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CNN Larry King Live
Elections and Comedy
Aired November 01, 2008 - 23:59 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LARRY KING, CNN ANCHOR: Tonight -- what are we electing, politicians or punch lines?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JON STEWART, DAILY SHOW: Palin has gone rogue!
KING: Democrats or Republicans? Who has the last laugh?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm voting for Obama.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm voting for McCain.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: End it, end it, end it.
KING: The 2008 presidential campaign, it's a comedy gold mine. Mo Rocca hits the streets.
MO ROCCA, COMEDIAN: Who looks better on a pumpkin, McCain or Obama?
KING: Plus, D.L. Hughley, Kathy Griffin and others are here, joking all the way to the voting booth, right now on LARRY KING LIVE.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Good evening. D.L. Hughley's new show is but an hour away. And once again, we precede it with some of the top comics in the business looking at political humor. And we start with Kathy Griffin, the Emmy-winning host of Bravo's "My Life on the D List." Kathy is in New York. She's been a frequent guest. We thank her for coming. Are you ready for this campaign to be over?
KATHY GRIFFIN, COMEDIAN: I can't wait. I feel like it's the Super Bowl, and I hate football. But, I mean, in this case, I love it. What I mean is normally I wouldn't watch the Super Bowl, but yes, I'm having an Election Day party. I've ordered a cake. I'm excited.
But I'll tell you I'm nervous about. I'm nervous about a voter, not Joe the Plumber. I'm nervous about a voter called Whitey McWhiterson. I'm just one of those nervous people that I know Obama is ahead in the polls but I'm nervous about Whitey McGee.
KING: Who is he?
GRIFFIN: Closes the certain and then -- it's a he/she. And by that, I do not mean the GLBT community. What I mean is I'm nervous about the voter that might have a hint of racism on their back, and then that might affect their vote. So I'm hoping, hoping, hoping, I have the audacity of hope is what I have, that Obama is going to win.
KING: How do these candidates stack up for the humorous person? Are they good fodder?
GRIFFIN: Well, OK. There's really a huge imbalance. First of all, the Obama ticket, you know, is a little bit funny, you know, you can say, oh, he's really skinny. He's like, you know, the lost Olsen triplet or something. It doesn't really write itself.
And with the McCain ticket, you know, it's a little easier, because as a comedian, I got a gift from Baby Jesus, and the name of that gift is Sarah Palin. She is just heaven on a stick. I really do owe her a muffin basket, as do all comedians. And I'm fascinated not just by Sarah, but there are many, many Palins that fascinate me.
KING: What do you mean?
GRIFFIN: That's right. I'm talking about little Bristol. Little Bristol who had a little secret is what I'm saying, Larry. And also, I think it's odd that Sarah Palin gives her kids the wacky celebrity names, you know, like when begin Gwyneth Paltrow and Julia Roberts give her kids those weird names and Sarah Palin's kids are Track, Trig, Willow, Piper, Bristol. Who is next? Suri? I'm suspicious, I'm nervous. I'm nervous.
KING: OK, in terms of media coverage, Sarah Palin has been on an obvious roller coaster and "The Daily Show" took on the latest twist in her campaign saga this way. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVID SHUSTER, MSNBC CORRESPONDENT: Sarah Palin increasingly is going to go rogue.
UNIDENTIFIED MAKE: Going rogue on John McCain.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Rogue.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Rogue, rogue.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She's going rogue!
STEWART: Ready, go to alpha dog! Ready, go to alpha dog! The salmon is swimming upstream! Repeat! The salmon is -- wait, no. I guess rogue would be downstream. Whatever! Code name salmon doing the other -- roll the clip!
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They found her in the wild.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The young governor of Alaska is a virtual unknown.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They taught her everything.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They are reportedly bringing in the heavy- hitters to give her that last-minute coaching tip.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We decided to make it female, so that it would be more docile and controllable.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They set her loose.
GOV. SARAH PALIN (R-AK), VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: To pal around with terrorists who targeted their own country?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But they forgot one thing. She couldn't be contained. This November, Sarah Palin is "Goin' Rogue."
PALIN: You betcha.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: What do you make of that concept, Kathy? Is she going rogue?
GRIFFIN: It's great. Rogue is now an adjective and a verb and noun all in one. I think it's funny when she goes rogue, because when she goes rogue, it's oh so wrong. So I like the malapropisms and all the missteps. All the gaffes are great.
I also love the $150,000 clothing wardrobe and then trying to act like, what, I didn't even check the tags. I mean, what's this Valentino, I never heard of her. So I just think it's interesting, if you're going to dig up some dirt, you know, Sarah Palin is like a big old pile of dirt and I'm a shovel.
I'm also fascinated by Wasilla, which I just want to say, you know, for the whole that the country that should be governed using the model of Wasilla, I don't know. I'm a big city girl, I admit it, but Wasilla looks kind of depressing, like a little bit of a bummer, I'm just going to say it.
