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Showbiz Tonight
Chinese Pop Star, 24, Declares Love for 12-Year-Old; Honey Boo-Boo Supports Gay Uncle; `Gangnam Style` Video Sets Guinness Record; Lindsay Lohan Exploiting Her Past?; The Top Five Best Burnett Moment from the Carol Burnett Show
Aired September 28, 2012 - 23:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
A.J. HAMMER, HOST: Honey Boo-Boo versus an "X Factor" stunner. And has "Gangnam Style" actually outdone Lady Gaga? It`s the "SHOWBIZ Countdown" of the "Famously Shocking." But which of the famous has the most shocking story of them all?
Hello, I`m A.J. Hammer. Thank you for watching.
And tonight in the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," it`s the top five stories that made us say, now that`s "Famously Shocking."
And we are kicking off the countdown with No. 5, the shock and outrage today over the romance between the 24-year-old famous pop star and the 12- year-old child star.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE (singing): I love you like I never ever loved no one before you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: OK, here`s what`s happening here. That`s the English-language music video featuring a duet by the 24-year-old Zhang Muyi and 12-year-old child model, Akama Mika.
Now, Zhang has, quite creepily I might add, publicly declared his love for the 12-year-old Akama, and she`s done the same. Can you believe this? They`re reportedly dating now. And yes, it actually gets even creepier.
With me in New York, the anything but creepy Kevin Brown, who we all know and love at Dot Com on the hit NBC sit-com "30 Rock." Great to see you, Kevin, in Hollywood tonight.
KEVIN BROWN, ACTOR: How you doing?
HAMMER: I`m great. And Maggie Furlong is with us from the Huffington Post.
So this guy, Zhang Muyi -- I love this -- he said he wouldn`t actually marry his child-star love until she`s a teenager. OK. Some -- he`s got standards. He`s already twice her age at this point. But this is seriously creepy.
And in fact, it is so creepy, I`m going to show you how all of us at SHOWBIZ TONIGHT felt when we first discovered this story. Charles, I`d like you to please show everybody the SHOWBIZ shocked sheep.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(SHEEP SCREAMING)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Yes. See. Didn`t know we had farm animals, did we? That`s how we felt collectively.
Anyway, Maggie, this pair has been putting up tons of picture and these love notes on their site. It really seems like they really think they`re a legit couple. But of course, there`s a lot of talk that maybe it`s just a publicity stunt. And you know what? In my mind, that`s still creepy.
MAGGIE FURLONG, HUFFINGTON POST: It`s creepy either way. She`s 12 years old. The fact that he`s saying, "I can`t wait four more years until you`re 16 and can be married and together," it`s so disgusting that I`m glad we`ve said the word "creepy" like ten times already in this segment.
HAMMER: I`m going to continue to say creepy. Because it`s not just the fact that they`re declaring their love for each other, creepy. The music video that Zhang and 12-year-old Akama Mika made together, it`s called "Pretty Boy." This is totally stoking the creepy ick factor, watching them together, singing about their love. Oh, but let`s watch it, shall we?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
AKAMA MIKA, SINGING: My pretty, pretty boy, I love you like I`ve never ever loved no one before you. Pretty, pretty boy of mine, just tell me you love me, too.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Creepy, creepy. Kevin, can you believe this guy thinks it is OK and it`s OK to be so open about declaring his love for a 12-year-old girl? I mean, doesn`t it creep you out?
BROWN: It creeps me out, but they`re in another country, right?
HAMMER: Well, yes. We`re going to keep them out of here, I think.
BROWN: OK. That`s an important fact. But this is a job for her father. Her father needs to step in and do whatever fathers do. Because I know if that was my 12-year-old girl, he wouldn`t look so pretty in that video right then.
HAMMER: Probably not. You know what it`s a job for, Kevin, the shocked SHOWBIZ sheep. I`m here to tell you that right now. Charles, please. Sheep, now, roll it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(SCREAMING SHEEP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: I`m sorry. It`s Friday. I can`t resist.
Let`s move from this ick factor to the "X Factor." This is No. 4 tonight on our "Shockingly Famous" "SHOWBIZ Countdown." The extra-large "X Factor" contestant who we just saw bring down the house, in a very good way.
The "X Factor" judges are, of course, used to surprises on the show. But last night a 540-pound wheelchair-bound minister named Freddie Combs, who`s already lost 400 pounds, he created this must-see reality TV video moment that I don`t think anybody will soon forget.
Let`s watch what happened when Freddie was rolled onstage by his wife. Charles, roll that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
L.A. REID, JUDGE, FOX`S "THE X FACTOR": What do you do, other than sing? What do you do to make a living?
FREDDIE COMBS, MINISTER: I am a minister.
REID: OK.
COMBS: I went on disability due to my obesity. In 2009, I almost died. My weight was 920 pounds.
REID: No.
COMBS: Yes.
REID: And how much now?
COMBS: I am 540 now.
