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CNN Larry King Live
LARRY KING SPECIAL: Dinner with the Kings
Aired December 04, 2011 - 20:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LARRY KING, CNN HOST: Tonight --
SHAWN SOUTHWICK, LARRY KING'S WIFE: We're having a party, and you're invited.
KING: Come on in. My wife Shawn and I are hosting a dinner party.
CONAN O'BRIEN, COMEDIAN, HOST, "CONAN": Nice to see you.
KING: And invited some of the biggest names in Hollywood.
SOUTHWICK: Hi.
KING: And we're saving a seat at the table just for you.
O'BRIEN: I'm just wondering why we're being served by the CIA.
KING: Conan O'Brien. Russell Brand. Tyra Banks. Seth MacFarlane. Shaquille O'Neal. Quincy Jones and Twitter inventor Jack Dorsey. All opening up about life, love, success and failure.
O'BRIEN: The most shocking thing that anyone would hear from a table like this is there's a tendency for people to look and say they've made it. What they don't understand is the amount of insecurity that drives you when you're 15, but it's still there when you're 48.
KING: Nothing's off limits.
SETH MCFARLANE, "FAMILY GUY" CREATOR: Any discussion of this type always makes me kind of secretly kind of squirm a little.
O'BRIEN: This is big news. I just want to make sure that we stick with the headline here which is that you wish to be frozen. Your head.
(LAUGHTER)
MACFARLANE: Would you want to live forever?
KING: Yes.
MACFARLANE: You would?
KING: You bet your ass.
You have never seen a dinner party quite like this. RUSSELL BRAND, COMEDIAN: I'm looking through Larry's drawers.
KING: Russell, does anything embarrass you?
All coming up next.
O'BRIEN: You know what? None of this is airing. This is clearly not airing. And if it's not airing, we all have to chip in for the meal.
KING: I think -- I think this goes on HBO.
O'BRIEN: No. HBO would not air this.
KING: On this LARRY KING SPECIAL, "Dinner with the Kings."
Sean and I decided to bring together a group of diverse and successful people to share some food, great conversation and a few laughs. Of course, it helps to have friends like Wolfgang Puck, celebrity chef of Spago fame, and his fabulous team of cooks who spent the whole day preparing an amazing meal for us to enjoy.
WOLFGANG PUCK, CELEBRITY CHEF: For the first course we have a fantastic tomato salad, with virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, a little basil and the two little greens. So our next course is going to be a wonderful salmon. We just got it two days after the (INAUDIBLE) in Oregon.
KING: And in between courses we all have a chance to learn about ourselves and each other.
How about success? Everyone here is successful.
TYRA BANKS, SUPERMODEL, HOST: Conan?
O'BRIEN: I'm still trying. I'm happy to be here and get a free meal. What is success? What is successful? These are interesting questions.
QUINCY JONES, RECORD PRODUCER, MUSICIAN: The first years were the hardest.
KING: You find it difficult to deal with? Some people do.
O'BRIEN: What's that?
KING: Success.
O'BRIEN: Oh, no. I would love to have a lot of success. I would have no problem dealing with that.
KING: How do you deal with it, Russell?
BRAND: Well, I suppose, Larry, one has to look at those definitions. If you want material success and artistic success, there are a good many people at the table that could make that claim. But perhaps the pursuit of individual success is one of the problems that's causing our planet to ecologically implode currently and perhaps this imbalance, this constant service of the top 1 percent is causing all this configuration.
SO it's difficult. How I deal with my personal material success is guiltily.
MACFARLANE: I feel like the second you feel like I'm doing great work and I feel terrific about it, then whatever you're doing has to be terrible. I hate everything I do.
O'BRIEN: That makes two of us. I met with --
(LAUGHTER)
MACFARLANE: You hate everything I do, too.
O'BRIEN: Yes, I do.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: I mean on -- Seth, his work is reprehensible. But we'll get to that. Enjoy your meal. I met with -- we had a group come visit the show recently of inner city kids. And they were gifted, you know, all in different ways. And they were talking about they wanted to speak with me for a little bit. And so I spoke with them at the show, and one of the girls who must have been 16, 17 years old, said to me, "How do you get over your insecurity? When does that go away?"
And I said, you never get over it. And she was shocked. And I said -- and she's looking at me. And I've been doing this for a long time. And to her I might as well be 1,000 years old even though I'm only in my early 30s. And -- but she said, how do you get over your insecurity. And I said, it's never going to go away.
If you're any good at what you do you'll always be afraid. You'll always --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's right.
O'BRIEN: Yes, you always think you're fooling everyone. You always think you're the one at the table --
MACFARLANE: Not for a second do I think that ever.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right.
MACFARLANE: I'm still working on hiding my insecurity 100 percent.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right.
KING: Athletically, though, it's hard to be insecure when you're --
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, NBA LEGEND: Not really.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That question (INAUDIBLE), give me a break. O'NEAL: Not really. I mean I was always just taught to -- excuse me -- stay humble. You know, I always -- my mother and father always told me that pressure, the real definition of pressure is when you don't know where your next meal is coming from. So, you know, we're all blessed here at the table.
