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Joy Behar Page
Mob Wives; Does Comedy Translate?
Aired April 21, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Joy sits down with the stars of the controversial show "Mob Wives" and asks what they think about the so-called Italians on MTV`s "Jersey Shore".
Plus, does comedy translate? Joy talks to Ray Romano about adapting his old hit show for an international audience.
That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Move over, Tony Soprano. The women of VH-1`s new reality show "Mob Wives", whose husbands or fathers are all Mafia men, can be just as threatening. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KAREN GRAVANO, "MOB WIVES": You have a problem because of who my father is, because you can`t be in the same place, because you`re just a weak-minded individual?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Who the (EXPLETIVE DELETED) does Karen Gravano think she is calling Renee Graziano weak-minded?
RENEE GRAZIANO, "MOB WIVES": I think you have a lot of (EXPLETIVE DELETED) balls coming back.
GRAVANO: Tell me you want me to leave.
GRAZIANO: Are you testing me? Are you testing --
GRAVANO: No, I`m telling you. If you have a problem then tell me to leave.
GRAZIANO: Leave.
GRAVANO: No.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: The language. Snooki`s going to be very jealous. Joining me now are the stars of "Mob Wives": Karen Gravano, Renee Graziano, Drita D`Avanzo, and Carla Facciolo. I say it right, don`t I?
GRAVANO: Yes.
BEHAR: Facciolo. Ok. Before we start I have a question for all of you. Jimmy Hoffa, where is he? Where is he?
GRAVANO: I have no idea. I have no idea.
GRAZIANO: I have no idea.
GRAVANO: No one ever told us secrets.
BEHAR: All right. Let`s start with Karen. Your father is Sammy "The Bull" Gravano.
KAREN GRAVANO, "MOB WIVES": Right.
BEHAR: We all know about him. But tell us what his claim to fame is for the people out there who don`t know him.
GRAVANO: Well, he was the underboss of the Gambino organized crime family. And then he cooperated in the case when he was arrested with John Gotti. So I don`t know. People like to say his claim to fame is his cooperation, and then some people say that he`s the underboss. But he`s just my father.
BEHAR: He basically brought down the Gotti family.
GRAVANO: Correct.
BEHAR: Right. How did he do that? By going to court and turning state`s evidence, correct?
GRAVANO: Correct.
BEHAR: Uh-huh. Some people say -- call that a snitch.
GRAVANO: Right.
BEHAR: How do you feel when they say that about your father, he was a snitch?
GRAVANO: You know, for so long I feel like that`s his life and the reasons why he did what he did. I mean, he felt like John Gotti betrayed him. So in his mind John double-crossed him and he`s a master double- crosser. We don`t use the word snitch.
BEHAR: That`s interesting. John Gotti was an interesting character because he was out there saying look at me, which is against the usual --
GRAVANO: Right. He was very flamboyant.
BEHAR: The usual routine.
GRAVANO: Yes.
BEHAR: Now, a lot of people are not happy with your father.
GRAVANO: Correct.
BEHAR: A few of them are sitting right here.
GRAVANO: Right.
BEHAR: So are you afraid of getting whacked yourself?
GRAVANO: No.
BEHAR: You`re not?
GRAVANO: No.
BEHAR: Why?
GRAVANO: Just because I choose not to live in that bubble. I don`t want to have this every single day of my life, get up and deal with it. That`s not my life. That was my father`s life. I mean I know there`s a big thing out there saying I was in the witness protection program. But --
BEHAR: But you were, weren`t you?
GRAVANO: No.
BEHAR: No. You went to Arizona, though. Your father was there.
GRAVANO: I went to Arizona six years after my father cooperated. So I stayed in New York. I didn`t go in the witness protection program. Me and my mother, my brother, we chose not to go with him. We didn`t actually go with him.
BEHAR: Were you mad at him in the beginning?
GRAVANO: Absolutely.
BEHAR: You were. Because he cooperated?
GRAVANO: Right. Because my whole life I was taught that this is something you never do. And I didn`t understand it at first. It took me a while.
But I really understood who he is as an individual. And he basically told me about that life. So I got to really understand why he did it. And you know, I think he felt like he was betrayed with the Gotti tapes. There`s a lot of, you know, talking on John`s part about my father. And he was just done.
BEHAR: Renee, you can`t even look at her about this, huh? When you hear this, it bothers you. Tell me who you are and what your father did.
RENEE GRAZIANO, "MOB WIVES": Well, according to the federal government, I am the daughter of Anthony Graziano, who is a high-ranking mobster, according to the government.
BEHAR: According to the government.
GRAZIANO: According to the government. As far as I`m concerned, I`m just Anthony`s daughter and I`m good with that.
BEHAR: Of course.
GRAZIANO: And I`m good with that.
BEHAR: You know, I mean the truth of the matter is they`re your fathers.
GRAVANO: Absolutely
GRAZIANO: Yes.
BEHAR: And that`s an issue for you, I guess, because you`re not -- you still have to love your father no matter what they do.
GRAVANO: Right.
GRAZIANO: Yes.
BEHAR: Sometimes. Not always. Say Hitler`s daughter; he never had one. But if he did, she doesn`t have to like him. You know what I mean?
GRAVANO: I choose to look at him as like people look at him as "Sammy the Bull" or, you know, he cooperated. I just look at him as my father.
BEHAR: Of course. But Renee, your sister created this show. I met her backstage.
GRAZIANO: Yes. My sister Jennifer Graziano, she did create it. She`s actually very brilliant.
BEHAR: Yes.
GRAZIANO: Putting it -- the group of us together. I think that she found four women who are very different than each other, extremely. You obviously see that in episode one.
BEHAR: Yes.
GRAZIANO: Yes. Me being the crying drama queen sensitive one of the bunch, absolutely.
BEHAR: You`re the sensitive one? Is that what you --
GRAZIANO: Oh, yes. Extremely sensitive.
BEHAR: Why? You can`t -- if someone says something you just start crying? Or what?
