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Showbiz Tonight

Former Inmate Tells SHOWBIZ TONIGHT What Paris Will Likely Face In Jail

Aired June 05, 2007 - 23:00   ET


A.J. HAMMER, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT ANCHOR: David Hasselhoff speaks about that infamous interview of him drunk. I`m A.J. Hammer in New York.
BROOKE ANDERSON, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT ANCHOR: Jerry Springer unplugged, The king of crazy daytime TV is right here. I`m Brooke Anderson in Hollywood. TV`s most provocative entertainment news show starts right now.

HAMMER: On SHOWBIZ TONIGHT, planet in peril. Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan both completely out of sight, in jail and in rehab. Somebody help us. Now what do we do? Tonight, two of Hollywood`s wildest girls under lock and key. What will become of the clubs. the paparazzi, the economy at large?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There`s definitely a void now in Hollywood of bad girls.


HAMMER: Tonight, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT presents the unthinkable, a world without Paris and Lindsay.

Excuses, excuses. There`s Paris, the old one drink, no food excuse. But she`s not the only one. From Paris`s sidekick Nicole Richie to Britney Spears, you`re not going to believe some of the stories these stars come up with to explain their mess ups. Tonight, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT reveals the worst celebrity excuses, like, ever.

Hello, I`m A.J. Hammer in New York.

ANDERSON: Hi there everyone. I`m Brooke Anderson in Hollywood. You`re not going to want to miss this. Tonight one of Hollywood`s most notorious former madams is revealing what life is like behind bars for Paris Hilton. And she is doing it right here in an interview you will see only on SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. We`ve got that coming up.

HAMMER: But first tonight, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT can now reveal that the tabloid equivalent of global warming has shaken our planet to its very core. I`ve got to ask, could this actually be the end of the world as we know it? Because tonight both Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are totally off the radar.

ANDERSON: Love them or hate them, I can tell you this, there is great consternation in the land of star-watchers, because everybody`s two favorite targets are in the celebrity equivalent of the witness protection program.


ANDERSON (voice-over): It`s a quiet time in Hollywood. Red carpets are emptier. The paparazzi are bored. And the streets are a little bit safer because two of Hollywood`s biggest headline makers, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, are, shall we say, indisposed.

TIA BROWN, "IN TOUCH WEEKLY": There are, in some sense, staples of American pop culture. Lindsay and Paris will definitely be sorely missed.

ANDERSON: Yes, indeed, they will be. Paris Hilton is in jail for an estimated three weeks and Lindsay Lohan is in rehab again after a DUI accident, leaving America without two of its most compelling conversation pieces.

DAVID CAPLAN, VH-1`S "BEST WEEK EVER": Right now there is a huge sense of panic among celeb watchers, because everyone is scratching their heads about what to do now that Lindsay and Paris aren`t around.

ANDERSON: That`s loss is even leaving "The View" at a loss. During a thoughtful discussion on politics and religion, Barbara Walters made this stunning and, dare I say, disturbing observation.

BARBARA WALTERS, "THE VIEW": We`ve gone through how many minutes now -- six minutes and we have not mentioned Paris Hilton?

ANDERSON: Yes, with Paris locked up and Lindsay drying up, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT is asking a troubling question: what are we going to do in a world without two of the baddest bad girls?

CAPLAN: Now that two of Hollywood`s biggest bad girls, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are off the scene, we`re going to go into withdrawal.

ANDERSON: It`s not that there`s a total Paris and Lindsay drought. Paris Hilton` jail sentence is still generating headlines and Lindsay Lohan`s people are out now, trying to image manage the fall-out after shocking and embarrassing photos showing the bad girl partying with knives last year became public.

But the sad fact is neither one of them is likely to regale us any time soon with fresh scandals or a new round of the questionable behavior we`ve come to expect from them.

CAPLAN: They drive so many of these stories that we love to read about and watch. Without them, who is going to start a fight at Hyde night club? Without them, who is going to steal the other`s boyfriends? We`re at such a loss right now with these two away.

ANDERSON: So, we`re left to get our fix by buying free Paris t-shirts or playing video games like this offering from In it, you help an imprisoned Paris make license plates under the watchful eye of a warden who, if you ask us, looks a little like Rosie O`Donnell, another former headline maker we haven`t seen much of since she fell from, um, view.

But we digress. Paris and Lindsay are out of the way and their accomplices like Nicole Richie, who has her own DUI troubles, and Britney Spears, who hasn`t embarrassed herself in a while now, appear to be laying low as well.

CAPLAN: There`s definitely a void now in Hollywood of bad girls.

ANDERSON: And that leaves SHOWBIZ TONIGHT to ask who will step up to fill Hollywood`s bad girl void? We have some ideas. Maybe Micha Barton (ph) can start getting her wild on. Or the Olsen Twins can reclaim their tabloid crown.

And in a world without Paris or Lindsay, it`s the perfect time for Dora the Explorer to explore her wild side.

Seriously, the world won`t be without these bad girls for much longer. With Paris Hilton`s expected 23 days in jail and Lindsay`s rehab stay expected to last at least 30 days, get this, both of them could be coming out and back in circulation in the same week. When that happens, there will be much rejoicing in tabloid land.