And you know, I've always had the attitude that I'm a lucky kid. I won the lotto a couple of times. You know, don't turn my luck into bad luck and just stay humble and I've been blessed.
BANKS: Were you ever insecure?
O'NEAL: Always, always. But to be here next to Conan, I'm so blessed.
O'BRIEN: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Shaq. Your hand weighs 60 pounds.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: You just crushed my vertebrae. But the kiss was amazing, by the way. And --
KING: You can't be insecure, though, if you're scoring 30 points for LSU and you're number one pick. You can't be insecure.
O'NEAL: I mean, you know, I felt that, you know, that was my job. You know, when it comes to being insecure, I'm sort of like Seth. You know, I'm not really ever happy with what I do. Especially being at the free throw line, missing, you know, four or five free throws in a row and, you know, we lose the game. So, you know, there are times that would go on that I would just have a fit.
O'BRIEN: I think -- I think that would be the common -- the most shocking thing that anyone would hear from a table like this is there's a tendency for people to look at a table like some of the people that are here and say they are -- they've made it. They have it.
KING: I want to be there.
O'BRIEN: And I want to be there because their lives are great and what they don't understand is the amount of insecurity that drives you when you're 15, but it's still there when you're 48.
KING: Quincy, you ever feel insecure?
JONES: Not a drop. No. Let me just say something. I learned from a very early age, I started at 13. Ray Charles and I started from 14, 16, all the way. The prime rule back in the '40s was you have to be humble with your creativity and gracious with your success. We didn't think about money or fame ever.
KING: You never were insecure about your talent?
JONES: Oh, sure I was. But, I mean, I mean, I tried to support my insecurity with learning my craft, you know.
KING: When you're this pretty -- and you're pretty, Tyra. Do you ever feel insecure? You look in the mirror, feel insecure?
SOUTHWICK: Sure. I see -- I see the things that I want to change when I look in the mirror. I'll see -- I'm fine. I'm good. I'm not complaining. But, no, when I look in the mirror as I'm getting older especially I look at my skin. And that -- whose body is this? You know? What is happening to me?
(LAUGHTER)
KING: Tyra, you ever feel -- you ever look at yourself, you ever feel insecure?
BANKS: Do I feel insecure physically? Probably every day. I had this --
KING: We're all (EXPLETIVE DELETED) then.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: This is the most depressing dinner I've ever been to. Tyra Banks is physically insecure. It's time to push this into my sternum.
MACFARLANE: You're not the one who has to sit across from you.
(LAUGHTER)
BANKS: No. Every day. I have this new apartment I built in New York. And in the bathroom I put all these, like, mirrors everywhere, you know. Just, oh, put one over there. Put one over there. Make it look bigger. But I see my ass and the dimples in my ass every time I'm brushing my teeth. It's -- there's a mirror there reflecting there. And I'm looking at my ass with the dimples in my ass. So yes, of course I feel it.
KING: Russell, you know you're funny, right? You know you're funny?
BRAND: Yes, yes. Under the right circumstances when the pressure is on, perhaps a fabricated dinner with a variety of celebrities.
(LAUGHTER)
BRAND: Good times for (INAUDIBLE).
KING: Coming up next, dinner heats up as my guests reveal what makes their blood boil.
O'BRIEN: I can't stand it when people think they're entitled to something. I think our culture is very entitled.
KING: Plus --
MACFARLANE: Any discussion of this type always makes me kind of secretly kind of squirm a little bit. KING: Find out what is making Seth and Conan so uncomfortable.
O'BRIEN: Thank you. You've destroyed all of our careers.
KING: When this LARRY KING SPECIAL "Dinner with the Kings" continues.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PUCK: The next course is going to be a Sweet Corn Agnolotti. One of our famous dishes from Spago so this is really, really very special. It's a small pasta like a small ravioli with filled with a puree of corn, a little ricotta cheese. It's really delicious. And we're going to finish it with some summer truffles. Enjoy.
KING: What gets you angry, Jack?
JACK DORSEY, TWITTER INVENTOR: Facebook.
(LAUGHTER)
DORSEY: Not at all. I think -- I think it's mainly around inaction. You know, people seeing something just inhumane going wrong and just not doing anything about it. Not speaking out. Being silent. We have such amazing tools to share. And we -- we've just been given so much opportunity to help. And we don't take it. We do think it's going to be given to us. We think we're entitled to not do anything.
KING: I hate hypocrisy. I hate the politician that preaches anti-gay and is gay. That drives me up a wall.
O'BRIEN: I think entitlement is my least favorite. I can't stand it when people think they're entitled to something. I think our culture is very entitled. And I honestly don't think I'm entitled to anything. I think, you know, I come from a culture where you get what you can and you're grateful for it. But I don't think I'm -- I don't think I deserve anything.
I grew up not really knowing what class my parents were. My father is in academic medicine, and my mom didn't work when we were kids. And then she went back to law school much -- went back to being a lawyer much later on. So we were comfortable but we were driving crappy station wagons and class was never an issue. And my father always said it's good that you grew up -- he was very proud of the fact that we grew up not knowing where we were.
