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American Morning

Art of Negotiation

Aired January 12, 2004 - 09:37   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: He is considered the dean of divorce lawyers, and decades of representing celebrity clients have taught Raoul Felder a thing or two about the art of negotiation. The wit and wisdom of the man who has been called "Doctor Estrange Love" on display now in a new book. It's called "Bare-Knuckle Negotiations: Savvy Tips and True Stories From the Master of Give and Take."
And Raoul Felder is here with us on AMERICAN MORNING.

Nice to see you. Good morning.

You have a number of suggestions here. I'll tick them off one by one -- make the person you're negotiating with you ally. In a friendly way?

RAOUL FELDER, DIVORCE ATTY.: Yes, in a friendly way. You make sure he's in the same canoe you are. And the easy way to do it is to aim toward some commonality of interest. For instance, everybody hates the IRS, but they want the benefits of citizenship. So you sit down with the other guy, say, look, we have to try to limit taxes, save taxes. Everybody wants to save taxes. So now you have a common goal. He's your buddy here. Or if a child is fighting about where they're going to school, you say, we have to get you in the best school. OK, two people working toward the same goal.

HEMMER: Find the common ground. Know the person negotiating with is No. 2 you can recommend. Today you can pretty much do that with all the technology out there.

FELDER: It's great today. When I started practicing, you couldn't do that. But today, you get it on the sites. You want to spend anywhere from $45 to $150, you find out everything about the guy. For instance, if you have a stock dispute and you go into arbitration, you could know everything about these arbitrators, what they've done in prior negotiations.

HEMMER: I think it's called google.com in fact.

Know more than the person you are negotiating with. And you tell a story about your son. How was he burned by this?

FELDER: You know, I was arguing with my son about what college he was going to. I made the fatal mistake, I violated that rule. He knew more about colleges than I did. So I was (UNINTELLIGIBLE), where he was talking common sense. So don't let it happen to you.

HEMMER: You got it, but that goes right into your next point, have a plan a, b and c.

FELDER: Nobody gets what they want in life. Too often, you see people if they don't get plan a, what they want, they fall to pieces. You got to be flexible. A, b, c, take from b to go to a. Be prepared.

HEMMER: I like the next one -- allow ample time for negotiations to happen.

FELDER: Yes.

HEMMER: There's a critical question in here, too. How much time is the right time?

FELDER: Well, every negotiation is different, but that's one of the things, allow ample time. Sometimes you want to cut down the time. If you want to have one point to make and you have an hour to do it, you want to waste 45 minutes so that you know at 15 minutes, you'll be able to zing it in there. Also, time is important in terms of what you're going to negotiate for. If you're negotiating where you're going to move, you better do that months in advance.

HEMMER: Yes, and the final item here, you say probably is the most valuable weapon. Be prepared to walk away.

FELDER: Yes. Robert Evans said the only way to make a deal In Hollywood is be prepared to blow it. A client of mine had many, many buildings (ph). He said, how did you get that way? He said, you know, I never wanted anything too much. There's a moral there. As long as you adhere to that, nobody will take advantage of you.

HEMMER: A couple more things here. Did you once have a piranha in your office as a way of intimidating clients you're negotiating with?

FELDER: Yes.

HEMMER: Feed them goldfish while the negotiations were under way?

FELDER: Yes. In a colorful youth, I had a piranha, and piranha's favorite food is gold fish. Throw him a gold fish, and it's very disquieting to hear that thing crunch on the goldfish, and then it burps afterward.

HEMMER: You describe as a colorful youth.

Did you once have a delivery man not deliver food because your opponent was a diabetic? Trying to weaken him?

FELDER: I wouldn't do that today. But, yes, we were having negotiations into the evening, and as the delivery man came with food, I would tip the guy and say, very good, let's take the food and leave it outside. This went on three times, until finally -- but you see, he violated a rule, too. He should have known...

HEMMER: Yes, but don't make me ask you question about ethics here, because you talk about that in your book also.

FELDER: Yes, but he should have known the limit limitations. It's a tough game. Would I have done it today? No. But in a colorful youth, I had done it, yes.

HEMMER: A colorful youth, we'll leave it at that.

