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Meet Ann Landers Replacement
Aired September 02, 2003 - 15:44 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, do you need to mend a broken heart? Or do you want to help dealing with your horrible boss? You know who you are. Or maybe just your mother-in-law?
KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: Well, there's a new wisdom wrangler in town and she's got some pretty big pumps to fill.
O'BRIEN: A wisdom wrangler.
PHILLIPS: You like that? You like the alliteration?
O'BRIEN: You like that Amy? Wisdom wrangler?
AMY DICKINSON, ADVICE COLUMNIST, CHICAGO TRIBUNE: Woo hoo!
PHILLIPS: Amy Dickinson in the house. She's taking over for Ann Landers' column in "The Chicago Tribune." No stranger to words. In her own right, she's also the relative of poet Emily Dickinson.
DICKINSON: Yes.
O'BRIEN: She could tell by looking at her feet.
PHILLIPS: Yes. She's a poet and doesn't even know it. Oh!
(CROSSTALK)
O'BRIEN: All right. Any way, Amy, good to have you with us.
DICKINSON: Thanks.
O'BRIEN: Just quickly before we get into some brass tax on advice, how has it gone so far? What have you found the biggest challenge?
DICKINSON: Well, you know, kind of keeping up with -- keeping up with the letters is pretty challenging and, you know, the question...
O'BRIEN: Wait a minute, you don't have -- you don't have staff to do this stuff?
PHILLIPS: She answers all the letters.
O'BRIEN: So you're, like, reading all this? DICKINSON: I'm reading all of this, opening -- physically opening envelopes and reading mail and reading e-mail and, you know, there's endless variety of stuff that's coming in. It kind of blows me away. it's pretty amazing.
O'BRIEN: Wow. It's got to be hard to select.
PHILLIPS: I was going to say, what has blown you away -- to this point, what's something that you've really you opened up and thought, Oh, my gosh.
DICKINSON: Well, I mean, I haven't had any, like, really -- ahh! -- shocking e-mail. I did run a letter from a guy who said he felt he'd been born the wrong gender...
O'BRIEN: Wow!
DICKINSON: ...and he didn't know what to do and he wanted to become transgendered and I felt very happy to pass on some advice for him and recommended a great book that I love on the topic for him to read.
O'BRIEN: Wow. You know what's different about Amy is she is -- what she admits is that she goes out and touches a bunch of other experts, which, you know, the previous generation of advice columns didn't necessarily say I was, you know, you're on the phone calling up...
PHILLIPS: They thought they were the experts.
O'BRIEN: Well, whatever, you know.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
O'BRIEN: We're not saying about anybody in particular.
All right. Let's talk about the general categories of questions she's been getting.
DICKINSON: Well, I've been hearing a lot about -- and you'll identify with this, Miles, I'm sure. A lot of questions from people about issues having to do with the workplace environment.
O'BRIEN: Ah, yes.
DICKINSON: You know, when you work in these big cattle pens, the way we do, people in close proximity to one another -- you know, proximity, it breeds contempt. What can I say?
O'BRIEN: What can you say? It's the Dilbert issue here, isn't it?
DICKINSON: Yes. Oh, yes.
O'BRIEN: All right. But let's show -- let's show these other categories too. And basically it boils down to all the important things from life. How can I get love? How can I keep love?
PHILLIPS: How can I confront someone over something unpleasant? Now this one I'm going to ask you -- why is my mother-in-law so much trouble? Can you answer that one for me please?
DICKINSON: Well what is it about in-laws that makes them perennial, you know, favorites? And -- and exactly, I think part of it is we don't feel -- we don't feel really obliged to get along with our in-laws because -- the way we do with our blood relatives because, you know, we're always thinking we can kind of get rid of them in some way.
O'BRIEN: Ah, yes.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
O'BRIEN: Yes. Yes. All right. Well, you know, this is only going to lead to trouble do I'm going to move on.
PHILLIPS: (UNINTELLIGIBLE) I'm not saying anything.
O'BRIEN: Yes. And you noticed how we stepped away from that one, Amy.
DICKINSON: Yes.
O'BRIEN: All right.
DICKINSON: Very deft.
O'BRIEN: How an anchor stays out of trouble here and we can give some advice on that.
All right. Here's a good letter which we wanted to share with you. You sent us a few of your favorites earlier.
"Dear Amy, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year-and-a-half, and the first six months of our relationship, he told me he loved me, but then following some sort of revelation on his part, he told me that he could no longer say that, due to some soul- searching 'who am i?' issues he was working out."
Do we have another page on this or is that basically it?
PHILLIPS: "How can I let him...