KING: Ever been there?
GRIFFIN: I've been to Alaska, I've not been to Wasilla. But I would say that there are other cities that maybe would be a better model for our country than Wasilla. And I don't mean to go rogue on Wasilla. But Wasilla seems like the type of place you would work really hard to get out of, you know? I don't have a lot of friends that are like, oh, some day I'm going to live in that gated compound in Wasilla. Someday.
KING: Do you think women get dogged more about what they wear when they run for office than men do? Do women get treated differently when they run for office than men do?
GRIFFIN: Yes, of course! Sexism is still absolutely raging in this country, as is racism. And the sad thing is, really, Hillary paid the price. Then the Miss Alaska runner-up comes along in a bathing suit and the white heels and me and my gays know that that those white heels did not match that red bathing suit, first. And she has got the flute and where is the sexism now when we need it? People really tortured Hillary because they didn't like her suit or they didn't like her figure and now Sarah is a strong woman? You know, no, it's not washing with me.
KING: Wait a minute. If we have sexism and racism --
GRIFFIN: Yeah.
KING: -- it's going to play out where in this race on Tuesday? Because we have both present.
GRIFFIN: Well, luckily, we have this really bad economy, and luckily --
KING: Luckily.
GRIFFIN: Luckily, whew! Luckily, people will -- I think it will usurp their smaller things that they know they shouldn't be voting about, and luckily they will just be thinking, oh, I'm going to be repoed on any minute now. So I guess really I should just vote for the smarter person. Who is with me? Say aye.
KING: Do you think Hillary would have been a better vice presidential choice for Obama?
GRIFFIN: I do. I think Joe Biden is obviously very, very bright and very capable. But I'm a huge Hillary fan, so I hope she has a place on the Cabinet or the Supreme Court. I mean, she's really a fantastic role model and so, so smart, and has become a great politician.
But, you know, I kind of like the old Hillary better, the one that got really torn down for the health care plan back in the day. But she just has it, you know? It obviously would have been great to see Palin debate Clinton. That would have been just a bloodbath. That would have been like -- I don't know if you watch "The Hills," Larry, but it would have been when Heidi and Spencer walked back into Teddy's and L.C. didn't even know they were coming for the party. Like that.
KING: We'll be right back with Kathy Griffin. By the way, go to our blog, CNN.com/LarryKing and tell us which candidate is the funniest. Kathy Griffin again after the break.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVID LETTERMAN, TALK SHOW HOST: We have a clip of the earlier prime-time Barack Obama show.
(MUSIC VIDEO)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: We're back with Kathy Griffin, who, by the way, she's got a couple of great dates coming up. The Kodak Theater here in Los Angeles, December 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th. And Madison Square Garden, February 19th and 20th, and I understand most of the tickets are gone.
GRIFFIN: Yeah, they're going to add the 21st to the Garden. And they may add a fifth night to the Kodak.
KING: That's great. And I saw the full-page ad in the papers. You must feel very proud of yourself. And you deserve it!
GRIFFIN: Oh, Larry, I feel very famous every time I talk to you. What I need, though, I need to make one of those gaffes that Sarah Palin makes to get for publicity. Because let me tell you something, if she was an actress, she would be home-free. Can't you see her mug shot? Or maybe she starts hanging out with Nicole Richie? She was born for L.A.
KING: We have seen politicians doing plenty of celebrity tax stuff this election cycle. We've also seen celebrities trying to be political players. Here's a sample.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TOM HANKS, ACTOR: I'm Tom Hanks, and I want Barack Obama to be the next president of our country.
MATT DAMON, ACTOR: Who do I think will be or who do I want?
CHRIS MATTHEWS, MSNBC ANCHOR: No, who do you want?
DAMON: Barack Obama.
ROBERT DENIRO, ACTOR: Obama.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Vote for me.
HULK HOGAN, WRESTLER: And say who I really believe in that catches my ear that makes sense, that really could make a change? I would say Obama.
GOV. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER (R), CALIFORNIA: To be our next president of the united states, so let's hear it for Senator McCain. Thank you very much.
DONALD TRUMP, ENTERPRENEUR: And I think he's going to be a great president.
KING: So you're endorsing him.
TRUMP: Sure. I'll endorse him on your show, why not?
KING: You just endorsed him.
TRUMO: I endorse him.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Solid, mature experience at this time in our lives. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I understand you're voting for John McCain. Good. I'm just calling to say thanks.
SYLVESTER STALLONE, ACTOR: We need somebody who has been in that to deal with it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Look at that, you got the endorsement of Sylvester Stallone. Congratulations!