GRAZIANO: I cry -- no, I cry -- it doesn`t matter. I cry a lot. I do. But sensitive. I think I`m more sensitive with my friends than I am with strangers. Strangers you could say whatever you need to say because it doesn`t really bother me. But my group of friends I would expect them to kind of not tiptoe around certain little areas with me, though I`d like them to --
BEHAR: Even when it comes to your father? When it comes to your father?
GRAZIANO: Oh, when it comes to my father, it`s just my father, period. Just how Karen feels about her father, I feel the same way about mine. So I think two strong women who love their fathers so much regardless of what or how society sees them, we love them as fathers. And --
GRAVANO: Right.
GRAZIANO: I think in the first episode what you see is -- and forgive me for saying this -- but my ignorance to a life that I have no right to be involved in by taking a position the way I did against Karen.
GRAVANO: Against me.
GRAZIANO: Against Karen, yes.
BEHAR: Why do you say that? Her father snitched and you didn`t like that. Let me ask you something else. Your father, "Little Guy" Graziano, is he short?
GRAZIANO: Actually, he`s -- I think my dad`s about 5`8, 5`9.
BEHAR: Most of the mob is short.
GRAZIANO: Yes.
BEHAR: They`re not tall.
GRAZIANO: Long pockets. You might be short but you got long pockets.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: But they`re Italian. These are not the Vikings we`re discussing. Right?
But let me ask you something. Isn`t your father -- I`ll get to you too. I`m just going around each one. All right? But isn`t your father upset or perturbed that you guys are on this show? You could spill all the secrets, tell where all the bodies are buried.
GRAZIANO: I don`t know anything about bodies. My father never -- my father`s not even the type of gentleman that would discuss anything that isn`t even true with me. That`s not stuff you talk about.
BEHAR: Oh, you`re saying he never killed anybody?
GRAZIANO: My father?
BEHAR: Well, see, I`m ignorant --
GRAZIANO: I`m hot right now. You want to talk about my father?
BEHAR: No, but see, I`m ignorant on this subject because I watch the movies, the -- I grew up Italian but my family was not in the mob. So I don`t know -- all I know is that when you make your bones, as they say in "The Godfather", you have to kill somebody to be in the Mafia. So we can assume that all your fathers might have killed somebody --
GRAZIANO: We can assume. We can assume a lot.
GRAVANO: I don`t think you have to assume with my father.
BEHAR: You do not?
GRAVANO: No. He wrote a book and, you know, basically that`s what he did when he cooperated. He gave up all his secrets.
BEHAR: But still, he might not want to give up that secret.
GRAVANO: He did it. He already said that secret. He has a book out but he won`t talk about it. And as for me --
BEHAR: So neither one killed anybody. Let`s go on. Let me move on. I have to ask these two girls.
Now, Carla, you grew up in the Mafia, but you married a stockbroker.
CARLA FACCIOLO, "MOB WIVES": Yes.
BEHAR: That`s an interesting choice. So was your father -- your family, were they in the mob?
FACCIOLO: No. My father wasn`t in the mob.
BEHAR: Your father was not?
FACCIOLO: No.
BEHAR: So what`s your connection to the Mafia?
FACCIOLO: Well, they say that my uncle was involved.
BEHAR: Your uncle.
What was his name?
FACCIOLO: Bruno.
BEHAR: Bruno? Does he have a little -- like Bruno "Go Fish" Facciolo or something? Anything like that?
FACCIOLO: It was just Bruno.
BEHAR: Just Bruno. Ok. Now, your husband got into trouble for stock fraud.
FACCIOLO: Yes.
BEHAR: But I remember on the show last night, I was watching it last night, and you said that -- or the other night -- whenever it was airing. You were saying that you don`t think that`s a crime.
FACCIOLO: No. Of course it`s a crime. I mean it`s -- he`s a stock fraud. He was selling stocks that he wasn`t supposed to. But no, it definitely was.
BEHAR: And he`s in jail now?
FACCIOLO: He just got home.
BEHAR: Oh. Really? When? Just like --
FACCIOLO: Just like a few weeks ago.
BEHAR: No kidding.
FACCIOLO: Yes.
BEHAR: Oh. How was that?
FACCIOLO: It`s different. Well, you know, I didn`t -- we didn`t get a taste of him yet.
BEHAR: But you`re in the midst of a divorce, it said in my notes.
FACCIOLO: Yes.
BEHAR: Oh.
FACCIOLO: We`re not together.
BEHAR: You`re not together.
FACCIOLO: No.
BEHAR: Because it must have been hard to keep a marriage together while your husband`s in jail, right?
FACCIOLO: I think it`s very hard for anybody to keep a marriage together when someone --
BEHAR: Period.
FACCIOLO: Yes.
BEHAR: Especially when they`re in jail. Although for me it might work.
GRAZIANO: The ideal relationship.
BEHAR: Ok. Drita, you are not even Italian. These girls are from Italian-American families. But you are Albanian. And your husband, Lee D`Avanzo, ok, he spent 10 out of the 12 years in prison while you were married to him. Is he still there now?
DRITA D`AVANZO, "MOB WIVES": Yes.
BEHAR: So yours is still in jail.
D`AVANZO: Yes.
BEHAR: He`s coming out when?
D`AVANZO: That`s still up in the air. I thought he`d be home a lot sooner than he`s going to be. So.
BEHAR: How do you maintain a relationship with your husband while he`s in prison all that time?
D`AVANZO: I think him being in prison I talk to him more now than when he was home. No, I`m kidding. I`m just saying it`s not easy. It`s horrendous. It`s so hard. And you know what? Honestly, I just -- we`ve become like more friends, I guess.
BEHAR: I see.
D`AVANZO: It`s tough. It`s difficult.
BEHAR: So what`s going to happen when he gets out. Is it going to end up like Carla?
D`AVANZO: Listen, I don`t know. I`m actually at that crossroad right now. I`m going through a hard time with this second time. Because he was away the first time for a very long time, promised he would do well. He came home and got a job and he was not loyal to me. He`s like that.
BEHAR: Ok, before we go to the next segment, so your father -- you`re not married to anybody in the mob, you never were?
