Return to Transcripts main page

Live From...

Interview With Psychologist Renae Franiuk

Aired May 30, 2003 - 14:50   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, do you believe you have a soul mate, the one person in all of creation made just for you? Well, some marriage therapists say, Forget about it. Soul mates, they say, are for movies and fairy tales, but have little to do with real life.
Millions of young adults, however, would disagree. The idea is widely accepted and even the subject of some serious study, and with us today is psychologist Renae Franiuk. She is the lead researcher on a relationship study at the University of Illinois. She is here to present her findings in Atlanta to the American Psychological Society meeting.

Good to have you with us, Renae.

RENAE FRANIUK, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS RESEARCHER: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: Soul mate. Tell us the origins of this whole concept.

FRANIUK: Yes. We basically contrast two different theories. We think that there are people out there who believe in soul mates, and believe that they're looking for that one person, or a select few people with whom they're meant to be, and then it's really critical for a relationship's success to find that right person.

O'BRIEN: All right. So, first of all, the whole idea that there's one person out there that is meant to be, in a way, that's kind of a great concept, but then it's also -- it could be kind of a sad concept when you're talking about six billion people and maybe they're nowhere near you.

FRANIUK: It could be. That's basically what we find in our research, that people who have this soul mate theory, who believe this, which is actually a lot of college students, they're actually very satisfied if they think they find that right person. But they're actually very dissatisfied in their relationships if they don't think they find that right person.

O'BRIEN: OK. So a lot of this is the way you think about your relationship.

FRANIUK: Right. Right.

O'BRIEN: All right. Let's look at a few statistics here. We have a graphic here to give you a sense of it. And this is your -- I want to ask you why you went after college students in just a moment, but this is the numbers. Fifty percent believe in soul mates, 15 percent believe in working it out, 35 percent are neutral. Did those numbers surprise you, first of all?

FRANIUK: No, they didn't. Considering our culture, our culture is really inundated with the soul mate theory. You see it in movies, music, fairy tales. We're bombarded with messages to find that one person with whom we're meant to be. So I'm not surprised at all that college students really internalize this and expect their relationships to have the same fantastic quality.

O'BRIEN: And that's why you went after college students? You felt that it would be a little more idealism about relationships there?

FRANIUK: We went after college students because that is the easiest population for us to study at the university.

O'BRIEN: Kind of a captive audience, they're right there.

FRANIUK: It sure is. They're right there.

O'BRIEN: Now, if you were to take a guess, and you're polling 40-year-olds, what would you find out?

FRANIUK: Right. We have. We have. We've studied married couples, and we actually find that they get a little more pragmatic. This other theory I talked about, this "work" theory, where relationships take work and they grow over time, we find that married couples are more likely to hold that theory than college students. So they get more pragmatic as they get older, as they get married, and as they have kids.

O'BRIEN: Well, I suppose -- yes, because there are all kinds of stresses which come along with all those things, and when you are a college student, you are not really fully aware of that. But I suppose there's a hybrid of that. Your soul mate, but it's still work.

FRANIUK: Exactly. That's what we find married couples say.

O'BRIEN: All right. And submitted for your approval, let me show my soul mate. Right there. That's Sandy.

And if you were to ask me, I would definitely say that. But I would also not minimize the value, especially over time, with children and the stresses of marriage, that it's something you have to put some energy into, because soul mate sort of implies that you're just along for the ride, it's just going to be fine, right?

FRANIUK: It does. Ironically, though, what we find in our research is these soul mate theorists (ph), they do believe this -- that it's instantaneous, it's all just going to happen. But they ironically work very hard to keep their relationships happy when they think they're with their soul mate.

O'BRIEN: All right. I'm sure if Sandy were here, she'd agree with you wholeheartedly on all that. Renae Franiuk, thank you very much. Thanks for dropping by in Atlanta, and thanks for coming in here while you were here.

FRANIUK: Thank you. No problem.

O'BRIEN: All right. Good luck. I don't know if you have a soul mate, but good luck finding one.

