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Keeping Children Safe

Aired February 05, 2004 - 15:11   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: The videotape of 11-year-old Carlie Brucia being led away by her abductor is chilling for most parents. How do we protect our kids without making them afraid to go outside?
Dr. Alvin Poussaint is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard University, noted in that field.

Dr. Poussaint, great pleasure to have you with us.

DR. ALVIN POUSSAINT, PSYCHIATRIST: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: I want to talk about what parents can do to protect themselves in this terrible eventuality in just a moment.

First, let's talk about the conversation that many parents are having to contend with in their household right now with their children and how they deal with this one, because this is all over our airwaves, everybody else's. One of the points that you bring out time and again is to kind of just observe their reaction.

What's the best way to do that? Because I know, in particular my son, he doesn't share with us a lot of this kind of thing. He's 11. And he is not out there emotionally. My daughter will talk about it.

POUSSAINT: Well, I think you have to know that your children are watching and getting the news, that they've heard about it.

And if they're not saying anything about it, you could open a conversation about what their reaction is to what happened to that young girl on the street and how is it going to affect them, see what response they have, get a sense of the amount of anxiety and worry that they have. And then I think it's an opportunity to open the whole subject of abductions of children and put it in some perspective, that, even though it happens and it gets a lot of news coverage, that it's relatively rare, so to speak.

That doesn't mean we don't have to be -- we still need to be cautious. But it's relatively rare. So it's not like they're going to get abducted the next day or this week, that they should be reassured that they're relatively safe and that there are things that they can do themselves to further protect themselves from being abducted, if that awful occasion should ever arise.

O'BRIEN: So, just to go back to your first point, though, we should not interpret silence on the part of our children as them not being aware and thus don't bring it up? In other words, be proactive? POUSSAINT: That's right. I would be proactive. I would assume that children have heard about this, particularly children over 6, have seen something on television. If they haven't seen it on television, they've heard something from their friends and peers at school.

So assume that they know about it and that they're, in some way, trying to process it inside and decide how to react. And, in most cases, it will be creating at least a little bit anxiety. It can't be totally ignored, because it affects them.

O'BRIEN: Well, and this leads us to our next point. You've talked a little bit about this already. Let's delve into this a little further, this whole idea of having a realistic conversation with your children.

The concern that most parents have, myself included, is, how far do you go? You're kind of walking this tightrope between making them safe and scaring them to a point where -- well, making them more scared than they need to be. Put it that way.

POUSSAINT: Well, that's the challenge.

I think you need teach them to be cautious, just like you teach a child to be cautious crossing the street. You give them certain rules when they're outside about strangers and being seduced by strangers into getting into cars or taking gifts and candy from them. They should reject all those kinds of approaches. And if a stranger approaches them and they feel very uncomfortable or afraid, they should move away, run away, if necessary.

And if they're touched or in any way grabbed, they should yell and scream and try to get help and run in the direction where there's people, where they can be further protected, not to run into an open field where they can be chased.

O'BRIEN: All right.

POUSSAINT: So I think all of those things are very useful, that they shouldn't be naive and just be totally trusting of everybody who walks up to them in the street. In fact, they shouldn't be.

O'BRIEN: All right.

Since time is elapsing, I want to do the last two items sort of together, giving age-specific advice and then having a balanced approach. And my question to you, as you think about this balanced approach, how do you know how much your child is capable of absorbing, depending on how old they are?

POUSSAINT: Well, I think, again, you would have to handle that individually.

I don't know you know until you begin to get into the conversation with them. There will be some kids who listen, and, in fact, have some sense of balance about it. There may be other children who hear the story on the news and actually have a bad dream or a nightmare about it. Then you know that that child is going to need more reassurance and will feel better with more information about how they can protect themselves.

So that -- you know, for instance, children should know that there's a 911 number that they can call if they're near a telephone, if they have a sell phone, that there's 911, and so that they feel that they can call for help in a very serious situation.

And then I think, with time, you know, you can't be afraid all the time. It will begin to fade. But I think, if they feel a bit empowered to protect themselves, it will lessen the amount of anxiety that they feel or the lack of control over the situation.

O'BRIEN: And that's the sort of counterintuitive point, but that is a point worth remembering, that, when you think you might be raising their anxiety level by empowering them, you might actually be making them feel better.

POUSSAINT: That's right.

Even with the Internet now, that's a way that a lot of these men usually can meet young people on the Internet. And, sometimes, the young people don't feel, because they've been talking to them on the Internet, don't see them as strangers, when, in fact, they are strangers.

So you have to caution your children and watch your children with regard to the Internet. They should never give out personal information or photographs to anyone as part of their protection.

O'BRIEN: All right.

And we ran out of time, but I just want to say it very quickly. One of the things that Dr. Poussaint suggested right before we went on the air is to get your children fingerprinted, make sure you have up- to-date I.D., recent photographs, and know their height and weight. That's a good thing for parents to have kind of always with them.

POUSSAINT: Right, information to give to law enforcement.

O'BRIEN: All right, Dr. Alvin Poussaint, always a pleasure having you with us. Thanks for the advice. We appreciate it.