GRAVANO: No I was never married.
BEHAR: Ok but you -- you were or are or -- or what?
GRAZIANO: I`m divorced from.
BEHAR: Also somebody in the -- in the association?
GRAZIANO: Yes.
BEHAR: And Mrs. D`Avanzo, you are. And Carla was. I don`t get your connection. Your uncle was in the mob.
CARLA: Yes.
BEHAR: And that`s the connection for you. But your husband wasn`t, right?
CARLA: No. He wasn`t.
BEHAR: Ok. That`s close enough. Your uncle.
CARLA: Yes.
BEHAR: One relative once removed.
CARLA: It`s all in the family.
BEHAR: Ok, we`ll be -- we`ll be right back with more "Mob Wives". Ok.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAZIANO: Carla and I have similar family background. We know each other since I`m 16. It was very easy for her and I to bond as friends because we had that underworld connection.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m back with the stars of VH-1`S new reality show "Mob Wives." Now, Karen, you used to date Drita`s husband, the one who`s in jail?
GRAVANO: Correct.
O`REILLY: Oh. So how did that go? What happened there?
GRAVANO: We were friends from the old neighborhood. We knew each other.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: In Staten Island.
GRAVANO: Yes. We were.
D`AVANZO: We lost contact. We just lost contact.
BEHAR: Yes.
GRAVANO: We -- we I used to date Lee for a while. And then I moved to Arizona. And then she started dating him.
BEHAR: Oh.
D`AVANZO: And we got married.
BEHAR: And then they got married.
GRAVANO: Yes and then they got married. So yes, we`re just kind of like rolling with it.
GRAZIAN: We`ll see what happens.
GRAVANO: Yes. I think you might want to tune in for that one.
BEHAR: Oh, is that another episode? Oh. This -- I was watching the show. See, the "Jersey Shore" bores me. I don`t care for that show. But I liked your show.
GRAZIANO: Thank you.
BEHAR: Do you like the "Jersey Shore"? Do you watch it?
GRAZIANO: I go to the Jersey Shore.
GRAVANO: I like it.
FACCIOLO: I know you do.
BEHAR: What`s the difference between your show and the "Jersey Shore", do you think?
GRAZIANO: We`re on Staten Island.
BEHAR: What is it?
D`AVANZO: We have responsibility. We have children.
BEHAR: Yes.
D`AVANZO: It`s just -- we went through a lot in our life. I think those kids are just wilding out and having fun.
BEHAR: Yes, I see. And for some reason -- I`m an Italian-American, but the mob does not upset me that it`s on TV. Why is that?
But the "Jersey Shore" does, because I think that people, let`s say, in Midwest or out -- you know who are looking at us are looking at the mob and saying, well, I saw "The Sopranos", I watched "The Godfather", it`s like this group that`s outside the Italian-American experience. Whereas the "Jersey Shore" kids, it looks like we`re call just a bunch of gabons (ph) like they are.
GRAZIANO: Right.
GRAVANO: Right.
BEHAR: You see and that bothers me a bit. So I`m just saying.
GRAZIANO: Well thank you.
BEHAR: You`re welcome.
GRAZIANO: I guess that was a compliment.
BEHAR: Yes, that was. That was.
GRAVANO: All right. Let`s leave now.
GRAZIANO: Oh, we`re good.
BEHAR: Now, now Renee. Renee, you`re dating. Let`s hear about the dating. That`s got to be hard.
GRAZIANO: I am dating?
BEHAR: Yes, aren`t you dating?
GRAZIANO: Nobody wants to date me. Are you kidding me? I`m trying to get a date.
O`REILLY: Oh you`re not dating.
GRAZIANO: Trying -- I`ve been trying to get a date for 12 years, Joy. It`s just not happening.
BEHAR: Yes. You`re divorced from Hector Pagan Jr.
GRAZIANO: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s not Italian.
GRAZIANO: No, it`s not. And we referred to him as Junior. We changed his name when he -- yes we change his name.
BEHAR: Well, how did -- how did your father deal with the fact you didn`t go out with an Italian guy?
GRAZIANO: Well, when I brought him home, he said well, what`s his name? And I go, just ask him when he gets here, just ask him -- and he go, no, no, tell me now. He got in the house and he says Hector Pagan Jr. Junior, your name is Junior. Scratch the rest. You`re just Junior.
So Junior`s been Junior for 23 years now. He has no last name. He`s just Junior.
BEHAR: He`s like Uncle Junior from "The Sopranos".
GRAZIANO: He`s just Junior.
BEHAR: But now, what is the hardest part about dating when you come from your family? Or a family like yours.
GRAZIANO: It`s been my experience, and I`ll tell you a quick little true story. I was -- I didn`t date for a while after my divorce because a lot of people didn`t feel comfortable enough because of my father and my ex-husband. So I finally go out on a date with a nice guy, a normal guy.
BEHAR: Really?
GRAZIANO: Having a great --
BEHAR: What`s your idea of normal?
GRAZIANO: Normal. He had a job. He worked. He worked, he`s a regular guy.
BEHAR: Oh he had a job. Yes, yes.
GRAZIANO: Good guy. Came from like a good background. No trouble, nothing.
BEHAR: Right.
GRAZIANO: We`re on a date, we`re having a great time. I`m like look at this, I`m doing so good.
BEHAR: Yes.
GRAZIANO: He goes so what does your father do for a living? And I go, "time". He goes time? And I go, "federal time". I didn`t even know what to think about it. I got up, I ran to the bathroom I called my sister I go, "Jen, I think I just screwed up the date." And she`s like no, you`re fine.
I come back there`s a bottle of champagne. And look at this guy. Wow, yes there was also note that said he had to go. And that`s how it ended. But at least he picked up the check and he lift a bottle of crystal and so I was good.
BEHAR: Because he was a normal guy. That`s why.
GRAZIANO: Yes so --
BEHAR: But you think they`re afraid -- they`re afraid to get involved. They figure the next thing they know they`ll be involved, be in the mob.
GRAZIANO: No, I think that they`re more afraid if they ever got out of line with me --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Oh yes.