FRANIUK: Thanks.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired May 30, 2003 - 14:50   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, do you believe you have a soul mate, the one person in all of creation made just for you? Well, some marriage therapists say, Forget about it. Soul mates, they say, are for movies and fairy tales, but have little to do with real life.
Millions of young adults, however, would disagree. The idea is widely accepted and even the subject of some serious study, and with us today is psychologist Renae Franiuk. She is the lead researcher on a relationship study at the University of Illinois. She is here to present her findings in Atlanta to the American Psychological Society meeting.

Good to have you with us, Renae.

RENAE FRANIUK, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS RESEARCHER: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: Soul mate. Tell us the origins of this whole concept.

FRANIUK: Yes. We basically contrast two different theories. We think that there are people out there who believe in soul mates, and believe that they're looking for that one person, or a select few people with whom they're meant to be, and then it's really critical for a relationship's success to find that right person.

O'BRIEN: All right. So, first of all, the whole idea that there's one person out there that is meant to be, in a way, that's kind of a great concept, but then it's also -- it could be kind of a sad concept when you're talking about six billion people and maybe they're nowhere near you.

FRANIUK: It could be. That's basically what we find in our research, that people who have this soul mate theory, who believe this, which is actually a lot of college students, they're actually very satisfied if they think they find that right person. But they're actually very dissatisfied in their relationships if they don't think they find that right person.

O'BRIEN: OK. So a lot of this is the way you think about your relationship.

FRANIUK: Right. Right.

O'BRIEN: All right. Let's look at a few statistics here. We have a graphic here to give you a sense of it. And this is your -- I want to ask you why you went after college students in just a moment, but this is the numbers. Fifty percent believe in soul mates, 15 percent believe in working it out, 35 percent are neutral. Did those numbers surprise you, first of all?

FRANIUK: No, they didn't. Considering our culture, our culture is really inundated with the soul mate theory. You see it in movies, music, fairy tales. We're bombarded with messages to find that one person with whom we're meant to be. So I'm not surprised at all that college students really internalize this and expect their relationships to have the same fantastic quality.

O'BRIEN: And that's why you went after college students? You felt that it would be a little more idealism about relationships there?

FRANIUK: We went after college students because that is the easiest population for us to study at the university.

O'BRIEN: Kind of a captive audience, they're right there.

FRANIUK: It sure is. They're right there.

O'BRIEN: Now, if you were to take a guess, and you're polling 40-year-olds, what would you find out?

FRANIUK: Right. We have. We have. We've studied married couples, and we actually find that they get a little more pragmatic. This other theory I talked about, this "work" theory, where relationships take work and they grow over time, we find that married couples are more likely to hold that theory than college students. So they get more pragmatic as they get older, as they get married, and as they have kids.

O'BRIEN: Well, I suppose -- yes, because there are all kinds of stresses which come along with all those things, and when you are a college student, you are not really fully aware of that. But I suppose there's a hybrid of that. Your soul mate, but it's still work.

FRANIUK: Exactly. That's what we find married couples say.

O'BRIEN: All right. And submitted for your approval, let me show my soul mate. Right there. That's Sandy.

And if you were to ask me, I would definitely say that. But I would also not minimize the value, especially over time, with children and the stresses of marriage, that it's something you have to put some energy into, because soul mate sort of implies that you're just along for the ride, it's just going to be fine, right?

FRANIUK: It does. Ironically, though, what we find in our research is these soul mate theorists (ph), they do believe this -- that it's instantaneous, it's all just going to happen. But they ironically work very hard to keep their relationships happy when they think they're with their soul mate.

O'BRIEN: All right. I'm sure if Sandy were here, she'd agree with you wholeheartedly on all that. Renae Franiuk, thank you very much. Thanks for dropping by in Atlanta, and thanks for coming in here while you were here.

FRANIUK: Thank you. No problem.

O'BRIEN: All right. Good luck. I don't know if you have a soul mate, but good luck finding one.

FRANIUK: Thanks.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com