And maybe, just maybe, Lindsay and Paris will be in good places too.

BROWN: Both of them will gain a lot from this experience and, you know, hopefully come out better women.

ANDERSON: If they don`t come out better women, we`ll happily take the bad girls we`ve known and love to read about.


HAMMER: Well, with Paris in the slammer and as her lonely gadgetless days grow long, you would think that her face value would plummet, right? Not So. Paris has proven that she can profit off of practically nothing. So, imagine what she`ll be able to do with her jailbird image. How would she do it? And what does she have to do to maintain her sanity while in solitude?

To help us join figure that out, joining me tonight from Hollywood, investigative journalist Pat Lalama, in New York, former New York District Attorney Jeanine Pirro. Pat, Jeanine, it`s nice to see you both. Pat, let me start out with you.

We have to give Paris a little bit of the credit for the fact that she`s had this uncanny ability to make money by being famous for basically nothing. I have to imagine -- and I don`t know if you agree or not -- that jail is just another great opportunity for her to cash in.

PAT LALAMA, INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST: Lord, god, I hope not! I mean, look, obviously she has this uncanny ability, as you say. But I`m going to go one step further, A.J., and I`m going to say, we, as a society, are the ones who have bought into it. As I told Sandy, your lovely associate producer on the phone today, for heaven`s sake, blame society.

I don`t want to denigrate this young woman. I think she has decent qualities to her. But she can`t sing. All her movies go straight to video.

HAMMER: But pat --

LALAMA: Wait, she`s famous for having sex on tape. And yet we`re worshipping at this woman`s altar. She`s like a national treasure. I don`t get it!

HAMMER: OK, but bottom line, the question I asked, is she going to make some big bucks when she gets out of jail?

LALAMA: OK, I`m sorry, I went off on the tangent, but the bottom line is yes, because we as a society will want to buy the Paris prison jump suit and the Paris prison essence of whatever, essence of baloney sandwich. Yes, we will buy it.

HAMMER: Essence of Paris in the pokey. Jeanine, you were a long-time district attorney. You have certainly seen your fair share of criminals who have capitalized on their infamy. It happens all the time. But just because you can do it, it doesn`t make it right, does it?

JEANINE PIRRO, FORMER NEW YORK DISTRICT ATTORNEY: You know, A.J., I`ve not only been the D.A., I`ve also been the county judge, and let me say right off the bat that the sentence of Paris Hilton will send a message to young people that, you know what, it is illegal to violate court orders and probation and to drive while you`re under the influence. But to answer your question directly, A.J., this woman made money off of a sex tape. And she will clearly make money off of this situation.

HAMMER: But as somebody who was a judge in the court, does it make you mad that she`ll profit this way?

PIRRO: No, because you know what? It makes me mad if someone tries to profit off a crime and that`s why we have the Son of Sam Law, where you can`t profit off of your revelations regarding the crime itself. But if she can learn something from this, A.J., if she can be introspective, as she will have to be in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day, maybe she can send a message to our kids.

Maybe the judge in sentencing her -- and part of sentencing is deterrence, deterring other people from committing the crime, she might be able to finally do some good and make money.

HAMMER: I love having positive people on the show, Jeanine. You know, she is going to have a lot of time to be as contemplative as she wants. Her lawyer, Richard Hutton, held a little press conference because everybody wants to know how Paris is holding up. Here`s what the lawyer said.


RICHARD HUTTON, ATTORNEY FOR PARIS HILTON: I met with Paris this morning. She`s doing very well under the circumstances. The staff here has reported that she has been gracious, polite, thankful for their help with her.


HAMMER: Oh, good, polite and thankful. Now, Pat, right here, Richard Hutten was just talking about that first day in that eight by 12 cell with no make-up, no fancy clothes. What is Paris going to have to do to maintain her sanity in there?

LALAMA: I`ll tell you something. I know what she has to do if she wants to survive. She needs to take this time to think about her future. This is a very cruel society, A.J., particularly in Hollywood. What is she, 26? She only has a few more years to go because she doesn`t really have any substance to offer to society, in terms of she`s not rocking crack babies or speaking to students, something that she can take with her.

She has very little time left to make a mark that isn`t negative. Because I want to have you think of me like you do Jeanine, as a positive person; I`m going to say that I think she can take this time and start thinking about her future. What will I do? I want to go to high schools where girls worship me, talk to them.

HAMMER: I don`t mean to interpret, Pat. I want to get Jeanine in here, because she has said going in that she does want to change her ways and become a better person. Jeanine, you`ve seen criminals go into jail all the time saying exactly that. How often is that a reality?

PIRRO: Well, you know, it depends on the person. It depends on the crime. I think that Pat is right. She has a tremendous opportunity here to do something good for society. Prison will change her. By the way, she better be humble and she better be kind. Because even though she`s in jail, she`s still out one hour a day and all she needs is someone to start a fight with her and then she`s going to have real problems.

HAMMER: Well, it`s been said on this show right now, she`ll get her butt kicked. Got to wrap it up there. Jeanine Pirro, Pat Lalama, thanks so much.

ANDERSON: So, A.J., what do you think Paris is doing right now in jail?