O'BRIEN: Oh there we go. No, that's it.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
O'BRIEN: So -- oh, here we are. "How can I let him figure things out in this relationship without feeling I'm sacrificing my needs and desires all the time? Or should I do what I don't want to do -- end the relationship, in order to stop feeling so sad about how I'm not getting what I want?"
Poor High Expectations is very confused. Now what do you -- how did you respond to this one?
DICKINSON: Well, I -- you know, I -- who hasn't heard that, Oh, I'm just -- I need to find myself. I don't know who I am. So in order to find myself I have to leave you. That's what this guy is saying to here and she, like, isn't sure what to do. I mean, she should know.
I think I suggested that she should get a cat. I said to her, if you want to be around a creature who is so mysterious that you have to guess how its feeling, why don't you get a cat?
O'BRIEN: Yes. Not a day. Because you know where a dog stands, but a cat...
DICKINSON: Oh, yes. No.
O'BRIEN: Yes. All right.
PHILLIPS: All right. Here's another one: "Dear Amy, my husband has two adult sisters that live with their parents. The younger one, 21, told us the older one, 25, is pregnant by approximately four months. Not being sure about the timing and stressing over his parents' reaction has caused my husband to be very moody. At what point do I or we have a right to say something to his sister or parents? Thank you for your opinion," Stressed.
Boy, I'd be stressed, too.
DICKINSON: Right. But here's kind of an in-law issue, in a way. I notice that she's writing the letter when my advice to her was to let her husband, the brother, deal with this. And I felt like he should deal with it and he should give her a call and check in and see what's going on.
O'BRIEN: All right. Excuse me.
PHILLIPS: He's getting a little choked up, Amy.
DICKINSON: My -- speaking of what's going on --
O'BRIEN: What do I do if I have a terrible cough and I have to anchor? All right.
We have a couple e-mails we got too from our loyal viewers here.
DICKINSON: OK.
O'BRIEN: Jason in Aspermont, Texas says this -- "Help." Just help. No. "My wife is seven months pregnant. Oh -- and we have a 12-month-old. On top of that my wife seems to be suffering from Post Partum Depression." Any tips on that one?
DICKINSON: Well, postpartum depression is potentially very, very serious and I give this husband credit for recognizing these changes.
O'BRIEN: The fact that he knows about it and is sensitive to it is good, right? Yes?
DICKINSON: Well, up to 80 percent of new mothers say they feel changes in their own attitude and behavior. But postpartum depression is very serious, and then there's something called postpartum psychosis that's very, very serious. And so what he needs to do is to help her get in touch with her doctor. She may not have mentioned these symptoms to her doctor and he should make sure her doctor is aware of this.
O'BRIEN: So maybe a therapist or somebody to talk this -- or maybe some medicines, potentially.
DICKINSON: Yes, well, her obstetrician should know and can make a referral. Yes.
O'BRIEN: OK. Good. I hoped that helped, Jason.
DICKINSON: Yes.
PHILLIPS: Charles wants to know, Amy : "It drives me crazy when people ask me when my wife and I are going to have kids. I think this is no one's business but ours. How do I answer this without being as rude as I think they are being?"
O'BRIEN: You get asked that all the time.
(CROSSTALK)
PHILLIPS: Miles drives me nuts, Amy.
O'BRIEN: I sort of laid off.
PHILLIPS: What should I say to Miles?
DICKINSON: You know what? There's such a -- there's a perfect answer for this. And you all -- you're in Atlanta. You know this. What do you do when somebody asks you a question that you don't want to answer you put your hand on their arm, and you say "Oh, that's so sweet of you to ask and then you change the subject." It's perfect.
O'BRIEN: Well that's -- that's easy.
PHILLIPS: I don't even have to answer.
DICKINSON: You say, "Oh, you're so sweet. How's the weather?"
PHILLIPS: You're so sweet. Where did you get that tie?
DICKINSON: You're so sweet.
O'BRIEN: It's kind of like the White House press briefing technique -- you know, thing.
DICKINSON: Exactly.
O'BRIEN: Press on with whatever you want to talk about besides what the reporter has asked.
DICKINSON: Yes.
PHILLIPS: Amy, you have a teenaged daughter, is that right?
DICKINSON: I do, yes.
PHILLIPS: So are you always advising her? Is she always coming to you, "Mom, I need some help."
DICKINSON: Not often enough, I would say. Actually...
PHILLIPS: She doesn't realize how cool mom is yet.
DICKINSON: You know, I actually called her today because I got a letter from a 14-year-old and I really wanted my daughter's point of view and she was very, very helpful.
O'BRIEN: Oh, good.
DICKINSON: So, yes.
O'BRIEN: Well, go, Emily. All right. Fantastic. Amy Dickinson, come back and visit, OK?
DICKINSON: Thanks, guy.
O'BRIEN: All right.
PHILLIPS: Thanks, Amy.
O'BRIEN: See ya.
TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com
Aired September 2, 2003 - 15:44 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, do you need to mend a broken heart? Or do you want to help dealing with your horrible boss? You know who you are. Or maybe just your mother-in-law?
KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: Well, there's a new wisdom wrangler in town and she's got some pretty big pumps to fill.
O'BRIEN: A wisdom wrangler.
PHILLIPS: You like that? You like the alliteration?
O'BRIEN: You like that Amy? Wisdom wrangler?
AMY DICKINSON, ADVICE COLUMNIST, CHICAGO TRIBUNE: Woo hoo!
PHILLIPS: Amy Dickinson in the house. She's taking over for Ann Landers' column in "The Chicago Tribune." No stranger to words. In her own right, she's also the relative of poet Emily Dickinson.
DICKINSON: Yes.
O'BRIEN: She could tell by looking at her feet.
PHILLIPS: Yes. She's a poet and doesn't even know it. Oh!
(CROSSTALK)
O'BRIEN: All right. Any way, Amy, good to have you with us.
DICKINSON: Thanks.
O'BRIEN: Just quickly before we get into some brass tax on advice, how has it gone so far? What have you found the biggest challenge?
DICKINSON: Well, you know, kind of keeping up with -- keeping up with the letters is pretty challenging and, you know, the question...
O'BRIEN: Wait a minute, you don't have -- you don't have staff to do this stuff?
PHILLIPS: She answers all the letters.
O'BRIEN: So you're, like, reading all this? DICKINSON: I'm reading all of this, opening -- physically opening envelopes and reading mail and reading e-mail and, you know, there's endless variety of stuff that's coming in. It kind of blows me away. it's pretty amazing.
O'BRIEN: Wow. It's got to be hard to select.
PHILLIPS: I was going to say, what has blown you away -- to this point, what's something that you've really you opened up and thought, Oh, my gosh.
DICKINSON: Well, I mean, I haven't had any, like, really -- ahh! -- shocking e-mail. I did run a letter from a guy who said he felt he'd been born the wrong gender...
O'BRIEN: Wow!
DICKINSON: ...and he didn't know what to do and he wanted to become transgendered and I felt very happy to pass on some advice for him and recommended a great book that I love on the topic for him to read.
O'BRIEN: Wow. You know what's different about Amy is she is -- what she admits is that she goes out and touches a bunch of other experts, which, you know, the previous generation of advice columns didn't necessarily say I was, you know, you're on the phone calling up...
PHILLIPS: They thought they were the experts.
O'BRIEN: Well, whatever, you know.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
O'BRIEN: We're not saying about anybody in particular.
All right. Let's talk about the general categories of questions she's been getting.
DICKINSON: Well, I've been hearing a lot about -- and you'll identify with this, Miles, I'm sure. A lot of questions from people about issues having to do with the workplace environment.
O'BRIEN: Ah, yes.
DICKINSON: You know, when you work in these big cattle pens, the way we do, people in close proximity to one another -- you know, proximity, it breeds contempt. What can I say?
O'BRIEN: What can you say? It's the Dilbert issue here, isn't it?
DICKINSON: Yes. Oh, yes.
O'BRIEN: All right. But let's show -- let's show these other categories too. And basically it boils down to all the important things from life. How can I get love? How can I keep love?
PHILLIPS: How can I confront someone over something unpleasant? Now this one I'm going to ask you -- why is my mother-in-law so much trouble? Can you answer that one for me please?
DICKINSON: Well what is it about in-laws that makes them perennial, you know, favorites? And -- and exactly, I think part of it is we don't feel -- we don't feel really obliged to get along with our in-laws because -- the way we do with our blood relatives because, you know, we're always thinking we can kind of get rid of them in some way.
O'BRIEN: Ah, yes.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
O'BRIEN: Yes. Yes. All right. Well, you know, this is only going to lead to trouble do I'm going to move on.
PHILLIPS: (UNINTELLIGIBLE) I'm not saying anything.
O'BRIEN: Yes. And you noticed how we stepped away from that one, Amy.
DICKINSON: Yes.
O'BRIEN: All right.
DICKINSON: Very deft.
O'BRIEN: How an anchor stays out of trouble here and we can give some advice on that.
All right. Here's a good letter which we wanted to share with you. You sent us a few of your favorites earlier.
"Dear Amy, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year-and-a-half, and the first six months of our relationship, he told me he loved me, but then following some sort of revelation on his part, he told me that he could no longer say that, due to some soul- searching 'who am i?' issues he was working out."
Do we have another page on this or is that basically it?
PHILLIPS: "How can I let him...
O'BRIEN: Oh there we go. No, that's it.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
O'BRIEN: So -- oh, here we are. "How can I let him figure things out in this relationship without feeling I'm sacrificing my needs and desires all the time? Or should I do what I don't want to do -- end the relationship, in order to stop feeling so sad about how I'm not getting what I want?"