SEN. JOHN MCCAIN (R-AZ), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I'm going to Philadelphia and run up the steps.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Why doesn't John McCain get more of a break? I'm not kidding. He's funny. He's got a sense of humor. Maybe overly --
GRIFFIN: Larry, you just talked to him a few days ago. Because he went against everything he believes in, and he knows it. Look, he's not the John McCain of 2000 that we all liked. He is a facade at this point. I mean, the choice in running mate -- I mean, I'm not a Colin Powell fan. I think he did a terrible disservice going to the U.N. lying about the weapons and all that, but even Colin Powell is saying this isn't the John McCain that we fell in love with in 2000.
And I think that's why. Nobody doesn't like John McCain personally, nobody thinks he is a bad guy. It's not like when poor Clinton had his marital problems and people just wanted to absolutely tar and feather him. But John McCain, he obviously has pulled a lot of moves that were confusing to people. And he seems flustered all the time. And Palin as a running choice is not -- is illogical, for obvious reasons. But I have to say about the celebrity endorsements, they are always amusing to watch.
KING: Because they don't sell you.
GRIFFIN: Well, I'm just saying -- Hulk Hogan and Donald Trump, you know, you know what's good for them. They're good Americans and some might even vote.
KING: Director David Zucker, who is backing McCain, says being Republican is the new gay in Hollywood. People are in the closet about being pro pro-GOP. What do you think?
GRIFFIN: Oh, that's such BS. First how, I love how the Republicans are now the underdogs. Right, so that's McCain's new thing. I am being outspent. Yeah, welcome to the club. All right, you have been doing this for four years, so congratulations with your Reaganonomics that you're so proud of.
And secondly, underdogs? You had the House and the Senate and the presidency. You had it all. You had it all. So they don't know what it's like to be underdogs then for a long time. Conservatism has changed by definition, anyway, and I think the country is sending them a message, saying, we need a change, we need it to be a big, big change. And there are too many ways to associate McCain with Bush. People don't like -- they don't care for Bush anymore.
KING: You have your fingers on the pulse of the gay community. You really know the gay community.
GRIFFIN: Oh, the gays want Obama. A couple log cabin gays might want John McCain. But the gays I would say want Obama.
KING: Why?
GRIFFIN: Like every group, they have their agenda. And first of all, I think he made a big impact in the 2004 convention when he said our gay friends, our gay brothers ask sisters. You know, I think in the gay community, they just want to be acknowledged and that's why there is such a big deal about the no on Prop 8 in California. It's one thing for gays to have a more difficult time in life than the rest of us. It's another thing to have legislation against you. So I think the gays are very smart. Let me tell you something, they are an army and they mobilize, and they're very good.
KING: But Obama is against gay marriage.
GRIFFIN: He's against gay marriage, but first of all, baby steps. Doesn't mean he's against it. Second of all, he knows this country isn't ready for gay marriage, except for Ellen and Portia, we make an exception. It's kind of like when Hillary said that the gays in the military don't ask, don't tell, was a baby step policy. And now its time has passed and I think we'll start with the civil unions and then we'll get to the marriage and then finally our economy is going to shoot up. Because you know the gays are going to spend a fortune on those weddings!
KING: Kathy, we'll be seeing you at the Kodak Theater in L.A. in December and at Madison Square Garden in February. Thanks again for being with us.
GRIFFIN: Thanks, Lar.
KING: D.L. Hughley, Mo Rocca and Aisha Tyler are coming up. We'll be back in 60 seconds.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: "Saturday Night Live" has been a prime source of political comedy this election season. Also been a be-seen place for the candidates. This weekend was no exception. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MCCAIN: Are you someone who likes fine jewelry and also respects a politician who can reach across the aisle? If so, you can't go wrong with McCain fine gold. It commemorates the McCain/Feingold Act and also looks great with evening wear. Thank you, Cindy.
TINA FEY, ACTRESS: What busy hockey mom wouldn't want to freshen up her home with Sarah Palin Ayers fresheners. You plus these into the wall when something doesn't quite smell right. Also too it's good because it reminds people about William Ayers.
MCCAIN: Having trouble cutting through a tough piece of pork? Not anymore. With John McCain's complete set of pork knives, they cut the pork out.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
D.L. HUGHLEY, CNN HOST: CNN has received reports of irregularities with electronic voting machines in Lake County, Indiana. Some footage has just come in. Let's take a look.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Let's meet our panel on getting close, three days away. D.L. Hughley is here, the host of CNN's new weekend show "D.L. Hughley Breaks the News," which by the way did super last weekend. And we are preceding it again tonight. Jeffrey Ross, the roast master general. His stand-up special "No Offense" is now out on DVD. I have it right in front of me. Recent competitor by the way eliminated from "Dancing with the Stars."
JEFFREY ROSS, COMEDIA: Oh Larry, don't bring that up.
KING: In New York, Mo Rocca, comedian and pundit. He's a contributor to "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and "CBS Sunday Morning." And he's well a graduate of Harvard. No?
ROCCA: No, that's fine.
