Return to Transcripts main page

American Morning

Interview With John Molloy

Aired September 24, 2003 - 09:43   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


CAROL COSTELLO, CNN ANCHOR: John Molloy would be the first to tell you he's no expert on dating or relationships. Research is his game and he's applying those skills now to the field of matrimony. His new book is all about helping would-be brides find Mr. Right. It's called "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others." Thanks for joining us, John.
JOHN MOLLOY, AUTHOR: My pleasure.

COSTELLO: Why did you write this book?

MOLLOY: Because the women researchers who with me insisted on it. I really didn't want to do the research on it.

COSTELLO: The women researchers who work for you insisted on it?

MOLLOY: They pushed me into it, beat me into it.

(LAUGHTER)

MOLLOY: And then I got interested in the subject.

COSTELLO: But you're a marketing guy. The last book you wrote was "Dress for Success."

MOLLOY: Same type of research.

COSTELLO: What research are we talking about?

MOLLOY: OK. The center of our research project was we spoke to 2,500 some-odd couples coming out of marriage license bureaus for a nine-year period. We asked them about their relationships and we asked about other relationships they had earlier that didn't work.

By the way, we separated the men and women and we signed an agreement with each saying we'd pay you $25 (UNINTELLIGIBLE) what you said to me. So we got the -- we found out exactly what was going on. And the book is based on those interviews plus...

COSTELLO: Well, what is going on?

MOLLOY: OK. No. 1, the biggest thing that's going on in America, I think, is successful women, well-educated, career minded, a lot of them are 45 and 50 and find themselves not married. And they made a conscious decision, I want a career. They knew what they were doing. But all of a sudden at 45, they regret it. And that's about 80 percent of them. COSTELLO: Eighty percent?

MOLLOY: About 80 percent who hit mid 40s and aren't married regret it. I know I shouldn't say it. By the way, 20 percent are as happy as blocks (ph).

COSTELLO: OK. Twenty percent though.

(CROSSTALK)

COSTELLO: ... let's get to the matters at hand. So how do these poor, lonely women get a man to marry them? You have some tips.

MOLLOY: OK, first of all, you make it sound like -- you don't go out in trap a fellow. That's not it.

COSTELLO: Well that's what your tip says (UNINTELLIGIBLE).

MOLLOY: Oh, no, no, no. My tips simply tell you about the -- this really is a book about what men are like and how they respond.

For example, if a woman insists on getting married -- if she doesn't insist on marrying, if they get to that point in the relationship where they're discussing it and he can put her off by saying, Oh, well next week. Don't upset me now. If she lets him get away with that nonsense, he walks.

COSTELLO: So you set a time limit? Do you say...

MOLLOY: About 18 months into a relationship, at that point, if you're into a relationship 18 months you should insist on it.

However if you're in three or four or five years those relationships often fall apart without marriage. And I thought the reason is men didn't want to get married. Not so. That's part of it.

Another reason is women want to get married, the fellow has put them off, they start getting angry and treating him poorly and the relationship falls apart.

(LAUGHTER)

MOLLOY: The women out there in those positions should read one chapter in my book, "Speaking About Marriage." You have to sell the idea to men.

COSTELLO: OK, let's read another tip that you have. Well, actually this is what you say is a fact. A majority of male college graduates between 28 and 33 are in their high commitment years and they're likely to propose. The older a man gets, let's say between the ages of 40 and 50, the less likely he is to propose. And will be a confirmed bachelor no matter what the woman does?

MOLLOY: No. Men marry at every age. I'm talking statistically. When a man hits 47, the chances that he will marry without knowing why fall dramatically. Before 47, they're much better then they are just after. When he hits about 38 the same things happens, the numbers drop off.

Men at certain -- in a relationship, by the way, we talk to these fellows at marriage license bureaus and we said did you (UNINTELLIGIBLE) go out with another woman that you were serious about? Yes. How long did you go out with her? Three, four, five years. At any time did you talk about marriage? Oh, yes, I seriously considered it, but she never brought it up so I didn't bring it and it fell apart.

Men never talk about, think about marriage, you have to bring it up. You can't leave it to them.

COSTELLO: It just seems like such an old-fashioned way of thinking to me.

MOLLOY: Well, the other thing -- one old-fashioned...

COSTELLO: A chauvinistic way of thinking to me.

MOLLOY: Most women I've spoken to say, I've given him hints. Talk to any married woman, she'll tell you, they don't get hints. Sledge hammer, boom!

COSTELLO: You hear that, Bill? Sledge hammer.

BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: Listening. Keep going.

(LAUGHTER)

MOLLOY: OK, John Molloy.

HEMMER: When is this segment over, by the way?

COSTELLO: See, they think like him, don't they?

MOLLOY: Yes, they do.

COSTELLO: John Molloy, many thanks. It was a lot of fun. We appreciate it. And hopefully people will go out and buy your book, listen to your tips and get married.

MOLLOY: Nine years of research should tell them something.