Poor High Expectations is very confused. Now what do you -- how did you respond to this one?
DICKINSON: Well, I -- you know, I -- who hasn't heard that, Oh, I'm just -- I need to find myself. I don't know who I am. So in order to find myself I have to leave you. That's what this guy is saying to here and she, like, isn't sure what to do. I mean, she should know.
I think I suggested that she should get a cat. I said to her, if you want to be around a creature who is so mysterious that you have to guess how its feeling, why don't you get a cat?
O'BRIEN: Yes. Not a day. Because you know where a dog stands, but a cat...
DICKINSON: Oh, yes. No.
O'BRIEN: Yes. All right.
PHILLIPS: All right. Here's another one: "Dear Amy, my husband has two adult sisters that live with their parents. The younger one, 21, told us the older one, 25, is pregnant by approximately four months. Not being sure about the timing and stressing over his parents' reaction has caused my husband to be very moody. At what point do I or we have a right to say something to his sister or parents? Thank you for your opinion," Stressed.
Boy, I'd be stressed, too.
DICKINSON: Right. But here's kind of an in-law issue, in a way. I notice that she's writing the letter when my advice to her was to let her husband, the brother, deal with this. And I felt like he should deal with it and he should give her a call and check in and see what's going on.
O'BRIEN: All right. Excuse me.
PHILLIPS: He's getting a little choked up, Amy.
DICKINSON: My -- speaking of what's going on --
O'BRIEN: What do I do if I have a terrible cough and I have to anchor? All right.
We have a couple e-mails we got too from our loyal viewers here.
DICKINSON: OK.
O'BRIEN: Jason in Aspermont, Texas says this -- "Help." Just help. No. "My wife is seven months pregnant. Oh -- and we have a 12-month-old. On top of that my wife seems to be suffering from Post Partum Depression." Any tips on that one?
DICKINSON: Well, postpartum depression is potentially very, very serious and I give this husband credit for recognizing these changes.
O'BRIEN: The fact that he knows about it and is sensitive to it is good, right? Yes?
DICKINSON: Well, up to 80 percent of new mothers say they feel changes in their own attitude and behavior. But postpartum depression is very serious, and then there's something called postpartum psychosis that's very, very serious. And so what he needs to do is to help her get in touch with her doctor. She may not have mentioned these symptoms to her doctor and he should make sure her doctor is aware of this.
O'BRIEN: So maybe a therapist or somebody to talk this -- or maybe some medicines, potentially.
DICKINSON: Yes, well, her obstetrician should know and can make a referral. Yes.
O'BRIEN: OK. Good. I hoped that helped, Jason.
DICKINSON: Yes.
PHILLIPS: Charles wants to know, Amy : "It drives me crazy when people ask me when my wife and I are going to have kids. I think this is no one's business but ours. How do I answer this without being as rude as I think they are being?"
O'BRIEN: You get asked that all the time.
(CROSSTALK)
PHILLIPS: Miles drives me nuts, Amy.
O'BRIEN: I sort of laid off.
PHILLIPS: What should I say to Miles?
DICKINSON: You know what? There's such a -- there's a perfect answer for this. And you all -- you're in Atlanta. You know this. What do you do when somebody asks you a question that you don't want to answer you put your hand on their arm, and you say "Oh, that's so sweet of you to ask and then you change the subject." It's perfect.
O'BRIEN: Well that's -- that's easy.
PHILLIPS: I don't even have to answer.
DICKINSON: You say, "Oh, you're so sweet. How's the weather?"
PHILLIPS: You're so sweet. Where did you get that tie?
DICKINSON: You're so sweet.
O'BRIEN: It's kind of like the White House press briefing technique -- you know, thing.
DICKINSON: Exactly.
O'BRIEN: Press on with whatever you want to talk about besides what the reporter has asked.
DICKINSON: Yes.
PHILLIPS: Amy, you have a teenaged daughter, is that right?
DICKINSON: I do, yes.
PHILLIPS: So are you always advising her? Is she always coming to you, "Mom, I need some help."
DICKINSON: Not often enough, I would say. Actually...
PHILLIPS: She doesn't realize how cool mom is yet.
DICKINSON: You know, I actually called her today because I got a letter from a 14-year-old and I really wanted my daughter's point of view and she was very, very helpful.
O'BRIEN: Oh, good.
DICKINSON: So, yes.
O'BRIEN: Well, go, Emily. All right. Fantastic. Amy Dickinson, come back and visit, OK?
DICKINSON: Thanks, guy.
O'BRIEN: All right.
PHILLIPS: Thanks, Amy.
O'BRIEN: See ya.
TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com