KING: I lied. Leave it at that.
ROCCA: It's true, it's true.
KING: And a graduate of Dartmouth is here as well, Aisha Tyler. Aisha by the way has a big special coming on "Comedy Central." OK, let's watch this. This is the final weekend of the campaign. It started about 100 years ago. Some folks want it over. Check this bit out from "The Daily Show."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNDIENTIFIED MALE: I'm calling it. It's official. At 11:18, Tuesday, October 28th, I'm officially calling this election for I'm sick of this (BLEEP). We can't waste any more time on 270towin.com or 538.com or helpingtonsofpolls.com.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm Joe the Plumber.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm Joe the Plumber.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm Joe the Plumber.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm Joe the sick of (BLEEP).
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes we can.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes we can.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, we can't.
CROWD: Yes, we can.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm voting for Obama.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm voting for McCain.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: End it, end it, end it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Jeffrey Ross?
ROSS: Yes?
KING: Are you glad it's almost over?
ROSS: As a black man, I feel I have to support Barack Obama. I see the finish line, Larry. I think McCain looks like he's starting to lose it a little bit.
KING: Really? In what way?
ROSS: Well I mean he saw the whole thing going in the toilet, hired Joe the Plumber. I think McCain's last chance, his last hope at this point is that the old people in Florida, they get confused and they accidentally vote Barack winner of "Dancing with the Stars."
KING: Aisha, are you glad?
AISHA TYLER, ACTRESS: No, I'm not. I feel like I'm just like in the middle of the best bender of my life. You know what I mean? Like you ever go out with your friends and you just start drinking and you feel like a champ? Like right now it's the middle of the night and I could do like 30 more shots of politics before I go down. I love it, cheers. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's over.
KING: Can't get enough?
TYLER: I can't get enough. I just eat the Internet. I'm just on it all day long. I'm in my sweatpants, I haven't showered. I'm like gripping the mouse. I don't know what I'm going to -- I'll have to do Internet gambling.
KING: D.L., does your show continue after the election?
HUGHLEY: Absolutely.
TYLER: It would be a short run.
KING: It's on for a long time, right?
HUGHLEY: Yeah right. I got two things, two days before, I'm on the special ballot.
KING: Are you looking for it to end?
HUGHLEY: I am. I'm exhausted. Look, there's no such thing as an undecided voter. Everybody knows who they're going to vote for. People can say, oh, Barack had eight kids. I go, everybody has done something I don't like. But I think yeah, there is a lot of voter fatigue.
KING: Mo, what about you?
ROCCA: Larry, I don't know how to talk about anything else. I've forgotten. So I'm concerned. I don't know anything about basketball. I know a little bit about pottery. I have a kiln. I have to think of something else to talk about. So I think whoever is elected, one of their first duties in the first 100 days should be dictating a new national conversation. I'm particularly concerned about the army of pundits in the election center at CNN. There has to be some WPA program to keep these people employed because they're going to be droves laid off.
KING: There are a lot of them.
ROCCA: I'm going to hire Gloria Borger as a life coach because she's really great at the whole, "What Barack Obama needs to do...what John McCain has to say." It's very life-coachey.
KING: How do you rate this campaign as a source of humor?
ROSS: A source of humor? This is a-plus plus.
KING: But Barack Obama isn't funny.
ROSS: Have you seen his ears, Larry? Have you seen his jump shot on YouTube?
TYLER: Have you seen him dance? That's why he's such a super cultural, like a super racial candidate because he definitely doesn't dance like a black man.
KING: Is this a funny group, this four?
ROSS: This right here, these candidates, are probably the greatest ever. There's nothing better than making jokes about john McCain. There's nothing -- Sarah Palin, $150,000 on clothes? I'm from New York. Eliot Spitzer spends that to get women out of their clothes. $150, that's noting, that's what you spend on suspenders in two weeks. You know, Sarah Palin, she -- I don't want to see her in the White House. I want to see her in "Penthouse."
TYLER: Nice, nice.
ROCCA: The bridge to no underwear. KING: We'll be right back to this group on this edition, this special edition of LARRY KING LIVE. The D.L. Hughley show follows this. Don't go away.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROSS: John McCain is so old, Abraham Lincoln's high school was named after him. But look at the bright side. If John McCain ever has sex with an intern, it won't be a scandal. It will be a miracle. It even has a nice ring to it, right? President Barack Obama. It's his middle name that scares the hell out of me. You know what it is? Hussein. He needs to take half a day off, go downtown, and change that (BLEEP). What am I, Jeff Hitler Ross? What the (BLEEP)?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: All right, Mo, does anything go? Is age fair?