COSTELLO: OK, thanks so much.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired September 24, 2003 - 09:43   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
CAROL COSTELLO, CNN ANCHOR: John Molloy would be the first to tell you he's no expert on dating or relationships. Research is his game and he's applying those skills now to the field of matrimony. His new book is all about helping would-be brides find Mr. Right. It's called "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others." Thanks for joining us, John.
JOHN MOLLOY, AUTHOR: My pleasure.

COSTELLO: Why did you write this book?

MOLLOY: Because the women researchers who with me insisted on it. I really didn't want to do the research on it.

COSTELLO: The women researchers who work for you insisted on it?

MOLLOY: They pushed me into it, beat me into it.

(LAUGHTER)

MOLLOY: And then I got interested in the subject.

COSTELLO: But you're a marketing guy. The last book you wrote was "Dress for Success."

MOLLOY: Same type of research.

COSTELLO: What research are we talking about?

MOLLOY: OK. The center of our research project was we spoke to 2,500 some-odd couples coming out of marriage license bureaus for a nine-year period. We asked them about their relationships and we asked about other relationships they had earlier that didn't work.

By the way, we separated the men and women and we signed an agreement with each saying we'd pay you $25 (UNINTELLIGIBLE) what you said to me. So we got the -- we found out exactly what was going on. And the book is based on those interviews plus...

COSTELLO: Well, what is going on?

MOLLOY: OK. No. 1, the biggest thing that's going on in America, I think, is successful women, well-educated, career minded, a lot of them are 45 and 50 and find themselves not married. And they made a conscious decision, I want a career. They knew what they were doing. But all of a sudden at 45, they regret it. And that's about 80 percent of them. COSTELLO: Eighty percent?

MOLLOY: About 80 percent who hit mid 40s and aren't married regret it. I know I shouldn't say it. By the way, 20 percent are as happy as blocks (ph).

COSTELLO: OK. Twenty percent though.

(CROSSTALK)

COSTELLO: ... let's get to the matters at hand. So how do these poor, lonely women get a man to marry them? You have some tips.

MOLLOY: OK, first of all, you make it sound like -- you don't go out in trap a fellow. That's not it.

COSTELLO: Well that's what your tip says (UNINTELLIGIBLE).

MOLLOY: Oh, no, no, no. My tips simply tell you about the -- this really is a book about what men are like and how they respond.

For example, if a woman insists on getting married -- if she doesn't insist on marrying, if they get to that point in the relationship where they're discussing it and he can put her off by saying, Oh, well next week. Don't upset me now. If she lets him get away with that nonsense, he walks.

COSTELLO: So you set a time limit? Do you say...

MOLLOY: About 18 months into a relationship, at that point, if you're into a relationship 18 months you should insist on it.

However if you're in three or four or five years those relationships often fall apart without marriage. And I thought the reason is men didn't want to get married. Not so. That's part of it.

Another reason is women want to get married, the fellow has put them off, they start getting angry and treating him poorly and the relationship falls apart.

(LAUGHTER)

MOLLOY: The women out there in those positions should read one chapter in my book, "Speaking About Marriage." You have to sell the idea to men.

COSTELLO: OK, let's read another tip that you have. Well, actually this is what you say is a fact. A majority of male college graduates between 28 and 33 are in their high commitment years and they're likely to propose. The older a man gets, let's say between the ages of 40 and 50, the less likely he is to propose. And will be a confirmed bachelor no matter what the woman does?

MOLLOY: No. Men marry at every age. I'm talking statistically. When a man hits 47, the chances that he will marry without knowing why fall dramatically. Before 47, they're much better then they are just after. When he hits about 38 the same things happens, the numbers drop off.

Men at certain -- in a relationship, by the way, we talk to these fellows at marriage license bureaus and we said did you (UNINTELLIGIBLE) go out with another woman that you were serious about? Yes. How long did you go out with her? Three, four, five years. At any time did you talk about marriage? Oh, yes, I seriously considered it, but she never brought it up so I didn't bring it and it fell apart.

Men never talk about, think about marriage, you have to bring it up. You can't leave it to them.

COSTELLO: It just seems like such an old-fashioned way of thinking to me.

MOLLOY: Well, the other thing -- one old-fashioned...

COSTELLO: A chauvinistic way of thinking to me.

MOLLOY: Most women I've spoken to say, I've given him hints. Talk to any married woman, she'll tell you, they don't get hints. Sledge hammer, boom!

COSTELLO: You hear that, Bill? Sledge hammer.

BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: Listening. Keep going.

(LAUGHTER)

MOLLOY: OK, John Molloy.

HEMMER: When is this segment over, by the way?

COSTELLO: See, they think like him, don't they?

MOLLOY: Yes, they do.

COSTELLO: John Molloy, many thanks. It was a lot of fun. We appreciate it. And hopefully people will go out and buy your book, listen to your tips and get married.

MOLLOY: Nine years of research should tell them something.

COSTELLO: OK, thanks so much.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com