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Interview With Caitlin Shetter, Judy Kuriansky

Aired May 20, 2003 - 14:32   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Your teenager might think waiting for sex is a nice idea, but chances are he or she is convinced no one really does, and middle school is where it often starts. That's according to a teen survey taken by the Kaiser Family Foundation released today. One in three boys say peer pressure from other boys pushes them to seek sex. One in 16 say occasional sex without a condom, not a big deal, and one in five admit having unprotected sex after drinking or using drugs.
Now, despite those startling statistics, we are told the teen pregnancy rate is actually on the decline. So, if you're confused and worried about your children, as I am, let's get some thoughts on what we can do about this. For that, we turn to clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Judy Kuriansky...

(INTERRUPTED BY BREAKING NEWS)

O'BRIEN: All right. Let's shift gears to where we were just a moment ago. We were talking about the issue of teenagers and sex, and joining me along with Dr. Judy Kuriansky, Caitlin Shetter, who is a graduating high school senior here in Atlanta, Georgia who is familiar with this topic and has spoken at length about it, has some friends who have some experience, if you will, in all of this, and let's -- I wanted to just bring some numbers to the table here and bounce it off both you, Caitlin, and Dr. Judy.

The first one is some of the big concerns that were voiced in this study by the Kaiser Foundation. No. 1 on the list, ages 15 to 17 or 18 to 24, sex health issues, 82 percent in the younger group, 90 percent in the older group. Sexual violence, 70 percent and 78 percent, and these two issues are more important in the minds of these young people than the issue of using drugs.

Caitlin, first of all, does that surprise you?

CAITLIN SHETTER, HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT: Not at all. Not at all. Sex is so common amongst people my age. It's too often that I turn around in one of my classes and see one of my friends pregnant, one of their friends pregnant. Four out of ten girls get pregnant once before the age of 20, and this number is so, so large. And it is quite a bad thing, so no. Those numbers are not a surprise to me at all.

O'BRIEN: How about you, Dr. Judy? Any surprise in those numbers?

JUDY KURIANSKY, SEX THERAPIST: No. What the surprise and the shock is, Miles, is that they stay at that level despite the fact that we have the supposed abstinence-only programs. What it shows is that they don't work. There is actually such a connection here between what we just heard and what we're dealing with in the news with the terror alert rising from yellow to orange, and that is that there is always a danger, particularly with young people, about this issue called terror sex, apocalyptic sex, or what I call the Anne Frank syndrome that when kids get fearful, especially in this time now when they are worried, Well, if the end of the world is going to come, what difference does it make? It's not going to happen to me that I'll get pregnant or that I'll get AIDS or something if I might die anyway. This is how kids think, and it is very related to, even, the threat of depression for them. Overwhelming fears about what's going on in the world affect kids' sexual behavior.

O'BRIEN: Caitlin, you were nodding and smiling as she was saying that. Is that real?

SHETTER: Yes, sir. Absolutely. I hear my friends all of the time, Oh, it's not going to happen to me.

O'BRIEN: Wow.

SHETTER: And I turn around and I say, it could happen to you. It could happen to you. It could happen to anyone.

O'BRIEN: All right. Peer pressure. This is an old subject with a little different spin now. Peer pressure says -- according to this study, at the top remains drinking beer or alcohol, 38 percent across the board there, but very close to it is the pressure to have sex. Twenty-nine percent feel the pressure, age 15 to 17, 34 percent, age 18 to 24, and that actually exceeds the pressure to use drugs. Caitlin does that one surprise you at all?

SHETTER: Not at all. Five out of 10 males think that sex is no big deal, and that if the girl gets pregnant, it's not their fault. And this is why I actually started a program here in Georgia, implemented in high schools called "Time Out," which targets teenage male athletes and lets them know that sex is a big deal. It has its consequences and they need to stand up and take action against these consequences.

O'BRIEN: Judy, peer pressure is as old as teenagers.

KURIANSKY: And it still exists and it's shocking to me because I've spent a lot of time trying to overcome that in talking to teens, and what happens is, just as you mentioned from those statistics, Miles, the boys now feel pressure that they have to have it, and the girls are still feeling pressure that if I don't have sex with this boyfriend, I'm going to lose my boyfriend, and the key is, have a boyfriend.

And the most important way to counteract that is to help young girls see there are other things in life that are valuable besides the boyfriend, getting ahead in their own lives, dealing with their own desires to be successful in their careers, having their friendships, developing new hobbies. Even getting involved in sports is just so important in terms of the whole issues of Title IX because those are ways to drain off energy. Sex is energy. Kids have lots of energy and hormones raging. We need to get those ways that they can drain their energy without having sex.

O'BRIEN: All right. Let's go to the final bit of statistic that we have time to share with you. It's a big report, and you can go to the Kaiser Family Foundation if you want to read all 141 pages of it, but here is the issue of -- I want to go to the next one, it's the final one. It's about sexual experience, keep going. And -- it's the final one.