GRAZIANO: -- the consequences. But I will say that any real -- anyone who loves their daughter, mob or no mob, when you love your daughter regardless you have consequences if you do something wrong.
BEHAR: I know but this is a little different. We`re talking cement shoes here. Ok? We`re not talking just the normal father you know, don`t you go near my daughter. We`re talking a hefty background here.
GRAVANO: Right.
GRAZIANO: Any father that loves their daughter would do maybe -- maybe not cement but you know.
BEHAR: Yes I know -- I know my father who was not in the mob threatened a guy one time that came on to me.
FACCIOLO: It`s a normal thing.
BEHAR: That`s right.
Now, what do you think about the fact that they`re making a movie about the Gotti Family now?
GRAVANO: Right.
BEHAR: And your father, Sammy Gravano, he`s in the movie probably because of what you told me before.
GRAVANO: Right.
BEHAR: How do you feel about that?
GRAVANO: You know, it`s their story. So I mean, my father wrote a book, and he told his version of the story. So I mean, I -- I`d be willing to watch the show. I think it would be interesting.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Yes.
Who would you put in the -- who`s going to play Sammy?
GRAVANO: I don`t know who`s going to play him. I mean, I would like to always see like, Robert De Niro. And I know that`s so mob typical --
BEHAR: He`s too old for that. How old was Sammy when he turned state`s evidence?
GRAVANO: I think he was like 50, 48 or something, yes. He`s too old.
BEHAR: Maybe Johnny Depp.
GRAVANO: I like Johnny Depp.
GRAZIANO: Yes.
D`AVANZO: That is awesome.
BEHAR: You like that?
GRAVANO: He`d be good.
GRAZIANO: You like that.
BEHAR: Do you think you`ll be in the movie, your character?
GRAVANO: I don`t think so. I mean, maybe. But I hope not.
BEHAR: What do you think is the -- all right. I have to go. I ran out of time. I could just spend all day with you. But we have more time for the next segment. A-ha. Got you.
We`ll be back with more of this in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAZIANO: When it comes to rats, stoolpigeons, I think that they`re (EXPLETIVE DELETED). And what they do to their families brings disgrace to themselves and to everyone that they associate with.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, listen, I believe in loyalty and all that, too, but at the same time I look at her and I say, how do you judge her for what the father did?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. I`m back with the stars of VH-1`s new reality show "Mob Wives". It`s interesting you that feel worse about the snitching than about the crime. Which is worse, the snitching or the crime?
GRAZIANO: I`m pleading the Fifth.
BEHAR: You`re pleading the Fifth?
GRAZIANO: No comment on that one. No, actually, the truth of the matter is it`s -- it`s just such a complicated world and I think that throughout the show you`ll see so much of my views from the very beginning and how we all start to develop --
BEHAR: You evolve.
GRAZIANO: I`m trying. Therapy is costing me enough. I`d better evolve.
BEHAR: Are you in therapy?
GRAZIANO: Absolutely.
BEHAR: It`s like "Analyze This".
GRAZIANO: It`s like analyze this, that, and the other thing.
GRAVANO: I`m going it need it after this show.
BEHAR: When you used to watch "The Sopranos" and Tony was in therapy -- are you in therapy too?
GRAVANO: No, no.
BEHAR: Are you?
FACCIOLO: No.
GRAZIANO: Why, you think I need it?
BEHAR: Of course. Everybody does.
GRAVANO: Everyone really.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: So just you.
GRAVANO: Yes.
BEHAR: It`s interesting. So when you`re in the chair, do you divulge stuff to the shrink about what went on? Because you know, Tony never really did.
GRAZIANO: You can see it. I do it on air. I actually go to therapy on air.
BEHAR: You do?
GRAZIANO: Excuse me.
BEHAR: I mean isn`t it hard to be completely honest when you`re in this situation?
GRAZIANO: The only thing fake about me is my nose. That`s it. That`s the truth. I give you 100 percent. I`m here to show you exactly why I am in therapy. So why am I going to lie when I get there?
BEHAR: What do you think is the biggest misconception about the mob and the Mafia? What do you think it is? Is there -- something that people out there watching should know about you that you don`t know.
GRAVANO: I mean, for us I think we`re strong women that have been through things. And I think the biggest misconception people look at them like they`re bad men. But they`re fathers and family men. So, you know, for us I think the biggest misconception for me is who my father was as a father instead of a gangster.
BEHAR: Who do you think is worse, Drita, the Italian mob or the Russian mob? Who`s more violent?
D`AVANZO: More violent?
BEHAR: Yes.
FACCIOLO: You asked for that one.
D`AVANZO: Probably my mob. The one you`ve got here in the studio.
BEHAR: I don`t know about the Albanian mob.
D`AVANZO: No. No.
BEHAR: There`s no such thing as an Albanian mob?
D`AVANZO: My father`s like a fed. I come from a totally -- you might as well call him one because he`s a complete opposite of everyone --
BEHAR: Oh, really? So he must have been thrilled with your entree into this group.
D`AVANZO: No, I was completely disowned?
BEHAR: Oh, really?
D`AVANZO: Yes. If it wasn`t for my daughter Aliya, who he fell in love with, my father he`d turn his back on me except for Aliya.
BEHAR: All right. All I can say is it don`t make you a bad person.
GRAZIANO: There you go.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: All right, girls. "Mob Wives" airs Sunday nights on VH-1.
We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Lindsay Lohan has been in and out of rehab, in and out of jail, and now in and out of the upcoming John Gotti movie. Yesterday the producer said Lindsay was out as John Gotti`s daughter Victoria. Today he said she`s in as John Gotti`s daughter-in-law Kim. Here to talk about this and other stories in the news, are Andy Cohen, host of Bravo`s "Watch What Happens Live"; Jessica Shaw, senior writer for "Entertainment Weekly," and Phil Rosenthal, director of "Exporting Raymond" and the producer of "Everybody Loves Raymond." I have to remind them of that, that you are a big shot.
PHIL ROSENTHAL, AUTHOR, "EXPORTING RAYMOND": Don`t forget.