ROCCA: Sure. I mean, you know, the whole thing, he doesn't need a food taster, he needs a food chewer. I think that's a little easy. That was hilarious right there about Abraham Lincoln. But I think the funniest thing about John McCain is sort of the trap he is in with Sarah Palin. You know, this cult personality that's swirling around here, it's hysterical. You know, it's going to be particularly funny to see if McCain loses what Sarah Palin does to stay in the spotlight. Either she gets a talk show, or I think they really need to make the Bristol/Levi wedding a "Today Show" wedding. They need to blow this thing out because that's a national obsession.
KING: Aisha, is there a part of you that wants her to succeed as a girl?
TYLER: No. Not one bit of me wants her to succeed. I think she is giving chicks everywhere a very bad name. And it's funny, because when she was nominated, she is smart. I had a little girl crush on her, she is a little hot. I would kiss her. But the thing is, I don't want that chick to run the country, do you know what I mean? The girl that you want to hang out with on Saturday night is not the girl that you want running the joint on Monday morning.
And honestly, it's not cute to have somebody who might be the president dropping the Gs at the end of their words. I don't want Joe Six-Pack in the White House. I want Joe Mensa in the White House.
KING: D.L.?
ROSS: She's a GILF. A governor I'd like to forget.
HUGHLEY: You know, it's so funny, because I watched her and I went to a rally, we did a piece there. But the idea that you could actually say out of your mouth, like from Alaska, I could see Russia. Like from my house, I could see the moon and that don't make me an astronaut. I just don't understand how -- we're obsessed with average in this country. The fight for, I'm like you and you're like me. If you hang out at the same places I do -- if I can beat you in the spelling bee, I'm not voting for you.
TYLER: And that's the thing, I sleep in and I'm kind of lazy and haven't changed the oil in my car in five years. I don't want me in the White House.
KING: Mo Rocca, though if she's fair game, isn't Joe Biden?
ROCCA: They are all fair game and I think well Joe Biden I feel badly for, because of the four he probably has the least interesting personality. But to be fair, there is cults of personality around the other three. The funniest thing about Barack Obama I think are many of the supporters. Today I saw online that there were people offering sex for tickets to the, I guess, the Grant Park Rally. I mean, can you imagine in 1984 Democrats whoring themselves for Walter Mondale tickets? This is pretty out there.
KING: Biden? Jeffrey?
ROSS: He's boring!
KING: He's not boring. He does goofs.
ROSS: He does? I don't know. There is so much more stuff with Palin that I just can't resist.
HUGHLEY: I remember when Obama picked Biden and his whole candidacy was about change. Then he picked Biden because nothing says change like a 55-year-old white dude, you know what I'm saying? And I think all of these people, you know, are to me have aspects about them that I think are caricatures. Like the idea that you can't make jokes about Obama. Like he's from Kenya, Indonesia, Hawaii, Illinois -- what is he, in the witness protection program? Like any time I see a black man from that many places, he is running from the police. So I don't understand.
ROSS: He is from Hawaii.
HUGHLEY: Right. And I think that it's hilarious to me that people just make these icons.
KING: Aren't you excited there could be a black man may be president Tuesday night?
HUGHLEY: Absolutely. And a part of me -- I'm one part nervous and one part excited. Because you don't know what's going to happen. I feel like very personally very nervous for his safety. But I think more than anything else, when the -- if and when this happens, it won't be how white people look at black people. It will be how black people look at black people. I think it's interesting that the first black president in the United States wasn't raised in the mainland of America and wasn't raised by black people. It's interesting. You'll see a lot of -- ROSS: He's from Hawaii. Maybe he's just tan.
HUGHLEY: And it's like you'll see a lot of black women who don't like to see black men with white women, but they love Obama. Who wouldn't be here if a black man wasn't with a white woman.
TYLER: I am married to a white man and so it's very encouraging to me that I'm going to crank out a couple of future presidents. And I've got to get on that right now. Momma got money to make, man! Let's get going!
(CROSSTALK)
ROSS: Jason Kidd and A-Rod, too?
KING: Mo, what?
ROCCA: I wonder if this will result -- if Obama wins, if this will result in an explosion in interracial dating, if you'll have a lot of African-American parents forcing their kid to date white kids and vice versa. That would be kind of interesting.
KING: That's a good point.
TYLER: All of the mothers in the heartland of America will be, like, you go out there and get yourself a nice negro man!
HUGHLEY: Now all of the brothers in the NBA don't have to hide anymore.
ROSS: Larry, change is in the air. D.L., has taken over CNN, Wolf Blitzer is opening for me at Zanies in Chicago. It's all different.
KING: Hey, Mo, thanks. We'll see you soon.
ROCCA: All right, yeah, talk to you later.
KING: Appreciate it. The panel remains. We'll be joined by Frank Caliendo right after this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: Four years ago, Mo Rocca was our roving reporter at the Democratic National Convention. He had this to say about Barack Obama's keynote address then. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
KING: Mo Rocca on the floor somewhere, what did you think of the speech?
ROCCA: O-plus.