FELDER: Thank you. Thank you, Bill.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired January 12, 2004 - 09:37   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: He is considered the dean of divorce lawyers, and decades of representing celebrity clients have taught Raoul Felder a thing or two about the art of negotiation. The wit and wisdom of the man who has been called "Doctor Estrange Love" on display now in a new book. It's called "Bare-Knuckle Negotiations: Savvy Tips and True Stories From the Master of Give and Take."
And Raoul Felder is here with us on AMERICAN MORNING.

Nice to see you. Good morning.

You have a number of suggestions here. I'll tick them off one by one -- make the person you're negotiating with you ally. In a friendly way?

RAOUL FELDER, DIVORCE ATTY.: Yes, in a friendly way. You make sure he's in the same canoe you are. And the easy way to do it is to aim toward some commonality of interest. For instance, everybody hates the IRS, but they want the benefits of citizenship. So you sit down with the other guy, say, look, we have to try to limit taxes, save taxes. Everybody wants to save taxes. So now you have a common goal. He's your buddy here. Or if a child is fighting about where they're going to school, you say, we have to get you in the best school. OK, two people working toward the same goal.

HEMMER: Find the common ground. Know the person negotiating with is No. 2 you can recommend. Today you can pretty much do that with all the technology out there.

FELDER: It's great today. When I started practicing, you couldn't do that. But today, you get it on the sites. You want to spend anywhere from $45 to $150, you find out everything about the guy. For instance, if you have a stock dispute and you go into arbitration, you could know everything about these arbitrators, what they've done in prior negotiations.

HEMMER: I think it's called google.com in fact.

Know more than the person you are negotiating with. And you tell a story about your son. How was he burned by this?

FELDER: You know, I was arguing with my son about what college he was going to. I made the fatal mistake, I violated that rule. He knew more about colleges than I did. So I was (UNINTELLIGIBLE), where he was talking common sense. So don't let it happen to you.

HEMMER: You got it, but that goes right into your next point, have a plan a, b and c.

FELDER: Nobody gets what they want in life. Too often, you see people if they don't get plan a, what they want, they fall to pieces. You got to be flexible. A, b, c, take from b to go to a. Be prepared.

HEMMER: I like the next one -- allow ample time for negotiations to happen.

FELDER: Yes.

HEMMER: There's a critical question in here, too. How much time is the right time?

FELDER: Well, every negotiation is different, but that's one of the things, allow ample time. Sometimes you want to cut down the time. If you want to have one point to make and you have an hour to do it, you want to waste 45 minutes so that you know at 15 minutes, you'll be able to zing it in there. Also, time is important in terms of what you're going to negotiate for. If you're negotiating where you're going to move, you better do that months in advance.

HEMMER: Yes, and the final item here, you say probably is the most valuable weapon. Be prepared to walk away.

FELDER: Yes. Robert Evans said the only way to make a deal In Hollywood is be prepared to blow it. A client of mine had many, many buildings (ph). He said, how did you get that way? He said, you know, I never wanted anything too much. There's a moral there. As long as you adhere to that, nobody will take advantage of you.

HEMMER: A couple more things here. Did you once have a piranha in your office as a way of intimidating clients you're negotiating with?

FELDER: Yes.

HEMMER: Feed them goldfish while the negotiations were under way?

FELDER: Yes. In a colorful youth, I had a piranha, and piranha's favorite food is gold fish. Throw him a gold fish, and it's very disquieting to hear that thing crunch on the goldfish, and then it burps afterward.

HEMMER: You describe as a colorful youth.

Did you once have a delivery man not deliver food because your opponent was a diabetic? Trying to weaken him?

FELDER: I wouldn't do that today. But, yes, we were having negotiations into the evening, and as the delivery man came with food, I would tip the guy and say, very good, let's take the food and leave it outside. This went on three times, until finally -- but you see, he violated a rule, too. He should have known...

HEMMER: Yes, but don't make me ask you question about ethics here, because you talk about that in your book also.

FELDER: Yes, but he should have known the limit limitations. It's a tough game. Would I have done it today? No. But in a colorful youth, I had done it, yes.

HEMMER: A colorful youth, we'll leave it at that.

FELDER: Thank you. Thank you, Bill.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com