BEHAR: Don`t forget it. I mean, you know, because that was quite a big show. Anyway, but first let`s talk about Lindsay Lohan.
ROSENTHAL: Do we have to?
BEHAR: Well, we don`t have to.
ROSENTHAL: Oh, all right.
BEHAR: We could just sit here and stare at each other. But just quickly I would like to go over a couple of things with you, because the girl was supposed to be Victoria Gotti and now she`s --
(CROSSTALK)
JESSICA SHAW, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Well, she thought she was supposed to be.
BEHAR: Well, I think that they really were thinking about her. And then the report is that her manager was too demanding. There was like, you know, diva by Munchausen process or by proxy, whatever that is. So they`re punishing Lindsay? Is that what happened?
ANDY COHEN, HOST, WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE: Well, I mean, is Kim the gold role in that film?
BEHAR: I don`t think so.
SHAW: I mean, no, this is like --have you ever even heard of her?
COHEN: No. But the fact that they`re giving her a job is a gift.
SHAW: You know, she needs to call the producer. It`s actually a little bit tragic. She had to call the producer after the producer said, you know what, she is not cast as Victoria Gotti, and she basically had to ask to please put me in this movie, and she ultimately made a deal to play Kim. Who the hell is Kim?
BEHAR: Who is Kim anyway?
SHAW: I have no idea. And she had to agree to do another movie by the same production company. It just has a little bit of the --
BEHAR: Icky. It`s a little icky.
SHAW: Yes, it`s a little icky.
BEHAR: But as a producer, Phil, isn`t she an insurance risk?
ROSENTHAL: Well, first of all, if you`re like me, you stay up all night thinking about this.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Why?
ROSENTHAL: It`s so important. But I think you should play the part.
BEHAR: Of Victoria Gotti?
ROSENTHAL: Absolutely. Blond wig--
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: I think I`m too old -- I think it`s about her when she was younger.
ROSENTHAL: I would cast you.
(CROSSTALK)
ROSENTHAL: I think you have what it takes.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: All right. Anyway, who would you cast? Besides me. Who would you put there? I mean, who does she look like? I think we have some look-alike pictures here, don`t we? For Victoria Gotti.
SHAW: I like Daryl Hannah.
BEHAR: Look. That`s Victoria in the middle.
COHEN: Cher. I mean, right?
BEHAR: Cher. And then that is Donatella Versace.
COHEN: Donatella Versace, that`s hilarious.
BEHAR: OK, well, that`s it. Now, let`s move on. Donald Trump. Donald Trump is furious now with Jerry Seinfeld. Why? Because Jerry Seinfeld was supposed to show up at a benefit for his son -- his son`s charity, which happened to be St. Jude`s. And he did not show up. And Jerry did not show up apparently because he does not like this birther business that Donald Trump is obsessing over.
COHEN: Yes.
BEHAR: OK. So Donald has a -- let me show you the angry letter that he wrote. You can read it there. "We don`t care that you broke your commitment, even though the children of St. Jude are very disappointed, and despite the fact that your manager clearly stated you are truly a man of his word. You should be ashamed of yourself." He also mentioned in the letter that he was sorry that he went on that show "Marriage Ref," he says which was a terrible show. This is Donald Trump and the way he behaves when people don`t like him.
ROSENTHAL: Who is he to say anybody should be ashamed of himself? After this birther crap. I`m with Jerry.
BEHAR: Well, we`re all with Jerry on this one, I think. Because Jerry took a stand.
ROSENTHAL: Yes.
BEHAR: And he decided not to do it.
SHAW: Also, this is kind of ridiculous. This is a man who`s theoretically running for president, unless this is a big publicity stunt, which it probably is. Is this how he`s going to treat world leaders? He`s going to say, you know, I don`t like what you did, so I`m going to write some ridiculous letter to you? I mean, this is absurd.
COHEN: He seems to have too thin of a skin to actually go through with this. But I`m waiting for a show, if he does, called "The Cabinet," where he auditions people to be in his cabinet, giving them kind of Apprentice-like challenges. To see, like NeNe Leakes or Star Jones. Who is going to be the secretary of commerce?
BEHAR: I think it`s more the secretary of war.
COHEN: Yes. Well, there you go. Exactly.
BEHAR: Now, he also said that -- listen to this. Trump also criticized Jerry -- first of all, let me put out there that Jerry did make a donation to St. Jude`s.
COHEN: Yes.
BEHAR: And he also made a donation to the Trump son`s thing. Whatever.
COHEN: And it`s in September, this event. It`s in September.
BEHAR: So he gave them plenty of notice.
COHEN: Yes.
ROSENTHAL: But is this even a thing? Who is not on Jerry Seinfeld`s side here?
SHAW: Melania Trump.
BEHAR: Melania.
SHAW: Exactly. I watched her on the show.
BEHAR: I don`t know. That`s a good question. I really don`t know who would put up with Donald on this one.
COHEN: Omarosa.
BEHAR: Omarosa. But he also criticized the show "Marriage Ref." He referenced Jerry Seinfeld`s rider. You know how they have a contract rider? Jerry wants a certain kind of water. He wanted fig newtons. And he asked for no baby carrots. Jerry wants no baby carrots. First of all, that`s odd, isn`t it, to ask for no baby carrots?
COHEN: Maybe it was a joke.
BEHAR: You think so?
(CROSSTALK)
SHAW: It was also he wanted the original fig newtons. I love that he had to specify the originals. Not the low-fat ones.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: The real deal.
SHAW: Right.
COHEN: He appreciates a good cookie.
BEHAR: But I have seen some --
COHEN: What`s the problem here?
BEHAR: I`ve seen some of those riders. I`m sure you all have. And people ask for the moon. This is not that big a deal.
(CROSSTALK)
SHAW: It was very like very third-grade playground, like I`m going to leak your rider to everyone because you wouldn`t do my son`s benefit. Just --
BEHAR: Do you think, though, that since Jerry committed to the event he should have kept his word?
SHAW: No. Because how else would Brett Michaels get work?