HAMMER: Probably trying to turn a plastic spork into a nail file to get out of there.

ANDERSON: All right, well you think she`s being creative. I think she`s probably fighting boredom. But we`re going to get the inside story of what life is like for Paris right now from a former Hollywood madam who served time in a very similar situation. That`s at 31 minutes past the hour. Also this.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tell me you`re going to stop.

DAVID HASSELHOFF, ACTOR: I`m going to stop.




HAMMER: Still a hard video to see with David Hasselhoff slurring all over the place. He`s speaking out for the first time on TV about that tape. We`ll show you what he has to say next.

ANDERSON: and Hasselhoff`s co star on "America`s Got Talent" is here. The one, the only Jerry Springer. We`re going to find out what it was like at work after that tape got out. Still ahead.


ANDERSON: Welcome back to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT, TV`s most provocative entertainment news show. I`m Brooke Anderson in Hollywood. David Hasselhoff is speaking out for the first time on TV about that now infamous videotape obtained by Extra of him drunk and incoherent.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tell me you`re going to stop.

HASSELHOFF: I`m going to stop.




ANDERSON: So disturbing. Hasselhoff has been battled alcoholism for years and he says he asked his daughter to tape him if he relapsed. On "The Today Show" he told Ann Curry, it was one of those private moments that everybody has that they don`t want to share with the world. But in retrospect, he`s trying to see the positive in it.


HASSELHOFF: For me it was actually a good sign, because it was a wake-up call and it kind of brought everything to a head. And finally I said, look, this has all got to stop. Not just about the drinking, but just about the press and the publicity and all that. It`s got to stop. And, you know, the real victims here for me are my children, you know. I`m trying to keep them out of the of the press.

We just want to go to work, and go to the beach and do "America`s Got Talent." That`s really kind of what I can`t really talk about. Because we`re still in court and I respect the judge and the judge said please don`t talk about any of this until we get orders.


HAMMER: David Hasselhoff is going to be joined by some new faces on "America`s Got Talent," which is kicking off its news season. And there`s a new host in town too, the great Jerry Springer. He`s known throughout the world for that chant. All right. The "Jerry Springer Show" is going into its 18th season.

He has seen and heard it all and now he gets to see if "America`s Got Talent." Jerry Springer, a pleasure to welcome you to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT.

JERRY SPRINGER, "AMERICA`S GOT TALENT": It`s very nice to be here. It`s very nice to be here. And, please, sit down.

HAMMER: Everybody can`t resist. I`m sure you walk down the city streets and people start chanting.

SPRINGER: To be honest with you, I have it with my alarm clock in the morning. I have the -- Jerry gets me up in the morning.

HAMMER: It`s a little narcissistic. But OK, I`m sure it is. We were just watching David Hasselhoff, who obviously you`ve been working with now on "America`s Got Talent." A tough situation that he`s been in. It has to have been, I imagine, at least a little bit awkward when you guys are working on your show, "America`s Got Talent," and that tape came out in such a public way.

Was it odd around the set at that time?

SPRINGER: Actually not. I`ll say why. Because it`s his private life and it was just a general rule, if he wanted to talk about it with us, he would. And if not, I`m not going to ask him any questions. It`s not my business.

He`s there to do a show. I`m there to do a show. And people need to keep their private lives separate from their professional lives.

HAMMER: Obviously a lot has been made of it and a lot has been said of him. I like David. I`ve worked a few times with him in the past and he always seems very genuine. How is he doing as somebody who`s kind of gotten to know him now a little better? How is he doing? How is he handling this whole situation?

SPRINGER: I never -- I didn`t know him prior to the show. I knew who he was, but I had never met him. He seemed like a really nice guy and he`s exactly what you expect -- he`s the Hoff.

HAMMER: He`s the Hoff. Don`t hassle the Hoff.

SPRINGER: I walk down the hallway and say the Hoff. It`s always the Hoff.

HAMMER: You can`t call him Dave or Hoff? It`s the Hoff?

SPRINGER: He`s a nice guy. He`s been very nice to me. I wish him well.

HAMMER: I`ve got to ask you about something going on with "America`s Got Talent," because if I didn`t know any better, I would think, Jerry, there`s some kind of curse associated with it. Let me show you where I`m going with this.

Of course, you have the situation with David Hasselhoff, as I said, a tough situation. Brandy, of course, one of the judges last season. She got in a terrible car accident. Somebody was killed. She`s no longer on the show. You came in and you replaced the great Regis Philbin. He had triple bypass surgery. Jerry, isn`t it all a little scary?

Do you feel like maybe you see how curses get associated with movies and shows?

SPRINGER: All of a sudden you`re scaring me.

HAMMER: I didn`t mean to freak you out or anything.

SPRINGER: No, look, it`s life. You know, celebrities and being in show business or whatever are not immune from the realities of life. This is just an example of, you know, you can have all the publicists you want and you can send out all the releases you want; the reality is we`re all exactly alike. It`s just that some of us do our jobs in front of a lot of people.

So because you`re a celebrity does not mean you`re immune from the punches in the nose that life gives you.

HAMMER: No, and of course it`s under a big magnifying glass when you`re a public figure.