We didn't feel any entitlement. And I've never felt that. I'm happy to be here. If I get kicked out in 20 minutes, I'll be upset and you'll hear from my publicist but I will accept it and then move on. And I think there is a lot of entitlement in our -- in our culture specifically. I don't know about globally. But I think in America, there's a lot of I am owed this and this and this and this.
KING: Yes. Where does that come from?
O'BRIEN: And I don't know where it comes from. BRAND: It comes from consumer culture. Because you're told that you're nothing unless you can consume, unless you can purchase. And now people are (INAUDIBLE) and they want it. People are being accidentally marketed that can't afford the products that they're being sold and they're being told they should have that they deserve because you're worth it, just do it. These constant, endless, jinglistic slogans filling people's head. And there's been a void created, spiritual void because there is no religious or spiritual culture promoted.
MACFARLANE: And you also have every politician on the planet saying you know what, you're getting screwed. You deserve more. How are you -- why are you tolerating this? And it's almost akin --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: For your own benefit.
MACFARLANE: It's almost akin to the way in Hollywood if your agent tells you, you don't have to take that, you know? You're worth 100 times more than that. You know? You hold your ground and oftentimes they're wrong. And -- but you start to believe it unless you're -- unless you're -- you know you have a strong psychological constitution.
KING: What makes you laugh?
BRAND: I think misunderstandings are funny, Larry. People's misapprehensions. Watching a misunderstanding unfold and seeing it from someone else's perspective.
KING: It's all a surprise, right? There has to be surprise.
BRAND: Sudden revelation.
(CROSSTALK)
MACFARLANE: The "Dick Fran Dyke" show that was -- that was -- it features -- he'd spent an afternoon talking to a class of grade schoolers telling them this -- to somebody, what is -- what is funny? And they summed it all up into that one little nugget. It's what's unexpected.
BANKS: When I was a kid I loved that show "Three's Company." And every episode was a misunderstanding. Jack thought Chrissy was doing this and Chrissy thought Jack was doing this. Every episode was a misunderstanding.
BRAND: Right. So -- yes, it can slightly (INAUDIBLE) to the characters or that we can be surprised by it. What about -- what do you think, Conan?
KING: Or jokes, right, Conan? Every show.
O'BRIEN: You know, I don't love jokes. I never liked jokes. People on the street are always saying, hey, Conan, how about a joke? I hate jokes. I don't --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They come from prison.
O'BRIEN: Well, I don't --
KING: Stars supposedly --
O'BRIEN: I don't like anything that you can memorize that's supposed to be funny. I like -- and I agree with Russell that I like to be funny with people in the moment. You find it. It's -- you know, it's a little like music. I'm a horrible musician but I love it. And I think there is something akin to music where --
JONES: Absolutely.
O'BRIEN: -- you're just trying to find a little moment and play it out.
JONES: Improvisation.
O'BRIEN: Yes.
KING: I want to hear what Sean -- makes Sean laugh other than me.
SOUTHWICK: Hearing old stories. Hearing old stories over and over and over again.
KING: Old stories they still make you laugh.
SOUTHWICK: And I don't know why they still make me laugh, but they do.
DORSEY: We do such stressful things every single day. And it's the greatest stress reliever. It's also the greatest team builder.
JONES: And health is, too.
DORSEY: Yes. And --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The health is now.
DORSEY: I mean nothing is more bonding than having a laugh together and making a fool of yourself to do it. It's all situational.
JONES: Leaving yourself.
DORSEY: Yes. Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
MACFARLANE: It always makes me squirm about analyzing it, though. About -- any discussion of this type always makes me kind of secretly kind of squirm a little bit.
O'BRIEN: Well, it should. Because I always think it's grabbing it missed.
MACFARLANE: Yes, exactly. O'BRIEN: Whenever you -- whenever you hear people start to, you know, my standard line with journalists is if you like it, great. If you don't, I can't help you. This is what I do. But it's grabbing at fog. You grab it --
(CROSSTALK)
MACFARLANE: Almost in a weird way -- in a weird way in its attempt to elevate it almost diminishes it.
KING: All right. This is -- I'll close it out.
O'BRIEN: So you've ruined comedy, Larry. Thank you. You've destroyed all of our careers.
KING: Coming up, we talk about friends.
I have an unusual situation because I have three people I grew up with that I knew them since 10 years old.
O'BRIEN: Well, these are people you fought in the Civil War with.
KING: Right.
And family --
O'NEAL: My mother has always been there for me. She's my best friend.
MACFARLANE: My parents were unbelievably supportive. They were ex- hippies. And so, thank god, never wanted me to become a lawyer or anything like that.
KING: Plus, later.
BRAND: I'm ruffling through Larry's drawers.
KING: Russell Brand's on the loose in my house.
BRAND: If I can discover anything more, we'll just (INAUDIBLE).
KING: Find out what he uncovered.
Russell, does anything embarrass you?
