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American Morning

Face of Depression

Aired December 31, 2002 - 08:41   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: The face of depression. It's an illness that strikes one adolescent in five, and it's also the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24 year-olds, and believe it or not, it even strikes beauty queens. Laura Lawless is Miss Arizona 2002. She started having symptoms of depression when she was only 13. Now, Dr. Gupta is out on vacation so Laura is going to join me here in the studio for our regular Paging Dr. Gupta segment. There you see Laura Lawless, Miss Arizona 2002. Good to see you. How are you?
LAURA LAWLESS, MISS ARIZONA 2002: Good to see you, too. Thank you for having me here.

HARRIS: I would not look at you, and not even read your story and look at you and think that you could be someone with depression.

LAWLESS: Absolutely. It defies the stereotypes about what mental health is. There's no one free or immune from the possibility of contracting these illnesses.

HARRIS: Now you said you had the first symptoms at age 13. Was there anything that caused the onset here? Was it just a gradual development, or what?

LAWLESS: No, one of the myths is that it has to be a reactive experience to something traumatic in your life. But new research is pointing to the fact that it's a biologically based illness. So I happened to develop the symptoms early in adolescence.

HARRIS: Then you actually were diagnosed, and you were on medication, so everything was working fine for a while.

LAWLESS: For a while, everything was going well. I was 17, first had a label, a name for what I was experiencing and treatment. And unfortunately, I did have a relapse when I was in college.

HARRIS: Now why did you have the relapse?

LAWLESS: I don't know. I tried to survive without medication. I tried to say, look, I've beaten this, I've beaten the odds, I'm going to go without medication.

HARRIS: Why did you decide that? If everything is going fine, why would you do something like that?

LAWLESS: There's such a stigma against mental health, and I didn't want to have a label against my name. I was worried about the potential for an employment discrimination, I was worried about what people's perception of me was going to be. So I tried to go without. And unfortunately, this time the experience is so much more severe than the first time around.

HARRIS: Severe, I think that's putting it mildly. As I put you actually committed -- listen to me, committed -- you made an attempt at committing suicide?

LAWLESS: It was something that really did contemplate very seriously. It seemed like the feasible option at the time, because I couldn't find any way around the suffering I was experiencing.

HARRIS: Really? What kind of suffering?

LAWLESS: Oh, the experience is just awful. I consider it like a perceived absence of hope. There was no reason for me to get out of bed in the morning. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't have the energy to get dressed in the morning. Taking five hours instead of five minutes to brush my teeth. Everything was so overwhelming to me. So I just avoided life in general, and soon it became an option that I end it all together.

HARRIS: What made you go back on the medication? Or who made you? Was it someone that made you do it?

LAWLESS: There were a lot of people who encouraged me at that point. On my own, I just couldn't see that there was a possibility. I couldn't even remember what it was like to be recovered. So it took the intervention of friends, roommates, relationships in my life, people who said, we value your life, even if you don't, and who dragged me to the treatment.

HARRIS: For anybody out there who might doubt the power of a medication and may have questions about the chemistry of the brain, here's what happens with you, you go back on the medication, you get into the pageantry and you compete, and you actually win on your last shot out.

LAWLESS: My last shot -- I just got in under the wire.

HARRIS: What did you feel like when that happened? That had to feel to you like such a redemption and such a feeling of accomplishment.

LAWLESS: It was. It was so overwhelming. And I'm look at the crowning now on the videotape. People ask me what was going through my head at that moment. It wasn't just the shock of winning, but to me, that crown was a symbol of having defeated this overwhelming obstacle in my life, and that I could be an example of hope to the millions of American teenagers out there struggling with depression.

HARRIS: As a matter of fact, you are doing it at a cost to yourself. Your not in law school this year, as you should be, and you are getting paid to go around the country and speaking out the way that you are.

LAWLESS: It's true. My position as Miss Arizona is very much like a tour of duty. It's a commitment to community service and to raising scholarships, although I was very well compensated, and the Miss America program is the leading provider of scholarships to women in the world. So I am armed with thousands of scholarship dollars to go back to law school in the fall and to complete my education in mental health and public policy.

HARRIS: Good for you. It's got to be really rewarding to tell your story to kids and get their reaction.

LAWLESS: It is. It's amazing. It's absolutely the best part of this job. It's not the ceremonial; it's the substantive. It's going into classrooms and speaking to kids and showing them there is a way out of the darkness. There is so much optimism, so much reason for hope, and then to share my stories with leaders in the research and mental health services field, and show them that on the face of illness, we have to break down the stigma and stereotypes about mental illness.

HARRIS: And you're still dealing with it everyday, you're still on medication, still seeing a specialist on this, or what?

LAWLESS: I do regularly still visit with a psychiatrist. I do see a therapist from time to time as needed, and I also know now if I do happen to go back on medication, it's not a sign of weakness, but strength.

HARRIS: There you go. Listen, whatever formula you're following right now, it's working for you.

LAWLESS: Thank you. Thank you so much.

HARRIS: Congratulations to you for getting to where you are right now, and all the best to you and happy New Year.