SPRINGER: Of course, I`m not replacing Regis, in all fairness. He`s the best there ever was at this. Nobody replaces him. I`m the host. I`m going to do it the way I do it. But I`m not pretending that I could ever be a Regis.

HAMMER: You`ve logged almost as many TV hours as Regis Philbin. Is the "Jerry Springer Show" going into the 18th season? Is that right?

SPRINGER: Yes, and I`m sorry.

HAMMER: All right, but no, you`re sorry what, for the paternity battles, for the cheating spouses, the family feuds? Look, Jerry, that is exactly what`s going on in Hollywood right now. Of all the train wrecks in Hollywood, if you could have one of those particular individuals on your show to have at them, which would it be?

SPRINGER: I know this runs counter to the image, but the truth is we never have celebrities on our show. In other words, to be on our show, the rules, according to universal NBC, it has to be outrageous, it has to be truthful and you can`t be known. In other words, the people that come on our show even use fake names because they don`t want to reveal their real identity.

So, I would never have a celebrity on the show. It would ruin it.

HAMMER: So You have the outrageousness through the real people, just like the outrageousness we`re seeing through the audition process now on "America`s Got Talent." You really have to be a little crazy outrageous to get on that show.

SPRINGER: Well, there`s some that you would -- there`s some that you would think are -- what are they doing?


SPRINGER: But, in all fairness, there are a few on the show that -- and the ones that move on to the next level -- that are excellent.

HAMMER: You see some real talent. Jerry, I`ve got to stop it there because I`m out of time. Thank you so much for stopping by.

SPRINGER: Thanks for having me.

HAMMER: Appreciate it. "America`s Got Talent" with Jerry Springer Tuesday nights on NBC.

ANDERSON: All right, A.J., it`s been a few minutes since I asked you this, what do you think Paris is doing right now?

HAMMER: I don`t know. She`s got that song "Stars Are Blind," maybe she`s playing it on the harmonic.

ANDERSON: I don`t know if she can play an instrument. But it`s a lovely thought. Anyway, we`re going to get the inside story of what life is like for Paris right now from a former Hollywood madam who served time in a similar jail. That`s at 31 minutes past the hour.

Also this --



UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you mind? I`m trying to score some weed. God! There`s this guy in a robe and he`s being a total --


HAMMER: The new outrageous new cartoon of Paris` jail saga. It`s called the Shaw-Skank Redemption. It`s hilarious. You`ll see for yourself coming up next.

ANDERSON: And remember when Paris used the one drink excuse when she got arrested for DUI, well that`s just the tip of the iceberg. The worst celebrity excuses ever. We`ve got them straight ahead.


ANDERSON: Well, the people at Current TV, the cable network co- founded by Al Gore, are having some fun at Paris Hilton`s expense. They`ve come up with a hilarious parody called the Shaw-Skank Redemption. Take a look.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You strike me as an icy and remorseless socialite, Miss Hilton. It chills my blood to look at you.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: By the power vested in me by the state of California, I hereby sentence you to no less than 23 days in Los Angeles county jail. So be it.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you mind? I`m trying to score some weed. God! There`s this guy in a robe. He`s being a total (EXPLETIVE DELETED).

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`ve been incarcerated in Shah-Skank Prison for going on 30 years. I don`t know how you get 30 years in a ladies` jail for unpaid parking tickets, but I`m sure it will eventually work itself out. There must be a con like me in every prison in America, you know, old, noble, constantly narrating things in my head and always willing to help out a white person.

So, when Paris Hilton came to me in the spring of 2007 and asked if I could get her some peach flavored astro glide, I told her, no problem.


ANDERSON: Geez, all right. For more of the Shah-Skank Redemption check out the super new segment on the cable network Current TV. Speaking of Paris, A.J., I really wonder what she`s doing behind bars now that she`s safely in there. We`ll get the inside story next -- listen to this -- from a former madam who served time in a similar jail. She has got some stories. That`s next.

Also this --


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When the rest of us mess up, we`re like I messed up.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I`m like, you know what, my bad. Celebrities are like, no, no, no.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, this is not my fault.


HAMMER: Excuses, excuses. I wasn`t buying it when Paris gave the one drink, no food DUI excuse and I`m not buying the other stars` spin either. We`ve got the worst celebrity excuses ever coming up.

ANDERSON: And I love this guy. Ross the Intern is here. We`re going to ask him about his stunning weight loss on "Celebrity Fit Club" and the new project he`s working on with Rosie O`Donnell.



HAMMER: Welcome back to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. It`s 30 minutes past the hour. I`m A.J. Hammer in New York.

ANDERSON: And I`m Brooke Anderson in Hollywood. You`re watching TV`s most provocative entertainment news show.

So, A.J., question for you.


ANDERSON: When you were in school, and you forgot to do your homework -- you probably rarely ever forgot to do your homework. Did you ever tell your teacher "my dog ate it?"

HAMMER: Well, my dog did eat it.

ANDERSON: Oh, Seven did?


ANDERSON: Oh, you blamed the dog. All right, well, and you know the stars, A.J., they, too, love to point the finger.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When the rest of us mess up, we`re just like I messed up.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah, I`m like, you know what, my bad. Celebrities are like, no, no, no, I need an excuse.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, no, this is not my fault.


