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Marriage and Work

Aired November 13, 2003 - 15:20   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: So how's your marriage doing? What if I told you that your co-workers can destroy your marriage and that divorce is almost as contagious as measles?
A Swedish study -- a Swedish study -- I'm not sure how this happened, but, nevertheless -- reported in today's "Wall Street Journal" suggests, if you don't work with your mate, there's a good chance you won't have one, especially if he or she works with people of the opposite sex. Now, according to this study -- and it's a study of U.S. workers -- it's always open season at the office, whether you're married or not.

The question is how to protect yourself. Working together in the same office reduces the risk for divorce by as much as 50 percent. That's married couples working together. We decided to talk with a couple who do that. We're taking the half-full approach on this story.

Cheryl and Michael Robertson have been married for 16 years. They have been working together for 10. They operate a small accounting firm outside of Atlanta.

And they get along famously, right?

CHERYL ROBERTSON, WORKS WITH HUSBAND: Most of the time.

O'BRIEN: Never a squabble in all that time, right?

Cheryl, how about you?

C. ROBERTSON: Yes, there is definitely squabbling. But, by the end of the day, we usually resolve it. I mean, I've tried to quit six times, and -- but he, fortunately, does not accept my letter of resignation on those bad days.

MICHAEL ROBERTSON, WORKS WITH WIFE: I keep it in the drawer, but I don't accept it.

C. ROBERTSON: He holds it over my head.

M. ROBERTSON: I pull it out whenever I need to.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: It's got to be hard, though, when an office conflict spills over into the household. And that's always the thing when you think about working with your spouse of the downside of it. Does that become an issue?

M. ROBERTSON: Not really, because what we've found is that we're going through the same things. It's not like she's got to come home and bring home all the baggage from a job that I don't know anything about and I've got to get reacquainted with all the players and her problems. We're dealing with the same problems. So we come home. We resolve them before we get home, try.

And it works out better. We know where we're coming from.

O'BRIEN: So you got a matching set of baggage, which is a good thing.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: All right, let's talk about the advantages are beyond that. Is it just basic togetherness. Even if it's the stress of being and working together, you're together, right?

C. ROBERTSON: Right. Right.

And we're together sometimes 24/7 with our business. And so, sometimes, that can be stressful. But I think the fact that we do get to talk during the day, go to lunch, have coffee together, we get face time more than other couples, I think.

O'BRIEN: I suppose you can nip a lot of little problems in the bud because of that constant attention. Of course, a lot of problems could come up as well. So which happens more?

M. ROBERTSON: Problem comes up more.

But they're resolved pretty quickly. I think we just understand what we're both dealing with, and so we don't have this outside baggage, I guess.

O'BRIEN: How much of this -- a cynical eye to this would be, how much of this is just you're able to keep an eye on each other?

C. ROBERTSON: Well, I did kind of read that study just a little bit and the thing about flirting in the office being a problem. Well, we get to flirt with each other. So that's a good thing.

O'BRIEN: That's a big positive.

C. ROBERTSON: It is a positive.

O'BRIEN: Let me ask you this. You have a few other employees, right? It's a small office. Is it good or bad for the people who are on the outside of the coupledom?

M. ROBERTSON: Sometimes, they know to just close the door and stay away, especially when the volume gets turned up. But I think, in one regard, we have got a single guy that is working with us. So down the road, he's looking to get married. And he sees how marriage is not all about marital bliss all the time. And so he sees conflicts are going to arise, but then that conflict can get resolved. And the faster it gets resolved, the better off all parties are.

O'BRIEN: So he's getting some good marriage counseling kind of just by watching?

(CROSSTALK)

C. ROBERTSON: Right, on-the-job training.

(CROSSTALK)

M. ROBERTSON: ... out of his check, I guess.

(CROSSTALK)

C. ROBERTSON: On-the-job training.

O'BRIEN: Well, who would you recommend this to and who would you say maybe this is not a good idea to?

C. ROBERTSON: The good thing is that we work in our own office, which I think makes it easier, rather than working in an office where you work for other people.

O'BRIEN: You're the bosses?

C. ROBERTSON: Right.

O'BRIEN: Big difference, right?

C. ROBERTSON: That is a big difference.

M. ROBERTSON: Very big.

C. ROBERTSON: I think self-employed makes a big difference.

O'BRIEN: Because, if one gets a promotion, the other doesn't, that kind of thing, there becomes a certain -- whether you like it or not, you start competing with your spouse, right?

C. ROBERTSON: Right.

M. ROBERTSON: Of course, we have that struggle with who's the boss as well.

C. ROBERTSON: We do have that struggle.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: My money's on Cheryl, knowing what I know about marriage.

(LAUGHTER)

M. ROBERTSON: Most of the time.

C. ROBERTSON: It's my way or my way. (LAUGHTER)

O'BRIEN: But you may say you're the boss, you really aren't.

M. ROBERTSON: Yes, right.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: All right, well, in any case, we're glad to hear you're doing well.

C. ROBERTSON: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: And I guess some folks out there should try it. Maybe some shouldn't. You've got to kind of really ask yourself some hard questions, don't you?

C. ROBERTSON: How long you can stand to be together during the day and take it home at night.

M. ROBERTSON: Sure.

O'BRIEN: I think some marriages thrive on time apart, too.

C. ROBERTSON: That's true.

O'BRIEN: So, anyway, it's not for everyone.

Michael and Cheryl Robertson, we wish you well in work and family endeavors in the future.

