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American Morning

Reporter Has Personal Connection to Oklahoma City Bombing

Aired April 26, 2001 - 10:20   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: Our next guest is in a unique position. Carla Wade is a reporter who has covered many aspects of the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing. You see, her father also was one of the 168 people who died in that explosion. Well, now she plans to report on the execution of the man convicted of that crime, Timothy McVeigh. He is scheduled to die on May 16.

Carla Wade joins us now from Little Rock, Arkansas, where she is a news anchor for KATV.

How are you doing, Carla? Good to see you.,

CARLA WADE, KATV REPORTER: Good morning. It's good to see you, too. Thanks.

HARRIS: I've got to tell you, after I learned about this connection that you've got with this story, you became the one person that I had to talk to this week, and this is a rather unique situation to be in. How, it's got to be a difficult position to be in for you.

WADE: Yes, it's difficult in many ways, and it's difficult, I think, most because I've faced a lot of criticism recently by some of my peers in the industry who think that perhaps I should kind of stay away from doing this sort of thing and from some people that don't really understand why I would want to do it and they don't really understand that for me this really is a very cathartic process and, you know, if Timothy McVeigh were still on trial, for example, obviously it would be wrong for me to be there.

But I don't think that I'm doing anything that is considered a conflict of interest by being there at the execution and just reporting the goings on. And I'm at, my station is actually airing some stories that when I went back to Oklahoma City last month and talked to some other families and also kind of featured my own family and our experience.

HARRIS: Yeah, that is strange to hear people have that kind of complaint about it, but, and I'm wondering, were they concerned about you crusading on the air about this story or something, or what?

WADE: Well, it was a variety of things. Some people, as you mentioned, crusading on the air. I guess perhaps about the issue of capital punishment. Some people were afraid that I was going to break down on the air, I guess, maybe cry or perhaps make some sort of commentary. And, you know, that kind of bothered me because, you know, I consider myself to be a professional person and, you know, if I thought that there was any way that something like that was going to happen, there's obviously no way that I would go up there and obviously my station would not send me up there if they thought that I was the type of person to have that kind of reaction.

HARRIS: Well, you know, I'm sure that's how you would think going into it. But when you went up to cover the anniversary of it, I mean, did you change your mind about that? I know going into it you probably thought you'd be the rock, you know, you'd be strong about the whole thing. But once you got there it didn't soften you up any? There was not a moment where you thought maybe perhaps you would lose it?

WADE: No, actually, when I went back for the anniversary I guess it's been a week ago now, the hardest interview that I did was actually with my own mother. That was the most difficult interview. That was probably my closest to, you know, I guess "losing it." My eyes did tear up a bit. But, you know, she's my mom and we have, you know, a special connection and she's obviously still hurting in some aspects about the bombing. And so that was perhaps my most difficult.

But honestly, I don't think a lot of people realize the effect of being there with all those people who have, you know, the survivors and the families, you know, because we've kind of bonded throughout the years. You know, we see each other at these anniversary memorial commemorations and we've seen each other in Denver during the trial and, you know, some of us have even been in support groups with one another. And I can recall seeing the Denny children, you might be familiar with them, the two children that survived the blast and were in the day care.

HARRIS: Yes.

WADE: It just made me feel good to see them doing so well and looking so well. It really wasn't a time of sadness for me. It really, you know, it was good to see that people are moving on with their lives and that, you know, there's a little less pain that's evident.

HARRIS: Well, that's what I want to ask you about. You mentioned the cathartic effect that this has had on you. I'm interested in that because I would think that it would have the exact opposite. If you become steeped into this story and all the details of it and to see the useless waste and loss of life that was involved and knowing that your family was greatly touched by that, that didn't aggravate it for you? That actually made it easier for you to deal with this problem?

WADE: Actually, kind of. I mean I was a college student at the time of the bombing and I can recall, you know, being at home missing classes and the extensive media coverage and, you know, the waiting. We were one of the families that actually had to wait before my father's body was identified. In fact, Janet Reno, the president, all those people had come to Oklahoma City for a memorial and my family had refused to go. We just simply made a decision, because we felt like going would say that we had given up hope.

And I remember all those emotions, but as I told someone the other day, there are a lot of times where I stop myself and it's like I have to really think, you know, that really did happen. Because when you're going through it, you can't believe that it's actually real.

HARRIS: Yes.

WADE: And now I can actually kind of look back on it and really kind of sort through all those emotions that I went through and that's what I think has made me feel better. It doesn't make me feel as though I'm bringing up old hurts or whatever, because I think now I'm able to actually step away from it more so than I was then.

HARRIS: Well, let me ask you about this, because I understand you're going to be covering the execution as well. Are you going to be there at the site or are you going to be up in Oklahoma City?

WADE: I'm actually going to be in Terre Haute.

HARRIS: You're going to be in Terre -- you will be in Terre Haute?

WADE: Yes, I will.

HARRIS: You're not concerned then about all those emotions and all those feelings and the pains coming back once you get to that point?

WADE: Actually, at this point I'm more concerned about well, first of all, the fact that I've never covered an execution before, and this is obviously a very big one. Right now my mind has been focused on, you know, gosh, I've never actually done this and I want to do it right. And that has been one of my biggest concerns.

HARRIS: Well, let me ask you...

WADE: As far as the emotions coming back, I think this has been something that, you know, I've been dealing with this for six years and in the beginning, yes, there was a lot of pain and there was a lot of anger at Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols and what I felt that they had robbed me and my family of. But, you know, perhaps it's because I'm a Christian, perhaps it's because I have a supportive family and because I've always been blessed to work with really great people who have supported me that I've been able to honestly purge myself a lot of those feelings of bitterness and hatred. And so that now it's almost like it's just not a, it's not something that, you know, overwhelms me anymore.

HARRIS: Yes. Well, let me ask you one final question, because it occurs to me that you are in a most unique situation. You've been touched by this. You're a family member who deserves and has the right to be there and to actually see the execution actually take place. But you're also a reporter. You have this as a, this is a mission of yours. This is your life. Did you have any desire at all to report on the execution from that chamber and actually getting inside to see it and witness it and report it from there?

WADE: No. Actually, when I first talked to my bosses about doing this story, I said, you know, I don't mind perhaps, you know, going to Terre Haute or Oklahoma City, wherever you want, to kind of report on the execution and the events surrounding it. But I said, you know, I don't want to be in the death chamber and one reason is because I just don't feel right about witnessing someone die. That's just a personal thing with me.

And also because I am, I feel like this whole process for Timothy McVeigh, I mean, first of all, his attitude has been one of no remorse. And second of all, compared to the way so many people suffered and died in the building, you know, you remember the woman whose leg was amputated without anesthetic? My own father, both of his legs were broken, the back of his head blown off and, you know, I contrast that with Timothy McVeigh, who is going to be administered a shot and almost, you know -- gets a last meal, gets to say good-bye to his family, you know, gets to pray to whatever higher power that, you know, he deems important to himself. And, you know, those people, our fellow citizens, you know, that were in that building didn't get that opportunity.

HARRIS: Yeah.

WADE: And it's not fair, you know? Maybe it's justice but it's just not fair and I just, I think that that might bother me too much to be there at that point.

HARRIS: Yeah. Well, you've proven one thing, Carla Wade, you are a very, very brave lady and a very gracious one, too.

WADE: Thank you. Thank you so much.

HARRIS: I want to wish you the best of luck. It's been a pleasure to meet you and I really sincerely hope that this event helps you on a personal and professional level take your life to the next level.

WADE: Thank you. I hope so, too.

HARRIS: Good luck. I hope to talk to you later on.

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