ANDERSON: Straight ahead, I`ve got the lamest, the most pathetic celebrity excuses ever. And I know you never did that, A.J.

HAMMER: You know, "The Tonight`s Show" Ross, The Intern? He`s a really funny guy and he makes absolutely no excuses for his outrageous, totally over the top celebrity questions. We love Ross. Tonight a whole lot less of Ross to love, but he`s still there. We`ve got his amazing weight loss story. Plus, is he actually, really working on a TV show with his buddy, Rosie O`Donnell? Ross will set the record straight right here, with me, in just a moment on SHOWBIZ TONIGHT.

But first, I have to get you all caught up on how Paris Hilton is doing, day two of her 45-day sentence in a Los Angeles county jail. And the Paris publicity train doesn`t show any signs of slowing down. Her lawyer, Richard Hutton, held a press conference -- yes, a press conference to say, quote, "She`s using this time to reflect on her life, to see what she can do to make the world better. And hopefully, in my opinion, to change the attitudes that exist about her among many people."

Can`t imagine who he`s talking about. Paris Hilton, now officially on a mission to bring peace to the world.

ANDERSON: Oh, I`m so sure, A.J. So, I want to know, what`s the view from the cell like for Paris? Will she be able to do her hair, shave her legs, talk on the phone? Well, Jody "Babydol" Gibson has been there. She operated an exclusive escort service for the rich and famous and says she serviced big time Hollywood a-listers before her arrest in 2000.

Just like Paris Hilton, because of her notoriety when she was arrested, Jody Gibson was kept in an isolated cell in an L.A. jail just like the one Paris is in.

Jody tells her story in her book, "Secrets Of A Hollywood Super Madam," and she joins me tonight from Hollywood.

You`ve been there. You served, what, two and a half months in the same situation in isolation. Give us a sense what that was like for you and what it`s like for Paris.

JODY "BABYDOL" GIBSON: Well, it`s going to be the same for anybody. There`s no manual that you can read that prepares you for how to do time. You receive a little paper bag that you`re given a toothbrush, toothpaste, bar of soap, pencil, a piece of paper. That`s it.

Next week, she can shop. Maybe she`ll buy a little bit more paper. But, really, there`s nothing to do but sleep and think, and how to wile away the days. It`s really quite a challenge, doing time.

ANDERSON: So, pretty uneventful, which Paris is not accustomed to. And, Jody, you`ve told us that your appearance really suffered when you were in jail. As we all know, Paris is obsessed with her appearance. I mean, come on. Let`s take a look at her mug shot. Charles, do we have that? Bring it up. Prettiest mug shot I`ve ever seen. Is the fact that you can`t care for your appearance one of the worst parts?

GIBSON: It`s very difficult on a woman. I will tell you, that is the least of your problems, though, your first few weeks there. You`re sleeping on a steel shelf. The fluorescent lights are giving you massive headaches.

But as a woman, you can`t shave. You can`t tweeze. There`s no hair dye. You`re given a comb. There`s not even a hairbrush. There`s no curling iron. But, again, that`s really the least of your problems, because you`re in solitary confinement.

The greatest challenge is what to do with all the time. You can`t receive anything to read unless it comes via subscription and it has to come from the subscriber in a plastic container with the label on it. That takes four to six weeks to initiate. Because she`s there 23 days there won`t be time for that. There`s nothing to read. There`s no television.

And it`s a give and take with the guards, meaning if she doesn`t give the guards too hard a time, and they`re not too abusive, which they can be very abusive, they may or may not give her, her hour out. She is in lockdown for 23 hours a day.

ANDERSON: So, they could punish her? I was going to ask you if you think they might give her special treatment. But you`re saying the guards could abuse the power that they have over high-profile people sometimes?

GIBSON: They do. They do. You know, what kind of mentality is it to have a job like that, to get up in the morning and go to work at a jail? It takes a certain kind of individual and they enjoy the abuse, the guards.

ANDERSON: Well, obviously, you didn`t have a very good experience with the guards, Jody. And you know, Paris has talked about how this experience is going to change her. But from your perspective, is being behind bars a life-changing experience or are you just counting the days until you can get the heck out of there?

GIBSON: No. It is a definite life-altering experience. It does humble you. She will give a lot of thought to ever drinking and driving again. My guess is she will get a driver. The three most important words: Get a driver. I don`t think we`ll see her drinking and driving again after this.

ANDERSON: Very quickly, Jody, what was the most humiliating thing that happened to you, that you think maybe Paris could be subjected to?

GIBSON: She will be subjected to it. She`ll be given a mop and laughed at while she`s cleaning the floor. Which she will be asked to do the menial chores. She will be stripped searched. They will search her private parts for contraband. They`ll wake her up in the middle of the night, drag her out of her cell, search her room, and search her again. She`s subject to all of the degradation and humiliation. She`s now the property of the state as long as she`s there.

ANDERSON: If that`s not life-changing, I don`t know what is.

GIBSON: It is.

ANDERSON: Jody "Babydol" Gibson, thanks for your insight.