When this Larry King Special "Dinner with the Kings" continues.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: We had dinner recently that went very well. And we talked about friends and what friends mean in your life and friendships because I have an unusual situation because I have three people I grew up with that I knew them since 10 years old. And, you know, I was defining what friendship is, and I've made some new friends since. Great friends. But there's nothing like a friend. Do you have any friends -- O'BRIEN: Well, these are people you fought in the Civil War with, Larry.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: See, now, normally I would be hurt by that.
O'BRIEN: That's a bond. When you're fighting the Confederacy, that's an incredible bond, Larry, that you're not --
KING: You can make a joke about ages. You can make --
O'BRIEN: No, please. Please, I make my -- please, I'm in my late -- early 30s, late 20s myself. And I know better than anyone at this table what it's like to lose your incredible physical prowess that you had just years ago. Two years ago.
KING: True.
O'BRIEN: Although --
KING: Do you have -- do any of you have close friends like that?
O'BRIEN: Oh, yes.
BANKS: I have -- my close, close friends are from, like, elementary school, junior high and high school.
KING: Jack?
DORSEY: I don't have -- I don't have close friends that I've been friends with for years and years and years. But recently just going deeper and deeper with. But, you know, they're grounding. They have perspective. They're inspiring.
KING: And they like you for you, not for Twitter.
DORSEY: Absolutely. They knew me before Twitter. Yes.
KING: Russell?
BRAND: Yes. I think it's really important because otherwise you lose yourself in this mad context. Although now I can't remember my life before I came into this room. This is completely how I define myself now.
KING: A friend is someone I think that if you call at 3:00 in the morning and say, I got a problem. They don't say what it is. They come over.
O'BRIEN: That's my agent.
KING: And you don't --
(LAUGHTER) JONES: You don't make friends, you discover them. They'd say, forget about the people in your past until they make it to your future. It's true. You know the ones who don't know how to stick with you. Because a real friend knows who you are and accepts you for your badyou're your good sides.
KING: Shaq?
O'NEAL: Believe it or not, my best friend is my mother. You know we struggled together in New Jersey. Throughout all the tough times, she was there. You know she was really my real role model. You know that -- you know people always talk about role models. But my mother has always been there for me. She's my best friend. You know before I do something or say something crazy, I always think about how it could affect her.
KING: Do you have great friends?
O'BRIEN: I would like to be friends with Shaq's mom. She sounds --
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: She could straighten me out, probably. I'm -- I come from a big Irish Catholic family. And I'm one of six kids. And we're all very close so --
KING: The family.
O'BRIEN: The family is very close. And I've just been lucky and my good friends have been friends of mine for 20, 30 years. And it's -- they're great. They don't -- you know, they don't see me as any different.
KING: Do you have any individual impact on your life?
O'BRIEN: My parents were the formative people in my life who, you know, taught me to work hard and be nice to people which is, you know. And then there's a million comedy influences and people that I look up to. And so it's hard to boil it all down to just one person.
KING: Do you have an impacting person?
SOUTHWICK: My dad. Because he -- he's my best friend.
KING: Your mother is the answer to that question, right, Shaq?
O'NEAL: Yes.
KING: Your mother is your impact. Do you have an impact person?
BANKS: It's actually my momma as well.
KING: Seth, do you have anybody?
MACFARLANE: You know, as long as we're all on the -- on the mother train. (LAUGHTER)
KING: Confessional. Your mother, too?
MACFARLANE: Yes. And actually, it's worth noting when my mother passed away last year, you did a very, very heartfelt --
KING: I called you.
MACFARLANE: Very much appreciated tribute to her on air which is -- which remains a very precious thing. But yes. You know, my -- I mean, both my parents were unbelievably supportive. They were ex- hippies. And so thank God never wanted me to become a lawyer or anything like that.
And, you know, my mom used to call every Monday morning after the show would air, after "Family Guy" would air, and would, you know, either rave about the show or say, I didn't think this was as funny as some of the other ones. And I would always look forward to that call. I would always -- I would always -- you know you do a show for millions of viewers. And yet I would still always look forward to that call. Mainly because she'd always genuinely got it. This wasn't just somebody from an older generation saying, "I love it because you did it."
No. She got the jokes. She was just a wickedly dark person. Got all the -- the jokes. It was impossible to offend her. And in a way it was like weirdly, you're kind of like putting that really, really expensive macaroni drawing on the -- on the refrigerator, you know, every week. So that was -- that was -- I miss that very much.
KING: Jack, do you have an impact person?
DORSEY: Yes. My -- it was definitely my parents as well.
KING: Really.
DORSEY: My -- they were both -- they were both entrepreneurs. My dad started a pizza restaurant when he was 19 with his best friend. And it was called Two Nice Guys. And it --
KING: Where?
DORSEY: In St. Louis, Missouri, where I'm from, and started doing really well. And they started to need to hire some help. And they made one rule which was they would not date the wait staff. They hired my mom a month later. And my dad fell in love with her, said, you know, I broke the rule. I have to give up the business. It's all yours. And I was born nine months after that.
BANKS: Wow.
DORSEY: But they've been entrepreneurs ever since. My mom started a coffee store and my dad has his own business. Both my brothers work there. It's -- they've been a constant inspiration. KING: Coming up, what keeps these people laying awake at night.
