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American Morning

Interview With Lisa Bain

Aired August 26, 2003 - 09:48   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: It is almost back-to-school time and for older kids it's usually not such a big deal. But what about the younger ones who are likely to feel a range of emotions and anxieties? My nearly 3-year-old, Sophia -- there she is -- she's a little bit nervous. She heads off to preschool in September.
Earlier I sat down with Lisa Bain. She's the executive editor of "Parenting" magazine and asked what concerns children most have?

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

LISA BAIN, EXECUTIVE EDITOR, "PARENTING MAGAZINE": It's a total mystery to them. They have no idea what they're heading into. So what you want to do is take some of the mystery out of it for them. They have no idea what to expect.

So what you want to do is visit the school in advance, if you can. That's very important so that they can visualize, that's the red chair I'm going to be sitting in. There's where carpet is, where we'll have circle time.

The more you can explain about it, the better they'll feel.

O'BRIEN: We've been talking a lot about her teacher, whose name is Miss Mossa (ph). And we say, Oh, Miss Mossa's going to do this and Miss Mossa's going to do that. But we should physically go and walk through -- even do the walk to the school?

BAIN: If you can. That's anything that you can make it seem much more familiar to them.

Another thing is talk to her about what the routine of day will be. First, you're going to have free play and then you're going to have snack. And then when you sit on the carpet, the teacher will read you a story.

The more they understand, she'll feel calmer about it and she won't be as anxious.

O'BRIEN: The part I'm dreading, of course, is the good-bye. And actually because I'm working in the morning, my husband's going to handle it. So do you think the best strategy is to take a 3-year-old and say, you know, Daddy loves you. Bye. Leave.

BAIN: Actually, I'll tell you one thing that's very important that parents don't know is get their early because if they get there and all the kids are already playing and involved in activities, it's very hard for them to feel like an insider. So you want to get there a little bit early.

And you don't want to overstay. Don't run out the door, but get out of there in as smooth as possible as you can. If you make a big deal about good-byes, they're going to get very anxious.

O'BRIEN: When the kids are a little bit older, when they're starting to go into kindergarten that's when they head into a full day of school and that can bring it's own sort of traumas because by then they have much better understanding of what's it's going to be like. What are they worried about?

BAIN: Well they worry about the full day, first of all, because it seems like such a long stretch of time to them. So reassure them that the day is going to be broken up.

Another thing that they get nervous about is that for the first time they're probably going to be changing classrooms. They're going to be going to gym, they're going to be going to music and they think they're going to get lost.

So tell them they will not be going to these places on their own. The teacher will be taking them, all the kids are in the same boat. So let them know they're not going to be by themselves.

O'BRIEN: When they start to regress a little bit, as my nieces did, you know, in that sort of 6-year-old stage, do you baby them? Do you say, Yes, come here. You can sit on my lap, like a baby. You can drink, like, a bottle, or your little sister's bottle, like a baby. Or should you say, No, you know, you're a big kid. It's just kindergarten.

BAIN: I think a little bit of babying is fine. But at the same time, give them new responsibilities. You could say, You're a big kid now. I think that you could now stay up 15 minutes later. And if they feel older, they'll act a little older as well.

O'BRIEN: When you get to grade school, the kids are really worried about other things. In some way it seems likes at grade school the work of school really begins. It's not just play all day with broken up by snack time and nap time. So what are the kids worried about there?

BAIN: Well they worry a lot about the work load and will they be able to get it done? So one thing that you can help them do is get them organized. Go through the backpack each day. And you don't want to take it over for them. That's very important.

But sit down and say, you know, Let's do this thing first, and what do you think you should do second? Give them a little bit of control so that they can learn how to do the work themselves.

O'BRIEN: You've also said they worry about fitting in, they worry about being bullied. It seems like social issues are just huge at this age.

BAIN: It becomes so important. And you should never underestimate the importance to them of fitting in. If they really feel like a certain backpack is going to make them feel a little better, it's OK to indulge them to a certain extent because it's just important that they feel like they're part of the crowd.