GIBSON: My pleasure.

HAMMER: Yesterday, we asked you to vote on our SHOWBIZ TONIGHT question of the day -- Paris Hilton in jail: Do you think it will change her? Almost all of you don`t think it`s going to happen. Only 13 percent of you say yes, jail will change her. That means 87 percent of you say it won`t.

Here are some of the e-mails we got. We heard from Ali in Florida who writes: "I truly feel a smart young lady like Paris Hilton will come out of jail a better person."

But J`von from Bermuda thinks differently, she thinks, "Hell will freeze over first. Paris change? Hah, yeah, right. I think Satan has a better chance of going to heaven."

ANDERSON: Wow! All right.

A.J., you remember when Paris got arrested for DUI. She whined and said I just had one drink. I swear. Come on.

HAMMER: That`s where you spell lame with a capital L.

ANDERSON: Exactly. I think these stars love to blame everybody but themselves.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The rest of us mess up, we`re like I messed up.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`m like oh, you know what? My bad.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right. Celebrities are like, no, no, no.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, this is not my fault.


ANDERSON: I have the lamest, the worst, the most pathetic celebrity excuses ever. You`ve got no excuse to miss that. Coming up. Stay with us.

HAMMER: Also, Brooke, "The Tonight Show" Ross, The Intern, here`s a guy who makes absolutely no excuses for his really funny celebrity interviews. Tonight, his dramatic weight loss. Plus, is he working on a new TV show with Rosie O`Donnell? Everybody says he`s going to get another TV show. Ross joining us right here. Coming up next.

I`ve also got Michael Moore`s explosive new movie "Sicko." We`re going to tell you why he thinks suspected Al Qaeda terrorists are actually getting better medical treatment than 9/11 rescue workers. I cannot believe what he told Oprah today. We`ll show you coming up.


ANDERSON: Welcome back to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT, TV`s most provocative entertainment news show. I`m Brooke Anderson.

Excuses, excuses, celebrities just love `em. Take our dear jailed friend, Paris Hilton. When Paris got pulled over and charged with DUI, she whined, "I just had one drink, and nothing to eat, honest." Then when she was charged with violating her probation, she sniffed, "I didn`t know I couldn`t drive." Talk about lame.

So, right here, right now, here are the most pathetic, the worst celebrity excuses of all time, and don`t worry, Paris, you`ve got plenty of company.

ANDERSON (voice over): It was the lip-syncing Milli Vanilli moment Ashlee Simpson will never forget on "Saturday Night Live". And she is just one of many celebrities whose excuses we are dissecting, cutting, slicing, dicing and picking apart.

A recording of Simpson`s vocals came on while her band broke into a completely different song. She did a crazy jig and left the stage. Ashlee was all full of excuses for what happened, and SHOWBIZ TONIGHT goes to comedy duo Frangela, for worst excuse play-by-play.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When Ashlee Simpson got caught lip-syncing on "Saturday Night Live" she went through a series of excuses.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: First it was the band`s fault.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right, right, right.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Then it was acid reflux.


ANDERSON: But why the excuses? Why didn`t Ashlee just fess up that she messed up?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When the rest of us mess up we`re just like, I messed up.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah, I like, you know, my bad.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Celebrities are like, no, no, no. I got an excuse.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, no, this is not my fault.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah, that wasn`t me. It was the booze!

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Conditions around me.


JESSICA SIMPSON, SINGER: Dolly, that made me so nervous.

ANDERSON: Conditions for Ashlee`s older sister, Jessica, proved to be just too nerve-wracking when she blundered her way through a prestigious tribute to country music legend Dolly Parton, mumbling that her nerves got the best of her as she exited the stage.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is what I don`t understand? Jessica Simpson can actually sing.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, now we expect Ashlee to mess up. But Jessica? She had a meltdown. I mean, she lost it. She sang the song, and then she was like, Oh, I`m sorry. I was nervous.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`ve seen better on, you know --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Like children, child pageants.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah, or "American Idol."

ANDERSON: So, what`s with America`s idols giving the media these lame ridiculous excuses when they screw up? SHOWBIZ TONIGHT went right to PR expert Howard Bragman.

HOWARD BRAGMAN, FIFTEEN MINUTES PUBLIC RELATIONS: I think we have to be really clear we live in the age of spin. And we`re not in an era of personal responsibilities. And celebrities have jumped on this bandwagon.

And instead of saying "Here`s what happened" and then "I apologize", they come up with these outrageous explanations that really don`t have any credence and make them look even more ridiculous.

ANDERSON: And SHOWBIZ TONIGHT can tell you that even more ridiculous is when Oscar-winning actor Russell Crowe offered one of the worst excuses ever when he hurtled a phone at an hotel employee in New York City. The star from Down Under claimed he lost his cool when he couldn`t phone home to his wife from his cell phone.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I mean how much pressure is Russell Crowe`s wife putting on him when he throws a phone at somebody because he can`t get a line home?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Also, that`s Naomi Campbell`s weapon of choice.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Really. Get yourself a whole another thing, Russell.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Use a PDA, use something different.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah, be creative.