KING: O-plus. ROCCA: Obama tastic, that's right, Larry. I'm in Illinois, the land of Lincoln is now the land of Obama. And it's -- resonated with me on a personal level when he talked about being a skinny guy with a funny name.
And it really hit home there. The one thing I think was questionable was when he talked about the Patriot Act and he alluded to the element of library loans being examined by the government. I do think that that's a valid part of the Patriot Act. Some very suspiciously foreign things do go on in public libraries. Have you heard of microfiche? Sounds very foreign to me.
But other than that, an Obama rama has just begun.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
KING: So you technically, Mo, discovered him that night.
ROCCA: Well, first of all let me just say...
KING: You put him on the list.
ROCCA: You look hotter with a little bit of gray, I think now. So I did discover him. And also, I was the first person, and you can Google this, who used the word Obama-rama and then you got all of these snooty people at places like the "New York Times" using that and not crediting me. It really makes me crazy. But yes, Obama-tastic, Obama-tons, Obama-rama. I was really early with that, coining those words.
KING: You were on top of this Mo, and we salute you for that.
ROCCA: Thanks.
KING: Obama-rama, you've got to love it. Mo is still ready to roll for LARRY KING LIVE. We sent him on the streets of New York to poll some voters. Hey Gallup, beware.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
ROCCA: Who looks better on a pumpkin, McCain or Obama? Take politics out of it. We're talking about pumpkins.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Pumpkins? McCain.
ROCCA: Excuse me. Who are you dressed up as? Oh, sorry. He wasn't dressed up.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You look familiar.
ROCCA: We went to high school together.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, we didn't.
ROCCA: Whatever.
McCain or Obama?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What do you think? Obama.
ROCCA: Freddie or Jason?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm not into horror. It depresses me.
ROCCA: Blah, blah, blah blah, blah.
Do you think that America is ready for an orange vice president? Sarah Palin -- no, she is really orange.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, I don't think we're ready for an orange vice president.
ROCCA: Do you prefer to take your media biased or unbiased?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's got to be unbiased to a certain degree.
ROCCA: God, you are undecided about everything.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, what is certain in this universe?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How do you take your...
ROCCA: I just thought of something really obscene just now.
What flavor marmalade is wealth?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Pistachio?
ROCCA: Oh.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's green.
ROCCA: Where does wealth spread more like a nougat?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nougat doesn't spread very well. I'm going marmalade.
ROCCA: OK. Actually yeah, I just betrayed my own ignorance about nougat. Can I ask you a very quick question? Freddie or Jason?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Neither.
ROCCA: Undecided.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: undecided, definitely there. Yep, Palin, if I had to choose between the three.
ROCCA: Ore you an actual princess, or is this a costume?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm an actual princess.
ROCCA: Oh, you're the princess of what?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Of the world.
ROCCA: Oh, OK, that's wonderful. That's a great title to have. Are you licensed to carry that plunger?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.
ROCCA: So you really are Joe the Plumber.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I am.
ROCCA: So you're dressed as a 1960s black man.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's right.
ROCCA: Do you know where I can find Bill Ayers?
Who are you dressed up as?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: As a vampire.
ROCCA: As a whole foods vampire. And does Whole Hoods have a lot for vampires?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not really. Organic blood, I guess.
ROCCA: Well, that's wonderful. It's healthier. Do you think that wealth spreads more like a cream cheese or a peanut butter?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm going to say a peanut butter.
ROCCA: Smooth or crunchy?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Crunchy.
ROCCA: They're nice.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you.
ROCCA: And how does Todd feel about these?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He finds them very attractive. I would say so.
ROCCA: They tickle.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, definitely.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Should I get off the phone with my mom?
ROCCA: No, no, that's great.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mom, we're on TV with Mo Rocca. Sorry, I'm from Maine, I pronounce things differently.
ROCCA: Is that how they pronounce my name there?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Probably.
ROCCA: Well, Larry, I've have learned a lot out here today. This thing is coming down to the wire. My hunch is that the undecideds are going to break for Freddie. But only one thing is certain. Joe the Plumber is never going to go away.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
KING: Hey, thanks, Mo, that was some funny stuff. We'll have more funny stuff in 60 seconds.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: How funny is politics to you? Our own David Theall has been combing through your comments on our blogs. And here he is with some of them. David?
DAVID THEALL, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Larry, as you talk to your panel, we are of course taking these comments on the blog, it is at CNN.com/LarryKing. Some of the comments that we're getting so far from Marielle. She says she's a college student and she's tired of seeing late-night talk shows take pot-shots at politicians. She thinks there should be a line between political satire and poking fun at a politician.
Kay says she finds no humor in humiliating people and it's for that reason that she no longer watches "Saturday Night Live." Frederick, who made a point of telling us he's 24 this weekend, says that he believes that political situations should be lightened up by humor especially during an election season. Kevin says that he thinks political humor is absolutely fair game. Says Kevin, interesting point, he believes it's the one thing that separates us from our enemies, being able to make fun of politicians.