POUSSAINT: Thank you.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired February 5, 2004 - 15:11   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: The videotape of 11-year-old Carlie Brucia being led away by her abductor is chilling for most parents. How do we protect our kids without making them afraid to go outside?
Dr. Alvin Poussaint is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard University, noted in that field.

Dr. Poussaint, great pleasure to have you with us.

DR. ALVIN POUSSAINT, PSYCHIATRIST: Thank you.

O'BRIEN: I want to talk about what parents can do to protect themselves in this terrible eventuality in just a moment.

First, let's talk about the conversation that many parents are having to contend with in their household right now with their children and how they deal with this one, because this is all over our airwaves, everybody else's. One of the points that you bring out time and again is to kind of just observe their reaction.

What's the best way to do that? Because I know, in particular my son, he doesn't share with us a lot of this kind of thing. He's 11. And he is not out there emotionally. My daughter will talk about it.

POUSSAINT: Well, I think you have to know that your children are watching and getting the news, that they've heard about it.

And if they're not saying anything about it, you could open a conversation about what their reaction is to what happened to that young girl on the street and how is it going to affect them, see what response they have, get a sense of the amount of anxiety and worry that they have. And then I think it's an opportunity to open the whole subject of abductions of children and put it in some perspective, that, even though it happens and it gets a lot of news coverage, that it's relatively rare, so to speak.

That doesn't mean we don't have to be -- we still need to be cautious. But it's relatively rare. So it's not like they're going to get abducted the next day or this week, that they should be reassured that they're relatively safe and that there are things that they can do themselves to further protect themselves from being abducted, if that awful occasion should ever arise.

O'BRIEN: So, just to go back to your first point, though, we should not interpret silence on the part of our children as them not being aware and thus don't bring it up? In other words, be proactive? POUSSAINT: That's right. I would be proactive. I would assume that children have heard about this, particularly children over 6, have seen something on television. If they haven't seen it on television, they've heard something from their friends and peers at school.

So assume that they know about it and that they're, in some way, trying to process it inside and decide how to react. And, in most cases, it will be creating at least a little bit anxiety. It can't be totally ignored, because it affects them.

O'BRIEN: Well, and this leads us to our next point. You've talked a little bit about this already. Let's delve into this a little further, this whole idea of having a realistic conversation with your children.

The concern that most parents have, myself included, is, how far do you go? You're kind of walking this tightrope between making them safe and scaring them to a point where -- well, making them more scared than they need to be. Put it that way.

POUSSAINT: Well, that's the challenge.

I think you need teach them to be cautious, just like you teach a child to be cautious crossing the street. You give them certain rules when they're outside about strangers and being seduced by strangers into getting into cars or taking gifts and candy from them. They should reject all those kinds of approaches. And if a stranger approaches them and they feel very uncomfortable or afraid, they should move away, run away, if necessary.

And if they're touched or in any way grabbed, they should yell and scream and try to get help and run in the direction where there's people, where they can be further protected, not to run into an open field where they can be chased.

O'BRIEN: All right.

POUSSAINT: So I think all of those things are very useful, that they shouldn't be naive and just be totally trusting of everybody who walks up to them in the street. In fact, they shouldn't be.

O'BRIEN: All right.

Since time is elapsing, I want to do the last two items sort of together, giving age-specific advice and then having a balanced approach. And my question to you, as you think about this balanced approach, how do you know how much your child is capable of absorbing, depending on how old they are?

POUSSAINT: Well, I think, again, you would have to handle that individually.

I don't know you know until you begin to get into the conversation with them. There will be some kids who listen, and, in fact, have some sense of balance about it. There may be other children who hear the story on the news and actually have a bad dream or a nightmare about it. Then you know that that child is going to need more reassurance and will feel better with more information about how they can protect themselves.

So that -- you know, for instance, children should know that there's a 911 number that they can call if they're near a telephone, if they have a sell phone, that there's 911, and so that they feel that they can call for help in a very serious situation.

And then I think, with time, you know, you can't be afraid all the time. It will begin to fade. But I think, if they feel a bit empowered to protect themselves, it will lessen the amount of anxiety that they feel or the lack of control over the situation.

O'BRIEN: And that's the sort of counterintuitive point, but that is a point worth remembering, that, when you think you might be raising their anxiety level by empowering them, you might actually be making them feel better.

POUSSAINT: That's right.

Even with the Internet now, that's a way that a lot of these men usually can meet young people on the Internet. And, sometimes, the young people don't feel, because they've been talking to them on the Internet, don't see them as strangers, when, in fact, they are strangers.

So you have to caution your children and watch your children with regard to the Internet. They should never give out personal information or photographs to anyone as part of their protection.

O'BRIEN: All right.

And we ran out of time, but I just want to say it very quickly. One of the things that Dr. Poussaint suggested right before we went on the air is to get your children fingerprinted, make sure you have up- to-date I.D., recent photographs, and know their height and weight. That's a good thing for parents to have kind of always with them.

POUSSAINT: Right, information to give to law enforcement.

O'BRIEN: All right, Dr. Alvin Poussaint, always a pleasure having you with us. Thanks for the advice. We appreciate it.

POUSSAINT: Thank you.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com