ANDERSON: And known for creativity on and off the screen, Oscar- nominated actress Wynona Ryder told police she was doing research for a role when they arrested her for shoplifting. Yeah, right. She was later convicted.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`m doing a role called "crazy stealer". I am the lead.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It`s about character work. Right, right. We`re going to try to use that.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Really. See how far we get.

ANDERSON: So do the excuses go very far? Is it better some times to just shut up?

BRAGMAN: If it is something egregious maybe just shut up and not offer an explanation. Maybe the explanation is the most obvious one. You don`t want to go there.

ANDERSON: But still there are celebrities who did go there when they were arrested for driving while under the influence. We are, of course, talking about Paris Hilton whose excuse was, she was exhausted. And besides, she only had one drink. And then there was her "Simple Life" co- star Nicole Richie, who told police she was taking Vicodin for stomach cramps, when pulled over for driving erratically.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I think we cannot use menstrual cramps as an excuse. When you use it for that it makes it hard to use it for smaller things.




ANDERSON: While never arrested for DUI, Britney Spears did get in trouble when she was caught driving with her baby son, Sean Preston, perched precariously on her lap, instead of in a car seat. Her excuse: She was being chased by the paparazzi.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don`t know how it helps to have your child in your lap. I can`t have my purse in my lap and drive. You going to put your baby in your lap?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah, what if he slides all down between the pedals, Britney?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That`s why they made the safety seat. They call it that: child safety seat.

ANDERSON: Hasn`t Britney learned by now taking a back seat and passing on a poor excuse is best for your career.

BRAGMAN: Very often, a poor excuse is worse than no excuse. It really becomes laughable. And in this era of blogs and in this era of YouTube, the bad excuses get played again and again and again. And actually are a lot more amusing than what happened in the first place.

ANDERSON: And to this day, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT is waiting for Britney to give us an excuse, any excuse, for her now infamous video shot by her soon- to-be ex Kevin Federline.

Ah, Britney when you burp, you are supposed to say excuse me.


ANDERSON: I`ve got another favorite Britney Spears excuse -- Britney`s publicist told SHOWBIZ TONIGHT her client didn`t pass out at New Year`s Eve party at a nightclub in Las Vegas, because she was drunk, but rather she was, quote, "tired and falling asleep." Right.

HAMMER: Yeah, I love that one.

This guy makes no excuses for his claim to fame. Everybody loves his outrageous, totally over the top celebrity interviews on "The Tonight Show with the Jay Leno", he`s Ross, The Intern, but apparently there`s a lot less of him these days because he`s gone through a dramatic-Ross-reduction on VH-1`s "Celebrity Fit Club: Men Versus Women."

Joining me here tonight in New York is Ross, The Intern, Mathews. I never even knew your last name.



MATHEWS: Thank you.

HAMMER: We`re were just watching the biggest celebrity excuses and I saw you kind of shaking your head at all these things. What about you? Do you have a favorite excuse that you`ve ever tried?

MATHEWS: Oh, my gosh. Maybe I`m hungry, for eating, like, eating the second half of the pizza. Of course, pre-"Celebrity Fit Club".

HAMMER: I was going to say, it doesn`t look like you`re eating entire pizzas these days.

MATHEWS: Can you believe that? I feel like a brand new person.

HAMMER: Now, how did you do it, though? Was it diet and exercise or did you have the tummy tuck? Did you get the stomach stapled?

MATHEWS: Oh, no, but I want it. I still want it. I`m saving up for it. No, I just did the old fashioned, like, diet and exercise. People always ask me. What`s the secret? I so wish there had been a secret. Because it was not easy.

HAMMER: Stand up, Ross. Can we take a wide shot here, Charles?

MATHEWS: Hi. Look at that. Look at that. Still sucking in.

HAMMER: A lot of people around here, we were watching you when you appeared on "The View." Everybody said look at Ross.

MATHEWS: Oh, yeah.

HAMMER: How much weight have you lost, Ross?

MATHEWS: I can`t tell you the final number. We`re up to episode six so far and I`ve lost 34 pounds so fare in the season. Two more episodes to go and I will tell you I`ve lost a crap load of weight since the end of the show, too.

HAMMER: I don`t think we can say crap load on this show.

MATHEWS: Oh, my gosh! Sorry.

HAMMER: No, it`s fine. I`m just kidding.

So, Ross, I have to ask you a serious question. So many young Hollywood starlets, such as yourself --

MATHEWS: Thanks.

HAMMER: Feel a certain pressure to look a certain way and lose a certain amount of weight. Is that what motivated you? Do you feel you have to give into the pressure that Hollywood puts on you?

MATHEWS: So not. No. There`s no pressure for me to be sexy. Because I don`t think it`s my sex appeal that people are buying into. I think there`s actually pressure on the other end. People are worried that I wouldn`t be funny if I wasn`t fat. But listen there`s a lot left to make fun of about myself.

HAMMER: He`s still funny. I think he`s still funny.


MATHEWS: Thanks. You can`t lose this voice is the problem.

HAMMER: As we`ve seen, Ross, sadly it`s become fashionable for some stars to lose too much weight. A la, Nicole Richie comes to mind. Should we be worried about you? Should we be troubled? Should we be concerned that you`re going to be a cardboard cutout?