(LAUGHTER)
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: OK, so he did a mitzvah for Brett Michaels.
SHAW: It`s a total mitzvah.
BEHAR: And also the governor of Hawaii now is slamming Trump. He`s saying that he knew President Obama when he was a baby.
COHEN: Right.
BEHAR: I think the run, presidential run for Trump might be going a little off the tracks now. He`s ticking off everyone in Hawaii.
ROSENTHAL: How was it ever considered serious anyway?
BEHAR: Well, the media covers it as if it`s serious. The news channels do.
COHEN: I think once he started scoring in the polls is when everyone started acting like it was a real thing.
ROSENTHAL: But he started scoring in the polls because you`re covering him.
(CROSSTALK)
ROSENTHAL: So stop covering him.
SHAW: And he also said there`s going to be a big announcement on the "Apprentice" finale, which of course he`s going to make his big political announcement on the season finale of his show. Please watch, tune in, you know. It`s ridiculous.
COHEN: This whole thing is going to be over when the "Celebrity Apprentice" ends its season.
BEHAR: You think so?
COHEN: Without question.
BEHAR: And what is Donald going to say then? He`s just going to say never mind? I was kidding?
COHEN: He will say I -- I mean, has he ever said I`m running for president? I mean, he`s just going to say no.
BEHAR: I changed my mind. And everybody will just say oh, really? OK. Yes.
OK, this is interesting. Do you know that the happiest people in the world are in Denmark? And that the most unhappy people -- well, we don`t know who they are -- but the Americans are number 12. Denmark is number 1. Why are Americans unhappy? I thought this is the greatest country in the world. What is the problem here?
ROSENTHAL: Maybe they`re touching each other with real people in Denmark instead of having to buy vibrators in the store.
BEHAR: We skipped that topic, Phil.
ROSENTHAL: Oh, OK. I went back. It caught my attention.
SHAW: You know, it`s amazing that the countries that are the happiest, 1 through 10, are not at war with 10,000 different countries. They actually have health care.
BEHAR: Cradle to grave.
SHAW: Right, exactly, and here we are at number 12.
COHEN: They`re blond.
SHAW: They`re blond.
BEHAR: Do you think that that has something to do with it, that they`re blond?
COHEN: I feel like if I was blond I`d be a little happier.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: There`s such a thing as peroxide, Andy.
(CROSSTALK)
COHEN: No, but real, real collars, cuffs, the whole thing. That`s -- I do.
BEHAR: Now, it`s interesting that Denmark, being the happiest country, also has one of the highest suicide rates in the world. Isn`t it interesting?
ROSENTHAL: Wow. So there`s no middle class there. You`re either happy or you`re dead. OK.
BEHAR: Maybe it`s because people are so happy there that if you`re depressed, you can`t take it. You know, you`re miserable that everyone`s happy -- it`s like I felt in Los Angeles. I hated everything about Los Angeles because people were happy. The sun was shining all the time. People are out surfing. They`re out in the streets, you know, saying how great they are. They`re bodybuilding. It`s so annoying.
ROSENTHAL: It`s like in Disneyland.
BEHAR: Yes.
ROSENTHAL: It`s like Disneyland. They`re telling you how happy you are. They actually call it the happiest place on earth. And all I see is people schlupping around, hey, another line, another -- they couldn`t be more miserable. So you`re right. The more you tell people that they are happy--
BEHAR: The more unhappy they are.
ROSENTHAL: I think so.
COHEN: I like it that Israel is number 7 on this list.
BEHAR: The Israelis, they are under attack constantly.
COHEN: I know.
BEHAR: Scud muscles -- muscles. Scud missiles. Only the guys I dated.
(CROSSTALK)
ROSENTHAL: That`s what they called me in high school, Scud muscles.
BEHAR: I love a Jewish guy with a Scud muscle. Oh my God, I`m getting excited just thinking of it.
SHAW: I`m sitting with two Scud muscles right here.
BEHAR: That`s true. Two Jewish Scud muscles. All right, anyway, what about that? Do you want to say anything about that, that Israelis are happy, before we go?
ROSENTHAL: I was there. They seemed very happy. Yes. The weather`s nice. Right? The beach is right there. You know, the city. Very nice, Tel Aviv.
BEHAR: So you would say then that Los Angeles people are happier than New Yorkers because the weather`s nicer?
ROSENTHAL: The weather helps. But I don`t know about Denmark weather. It seems very cold, right?
BEHAR: It`s very cold.
(CROSSTALK)
COHEN: They also might be more medicated in L.A.
BEHAR: They`re medicated.
COHEN: They might be more medicated in L.A. than they are here.
BEHAR: Yes. I know when I was there for six months, I was highly medicated.
COHEN: You know what? You`ve got to do what you`ve got to do just to get through.
BEHAR: I came back to the subways and the grit and the filth and the nastiness of New York. I love it.
ROSENTHAL: And you were happy.
BEHAR: I was happy.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Thanks, guys, very much. You can catch Andy on "Watch What Happens Live" tonight at 11:00 on Bravo. And Phil is sticking around. In the next block, we`ll be joined by his friend and my friend also, Ray Romano, a Scud muscle in his own right. God.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Ever since we won the cold war, the Russians have been buying American, our beer, our cars, and now our comedy. The new film "Exporting Raymond" follows Phil Rosenthal, the creator of the hit sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond" as he tries to recreate Raymond for Russian TV. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We want to talk a little bit about, you know, Raymond`s --
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He gets around to saying how hilarious "The Nanny" is and how funny it is and why it`s so funny.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It`s funny even when just reading the script.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And when I read Raymond --
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It is not funny.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: With me is Phil Rosenthal. And joining us by phone is the star of "Everybody Loves Raymond," Ray Romano. Hey, Raymond. How are you?
RAY ROMANO, ACTOR: I`m good. I`m actually -- I have a little cold. So if I start coughing, please excuse me. But I`m good. How are you doing?
BEHAR: Raymond, your voice doesn`t change when you have a cold. You sound the same.
