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Infidelity Online

Aired December 10, 2003 - 15:07   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: With so many people on the Internet now, romance can just be a mouse click away, and not just for singles.
CNN's Kathy Slobogin continues her series on marital infidelity with a sobering look at how chat rooms and e-mails are making adultery easy.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He was opening a Pandora's box. And by opening it, he got the taste and he got a flavor. And he liked that taste.

KATHY SLOBOGIN, CNN CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): Christine (ph), who asked that we not use her last name, says her marriage was destroyed by a computer, a marriage to a man she thought was perfect.

(on camera): What did you see in him?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Blue eyes. He had the prettiest blue eyes. He was 6 foot. He was thin. And he could dance. We're smearing cake all over each other.

SLOBOGIN (voice-over): Her husband sold real estate and installed a computer at home. At first, the hours online were reasonable. Then, she says, it changed.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It was getting worse and worse. He would spend longer times there. His personality would change. And I kept asking him, because I would see the e-mail addresses, and I said, what's in here? And he would change the subject. He didn't want me to even think about it. He goes, that's no big deal.

SLOBOGIN: She believed him, until the day she says she stumbled onto his other life.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My sister had sent me a picture of her on vacation. And so I downloaded the picture. And then I couldn't find it. And I said, OK, I've downloaded it somewhere. Where is it? So I started looking in the history. And I found pictures.

And it wasn't of my sister. They were pictures that he had downloaded of women, housewives. And they were so lewd and disgusting. They would make "Hustler" magazine look like Disney.

SLOBOGIN (on camera): When you saw what he was doing, what did you feel? UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Anger, hurt, betrayal.

DR. DAVID GREENFIELD, ONLINE INFIDELITY EXPERT: The Internet is a smorgasbord. You can find anything. And if you have a particular fantasy or desire or fetish, something that you've never even considered talking about with your spouse, you can find somebody that's into it online.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

SLOBOGIN: Christine is now divorced from her husband. CNN tried to get the husband's side of the story. He declined to speak with us.

But, apparently, more and more people are using the Internet to stray outside of marriage. People who track online dating services, which are supposed to be for singles, say fully half the visitors are actually married -- Kyra.

PHILLIPS: So, Kathy, a relationship that you have online, is that actually considered cheating?

SLOBOGIN: Well, a relationship that starts online can and often does end up being a relationship in the flesh.

And, even if it doesn't, people like Dr. Greenfield say that it can take time and energy away from your relationship with your spouse and drive a wedge in a marriage. In a recent survey of divorce attorneys, two-thirds of them said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces they handled.

PHILLIPS: Well, does cyber-cheating appeal to a particular kind of person?

SLOBOGIN: Dr. Greenfield, who specializes in treating addictions, says the Internet can suck in someone who otherwise isn't the type to cheat, maybe a person who would never go into a bar and pick somebody up, but who's comfortable sitting at home in front of a computer.

And on the Internet, you can be anyone you want to be. You can explore anything you want without leaving a trace. It's very seductive, especially for someone who's not comfortable with the usual pickup scene.

You asked about whether there's a particular type of person. One thing we've learned reporting on infidelity is that there isn't one type. It's a natural thing for human beings to be attracted to other people. So, tomorrow, we look at the biology of adultery. Is cheating in our genes?

PHILLIPS: Kathy Slobogin, pretty interesting stuff. Thank you.

Our series on infidelity will air in its entirety this Sunday on "CNN PRESENTS." You'll get Kathy's entire look at this then. We hope that you'll tune in at 8:00 p.m. Eastern.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com






Aired December 10, 2003 - 15:07   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: With so many people on the Internet now, romance can just be a mouse click away, and not just for singles.
CNN's Kathy Slobogin continues her series on marital infidelity with a sobering look at how chat rooms and e-mails are making adultery easy.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He was opening a Pandora's box. And by opening it, he got the taste and he got a flavor. And he liked that taste.

KATHY SLOBOGIN, CNN CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): Christine (ph), who asked that we not use her last name, says her marriage was destroyed by a computer, a marriage to a man she thought was perfect.

(on camera): What did you see in him?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Blue eyes. He had the prettiest blue eyes. He was 6 foot. He was thin. And he could dance. We're smearing cake all over each other.

SLOBOGIN (voice-over): Her husband sold real estate and installed a computer at home. At first, the hours online were reasonable. Then, she says, it changed.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It was getting worse and worse. He would spend longer times there. His personality would change. And I kept asking him, because I would see the e-mail addresses, and I said, what's in here? And he would change the subject. He didn't want me to even think about it. He goes, that's no big deal.

SLOBOGIN: She believed him, until the day she says she stumbled onto his other life.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My sister had sent me a picture of her on vacation. And so I downloaded the picture. And then I couldn't find it. And I said, OK, I've downloaded it somewhere. Where is it? So I started looking in the history. And I found pictures.

And it wasn't of my sister. They were pictures that he had downloaded of women, housewives. And they were so lewd and disgusting. They would make "Hustler" magazine look like Disney.

SLOBOGIN (on camera): When you saw what he was doing, what did you feel? UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Anger, hurt, betrayal.

DR. DAVID GREENFIELD, ONLINE INFIDELITY EXPERT: The Internet is a smorgasbord. You can find anything. And if you have a particular fantasy or desire or fetish, something that you've never even considered talking about with your spouse, you can find somebody that's into it online.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

SLOBOGIN: Christine is now divorced from her husband. CNN tried to get the husband's side of the story. He declined to speak with us.

But, apparently, more and more people are using the Internet to stray outside of marriage. People who track online dating services, which are supposed to be for singles, say fully half the visitors are actually married -- Kyra.

PHILLIPS: So, Kathy, a relationship that you have online, is that actually considered cheating?

SLOBOGIN: Well, a relationship that starts online can and often does end up being a relationship in the flesh.

And, even if it doesn't, people like Dr. Greenfield say that it can take time and energy away from your relationship with your spouse and drive a wedge in a marriage. In a recent survey of divorce attorneys, two-thirds of them said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces they handled.

PHILLIPS: Well, does cyber-cheating appeal to a particular kind of person?

SLOBOGIN: Dr. Greenfield, who specializes in treating addictions, says the Internet can suck in someone who otherwise isn't the type to cheat, maybe a person who would never go into a bar and pick somebody up, but who's comfortable sitting at home in front of a computer.

And on the Internet, you can be anyone you want to be. You can explore anything you want without leaving a trace. It's very seductive, especially for someone who's not comfortable with the usual pickup scene.

You asked about whether there's a particular type of person. One thing we've learned reporting on infidelity is that there isn't one type. It's a natural thing for human beings to be attracted to other people. So, tomorrow, we look at the biology of adultery. Is cheating in our genes?

PHILLIPS: Kathy Slobogin, pretty interesting stuff. Thank you.

Our series on infidelity will air in its entirety this Sunday on "CNN PRESENTS." You'll get Kathy's entire look at this then. We hope that you'll tune in at 8:00 p.m. Eastern.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com