O'BRIEN: I just watch episodes of my own show over and over again. And I just -- god, that guy's good.
BANKS: I feel like my problems are ridiculous and dumb and what the hell, why did I not sleep? It happens all the time.
MACFARLANE: Are you maybe a little obsessed with your own mortality like I am?
KING: Plus, a personal revelation that had my guests doing a double take.
O'BRIEN: This is big news. I just want to make sure that we stick with the headline here which is that you wish to be frozen. Your head --
(LAUGHTER)
MACFARLANE: Would you want to live forever?
KING: Yes.
MACFARLANE: You would?
KING: You bet your ass.
When this LARRY KING SPECIAL "Dinner with the Kings" continues.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: Hello, everyone. I'm Don Lemon live at the CNN world headquarters in Atlanta.
I want to give you some headlines now.
"Occupy" protesters have gone to new heights to make their point about widening wealth. The widening wealth gap in America. We mean to heights literally. Look at these live pictures now. Because in Washington, demonstrators erected a wood structure to protect them from the cold overnight. But police have been using cherry pickers to arrest people who have refused to take down the structure and leave the park.
This is the last person up there. They're getting him down now. As many as 200 people gathered to watch the standoff. We'll follow.
Iran claims it shot down a U.S. spy drone over its airspace. State TV quotes an Iranian military official calling it a clear example of aggression. NATO says it may have been an unmanned plane that was flying over western Afghanistan when operators lost control last week.
For years the American government has maintained that it does not fly drones over Iran. Activists say 22 people were killed today in Syria's brutal crackdown on pro-democracy activists. The Arab League had given Syria until today to end the violence plaguing the country. If Syria's government refuses to sign on to a peace deal, it could face new sanctions. The opposition says sanctions will weaken the ruling regime, but are unlikely to topple it.
Forty-five thousand Germans returned to their homes today after two World War II bombs and a third device were successfully dismantled. One was a 4,000 pound air mine likely dropped by the British Air Force. A second bomb was diffused while a fog producing-device was destroyed.
For 65 years the bombs were hidden in the Reine River until dropping water levels exposed them. The evacuation was the largest in Germany since the end of the war.
Those are your headlines this hour. I'm Don Lemon. Now back to the CNN special, "Dinner with Kings."
KING: At one point during our dinner party, Russell excused himself and left the table. And decided to go explore our house. In just a few minutes, you'll find out exactly what he was up to.
PUCK: We're going to have a wonderful filet mignon (INAUDIBLE) which is like a crust. It's a beef filet. A cross between Japanese beef and American beef. So it's very tender and great, so it's really delicious with some mushrooms and a few potatoes and a light sauce with it. So it's really simple. And for you, we have something special.
BRAND: Thank you.
PUCK: OK. All right. And we'll continue for the next one.
KING: What keeps you up at night? You, I know.
SOUTHWICK: What you think keeps me up at night is not what keeps me up at night.
JONES: You keep her up at night.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: No, no. She's up all night with the -- with the iPad, with the Twitter, with the ---
SOUTHWICK: No. I'm thinking. I'm thinking and I'm worrying. And I'm thinking about the kids.
O'BRIEN: What are you worried about?
SOUTHWICK: You know what? I'm worried about what's happening with -- with our kids and who their friends are and what's going on with -- how the world is changing so quickly and trying to contain it and make sure they get on the right path. There's so many things available to everybody through the Internet, through television, through friends. That I wouldn't normally maybe introduce to them. But how do you -- how do you fix it? How do you guide them without being overbearing?
O'NEAL: Believe it or not, every night before I go to sleep I like to go through a checklist. Was I a good father today? Did I make people laugh today? Did I help someone in need today? Did I laugh a lot today? You know, I just say, OK, I lived today like it was my last day. Now I lay me down to sleep. You know I say the prayer. And hopefully I wake up the next day and every day when I wake up, thank God. Thank my parents. You know, just -- you know go through the next day and just try to do the same thing. Try to do the same thing.
KING: Conan, what keeps you up?
O'BRIEN: I just watch episodes of my own show over and over again.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: And I just -- god, that guy's good. I laugh and laugh. You know, I don't think anything -- I'm a reader. I like to read. I like to read history. So -- and I'll get these ridiculously -- I just finished a book on Chairman Mao. I don't even know where I find these things. And I like to -- I like anything that's exact -- I don't know if you're the same way, Seth, but I like anything that's the exact opposite of what I do for a living.
So I don't like to read comedy at night. I don't like to watch comedy at night. My wife always says let's watch the funny sitcom, let's go and see the funny movie. And I always want to go and see the documentary where they invade Poland again. You know that --
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: So I always like to go to a different place. That's what puts my mind at rest at night.
BANKS: My work keeps me up at night. I think about my business. Like, you know, I tend to have insomnia sometimes. Actually, I didn't sleep much last night. But, like, work. Business. Or minor things like HR. Like, you know, maybe a staffer is -- you know, just -- and it's just dumb. And then I wake up in the morning and I'm like, wait, I lost sleep over that?
When the sun comes and the world is awake, I don't feel alone and I feel like my problems are ridiculous and dumb and what the hell, why did I not sleep? It happens often.
