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Interview With Judy Kuriansky

Aired August 07, 2003 - 14:35   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, in case you have not been watching CNN -- and we would never suggest you do that -- Kobe Bryant has been to Colorado and back. It was a brief visit, only seven minutes before the judge yesterday. Probably ten times the amount of coverage, actually more than that.
Anyway, he's accused of sexual assault. Bryant is scheduled to be back there on October 9 for a preliminary hearing and that's when he finds out if the case against him will, in fact, go to trial.

KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: Well to some folks it apparently doesn't matter what the verdict is, they're among his youngest fans who cheer wherever he goes. At the Teen Choice awards, which aired last night, Bryant was named favorite male athlete.

O'BRIEN: Now keep in mind the balloting continued for several weeks after Bryant was charged for assaulting a 19-year-old hotel clerk, allegedly. Here to talk with us about your kids and sports heroes and whether there are any heroes left at all, for that matter, the one and only Dr. Judy, Judy Kuriansky. Good to see you, Dr. Judy.

DR. JUDY KURIANSKY, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Oh, what a pleasure to be here. Thanks, Miles.

O'BRIEN: So, Judy, you tell the kids to take all the Kobe posters down?

KURIANSKY: Well parents have an opportunity now to really talk to their kids about what it means to be a hero and how heroes can really do things that are wrong, and to explain how just because you're great at a sport or because you're a superstar in some way, even on the silver screen in Hollywood, does not excuse you from doing things that are wrong in the dating world and in the interpersonal relationships. There's a golden opportunity. It's really the light in a dark tunnel here.

PHILLIPS: Dr. Judy, there's something that's very sad about this situation. That is just the merchandise, Kobe Bryant merchandise is selling like crazy. And he is getting cheers from all these young kids, amid -- even if the allegation of rape doesn't prove true, I mean he cheated on his wife. And these are -- kids have these posters in their rooms, and the jerseys are selling. It's just a sad reflection, I think, in a way. Do you agree, or no?

KURIANSKY: I think it's a very sad reflection. I'm sad to say that since I work with teens so much. But they really are way too forgiving about this. They're not paying attention, which they should, which is why parents and their friends who do know about how serious these charges are should remind them that this is not something to take very lightly.

Of course, he hasn't been proven -- what he's accused of is what he did. What happens is that kids just become overwhelmed with the fact that he's a star and they excuse everything, no matter what it might be and how serious it is.

So then they also think if anything -- his name is out there, so much, it's on everybody's lips. And so they just confuse that and say, Oh, I'm cool, boys come up to me. He's so cool. And now everybody knows who he is. And girls are swooning, even forgetting that he might have done something wrong and saying, God, oh, if he looked at me.

And this is really a sad reflection on kids but it reflects badly about us as parents and about our society. That we let these things go and that we don't take them seriously. So this is a wake-up call.

O'BRIEN: Well, but we've had this wake-up call time and again. And what you're talking about here are really deep rooted issues here about what we as a society value and what we put up on a pedestal. These guys are not necessarily worthy of the amount of praise and attention we give them.

KURIANSKY: Well, exactly. And this is a message, also, for the rest of the world because it spreads around the world that just because people's (sic) a star then everybody forgives them.

It's important for parents to take this opportunity to say, for example -- even to young children who are 8-years-old who really don't have the cognitive skills and mental skills yet -- to say, What do you know about this basketball star Kobe Bryant? And wait until the child says what he or she has heard. And then say, What do you know about what it means to go out with somebody and to ask for a sexual experience? And to teach the kids that no means no and that it's very important when you hear that message, no, to pay attention to it.

This is still a problem. We have very high statistics, by the way, of hallway harassment in schools, even between kids. There's high rates of date rape and kids using drug and alcohol in order for sex. So this is why when you have a superstar who has this kind of experience parents need to start with 8-year-old young children and talking to teenagers about dating.

And saying, How are you supposed to treat a date? How do you ask a girl out on the date? When you're turned on to her, how do you behave? How do you tell a boy no? These are the opportunities to...

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: ... making me nervous about my kids growing up and getting to this phase.

PHILLIPS: Also, too, Dr. Judy, the kids that think Kobe is so cool, and even more cool now that because of all this going on, they are going to need to be convinced somehow that he's not cool. So what do you do? Do you search out the athlete that has, I don't know, does a lot for charity or is a real family man? The kid needs a replacement.

O'BRIEN: Good luck finding a hero these days.

(CROSSTALK)

KURIANSKY: I'm going to give you an honorary psychology degree...

(CROSSTALK)

KURIANSKY: ... that was very, very smart.

First of all, you explain that people -- you say people like Kobe Bryant can be excellent in one area, in their job and in their sport, and they can have some failings in their personal relationships. So that's one thing.

And then it's brilliant what you said. Then you find somebody else. You say, who else -- but you always ask rather than tell them with kids, you always say, Who else do you like? And you keep asking until they find somebody that you know is a good father figure, is being a good -- is in a solid relationship.

You say, Oh, you see, now there's the difference between somebody who is committed and who can have good values and someone who might do something that could be a little shady. And then you always bring it around to their own choices about their relationship as a lesson for them.

O'BRIEN: Wow! Good advice, Dr. Judy.

PHILLIPS: We've got to put her cell phone number in our cell phones. When we're having issues, we call Dr. Judy.

O'BRIEN: She's the best. I always learn something. Thank you very much for being with us, as always.