And the question is, ages 15 to 17, the question was been with someone in an intimate way, up to and including intercourse, and this is amazing to me. Age -- 15-year-olds, 56 percent of them said "yes" to that, 36 percent was oral sex, and 37 percent at that age group had intercourse. But then look at 18 to 24. Of course, that is a little different age group, but looking at that younger age group. Once again, Caitlin, I have to ask you, is this a trend that is in any way stopping, or will it continue, do you think?

SHETTER: It's decreasing. However, like you said earlier, the peer pressure is so large, especially now with the media and the press and the TV shows and 50 percent of all kids have been to a party unchaperoned, no adults whatsoever. They find themselves on the couches with their boyfriends and their girlfriends, and the peer pressure. The peer pressure. They have been alone in an intimate situation with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and so the continuation is -- of this issue, it's still a problem, but it is decreasing.

O'BRIEN: All right. Let me ask you this, Dr. Judy. That whole point of the media having an influence. She said that in the same breath saying that she has been to many unchaperoned parties. Where are the parents in all of this, and are the parents responsible for this? Let's take a little responsibility here collectively as parents, should we?

KURIANSKY: Yes, but I think we can't claim all the responsibility on parents. This is a multi-fold issue that teens and their own friends, where they get the most information, have to take responsibility. The schools need to do their job, and the parents can do their job by really overcoming the major issue, which is their own fear in talking about sex. I've done my own studies about this too to show that talking about sex does not make kids go out and do, so parents should not be afraid to do that. They should not be afraid to say, I don't know the answer, I don't know the words, like "crib," I don't know what that means. Well, it's bedroom, or something. Tell your kids that. All you need to do is come out and say, I don't think I know the lingo, why don't you teach me? Let's have an open conversation about this.

In the study, over the majority of parents said they talk to kids about sex, but the kids said that they weren't having those conversations. So don't be afraid that you don't know the answers, and that you don't know what to say. Just be open and honest and get the talk going.

O'BRIEN: Would you agree?

SHETTER: I would agree. The No. 1 tip I would give is talk to your kids, and don't be afraid. We're listening, our ears are open. Whether you believe it or not, we hear what you say.

O'BRIEN: Whether we know what a "crib" is or not. OK. Dr. Judy Kuriansky, we'll do our best to learn the lingo and we appreciate your time today. Thank you for joining us always, Dr. Judy.

And Caitlin Shetter, congratulations to you on your efforts, and good luck at Cornell, we are told.

SHETTER: Yes, sir. Thank you.

O'BRIEN: We appreciate you giving us that side of the story.

SHETTER: Thank you.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired May 20, 2003 - 14:32   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Your teenager might think waiting for sex is a nice idea, but chances are he or she is convinced no one really does, and middle school is where it often starts. That's according to a teen survey taken by the Kaiser Family Foundation released today. One in three boys say peer pressure from other boys pushes them to seek sex. One in 16 say occasional sex without a condom, not a big deal, and one in five admit having unprotected sex after drinking or using drugs.
Now, despite those startling statistics, we are told the teen pregnancy rate is actually on the decline. So, if you're confused and worried about your children, as I am, let's get some thoughts on what we can do about this. For that, we turn to clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Judy Kuriansky...

(INTERRUPTED BY BREAKING NEWS)

O'BRIEN: All right. Let's shift gears to where we were just a moment ago. We were talking about the issue of teenagers and sex, and joining me along with Dr. Judy Kuriansky, Caitlin Shetter, who is a graduating high school senior here in Atlanta, Georgia who is familiar with this topic and has spoken at length about it, has some friends who have some experience, if you will, in all of this, and let's -- I wanted to just bring some numbers to the table here and bounce it off both you, Caitlin, and Dr. Judy.

The first one is some of the big concerns that were voiced in this study by the Kaiser Foundation. No. 1 on the list, ages 15 to 17 or 18 to 24, sex health issues, 82 percent in the younger group, 90 percent in the older group. Sexual violence, 70 percent and 78 percent, and these two issues are more important in the minds of these young people than the issue of using drugs.

Caitlin, first of all, does that surprise you?

CAITLIN SHETTER, HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT: Not at all. Not at all. Sex is so common amongst people my age. It's too often that I turn around in one of my classes and see one of my friends pregnant, one of their friends pregnant. Four out of ten girls get pregnant once before the age of 20, and this number is so, so large. And it is quite a bad thing, so no. Those numbers are not a surprise to me at all.

O'BRIEN: How about you, Dr. Judy? Any surprise in those numbers?

JUDY KURIANSKY, SEX THERAPIST: No. What the surprise and the shock is, Miles, is that they stay at that level despite the fact that we have the supposed abstinence-only programs. What it shows is that they don't work. There is actually such a connection here between what we just heard and what we're dealing with in the news with the terror alert rising from yellow to orange, and that is that there is always a danger, particularly with young people, about this issue called terror sex, apocalyptic sex, or what I call the Anne Frank syndrome that when kids get fearful, especially in this time now when they are worried, Well, if the end of the world is going to come, what difference does it make? It's not going to happen to me that I'll get pregnant or that I'll get AIDS or something if I might die anyway. This is how kids think, and it is very related to, even, the threat of depression for them. Overwhelming fears about what's going on in the world affect kids' sexual behavior.