O'BRIEN: Can we just, so we have it for editing, could you say you think about me at night?
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: Just for editing. We don't -- we're not going to use this.
BANKS: OK. We'll do it for editing.
O'BRIEN: Just for editing in case.
BANKS: Yes.
MACFARLANE: What keeps you up at night?
KING: I read a lot at night. I generally --
MACFARLANE: Are you -- are you maybe a little obsessed with your own mortality like I am?
KING: Oh, I fear that.
MACFARLANE: Yes.
KING: My biggest fear is death.
MACFARLANE: Yes.
KING: Because I don't think I'm going anywhere. And --
MACFARLANE: No. I --
KING: Since I don't think that and I don't have a belief, I don't share a belief -- I'm married to someone who has the belief. So she knows she's going somewhere. And I want to be frozen. On the hope that they'll find whatever I died of and bring me back. And if she said to me, if you come back in 200 years, you won't know anybody. OK. I'll meet new people.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: This is big news.
KING: I like to believe --
O'BRIEN: Let's make sure we're --
(CROSSTALK)
KING: Cryonic.
O'BRIEN: Russell is chewing loudly. Please, Russell.
KING: Cryonic.
O'BRIEN: You would like to be frozen. This is -- this is news to me.
KING: The only hedging of a bet.
MACFARLANE: There's a great quote from Mark Twain that I use to comfort myself whenever I have the same thoughts because I have many of the same thoughts. He said there were -- there were billions upon billions upon billions of years before I was born in which I did not exist. And during that time I was not in the least inconvenienced by that fact.
KING: That wouldn't help me.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: I just want to make sure that we stick with the headline here which is that you wish to be frozen. Your head --
(LAUGHTER)
MACFARLANE: Would you want to live forever?
KING: Yes.
MACFARLANE: You would?
KING: You bet your ass.
SOUTHWICK: Larry is narcissistic during dinner table.
KING: No, I'm curious. Who's going to win the World Series? Who's going to win the next election? What's going to happen after that?
BRAND: Won't really matter when you're dead, mate.
KING: What happens to the world? Where does Twitter go?
(CROSSTALK)
O'BRIEN: I'm with Russell on this. I want out. I want out. The sooner, the better. That was crazy.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: Give me six more years. But you know, what's this obsession with sticking around forever? I don't want to stick around forever.
MACFARLANE: But do you believe in an afterlife? Do you have -- I mean how deep is the Catholicism --
O'BRIEN: If my mother is watching, yes. If she's not watching, I think, you know, as Theodore Roosevelt said, we just go down in the darkness. So I'm not sure. And who knows.
JONES: That's right. Who knows.
O'BRIEN: But I find -- I find my voice annoying. And I think it's reedy and it's high pitched. And I think it should just go away at some point. And my own self-loathing, I'm rooting for my death.
KING: That's Catholic.
O'BRIEN: Yes.
KING: And what do you think about at night?
BRAND: Well, what keeps me up mostly at night, Larry, is your wife's underwear. (LAUGHTER)
BRAND: Most nights I lie awake thinking about, what does Shawn King wear? What's keeping Larry so lively that he wants to be frozen for eternity? This man refuses to die. Because that's what he goes to bed with. Yes. You have me in your house. I've been rooting, Larry.
(LAUGHTER)
SOUTHWICK: Why didn't you pick a matching set?
BRAND: Because it's dark in there, OK? I spent a lot of time rummaging around in Larry's (INAUDIBLE).
KING: Russell, does anything embarrass you?
O'BRIEN: Clearly not.
KING: Clearly not.
BRAND: It's the artful (INAUDIBLE), yes, he is. Hello, hello. I'm a touring scamp. I've got no morality.
KING: What keeps you up, Jack?
BRAND: Yes. Just move on.
KING: Yes, thinking about new things.
BRAND: Whoever's holding Shawn King's undies can talk.
O'BRIEN: Here's the question. Here's the thing. You just revealed that you want to be frozen.
KING: Why are you hung on that?
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: Listen, two things just happened. You revealed you want your head chopped off and frozen and Russell Brand went into your wife's room and stole her underwear and now you're moving on with prepared questions.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: Coming up, my guests are about to reveal a very personal side you have not heard before.
BANKS: In real life, I'm like passive aggressive. I'm anti- confrontational. I'm even in coaching to, like, learn how to be confrontational.
DORSEY: I've made hundreds and hundreds of mistakes and learn from them.
MACFARLANE: I think people because of "Family Guy" think that I'm -- BANKS: Heartless?
MACFARLANE: Yes. A heartless frat guy, playboy type. Could not be further from the truth.
KING: Find out what they are all really like when no one's around. Up next on this Larry King special "Dinner with the Kings."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: What's the biggest misunderstanding about you? What don't people know about you or think wrongly about you?
O'NEAL: They probably don't know that I'm a nice guy.
SOUTHWICK: Yes. He's so sweet.
KING: Because you look evil on the court.
O'NEAL: Yes.
KING: You do. You do.
