`ve got some supermodels over there. They`ve got Star, they have got--
ANTHONY: They have NeNe.
BEHAR: They`ve got Marlee Matlin. They`ve got NeNe Leakes. A little bit more the booking over there. And then they have Gary Busey. Have you been watching it?
MECURIO: Yeah, it`s great. I just don`t think people have the physical stamina to do "Dancing with the Stars." "celebrity Apprentice," you sit around and you act crazy and you yell at each other. How much--
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: It`s a commitment of time, also.
ANTHONY: It is a commitment of time, especially traveling if you`re based in New York, have to go to L.A. I mean, it`s a big commitment. I think it`s going to be a great season.
BEHAR: What about you?
LEVY: I just want to see Macchio learn to dance by waxing on and waxing off. I just want to see him learn that way.
BEHAR: Your husband is a big -- what do I say? Basketball star. Carmelo Anthony. So would you ever let him do "Dancing with the Stars?"
ANTHONY: I mean, I would. But I don`t think he would be interested.
BEHAR: Because they love athletes over there.
ANTHONY: That`s not his kind of show at all. Me on the other hand, we could talk about it. But him, I don`t think he would do it.
BEHAR: Oh, so, this is your chance.
ANTHONY: Yeah, I should on the next --
BEHAR: Look at the camera and tell them they want to be on.
ANTHONY: I should be on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars." I will make it exciting.
MECURIO: And I should be her dance partner.
LEVY: And I am the next American idol.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Not. OK. A new controversial iPhone -- what do you call it, app is out. I have the iPad, rather, it`s not the iPhone. It`s the iPad. On this app, you can go there and try to convert from being a homosexual to being heterosexual. Do you think it will work?
MECURIO: It worked for me.
BEHAR: And there`s a lot of people -- did it?
MECURIO: Yes.
BEHAR: A lot of people are protesting this particular app. What do you think?
ANTHONY: I think they have every right to protest. It`s the most ridiculous thing I`ve ever heard in my life. If someone is gay and have questions about their sexuality, I doubt they`re going to refer to their iPad, iPhone app for answers. It`s ridiculous.
BEHAR: You should see this new show, "The Book of Mormon," which I saw the other night. Oh my God, they do a takeoff on closeted gays or people who think that they can--
LEVY: This is the Broadway show from "The South Park" guys, right?
BEHAR: Yes, that`s right.
LEVY: Right.
BEHAR: It`s just a hilarious, hilarious show. The most -- the funniest part is this one scene where they try to, you know, cover up and try to be straight when they`re really not. It`s just very funny.
LEVY: Right. And that`s actually most of Broadway, right?
BEHAR: No. Most of Broadway is out.
LEVY: Really? That got a groan?
BEHAR: No, no.
LEVY: That got a groan?
BEHAR: Because most of Broadway is out.
MECURIO: Yes. It`s ...
LEVY: Thank god.
BEHAR: Thank you, guys, very much. And if you`re in the area, be sure to check out Paul Mecurio April 6th through the 10th at the Funny Bone comedy club in Des Moines, Iowa.
MECURIO: Yes.
BEHAR: We`ll be right back. Iowans are very progressive.
MECURIO: Yes, they are great.
BEHAR: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)OMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Do you ever wonder, so Andy Rooney, if your next door neighbors are a little kinky? Ever wonder if you`re a little kinky? How can you tell? But my next guest has developed a sex quiz that might provide some answers. Ian Kerner, sex therapist and founder, goodinbed.com. I love that --goodinbed.com.
IAN KERNER: It`s memorable.
BEHAR: It certainly is. So what is this sex ...
KERNER: I`m going to give you a little sex quiz.
BEHAR: All right.
KERNER: Multiple choice. Very easy. So, I`ll ask some questions. And you just have to think about the answers.
BEHAR: Are we going on the assumption that most people do not know anything about sex?
KERNER: Maybe some people know something but don`t know everything or have some preconceptions, and that learning is always a good thing.
BEHAR: Yes. OK.
KERNER: OK.
BEHAR: All right.
KERNER: So very simple one to start. According to the Kinsey Institute, how many times a year does the average American adult have sex, OK? How many times a year?
BEHAR: I assume you mean with someone else.
KERNER: With a -- with a partner. Yes.
BEHAR: OK.
KERNER: Not with themselves.
BEHAR: All right.
KERNER: OK. So with a partner.
BEHAR: Yes.
KERNER: 365, which would be every day.
BEHAR: No.
KERNER: 56.9.
BEHAR: That would be once a week, sort of.
KERNER: Once a week sort of. 26.4. Every other week, sort of.
BEHAR: No.
KERNER: Or seven.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s ...
KERNER: Don`t look.
BEHAR: It depends on how old you are, I think.
KERNER: OK. Well, this is the average.
BEHAR: The average horny person.
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: I would say that it would be C, the third one.
KERNER: C. 26.4.
BEHAR: Yes.
KERNER: Nah. Americans are doing a little better than that. 56.9.
BEHAR: So, once a week.
KERNER: About once a week.
BEHAR: Has sex.