O'BRIEN: Caitlin, you were nodding and smiling as she was saying that. Is that real?

SHETTER: Yes, sir. Absolutely. I hear my friends all of the time, Oh, it's not going to happen to me.

O'BRIEN: Wow.

SHETTER: And I turn around and I say, it could happen to you. It could happen to you. It could happen to anyone.

O'BRIEN: All right. Peer pressure. This is an old subject with a little different spin now. Peer pressure says -- according to this study, at the top remains drinking beer or alcohol, 38 percent across the board there, but very close to it is the pressure to have sex. Twenty-nine percent feel the pressure, age 15 to 17, 34 percent, age 18 to 24, and that actually exceeds the pressure to use drugs. Caitlin does that one surprise you at all?

SHETTER: Not at all. Five out of 10 males think that sex is no big deal, and that if the girl gets pregnant, it's not their fault. And this is why I actually started a program here in Georgia, implemented in high schools called "Time Out," which targets teenage male athletes and lets them know that sex is a big deal. It has its consequences and they need to stand up and take action against these consequences.

O'BRIEN: Judy, peer pressure is as old as teenagers.

KURIANSKY: And it still exists and it's shocking to me because I've spent a lot of time trying to overcome that in talking to teens, and what happens is, just as you mentioned from those statistics, Miles, the boys now feel pressure that they have to have it, and the girls are still feeling pressure that if I don't have sex with this boyfriend, I'm going to lose my boyfriend, and the key is, have a boyfriend.

And the most important way to counteract that is to help young girls see there are other things in life that are valuable besides the boyfriend, getting ahead in their own lives, dealing with their own desires to be successful in their careers, having their friendships, developing new hobbies. Even getting involved in sports is just so important in terms of the whole issues of Title IX because those are ways to drain off energy. Sex is energy. Kids have lots of energy and hormones raging. We need to get those ways that they can drain their energy without having sex.

O'BRIEN: All right. Let's go to the final bit of statistic that we have time to share with you. It's a big report, and you can go to the Kaiser Family Foundation if you want to read all 141 pages of it, but here is the issue of -- I want to go to the next one, it's the final one. It's about sexual experience, keep going. And -- it's the final one.

And the question is, ages 15 to 17, the question was been with someone in an intimate way, up to and including intercourse, and this is amazing to me. Age -- 15-year-olds, 56 percent of them said "yes" to that, 36 percent was oral sex, and 37 percent at that age group had intercourse. But then look at 18 to 24. Of course, that is a little different age group, but looking at that younger age group. Once again, Caitlin, I have to ask you, is this a trend that is in any way stopping, or will it continue, do you think?

SHETTER: It's decreasing. However, like you said earlier, the peer pressure is so large, especially now with the media and the press and the TV shows and 50 percent of all kids have been to a party unchaperoned, no adults whatsoever. They find themselves on the couches with their boyfriends and their girlfriends, and the peer pressure. The peer pressure. They have been alone in an intimate situation with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and so the continuation is -- of this issue, it's still a problem, but it is decreasing.

O'BRIEN: All right. Let me ask you this, Dr. Judy. That whole point of the media having an influence. She said that in the same breath saying that she has been to many unchaperoned parties. Where are the parents in all of this, and are the parents responsible for this? Let's take a little responsibility here collectively as parents, should we?

KURIANSKY: Yes, but I think we can't claim all the responsibility on parents. This is a multi-fold issue that teens and their own friends, where they get the most information, have to take responsibility. The schools need to do their job, and the parents can do their job by really overcoming the major issue, which is their own fear in talking about sex. I've done my own studies about this too to show that talking about sex does not make kids go out and do, so parents should not be afraid to do that. They should not be afraid to say, I don't know the answer, I don't know the words, like "crib," I don't know what that means. Well, it's bedroom, or something. Tell your kids that. All you need to do is come out and say, I don't think I know the lingo, why don't you teach me? Let's have an open conversation about this.

In the study, over the majority of parents said they talk to kids about sex, but the kids said that they weren't having those conversations. So don't be afraid that you don't know the answers, and that you don't know what to say. Just be open and honest and get the talk going.

O'BRIEN: Would you agree?

SHETTER: I would agree. The No. 1 tip I would give is talk to your kids, and don't be afraid. We're listening, our ears are open. Whether you believe it or not, we hear what you say.

O'BRIEN: Whether we know what a "crib" is or not. OK. Dr. Judy Kuriansky, we'll do our best to learn the lingo and we appreciate your time today. Thank you for joining us always, Dr. Judy.

And Caitlin Shetter, congratulations to you on your efforts, and good luck at Cornell, we are told.

SHETTER: Yes, sir. Thank you.

O'BRIEN: We appreciate you giving us that side of the story.

SHETTER: Thank you.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com