ROMANO: Yeah, on this end, it`s a little raspy. But--
ROSENTHAL: He was doing it with a cold.
ROMANO: -- probably when it gets to you, it clears up.
BEHAR: His voice is very deep.
ROSENTHAL: It`s deep and it`s got a little bit of the cold.
BEHAR: Yeah, naturally. Now, Raymond, in the film the Russian writers say that Raymond is a soft guy, not very masculine.
ROMANO: Yes. I mean, I just went to the premiere last week. I had to sit through that. They kind of went on and on about what a wimp I was.
BEHAR: They did. I mean, I saw the film.
ROSENTHAL: Well, they say that Russian men are not like that, they`re very macho and they go home and they`re the boss. And I thought this is baloney. I just didn`t believe it when they said that, because I don`t care who you are. When you get home, your wife tells you what to do.
BEHAR: Not all husbands would agree with that.
ROSENTHAL: Yes. In public. And yet at home they say hi, honey, what can I get you?
BEHAR: OK. You think Arnold Schwarzenegger acts like that around Maria?
ROSENTHAL: I do. I do.
BEHAR: I don`t think so.
ROSENTHAL: I think she`s got him wrapped up--
ROMANO: Even Tony Soprano had to listen to his wife a little bit, right?
BEHAR: That`s true, I guess you`re right.
ROMANO: He was afraid of her a little bit.
BEHAR: But the Russians, they were very macho about it. They don`t like to admit it.
ROSENTHAL: That`s the show. Right? So the movie`s about getting under the show a little.
BEHAR: Tell me about the movie a little.
ROSENTHAL: Well, they asked me to go to Russia and try to help the Russians turn "Everybody Loves Raymond" into "Everybody Loves Kostia." And they sent a film crew with me to document the whole thing.
BEHAR: Yes. And this happens in other countries, too, they send films--
ROSENTHAL: No. This is the first time. This is the first time the creator of the show has gone over there to help them translate. They take our scripts. We have 210 scripts. We were on the air for nine years. They have all these scripts. They just take the scripts. Whatever they don`t like or don`t understand, they throw out, and then they film the show and with --
ROMANO: They don`t write their own scripts or anything. They just take our scripts.
BEHAR: They take your scripts. Yes.
ROSENTHAL: But sometimes they will write a little part of it. So like where I had a fruit of the month club scene in the pilot.
BEHAR: Right.
ROSENTHAL: OK, where my mother got too much fruit and she was -- acted like I --
BEHAR: Like Doris Roberts acted when she was so horrified by all the fruit that was coming her way.
ROSENTHAL: Exactly right. As if we had sent her a box of heads from a murderer instead of pears. OK.
BEHAR: Yes.
ROSENTHAL: So this really happened to me. OK? So we put it in the pilot to illustrate how crazy Ray`s parents are. Right?
BEHAR: Right.
ROSENTHAL: So they don`t have fruit of the month in Russia. So they changed it to water of the week.
BEHAR: OK.
ROSENTHAL: A sparklets (ph) water.
ROMANO: (inaudible), would that be head, head of the month.
ROSENTHAL: That`s it. Now you`ve got a show. Maybe in Russia they`d like that better.
ROMANO: Send her a head every month.
BEHAR: Now, did you -- both of you -- of course you have probably. You`ve seen the pilot that they came up with, right? The Russian version.
ROSENTHAL: Yes.
BEHAR: What did you think of what they did? Well, let me ask Raymond first. Raymond, what did you think?
ROMANO: I didn`t see it. I don`t know. Phil, you saw it? I haven`t seen it.
BEHAR: Oh.
ROSENTHAL: Ray only saw what we show in the movie, you know, the making of it. But you got a pretty good sense I think --
ROMANO: Yes, I saw the scene. I saw the guy who`s playing me. Or Raymond.
ROSENTHAL: Yes. By the way, it`s "Everybody Loves Kostia."
ROMANO: It works, right? It works for them, right?
BEHAR: Yeah.
ROSENTHAL: It works for them. That`s who it`s for. It`s not for Ray and me and you. It`s for them.
BEHAR: No, it`s an Italian-American family here.
ROSENTHAL: Yes.
BEHAR: And they have Russians there. How does that exactly translate?
ROSENTHAL: I don`t know. It`s their business.
BEHAR: They have -- yes.
ROMANO: But they also had to change certain aspects of it, like they couldn`t live across the street from each other. Right, Phil? Because nobody --
ROSENTHAL: There is no middle class.
ROMANO: They don`t really have houses across the street. So they lived in the apartments next to each other.
ROSENTHAL: The apartment across the hall. That was the big change.
BEHAR: I see. But they also said something about how Raymond makes it look -- the show makes it look like these are regular people and not rich or anything like that. And the Russians didn`t seem to like that idea, either.
ROSENTHAL: At the first production meeting, I`m telling them, you know, it should be relatable to your audience. It doesn`t have to be American relatable to Russia. Make it Russian, typical Russian family, everything should look the way it does in the typical Russian household.
BEHAR: They didn`t like that.
ROSENTHAL: Beautiful lady raises her head at the first production meeting, dressed impeccably. She said, I think the show should be used to teach the Russian population about high fashion.
BEHAR: She wanted to dress everybody like it was "Dynasty."
ROSENTHAL: Exactly right. And so she showed me, lady in cashmere thing with fancy pants, jewelry, fancy shoes. I said, you understand she`s cleaning the kitchen in this scene, right? She said yes, but she`s on television. I said, yes, but she doesn`t know she`s on television. She thinks she`s cleaning.
BEHAR: That`s true. It`s very funny. It`s very funny. And they also say, the Russian producers wanted a famous actor for one of the parts. But he wasn`t funny.
ROSENTHAL: He just wasn`t right. I wouldn`t say he wasn`t funny because--
BEHAR: No, he wasn`t funny.
ROSENTHAL: -- he could be funny in -- well, you can say--
BEHAR: Well, he was funny -- he was funny after he got the right direction.
ROSENTHAL: OK.
BEHAR: I saw that part.