It's annoying to parents, but actually it helps them.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

O'BRIEN: I feel a little better. Anyway, that's Lisa Bain. She's executive editor of "Parenting" magazine joining us with what kids are most concerned about.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired August 26, 2003 - 09:48   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: It is almost back-to-school time and for older kids it's usually not such a big deal. But what about the younger ones who are likely to feel a range of emotions and anxieties? My nearly 3-year-old, Sophia -- there she is -- she's a little bit nervous. She heads off to preschool in September.
Earlier I sat down with Lisa Bain. She's the executive editor of "Parenting" magazine and asked what concerns children most have?

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

LISA BAIN, EXECUTIVE EDITOR, "PARENTING MAGAZINE": It's a total mystery to them. They have no idea what they're heading into. So what you want to do is take some of the mystery out of it for them. They have no idea what to expect.

So what you want to do is visit the school in advance, if you can. That's very important so that they can visualize, that's the red chair I'm going to be sitting in. There's where carpet is, where we'll have circle time.

The more you can explain about it, the better they'll feel.

O'BRIEN: We've been talking a lot about her teacher, whose name is Miss Mossa (ph). And we say, Oh, Miss Mossa's going to do this and Miss Mossa's going to do that. But we should physically go and walk through -- even do the walk to the school?

BAIN: If you can. That's anything that you can make it seem much more familiar to them.

Another thing is talk to her about what the routine of day will be. First, you're going to have free play and then you're going to have snack. And then when you sit on the carpet, the teacher will read you a story.

The more they understand, she'll feel calmer about it and she won't be as anxious.

O'BRIEN: The part I'm dreading, of course, is the good-bye. And actually because I'm working in the morning, my husband's going to handle it. So do you think the best strategy is to take a 3-year-old and say, you know, Daddy loves you. Bye. Leave.

BAIN: Actually, I'll tell you one thing that's very important that parents don't know is get their early because if they get there and all the kids are already playing and involved in activities, it's very hard for them to feel like an insider. So you want to get there a little bit early.

And you don't want to overstay. Don't run out the door, but get out of there in as smooth as possible as you can. If you make a big deal about good-byes, they're going to get very anxious.

O'BRIEN: When the kids are a little bit older, when they're starting to go into kindergarten that's when they head into a full day of school and that can bring it's own sort of traumas because by then they have much better understanding of what's it's going to be like. What are they worried about?

BAIN: Well they worry about the full day, first of all, because it seems like such a long stretch of time to them. So reassure them that the day is going to be broken up.

Another thing that they get nervous about is that for the first time they're probably going to be changing classrooms. They're going to be going to gym, they're going to be going to music and they think they're going to get lost.

So tell them they will not be going to these places on their own. The teacher will be taking them, all the kids are in the same boat. So let them know they're not going to be by themselves.

O'BRIEN: When they start to regress a little bit, as my nieces did, you know, in that sort of 6-year-old stage, do you baby them? Do you say, Yes, come here. You can sit on my lap, like a baby. You can drink, like, a bottle, or your little sister's bottle, like a baby. Or should you say, No, you know, you're a big kid. It's just kindergarten.

BAIN: I think a little bit of babying is fine. But at the same time, give them new responsibilities. You could say, You're a big kid now. I think that you could now stay up 15 minutes later. And if they feel older, they'll act a little older as well.

O'BRIEN: When you get to grade school, the kids are really worried about other things. In some way it seems likes at grade school the work of school really begins. It's not just play all day with broken up by snack time and nap time. So what are the kids worried about there?

BAIN: Well they worry a lot about the work load and will they be able to get it done? So one thing that you can help them do is get them organized. Go through the backpack each day. And you don't want to take it over for them. That's very important.

But sit down and say, you know, Let's do this thing first, and what do you think you should do second? Give them a little bit of control so that they can learn how to do the work themselves.

O'BRIEN: You've also said they worry about fitting in, they worry about being bullied. It seems like social issues are just huge at this age.

BAIN: It becomes so important. And you should never underestimate the importance to them of fitting in. If they really feel like a certain backpack is going to make them feel a little better, it's OK to indulge them to a certain extent because it's just important that they feel like they're part of the crowd.

It's annoying to parents, but actually it helps them.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

O'BRIEN: I feel a little better. Anyway, that's Lisa Bain. She's executive editor of "Parenting" magazine joining us with what kids are most concerned about.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com