LAWLESS: Thank you, you, too.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired December 31, 2002 - 08:41   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: The face of depression. It's an illness that strikes one adolescent in five, and it's also the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24 year-olds, and believe it or not, it even strikes beauty queens. Laura Lawless is Miss Arizona 2002. She started having symptoms of depression when she was only 13. Now, Dr. Gupta is out on vacation so Laura is going to join me here in the studio for our regular Paging Dr. Gupta segment. There you see Laura Lawless, Miss Arizona 2002. Good to see you. How are you?
LAURA LAWLESS, MISS ARIZONA 2002: Good to see you, too. Thank you for having me here.

HARRIS: I would not look at you, and not even read your story and look at you and think that you could be someone with depression.

LAWLESS: Absolutely. It defies the stereotypes about what mental health is. There's no one free or immune from the possibility of contracting these illnesses.

HARRIS: Now you said you had the first symptoms at age 13. Was there anything that caused the onset here? Was it just a gradual development, or what?

LAWLESS: No, one of the myths is that it has to be a reactive experience to something traumatic in your life. But new research is pointing to the fact that it's a biologically based illness. So I happened to develop the symptoms early in adolescence.

HARRIS: Then you actually were diagnosed, and you were on medication, so everything was working fine for a while.

LAWLESS: For a while, everything was going well. I was 17, first had a label, a name for what I was experiencing and treatment. And unfortunately, I did have a relapse when I was in college.

HARRIS: Now why did you have the relapse?

LAWLESS: I don't know. I tried to survive without medication. I tried to say, look, I've beaten this, I've beaten the odds, I'm going to go without medication.

HARRIS: Why did you decide that? If everything is going fine, why would you do something like that?

LAWLESS: There's such a stigma against mental health, and I didn't want to have a label against my name. I was worried about the potential for an employment discrimination, I was worried about what people's perception of me was going to be. So I tried to go without. And unfortunately, this time the experience is so much more severe than the first time around.

HARRIS: Severe, I think that's putting it mildly. As I put you actually committed -- listen to me, committed -- you made an attempt at committing suicide?

LAWLESS: It was something that really did contemplate very seriously. It seemed like the feasible option at the time, because I couldn't find any way around the suffering I was experiencing.

HARRIS: Really? What kind of suffering?

LAWLESS: Oh, the experience is just awful. I consider it like a perceived absence of hope. There was no reason for me to get out of bed in the morning. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't have the energy to get dressed in the morning. Taking five hours instead of five minutes to brush my teeth. Everything was so overwhelming to me. So I just avoided life in general, and soon it became an option that I end it all together.

HARRIS: What made you go back on the medication? Or who made you? Was it someone that made you do it?

LAWLESS: There were a lot of people who encouraged me at that point. On my own, I just couldn't see that there was a possibility. I couldn't even remember what it was like to be recovered. So it took the intervention of friends, roommates, relationships in my life, people who said, we value your life, even if you don't, and who dragged me to the treatment.

HARRIS: For anybody out there who might doubt the power of a medication and may have questions about the chemistry of the brain, here's what happens with you, you go back on the medication, you get into the pageantry and you compete, and you actually win on your last shot out.

LAWLESS: My last shot -- I just got in under the wire.

HARRIS: What did you feel like when that happened? That had to feel to you like such a redemption and such a feeling of accomplishment.

LAWLESS: It was. It was so overwhelming. And I'm look at the crowning now on the videotape. People ask me what was going through my head at that moment. It wasn't just the shock of winning, but to me, that crown was a symbol of having defeated this overwhelming obstacle in my life, and that I could be an example of hope to the millions of American teenagers out there struggling with depression.

HARRIS: As a matter of fact, you are doing it at a cost to yourself. Your not in law school this year, as you should be, and you are getting paid to go around the country and speaking out the way that you are.

LAWLESS: It's true. My position as Miss Arizona is very much like a tour of duty. It's a commitment to community service and to raising scholarships, although I was very well compensated, and the Miss America program is the leading provider of scholarships to women in the world. So I am armed with thousands of scholarship dollars to go back to law school in the fall and to complete my education in mental health and public policy.

HARRIS: Good for you. It's got to be really rewarding to tell your story to kids and get their reaction.

LAWLESS: It is. It's amazing. It's absolutely the best part of this job. It's not the ceremonial; it's the substantive. It's going into classrooms and speaking to kids and showing them there is a way out of the darkness. There is so much optimism, so much reason for hope, and then to share my stories with leaders in the research and mental health services field, and show them that on the face of illness, we have to break down the stigma and stereotypes about mental illness.

HARRIS: And you're still dealing with it everyday, you're still on medication, still seeing a specialist on this, or what?

LAWLESS: I do regularly still visit with a psychiatrist. I do see a therapist from time to time as needed, and I also know now if I do happen to go back on medication, it's not a sign of weakness, but strength.

HARRIS: There you go. Listen, whatever formula you're following right now, it's working for you.

LAWLESS: Thank you. Thank you so much.

HARRIS: Congratulations to you for getting to where you are right now, and all the best to you and happy New Year.

LAWLESS: Thank you, you, too.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com