ROSENTHAL: I still wouldn`t cast that guy in the role. Not that everybody has to be Ray. We saw a good actor. I think if you see the movie, you see somebody that I really wanted. He actually looked like a young Robert De Niro, right?
BEHAR: Yes. He was good-looking.
ROSENTHAL: So we liked him. Couldn`t get him.
BEHAR: I know you couldn`t get him because of that guy. Now, Raymond, I understand that you`re guest-starring on "The Office" also.
ROMANO: Oh, I did a guest spot last week. Yes, I filmed it last week. Yes, the finale of this year.
BEHAR: Who`s going to take over --
ROMANO: Not me. Can I stress not me?
BEHAR: Not you? No?
ROMANO: Because I`ve seen enough hate letters on the Internet already.
BEHAR: Why? What are they saying about you?
ROMANO: What do you mean? Nobody wants me to take over for Steve Carell.
ROSENTHAL: I would watch.
ROMANO: I don`t know. Look, I mean, I guess they don`t think I fit in. You know, on the Internet, you can find all the -- all the people -- all the haters.
ROSENTHAL: Who needs them? Ray has a perfectly good show, "Men of a Certain Age." That`s a great show.
BEHAR: That is a good show. And when -- Raymond, when you`re in New York, you`re going to come and sit here with me, I hope? Because I`d love to see you again. We go back, Ray and I.
ROMANO: I will. I will.
BEHAR: Come and sit here.
ROMANO: If my cold is gone. You don`t want me if I have a cold.
BEHAR: That`s all right. I`m immune to you.
ROMANO: All right.
BEHAR: Yeah. OK, thank you guys very much. And you can see "Exporting Raymond" in select theaters on April 29th. We`ll be back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Do you feel like the only way to get fit is by hiring a personal trainer? Well, turns out you don`t have to, as long as you hit the gym with the right plan. Here now with his training trips is Tom Holland, author of "Beat the Gym: Personal Trainer`s Secrets Without the Personal Trainer`s Price Tag." Sounds interesting, Tom.
TOM HOLLAND, PERSONAL TRAINER: Yes.
BEHAR: No. 1, you say start with an exercise you hate. Now why would I do that?
HOLLAND: Right, counterintuitive, right? Why are we going to do that? Our bodies are really smart machines, Joy, and they get acclimated to anything we do. So you continue to do the same workout, your body is not going to change. So just one exercise that your body is not acclimated to is going to help you get results.
BEHAR: I don`t want to do that. OK, next--
(LAUGHTER)
HOLLAND: I feel like that was a problem.
BEHAR: I did this sit-up once--
HOLLAND: Just one?
BEHAR: Just one sit-up and I said, that`s it, I`m not doing that again.
HOLLAND: Just do one. That`s fine.
BEHAR: Just do one what?
HOLLAND: One sit-up. Start there.
BEHAR: So if I go on my recumbent bike a lot, that`s not good enough? What`s wrong with that?
HOLLAND: No, it is good, it is good, but you get better at doing it. So you start to lose a couple of pounds. Then your body gets better at doing the recumbent bike, so you start to stop seeing results.
BEHAR: So then go faster.
HOLLAND: Faster -- do intervals.
BEHAR: Stronger. Yes, OK. It says do not use fat burning programs. I assume you mean on the treadmill?
HOLLAND: Totally, totally fuzzy math. They should not be on any piece of cardio equipment. It`s basically saying as we sit here right now we`re burning just about every calorie from fat. As we burn more calories, you`re going to burn more total calories and more fat calories, but you don`t want to stay at -- you don`t get more by doing less. The people at the front of the marathon are not heavier than the people at the back.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You`re saying it`s going to make you fatter.
HOLLAND: Because you`re not going to get the results. A 150-pound woman who walks for an hour at that, you know, pace will burn four Oreos. I mean, that`s the math.
BEHAR: That`s good. What`s wrong with that?
HOLLAND: If you only eat four Oreos, that`s fine, right. But you`re just not getting that many calories at the low (ph) end (ph).
BEHAR: OK. Yoga and pilates do not make you skinny. Well, we know that, because there is no calories burned.
HOLLAND: You know that.
BEHAR: Yeah.
HOLLAND: But so many women and men even go into those classes thinking they`re going to lose weight doing those classes. It`s self- selecting. Those women walked in that door--
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: But it does redo your body. That`s what type of--
(CROSSTALK)
HOLLAND: It`s fantastic for--
BEHAR: So you lose inches. Maybe not -- not fat, fat itself. I`m not--
HOLLAND: You lose inches because you`re competing with the women in that class, and you want to be as skinny as they are.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: No, that`s not what I mean.
HOLLAND: I know.
BEHAR: What I meant was that you`re stretching, and you`re toning, and you look slimmer. You go down a size from that stuff. You can. No?
HOLLAND: You can. It helps. But it`s just not burning that many calories.
BEHAR: OK, this I love. Observe the one-cheat rule.
HOLLAND: Yes.
BEHAR: Now, what do you mean by cheat?
HOLLAND: I think of the day as a 24-hour day cycle. So five meals -- let`s say we`re eating four to five meals a day. One of those meals, just cheat. It`s OK. If you cheat once a day and once a week, you`re going to be good about 80 percent of the time, that`s great.
BEHAR: But what`s the cheat? Can I eat like a cake? Is that a good cheat?
HOLLAND: If you only cheated that time, that day, yeah, I mean, you know.
BEHAR: I could eat an entire cake one day a week?
(LAUGHTER)
HOLLAND: Yes.
BEHAR: Baloney.
HOLLAND: If that`s all do you, if you`re good those other six days, absolutely. I do. A pint of Ben and Jerry`s every week.
BEHAR: A pint of Ben and Jerry`s?
HOLLAND: Yes, 1,500 calories.
BEHAR: What`s your favorite flavor?
HOLLAND: Phish food.
BEHAR: What?
HOLLAND: Phish food.
BEHAR: Phish food?
HOLLAND: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s an ice cream flavor?
HOLLAND: P-h.
BEHAR: That is disgusting.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Thank you for watching. Good night, everybody.
END