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: But -- good sex or just any sex?
KERNER: This is just not necessarily good sex.
BEHAR: All right. OK.
KERNER: OK. So, number two, the number one sex problem that men deal with is a, erectile disorder, b, low desire, c, premature ejaculation ...
BEHAR: I hate that.
(LAUGHTER)AUGHTER)
KERNER: D ...
BEHAR: You know who had that problem? Joseph P. Kennedy.
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: John Kennedy`s father was a preemie.
KERNER: Preemie.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Go ahead. Yeah.
KERNER: Or D ...
BEHAR: It`s true. I read that.
KERNER: D was having a micro-penis ...
(CROSSTALK)
KERNER: ... which is like two to three inches.
BEHAR: Oh, I see. Bobby ...
(LAUGHTER)
KERNER: So, OK. Erectile disorder, low desire -- number one sex problem.
BEHAR: Well, since they`re always advertising Viagra ...
KERNER: Right.
BEHAR: It has to be erectile disorder.
KERNER: That would be -- yeah, that would be a ...
BEHAR: That would be A ...
KERNER: That would be a very logical choice, but it`s c, premature ejaculation.
BEHAR: That`s the dreaded.
KERNER: And number one ...
BEHAR: The dreaded one ...
KERNER: Not just a young men`s problem. And actually, some drugs on the horizon.
BEHAR: Oh, I`m so happy.
KERNER: So we might be seeing some ...
BEHAR: All right. Go ahead.
KERNER: OK. According to -- this is a study that was done by iVillage. What percentage of married women fantasizes about sex with someone who is not their spouse?
BEHAR: Does that include, like, you know, Donald Rumsfeld?
(LAUGHTER)
KERNER: If that`s your fantasy.
BEHAR: No, it`s not.
KERNER: Not yours, but ...
BEHAR: OK.
KERNER: So, what percentage of married women fantasizes about sex with someone who`s not their spouse? So, 12 percent ...
BEHAR: No, 100 percent.
KERNER: 99? You`re going to pick D, 99?
BEHAR: Yes, I think 99 percent.
KERNER: OK.
BEHAR: You know that -- do you know that old joke, like two people are lying in bed ...
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: Right, and nothing`s happening, they`re married for 10, 20 years and they look at each other finally. Say, what`s the matter? Couldn`t you think of anybody either?
KERNER: Well, all right. So the answer is 62 percent.
BEHAR: 62.
KERNER: 62.
BEHAR: Better than 59 percent. You know what I`m saying.
KERNER: But you know what`s interesting, men don`t really fantasize - - men are pretty just -- pretty much just happy to be there at the time. So we are not ...
BEHAR: But the women are thinking ...
KERNER: The women are thinking.
(CROSSTALK)
KERNER: ... are fantasizing.
BEHAR: Aren`t -- I have in the past fantasized with ...
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: About not movie stars, though. Just guys who really knew what they were doing.
(LAUGHTER)
KERNER: Yes. Yes. All right. All right. So two out of three women are more likely to make out with a guy, be attracted to a guy if they like a, his eyes, b, his personality, c, the way he smells or d, the thickness of his wallet.
BEHAR: Well, depends if you`re talking about the housewives of Beverly Hills.
KERNER: OK. Yeah.
BEHAR: It would be the last one. I think it might be the scent.
KERNER: Yes. Yes.
BEHAR: Is that -- Am I right?
KERNER: Yes, you totally are. You got that right.
BEHAR: The scent. Yeah, if someone smells right, even if it`s not a great smell ...
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: If it fits your olfactory senses ...
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: I think you would go with that guy.
KERNER: And women have a much keener -- men don`t get this, but women have a much keener sense of scent ...
BEHAR: Yes.
KERNER: ... than men do, and they say that women are actually able to genetically sniff out the right partner.
BEHAR: Really?
KERNER: Which is why they have such a heightened-...
BEHAR: It`s a curse also to have a good nose.
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: Believe me.
KERNER: Yeah, OK.
BEHAR: I`m telling you.
KERNER: All right. So -- how many -- this one I actually didn`t know this one. How many positions are depicted in the original Kama sutra? 64, 82, 101 or 120?
BEHAR: Oh my God -- the last book I read was, what, you know ...
KERNER: "The Kite Runner?"
BEHAR: I mean I think it was "Little Women."
KERNER: So.
BEHAR: I would say the third.
KERNER: The third. 101.
BEHAR: Yes.
KERNER: Close, it`s actually 64.
BEHAR: Oh.
KERNER: But you know what -- guess what ...
BEHAR: Again.
KERNER: But guess what the ...
BEHAR: Nuts.
KERNER: Guess what the number one position is for ...
BEHAR: Missionary?
KERNER: Missionary.
BEHAR: I know.
KERNER: Even though it`s not ...
BEHAR: It`s the easiest one.
KERNER: It`s the easiest -- it`s not the one that`s most likely ...
BEHAR: Isn`t it the easiest one and it`s easy to say, get off of me already, OK?
KERNER: For guys it can be a little -- it can be ...