O'NEAL: I look evil. And you know, sometimes when I don't want to be bothered, I give people the short answer. You know, I just -- you know, but, you know, most of the time I'm friendly. I make people laugh. I like to laugh. I think if I can laugh at myself, then I can laugh at anything.
KING: What don't we know about? What's misunderstood about you?
BANKS: Misunderstood? Well, when I did my show, created my show, whatever, I also created a persona on "Top Model." And it's a character. So when I'm sitting there and I have all this make-up on and I'm, like, your picture is not fierce and you know talking all that and reprimanding the girls, and like that is a character. Like I don't do that.
Like, in real life, I'm, like, passive aggressive. I'm anti- confrontational. I'm even in coaching to, like, learn how to be confrontational. So it's a character. But people think it's real.
KING: You're very sexy. You realize that you're like a sex symbol to me.
BANKS: Am I? No, I'm not. I'm so not sexy. I know how to turn it on for a picture but I'm not sexy in real life. Like I'm not sexy right now.
KING: No, no.
BANKS: I'm not a sexy person but I know how to turn it on for a camera. I know how to turn it on for a camera, but I'm not like sexy normal.
BRAND: Would you mean you do not like having sex? BANKS: I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about --
BRAND: That's what sexy is. It's about sex.
(CROSSTALK)
BANKS: I'm talking about like sitting -- I don't know how to go like hello.
(CROSSTALK)
O'BRIEN: You know what? None of this is airing. This is clearly not airing. And if it's not airing we all have to chip in for the meal.
KING: I think -- I think it does go on HBO. What --
O'BRIEN: No. HBO would not air this.
KING: What don't -- what's misunderstood about you?
DORSEY: I think the biggest thing for me is that people assume when they see a Twitter or a square that it just happens and there were no mistakes, there were no wrong decisions. But I've made hundreds and hundreds of mistakes. And -- and learned from them.
And that's what makes a successful company. That's what makes a successful, creating endeavor is learning from your mistakes. And it's so easy to assume when you see something at a moment in time that it's been perfect up to that point.
BRAND: Jack Dorsey there, debunking the myth.
KING: Russell. What's the biggest myth about you?
BRAND: I don't know, mate. Because other people's perspectives in it. Like, if you spend too much time thinking about what other people think of you I think you've gone a bit mental. I'm bloody lucky I've got a conception at all, let alone a misconception. I'd be very grateful if anyone is thinking anything.
KING: Seth, what do we -- what do we misconceive about you?
MACFARLANE: I don't know. There's a million things that anyone at this table could read about themselves that is a misconception. I think people because of "Family Guy" think that I'm --
BANKS: Heartless?
MACFARLANE: Yes. A heartless frat guy. A playboy type. Could not be further from the truth. I'm actually very -- not withdrawn. I'm very shy. I fall asleep each night with a book in my hands, my favorite movie is "The Sound of Music." I mean I'm --
KING: You're not a player?
MACFARLANE: In no way whatsoever. That's always fascinated me. If I had had that reputation in high school, my god, it would have been wonderful. But no. I'm actually very -- I'm actually very --
KING: Well, you're a single, good looking, creative, inventive, successful guy.
MACFARLANE: Gosh, I don't know what to say, Larry. You're not frozen to me.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: Coming up, our dinner's almost over. And my guests tell me what they're thankful for.
BRAND: I'm lucky not to be dead. I was a drug addict for years. I'm very, very lucky to be here with all these beautiful and intelligent people.
O'BRIEN: Grateful that I'm at a party with these wonderful people and there are rubies on the table. The country is in a tight spot right now. And you're having a --
JONES: And Larry King is having away --
O'BRIEN: A televised function that Caligula would be embarrassed. Look at these.
KING: Stick around for dessert. Next on this LARRY KING SPECIAL, "Dinner with the Kings."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: Most grateful for. Anything.
BRAND: In 104 characters or less.
(LAUGHTER)
DORSEY: I'm most grateful for being able to wake up every day and do what I love. And -- and define every day completed. You know, I don't -- I can't think of anything else more magical than that. I can -- I can find my day and do exactly what I want to do.
KING: Russell?
BRAND: I think I'm most grateful for Shawn King's bra. This close to my heart.
KING: It's a serious moment, Russell.
BRAND: Oh, serious moment.
KING: What are you most --
BRAND: I'm so sorry for undercutting the paradigm.
I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful to be included in this. I'm lucky not to be dead. I was a drug addict for years. I'm very, very lucky to be here with all these beautiful and intelligent people. And very grateful to still be alive. Pioneers, brilliant comedians, beautiful, intelligent people. I'm grateful for these. I shouldn't even be here. I don't think I should be here now. I've (INAUDIBLE) loads of stuff from your house.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: Tyra?
BANKS: What am I most grateful for? I'm most grateful that I had a woman that raised me and kept me sane --
BRAND: Just finish the sentence there.
BANKS: -- in a world that's insane, full of insane people.
JONES: What are you looking at him for?
BANKS: I don't know. I don't know, right?
MACFARLANE: I'm grateful that I'm still a drug addict. I don't know how I would have gotten through this evening.