MATHEWS: Here`s hoping. Honestly. I would love to get to that point where you`re worried about my health. No, no, not really.


MATHEWS: There should be a reverse celebrity fit club, don`t you think? Where people have to be fit and muscular, like get Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan, the people who need it. Posh Spice, they need a sandwich. That`s what we`ll do on the next "Celebrity Fit Club".

HAMMER: Yes, at least a healthy weight.

MATHEWS: That`s a great idea. I`m going to pitch it.

HAMMER: I know you love interviewing all the stars.


HAMMER: Are you fascinated with al those young Hollywood starlets?

MATHEWS: Crazy. I feel so guilty because I know every little thing, about every little thing, about all of them.

HAMMER: Paris Hilton, of course, we`ve been talking a lot about the fact that she`s in jail. If she`s writing a diary, right now, and releases it when she gets released will you go and buy something like that?

MATHEWS: No. I`ll read about it on the blog. Because they have excerpts. I`m not going to spend money on it. My God. But can I tell you what I love about her? She got all prettied up for her mug shot. You could slap "Vanity Fair" and a bar code on it and sell that.

HAMMER: You have to set the record straight for me on something. All this buzz going on around you and Rosie O`Donnell, from "The View." -- which you were on the "The View" -- about getting together and doing a talk show. What`s the deal there?

MATHEWS: Can I tell you. Rosie is such an inspiration to me. She`s part of why I`m doing this. You know, she inspires me on a daily basis. And to work with her in any capacity would be a thrill, and a joy, you know. Speaking of "The View" --

HAMMER: So, it might happen. Just say it might happen.

MATHEWS: It might happen. You never know. If it did, I would be freaked out of my mind happy.

HAMMER: Ross, congratulations on you weight loss. We`ve gotta go.

Ross, The Intern, you can catch "Celebrity Fit Club: Men Versus Women", Sunday nights on VH-1.

MATHEWS: And read my blog.

ANDERSON: All right, I`ve heard all kinds of things about Michael Moore`s new movie, "Sicko." He really rips into the health care industry, it sounds very, very interesting. But I was totally floored about what he told Oprah today. He thinks some suspected Al Qaeda terrorists get better medical care than 9/11 rescue workers. That`s next.


HAMMER: I`m a big fan of documentary maker Michael Moore. I thought "Fahrenheit 9/11" certainly helped open a lot of people`s eyes. His new film is called "Sicko" and it absolutely rips into the healthcare industry.

Michael Moore stopped by Oprah today with a shocking clip. In the film, he brings 9/11 rescue workers, who are ill because of their heroics, to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where suspected Al Qaeda terrorists are being held. And he says, they`re getting better medical care.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: These are 9/11 rescue workers. They want some medical attention. The same kind that Al Qaeda is getting. They don`t want any more than you`re giving the evildoers, just the same.

OPRAH WINFREY, TALK SHOW HOST: So, tell us what happened. You did that to, what? Get attention? To make a point?

MICHAEL MOORE, FILM PRODUCER: To make the point that we provide better health care to the people that we accuse of causing 9/11, and all the death and destruction of that day, the very people who ran down there to help save lives and are now ill as a result of that don`t have the health care. To me, that was madness.


HAMMER: Madness, indeed. "Sicko" opens June 29th.

ANDERSON: We`ve been asking you to vote on our SHOWBIZ TONIGHT question of the day. Paris in jail: Will she come out more popular than ever? Keep voting, And write to us We`ll read some of your thoughts tomorrow.

You can now stay on top of the latest most provocative entertainment news stories and find out what we`re working on by signing up for the SHOWBIZ TONIGHT newsletter. Go to our website, Look on the left-hand side of the page where it says newsletter. Click to sign up and we`ll e-mail you the SHOWBIZ TONIGHT newsletter every day.

HAMMER: Could these bad girls, the Paris, the Lindsays actually be good role models? Here`s what`s coming up on SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. Yeah, you heard me right. With the eating issues, the addictions, the jail times, could young girls actually learn something? From the Hiltons, the Lohans, the Spears. SHOWBIZ TONIGHT investigates, can bad girls teach good girls a thing or two? That`s tomorrow.

Also, tomorrow, a SHOWBIZ TONIGHT special report. From Britney`s breakdown to Tom`s tirades, to Paula`s punchiness, the most embarrassing, most painful to watch celebrity interviews ever.

Now, Brooke, you know at the end of the program every night, how I crumple my script and I toss it?


HAMMER: It`s not just to amuse myself. It`s to let my 91-year-old grandmother, Vivian, in Ohio, know that I am thinking of her. There`s Vivian.

Vivian, wave to the camera.

She came by to visit tonight.

ANDERSON: Hi, Vivian.

HAMMER: And I love you, Vivian. And thank you for watching SHOWBIZ TONIGHT everyone. Sticking around for me to toss the paper. That is it for SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. I am A.J. Hammer in New York.

ANDERSON: That was really, really sweet, A.J.

I`m Brooke Anderson in Hollywood. "Glenn Beck" coming up next. right after the latest headlines from CNN "Headline News." You`re going to make me cry.