PHILLIPS: It's great. Thank you.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired August 7, 2003 - 14:35   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, in case you have not been watching CNN -- and we would never suggest you do that -- Kobe Bryant has been to Colorado and back. It was a brief visit, only seven minutes before the judge yesterday. Probably ten times the amount of coverage, actually more than that.
Anyway, he's accused of sexual assault. Bryant is scheduled to be back there on October 9 for a preliminary hearing and that's when he finds out if the case against him will, in fact, go to trial.

KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: Well to some folks it apparently doesn't matter what the verdict is, they're among his youngest fans who cheer wherever he goes. At the Teen Choice awards, which aired last night, Bryant was named favorite male athlete.

O'BRIEN: Now keep in mind the balloting continued for several weeks after Bryant was charged for assaulting a 19-year-old hotel clerk, allegedly. Here to talk with us about your kids and sports heroes and whether there are any heroes left at all, for that matter, the one and only Dr. Judy, Judy Kuriansky. Good to see you, Dr. Judy.

DR. JUDY KURIANSKY, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Oh, what a pleasure to be here. Thanks, Miles.

O'BRIEN: So, Judy, you tell the kids to take all the Kobe posters down?

KURIANSKY: Well parents have an opportunity now to really talk to their kids about what it means to be a hero and how heroes can really do things that are wrong, and to explain how just because you're great at a sport or because you're a superstar in some way, even on the silver screen in Hollywood, does not excuse you from doing things that are wrong in the dating world and in the interpersonal relationships. There's a golden opportunity. It's really the light in a dark tunnel here.

PHILLIPS: Dr. Judy, there's something that's very sad about this situation. That is just the merchandise, Kobe Bryant merchandise is selling like crazy. And he is getting cheers from all these young kids, amid -- even if the allegation of rape doesn't prove true, I mean he cheated on his wife. And these are -- kids have these posters in their rooms, and the jerseys are selling. It's just a sad reflection, I think, in a way. Do you agree, or no?

KURIANSKY: I think it's a very sad reflection. I'm sad to say that since I work with teens so much. But they really are way too forgiving about this. They're not paying attention, which they should, which is why parents and their friends who do know about how serious these charges are should remind them that this is not something to take very lightly.

Of course, he hasn't been proven -- what he's accused of is what he did. What happens is that kids just become overwhelmed with the fact that he's a star and they excuse everything, no matter what it might be and how serious it is.

So then they also think if anything -- his name is out there, so much, it's on everybody's lips. And so they just confuse that and say, Oh, I'm cool, boys come up to me. He's so cool. And now everybody knows who he is. And girls are swooning, even forgetting that he might have done something wrong and saying, God, oh, if he looked at me.

And this is really a sad reflection on kids but it reflects badly about us as parents and about our society. That we let these things go and that we don't take them seriously. So this is a wake-up call.

O'BRIEN: Well, but we've had this wake-up call time and again. And what you're talking about here are really deep rooted issues here about what we as a society value and what we put up on a pedestal. These guys are not necessarily worthy of the amount of praise and attention we give them.

KURIANSKY: Well, exactly. And this is a message, also, for the rest of the world because it spreads around the world that just because people's (sic) a star then everybody forgives them.

It's important for parents to take this opportunity to say, for example -- even to young children who are 8-years-old who really don't have the cognitive skills and mental skills yet -- to say, What do you know about this basketball star Kobe Bryant? And wait until the child says what he or she has heard. And then say, What do you know about what it means to go out with somebody and to ask for a sexual experience? And to teach the kids that no means no and that it's very important when you hear that message, no, to pay attention to it.

This is still a problem. We have very high statistics, by the way, of hallway harassment in schools, even between kids. There's high rates of date rape and kids using drug and alcohol in order for sex. So this is why when you have a superstar who has this kind of experience parents need to start with 8-year-old young children and talking to teenagers about dating.

And saying, How are you supposed to treat a date? How do you ask a girl out on the date? When you're turned on to her, how do you behave? How do you tell a boy no? These are the opportunities to...

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: ... making me nervous about my kids growing up and getting to this phase.

PHILLIPS: Also, too, Dr. Judy, the kids that think Kobe is so cool, and even more cool now that because of all this going on, they are going to need to be convinced somehow that he's not cool. So what do you do? Do you search out the athlete that has, I don't know, does a lot for charity or is a real family man? The kid needs a replacement.

O'BRIEN: Good luck finding a hero these days.

(CROSSTALK)

KURIANSKY: I'm going to give you an honorary psychology degree...

(CROSSTALK)

KURIANSKY: ... that was very, very smart.

First of all, you explain that people -- you say people like Kobe Bryant can be excellent in one area, in their job and in their sport, and they can have some failings in their personal relationships. So that's one thing.

And then it's brilliant what you said. Then you find somebody else. You say, who else -- but you always ask rather than tell them with kids, you always say, Who else do you like? And you keep asking until they find somebody that you know is a good father figure, is being a good -- is in a solid relationship.

You say, Oh, you see, now there's the difference between somebody who is committed and who can have good values and someone who might do something that could be a little shady. And then you always bring it around to their own choices about their relationship as a lesson for them.

O'BRIEN: Wow! Good advice, Dr. Judy.

PHILLIPS: We've got to put her cell phone number in our cell phones. When we're having issues, we call Dr. Judy.

O'BRIEN: She's the best. I always learn something. Thank you very much for being with us, as always.

PHILLIPS: It's great. Thank you.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com