Nellie says, let's face it, Larry, if we couldn't laugh right now, we'd all be crying. On Governor Palin, that your panel has been talking about, just the mere mention of her name draws in so many responses on the blog, both for and against.
Sandi says she is disgusted by the media's treatment of Governor Palin. She finds it appalling and not funny. A.T. chimed in and said simply this, Larry. "I know nothing of her policies, opinions, general personality," but in his opinion, "Governor Palin is hot."
The conversation is happening at CNN.com/LarryKing. CNN.com/LarryKing, come on in. Join the conversation.
KING: Thank you, David. David Theall, right on top of things. Tell us what you think about this show or any other, CNN.com/LarryKing and click on blog and we'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
FRANK CALIENDO, COMEDIAN: Please don't tell Tipper. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The scandal you only thought you knew.
CALIENDO: Al, the work you do for the environment is too important. I've got to protect you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bill. I can't control myself. What, with all these big-boned Betties walking around here!
We took an oath, Al, to our wives and to our country.
But not everyone has what you and Hillary have.
So true, my one and only.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: He's in Phoenix, he is Frank Caliendo, the comic and master impressionist, he's the star of "Frank TV" on TBS. Welcome aboard with our panel here, Frank. What do you make of all this? Are we ready for the end of this?
CALIENDO: Yeah, I definitely think so. It seems like it's been years, not just, you know, months that it's been going on. And I just -- I want to start working on one impression or the other. I haven't worked on one that much in my -- and my reasoning comes down to one word, Dukakis. Nobody cares who loses. Even Jon Lovitz is sitting at home saying going, that was a waste of time. So I started working on the Barack a lot more lately. But just would like to see this definitively get over with.
KING: Is Barack difficult?
CALIENDO: Yeah, I think it is. McCain was very easy for me, because it's all about his friends, you know? "Friends, we must do this together, my friends." And you know he has never seen the show "Friends." But he would make it sound like he is. But he would want to make it seem like he has. "Friend is my favorite show. Fulby is my favorite character. I love that Chandler Bong fella."
But Barack, his voice, everything is about change with these guys. It's change, we need change, change, we need change. Isn't that the same thing a homeless person says? We need change? Come on. Get something new to say. Do something better. You're going to be president, you know? Maybe we should put that change in a cup and bail out the financial system. That's where we're going with that, my friend.
KING: Aisha, wouldn't you get that for an impressionist as talented as Frank, Barack is a problem?
TYLER: Well, I think we all know what the 6'2" tall 82-pound black elephant is in the room. It's going to be hard for Frank to do Obama. But I think you're very talented, obviously Frank, you can master it. I think he has got a body like a caved-in javelin thrower. It's gotta to be hard to kind of do the sunken in chest look. CALIENDO: For the impression itself on, you know, like in a situation like sketch comedy. But I think it's fair game for stand-up comedy. I found that his voice is somewhere between -- and people at my show said, can you do Chris Rock? And I'm like, I can do the voice, but I'm not going to do it in character. It's not going to happen. There's no way to do that. I've done Charles Barkley, I've made it look OK. I'll tell you what, but it would be a knuckle-headed move to try to make me look like Barack Obama. That would be knucklehead and terrible.
KING: Hey guys? Let me -- panel, watch. Whatever else people remember about this campaign, one name probably will be branded into their brains. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PALIN: Straight talking Joe the Plumber.
MCCAIN: Joe the Plumber.
OBAMA: You're not fighting for Joe the Plumber.
MCCAIN: Our guy Joe.
OBAMA: He's not fighting for Joe the hedge fund manager.
MCCAIN: As he told Joe the plumber. As he told Joe the plumber. He wants to, quote, "spread the wealth around."
OBAMA: This notion that I have been attacking Joe the Plumber.
MCCAIN: Joe the plumber. Joe, where are you? Where is Joe?
OBAMA: I have got nothing but love for Joe the Plumber.
MCCAIN: You're all Joe the Plumbers, so all of you stand up. Joe the plumber, Joe.
CROWD: Joe, Joe, Joe!
(END VDIDEO CLIP)
KING: D.L. Hughley's "D.L. HUGHLEY BREAKS THE NEWS" will follow this program at the top of the hour. What do you make of Joe?
HUGHLEY: I think he looks like a body guard from the Jerry Springer show.
KING: Funny.
HUGHLEY: In America, he's famous for saying nothing. He is going to run for president. You know he is, one day. He is going to run for some kind of office. I think it's like "American Idol" to me. I saw Palin on stage with a plumber and an Indian, and it looked like the Village People. It's like, what are you doing? TYLER: What I love about Joe the Plumber is he is supposed to be this icon of middle America, like a regular guy. It took the dude a week, he has got a publicist. He didn't show up the other day. He was a no-show at McCain's rally because he was kicking it with Jessica Simpson on a beach in Mexico. You know what I mean? The guy has completely flipped.