C. ROBERTSON: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: Thanks for dropping by.

(CROSSTALK)

C. ROBERTSON: Thank you very much.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired November 13, 2003 - 15:20   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: So how's your marriage doing? What if I told you that your co-workers can destroy your marriage and that divorce is almost as contagious as measles?
A Swedish study -- a Swedish study -- I'm not sure how this happened, but, nevertheless -- reported in today's "Wall Street Journal" suggests, if you don't work with your mate, there's a good chance you won't have one, especially if he or she works with people of the opposite sex. Now, according to this study -- and it's a study of U.S. workers -- it's always open season at the office, whether you're married or not.

The question is how to protect yourself. Working together in the same office reduces the risk for divorce by as much as 50 percent. That's married couples working together. We decided to talk with a couple who do that. We're taking the half-full approach on this story.

Cheryl and Michael Robertson have been married for 16 years. They have been working together for 10. They operate a small accounting firm outside of Atlanta.

And they get along famously, right?

CHERYL ROBERTSON, WORKS WITH HUSBAND: Most of the time.

O'BRIEN: Never a squabble in all that time, right?

Cheryl, how about you?

C. ROBERTSON: Yes, there is definitely squabbling. But, by the end of the day, we usually resolve it. I mean, I've tried to quit six times, and -- but he, fortunately, does not accept my letter of resignation on those bad days.

MICHAEL ROBERTSON, WORKS WITH WIFE: I keep it in the drawer, but I don't accept it.

C. ROBERTSON: He holds it over my head.

M. ROBERTSON: I pull it out whenever I need to.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: It's got to be hard, though, when an office conflict spills over into the household. And that's always the thing when you think about working with your spouse of the downside of it. Does that become an issue?

M. ROBERTSON: Not really, because what we've found is that we're going through the same things. It's not like she's got to come home and bring home all the baggage from a job that I don't know anything about and I've got to get reacquainted with all the players and her problems. We're dealing with the same problems. So we come home. We resolve them before we get home, try.

And it works out better. We know where we're coming from.

O'BRIEN: So you got a matching set of baggage, which is a good thing.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: All right, let's talk about the advantages are beyond that. Is it just basic togetherness. Even if it's the stress of being and working together, you're together, right?

C. ROBERTSON: Right. Right.

And we're together sometimes 24/7 with our business. And so, sometimes, that can be stressful. But I think the fact that we do get to talk during the day, go to lunch, have coffee together, we get face time more than other couples, I think.

O'BRIEN: I suppose you can nip a lot of little problems in the bud because of that constant attention. Of course, a lot of problems could come up as well. So which happens more?

M. ROBERTSON: Problem comes up more.

But they're resolved pretty quickly. I think we just understand what we're both dealing with, and so we don't have this outside baggage, I guess.

O'BRIEN: How much of this -- a cynical eye to this would be, how much of this is just you're able to keep an eye on each other?

C. ROBERTSON: Well, I did kind of read that study just a little bit and the thing about flirting in the office being a problem. Well, we get to flirt with each other. So that's a good thing.

O'BRIEN: That's a big positive.

C. ROBERTSON: It is a positive.

O'BRIEN: Let me ask you this. You have a few other employees, right? It's a small office. Is it good or bad for the people who are on the outside of the coupledom?

M. ROBERTSON: Sometimes, they know to just close the door and stay away, especially when the volume gets turned up. But I think, in one regard, we have got a single guy that is working with us. So down the road, he's looking to get married. And he sees how marriage is not all about marital bliss all the time. And so he sees conflicts are going to arise, but then that conflict can get resolved. And the faster it gets resolved, the better off all parties are.

O'BRIEN: So he's getting some good marriage counseling kind of just by watching?

(CROSSTALK)

C. ROBERTSON: Right, on-the-job training.

(CROSSTALK)

M. ROBERTSON: ... out of his check, I guess.

(CROSSTALK)

C. ROBERTSON: On-the-job training.

O'BRIEN: Well, who would you recommend this to and who would you say maybe this is not a good idea to?

C. ROBERTSON: The good thing is that we work in our own office, which I think makes it easier, rather than working in an office where you work for other people.

O'BRIEN: You're the bosses?

C. ROBERTSON: Right.

O'BRIEN: Big difference, right?

C. ROBERTSON: That is a big difference.

M. ROBERTSON: Very big.

C. ROBERTSON: I think self-employed makes a big difference.

O'BRIEN: Because, if one gets a promotion, the other doesn't, that kind of thing, there becomes a certain -- whether you like it or not, you start competing with your spouse, right?

C. ROBERTSON: Right.

M. ROBERTSON: Of course, we have that struggle with who's the boss as well.

C. ROBERTSON: We do have that struggle.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: My money's on Cheryl, knowing what I know about marriage.

(LAUGHTER)

M. ROBERTSON: Most of the time.

C. ROBERTSON: It's my way or my way. (LAUGHTER)

O'BRIEN: But you may say you're the boss, you really aren't.

M. ROBERTSON: Yes, right.

(CROSSTALK)

O'BRIEN: All right, well, in any case, we're glad to hear you're doing well.

C. ROBERTSON: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: And I guess some folks out there should try it. Maybe some shouldn't. You've got to kind of really ask yourself some hard questions, don't you?

C. ROBERTSON: How long you can stand to be together during the day and take it home at night.

M. ROBERTSON: Sure.

O'BRIEN: I think some marriages thrive on time apart, too.

C. ROBERTSON: That's true.

O'BRIEN: So, anyway, it's not for everyone.

Michael and Cheryl Robertson, we wish you well in work and family endeavors in the future.

C. ROBERTSON: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: Thanks for dropping by.

(CROSSTALK)

C. ROBERTSON: Thank you very much.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com