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: All right, we`ll have more of this with Ian when we come back. I want more questions.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with sex therapist Ian Kerner who apparently knows everything about sex, more than he needs to know maybe.
KERNER: Thank you.
BEHAR: Where did you do your internship?
KERNER: Here, here in New York and at home with my wife.
BEHAR: Yes? Oh really?
KERNER: Yes. And ...
BEHAR: Do you and your wife experiment on a lot of sex?
KERNER: No. We`re pretty -- we`re not really thrill seekers.
BEHAR: Oh, you are boring.
KERNER: We`re comfort creatures. Yes, but we`re both, you know, we`re both tuning (ph) the same way. So it`s enough for us.
BEHAR: Where did the term missionary position come from anyway? Was it a mission?
KERNER: You know, I don`t know. It`s a good -- I`ll get the answer.
BEHAR: Yeah. I`m wondering.
KERNER: I`ll get the answer.
BEHAR: OK. All right. You have another question?
KERNER: I do have a couple more. So, this is about fetishes.
BEHAR: A lot of men have fetishes. Women don`t have fetishes.
KERNER: A lot of men have them, women do not have them.
BEHAR: We like to shop. We can`t be bothered with a fetish.
KERNER: So, people with endytophilia, OK. They like to a, have sex in elevators ...
BEHAR: Are they indicted? I don`t get the term.
KERNER: E, N, D, Y, T, O, philia.
BEHAR: Endytophilia?
KERNER: Endytophilia.
BEHAR: Endo -- meaning outside oneself. Endo.
KERNER: Like to have sex in elevators ..
BEHAR: Outside the house -- that`s good.
KERNER: Like to do it with their clothes on.
BEHAR: That would be outside your body.
KERNER: Never have sex because they`re afraid of germs.
BEHAR: That would be never having sex.
KERNER: Like to roll around in dirt.
BEHAR: I like that one.
KERNER: It`s -- you like that one, like you like it or ...
BEHAR: No, no. I would go with endo meaning outside.
KERNER: Yeah, that`s ...
BEHAR: Isn`t that what that means?
KERNER: Yeah, it does. Yeah.
BEHAR: So, I would say have sex in elevators.
KERNER: Well, have sex with their clothes on.
BEHAR: Oh, with their clothes on.
KERNER: ... which could be in an elevator, too.
BEHAR: I think that`s a turn-on, but not all your clothes.
KERNER: Yes.
BEHAR: Like if you`re wearing the coat ...
KERNER: It`s kind of going back to the teenage years a little ...
BEHAR: But like a couple of (inaudible) clothing, and I can see the point.
KERNER: Well, you know, the thing about a fetish, is if you are both sort of into it, then it`s not a problem. It only becomes a problem if one person ...
BEHAR: Right.
KERNER: Isn`t interested in it.
BEHAR: OK. What else?
KERNER: OK. Which -- which mammal has a retractable penis?
BEHAR: Charlie Sheen.
(LAUGHTER)
KERNER: That was a good choice. That really -- that was a choice. And can use it like a groping hand. Do you still pick Charlie Sheen?
BEHAR: No. Who else -- what else do you have?
KERNER: OK. One -- a dolphin ...
BEHAR: A retractable penis? A dolphin has a penis? It`s a fish.
KERNER: It`s a mammal.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: It`s a fish, but it`s a mammal. But it`s a fish.
KERNER: Well, a hippopotamus.
(CROSSTALK)
KERNER: A hippopotamus?
BEHAR: A hippo? I`d go a hippo.
KERNER: It`s a dolphin.
BEHAR: A dolphin has a retractable penis?
KERNER: Yes, and ...
BEHAR: Do they know that at Sea World?
(LAUGHTER)
KERNER: And Joe, the guy from "Maxim" who was just on, he was -- he was telling me that they`re considered to be very randy, very horny creatures as well.
BEHAR: Joe Levy has a retractable penis.
(LAUGHTER)
KERNER: All right. Last one.
BEHAR: I`ll check next time he`s on.
KERNER: Last one.
BEHAR: All right.
KERNER: OK, what percentage of women prefer sleep to sex?
BEHAR: How many women sleep during sex is really the question. Yes.
KERNER: 98 percent.
BEHAR: Prefer sleep to sex?
KERNER: 62 percent.
BEHAR: Depends on how tired you are. I mean, that question is ridiculous.
KERNER: 41 percent.
BEHAR: Prefer sleep to sex.
KERNER: Two percent.
BEHAR: What about going out for a pizza? It`s not on the list. I would say two percent.
KERNER: 41 percent of women.
BEHAR: Prefer sleeping to sex?
KERNER: Would rather sleep than have sex.
BEHAR: Boy, that`s sad. You girls, you hear what this is? That`s terrible.
KERNER: Yeah, well, you know, and actually, though I deal with a lot of low-desire men, I`ve got to say that there`s a lot of men, too, these days.
BEHAR: Really? I don`t know too many of those. They`re more worried about premature ejaculation. All right. Thank you guys, very much. Thank you, Ian.
KERNER: My pleasure.
BEHAR: And thank you for watching. Good night, everybody.
END