KING: He ain't a plumber anymore.
ROSS: Obama is spending millions for prime-time television and McCain hired this guy for $40 an hour. You know what, all kidding aside, you can't keep telling kids in this country that no matter what they look like, no matter what they believe in, they can grow up and become presidents. Then we open our history books as kids and it's 43 white guys in a row. It's kind of ridiculous. I love John McCain as a human being, as an American. He's a hero to many people, including me, for his service. But he's not the right president for right now.
HUGHLEY: You know what's very sad to me about John McCain? You don't want to be the first white dude that loses to a black guy for the presidency. That's got to be hard.
KING: Frank, are you working on Joe the Plumber?
CALIENDO: You know, I think he's going to be gone pretty quickly, but no.
(CROSSTALK)
CALIENDO: There you go. You talk about America, that is the American dream, just 15 minutes of fame and milk it for everything you can.
KING: Yeah. And you could be a Joe the Plumber, though.
ROSS: There it is.
KING: Take a tour as Joe the Plumber.
CALIENDO: Get me a plunger, I'm going.
KING: Get your last laughs when LARRY KING LIVE comes back. Don't go away.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAY LENO, TALK SHOW HOST: McCain says he is ready for Halloween. McCain says he's going to wear a Barack Obama mask and go as a socialist. So that could be good. Well this week on the campaign trail John McCain called Barack Obama a socialist and President Bush defended Barack Obama. But, see, again, I don't think President Bush really understands. Like he told McCain, he said when you're president, you get a lot of visitors to the White House. You have to be a socialist. It's good manners. See I don't think he understands. (END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: By the way, two of our guests have excellent DVDs out. Frank Caliendo "All Over the Place" and Jeffrey Ross, "No Offense" and don't forget D.L. Hughley's show, "D.L. HUGHLEY BREAKS THE NEWS." It will be seen immediately following this program as it is every weekend. And Aisha Tyler will be seen soon on a big special on "Comedy Central."
We have heard one four-letter word over and over in this campaign, Bush. Let's take a look at some of the highlights of W.'s time in the White House. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GEORGE W. BUSH, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: I have filters on Internets. I hear there's rumors on the Internets. Fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: All right, and as we're closing out on one chapter of a presidency, we have another one coming. Frank, who's going to win?
CALIENDO: I think Barack Obama is going to win. I think that it just seems like everywhere I go that he seems to be the guy that -- people say -- it's odd, because I hear people saying, you know, I think John McCain has a chance, but I just think Barack Obama is going to win. I've been all over the country, and I really get that feeling.
KING: Aisha, what do you hear?
TYLER: Well, as I said before, my husband is white and he comes from a Catholic family in Pennsylvania, and I took his 67-year-old mom to vote the other day, and she voted for Obama. She's always been a Republican.
So, you know, I paid her a lot of money to do that. And she was confused when she voted for him. But the point is that she did. No, I think Obama is going to win. I think he is the best candidate. I want to say, I'm not voting for him because he is black and I'm not voting for him because I'm a democrat. I'm voting for him because I would like a president in the white house who can read. That's just a little, it's a minor qualification for me. I'd like a guy who has mastered the English language running the country.
ROSS: We'll never truly progress as a country until a 7-year-old Mexican girl is president.
TYLER: That would be awesome.
KING: Latino is next.
ROSS: Larry, I just want to say, I know you can take a joke. I want to say it's been an honor to share Halloween with the crypt keeper.
KING: Interesting, Jeffrey. Mark the date down.
ROSS: Come on!
KING: It's only a joke. We love you, Jeffrey.
ROSS: Thank you, honey.
KING: Who's going to win?
ROSS: I think that Barack Hussein Obama will be our next president.
KING: Barack Hussein Obama, you just cost him votes. But, what the heck? D.L.?
HUGHLEY: I think it's Barack Obama and I think it's so funny because I think when we wins, I think we have to get everything -- black people better get everything we get right now because when he wins a bunch of white people are going, oh, we're even, I voted for the black guy.
KING: So it's going to cost you.
HUGHLEY: I think they're going to start throwing around racist words like accountability and responsibility and education. I do. I think -- this is so irresistible. I promise you I think Clarence Thomas will vote for him, I think Condoleezza Rice will vote for him. I'm a grown man and I've never in my life had an opportunity to vote for a black candidate for anything.
KING: Don't forget, Monday night, Cindy McCain is our guest. She can make that last-minute pitch that might help her husband win the White House. We'll find out. LARRY KING LIVE is on twice Election eve, 9 and midnight Eastern Time. We'll have the latest on the push for votes as we head into a historic Election Day. "D.L. HUGHLEY BREAKS THE NEWS" is next.