(LAUGHTER)
MACFARLANE: I think it would have been a disaster. I wouldn't have had a thing to say. No. I think -- I think I got -- I got to be unoriginal and duplicate Jack's sentiment that there's a million things I could be doing and I'm -- I couldn't be more delighted to be doing what I'm doing. I think a lot of it has to do with luck and timing. But, you know, pitching the right thing at the right time to the right people.
And so I'm grateful for being in the right place at the right time and getting the opportunity to do everything that I've been able to do.
KING: Shaq?
O'NEAL: I'm most grateful for being a medium level juvenile delinquent that made it. Because as you know many young African- Americans don't make it. And you know my key was being a leader, not a follower. Listening to my parents. And I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world.
I can remember a day, you know, I want to be a rapper and I'm doing my thing. And I get a call from Quincy Jones. He wants me to rap on his album. Remember that? That's why -- so that's why -- so -- that's why for me it's key that I remain humble. Because all this right now is luck. I mean, I remember timing where, you know, if I would have went this way, I wouldn't be here. If I would have went that way, you know, I wouldn't be here.
So you know I'm -- you know I'm grateful to have friends. I'm grateful that, you know, Conan has me on the show. I'm grateful to be sitting next to Tyra. So you know, I'm grateful that you invited me to this dinner. I thank you very much. I'm just a -- you know, a kid that's from northern New Jersey who followed his dreams, stayed out of trouble and I'm here.
KING: Quincy?
JONES: I'm grateful that I'm a motherless that lived -- was going to go from infancy to Alzheimer's. Never passed grown up. I don't ever want to be grown up. Seven of the most beautiful kids. Six daughters, one son. Grand kids and the best friends in the world. I work with every major artist in the world in the last 60 years. Every major artist. Louis Armstrong and Billy Holiday, too. All those rappers. It's a blessing. You have to take the light. The light part of your life, you know. Wipe out the darkness.
KING: Shawn?
SOUTHWICK: Most grateful for -- redundant. My family. My sons. I cry when I talk about them. So, yes, I'm thankful for them. And I'm really thankful for you.
KING: I'm grateful for this whole thing in life. Her, the kids. I can't believe -- I pinch myself every day. My kid who was -- my father died when I was 9 1/2. I was on relief for three years. New York City, bought my first pair of glasses. I dreamed of being on the radio. And that is all I ever dreamed of.
And I never thought all this would happen to me. And I'm grateful for it happening and for where I am right now. And still got things to do.
Conan? Are you praying, Conan?
O'BRIEN: I have an amazing -- yes. I was -- first of all, I'm grateful that I'm at a party with these wonderful people and there are rubies on the table. Rubies.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: We spare nothing.
MACFARLANE: They are fabulous.
O'BRIEN: This is insanity.
MACFARLANE: This is like the banquet in the temple of doom.
O'BRIEN: Well, it's ridiculous. This is making me feel horrible because the country's in a tight spot right now. And you're having a --
MACFARLANE: Larry King is giving away precious gems.
O'BRIEN: -- a televised function that Caligula would be embarrassed. Look at these rubies and There's rubies. I think I'm probably most grateful for -- I see the absurdity in things. I think that's -- I'm very grateful for that. This is absurd in a very nice way. But it's absurd that I get to sit at this table and -- and I think it's absurd that I get to do a show. And I think it's -- there are just so many things in my life that I think are absolutely --
KING: What am I doing here?
O'BRIEN: Yes. What am I doing here? And my grandfather directed traffic in Worcester, Massachusetts. And why am I here? And I -- my root has been so improbable. And I find myself to be an absurd person. I think it's ridiculous that I get to exist. So I think that sense of absurdity is -- keeps me going.
I just think is whole thing is insane and I've got your wife's underwear in my pocket.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: You got -- anybody got a credit card? I'll pay you back.
PUCK: You have a credit card? I have my --
KING: I left it upstairs.
PUCK: Who has a credit card?
KING: This is something that Jack has invented. All right. Tell what this is, Jack. Show is and tell what it is.
PUCK: They call it a Square.
DORSEY: It's called Square. And it allows anyone to accept credit cards.
BANKS: Anyone.
MACFARLANE: For any reason at all?
DORSEY: Personal trainer. For whatever reason.
MACFARLANE: That seems incredibly dangerous.
BRAND: They've been misuse.
KING: Where do you get it now, Jack?
DORSEY: What's that?
KING: Where do you get this?
DORSEY: You get it from the app store. You download it from Android or the iPhone app store. And it's really important for this particular economy because people are starting businesses and they want to start their own -- their own functions. And accepting payments has been the barrier.
KING: And you invented this?
DORSEY: Yes. Myself and my co-founder. We both (INAUDIBLE).
KING: What do you call it?
O'BRIEN: This will revolutionize prostitution.
(LAUGHTER)
O'BRIEN: No. Congratulations. Here, here.
PUCK: I'm leaving.
(CROSSTALK)
KING: For Wolfgang.
PUCK: Bye. Thanks, everybody.
KING: Thank you, all. Thank you, all, for a wonderful evening.
And with that, dinner was done. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Thank you all for watching. And Happy Holidays.