(singing) It must have been cold in my shadow to never have sunlight on your face. I was the one all the glory.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Dude can sing. And quite frankly, I think the best part of all of this is that Simon made this amazing deal with Freddie Combs. All of the judges sent Freddie into the next round, but Simon famously shocked us on the show by vowing to stand up with Freddie when Freddie can stand up.
Maggie, what does it say that he even got to Simon`s heart like that? I mean, that`s pretty hard to do.
FURLONG: I feel like we`ve never seen this side of Simon. I mean, first of all, just watching that clip, I have goose bumps all over again. Just knowing what came next. For Simon to say, "I feel like these four votes for you is a vote of confidence. Keep doing what you`re doing. Keep losing weight. And when you can stand up and sing, we`re all standing behind you." I think that -- you know, you crumbled the most hardened man in reality television. Nice work.
HAMMER: Yes. Nice work, indeed. And look, this guy, I think, is going to prove to be incredibly inspiring and one of the things that makes the "X Factor" really a great show this season.
I`m thinking, though, how can you possibly talk about people who are shockingly famous without talking about Honey Boo-Boo? No. 3 tonight on our "SHOWBIZ Countdown," Honey Boo-Boo supports for the gay community.
That`s right. The 7-year-old reality star, who loves Red Bull and Mountain Dew, is speaking the truth about tolerance. The "Toddlers & Tiaras" break- out star proclaimed her message of acceptance about her uncle, who is openly gay, on the just-revealed season finale of "Here Comes Honey Boo- Boo." Here`s how it went down.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Alana refers to me as her poodle.
JUNE THOMPSON, REALITY TV STAR: Lee is Sugar Bear`s youngest brother. He`s up in town (ph). And he`s gay.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Damn gnats.
ALANA THOMPSON, REALITY TV STAR: Ain`t nothing wrong with being a little gay. Everybody`s a little gay.
J. THOMPSON: You know, gay men, they know how to dance. They know how to make the moves. Like...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He`s called Poodle because Alana calls any gay person a poodle. But I don`t know if there`s other type of gay dogs. Maybe people call him Shih Tzus.
A. THOMPSON: He`s a poodle.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: OK. Not exactly free of stereotypes. But apparently, everybody`s a little gay.
Hey, let`s give it up for Honey Boo-Boo. I mean, really, the show did tackle her uncle`s sexuality in length. And Kevin, as crazy as it sounds, can you imagine Honey Boo-Boo now becoming the new poster child, so to speak, for gay rights. Amazing, right?
BROWN: A.J., I love you like a brother, but listen, I`m ashamed that we are even discussing -- this is a major cable network. You bring on major A-list celebrities...
HAMMER: Like yourself.
BROWN: ... to discuss the philosophical ramblings of a 7-year-old hillbilly. I can`t believe that we are talking about this.
HAMMER: Well, you know, Kevin, like I said, it`s Friday night. Don`t make me break out the sheep again because I`ll do it.
BROWN: I love that sheep.
HAMMER: Kevin, she may be 7 years old, but Honey Boo-Boo does live her life over the top. She tells it like it is. So right now, you know what I`m going to do for you? I`m going to take it over the top on SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. In honor of what we think is a great new standby, "Honey Boo-Boo," I`m giving us Honey Boo-Boo nicknames.
Kevin and Maggie, I was on the SHOWBIZ computer, and I went to the Honey Boo-Boo generator. It`s on Facebook. I found your nicknames.
I will kick it off. This is me, my Honey Boo-Boo nickname, Angel Honey Pie, of course. Kevin, yours is Kewpie Bear. My friend, you are Kewpie Bear. Maggie, you are Maizy Fairy. And we`re going to wrap it all up with the show business sheep to take us out with a big shocking scream to let us all know, this is how we feel tonight.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(SHEEP SCREAMING)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: All right, guys. Listen. The countdown is not over yet. I`ll review myself Kevin, I promise.
We`ve got to find out which is No. 1 tonight on our countdown of "Famously Shocking." Numbers two and No. 1 coming right up. So please -- Kevin, don`t get up. Just stay where you are.
Maggie, I know you`re going to remain.
All right. To see what Carol Burnett would have done with that Honey Boo- Boo. Can you imagine? Carol`s legendary variety show ran for 11 seasons. It is still one of the most loved shows of all time. Well, tonight we present "Best Burnett Ever."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CAROL BURNETT, COMEDIAN: What brings you to Tara?
HARVEY KORMAN, ACTOR: You, you vixen, you. Scarlett, I love you. That -- that gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window, and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Such a classic moment. Coming up, I can`t wait. It`s a special SHOWBIZ Countdown," "Best Burnett Ever." We`re counting down our five favorite moments from "The Carol Burnett Show" with the cast. I have a special half hour with Carol, Vicki Lawrence, Tim Conway. They are here. You should be, too.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: A Harry situation. You, of course, remember those naked pictures of Prince Harry in Las Vegas that were splashed around the world, right? Well, they sparked a furious response from the royal family, including the threat of an official claim against "The Sun" newspaper. That`s who first published the naked prince pics.
But now, according to reports, St. James Palace has now decided not to file the complaint, because Harry is now deployed in Afghanistan. The palace says it would be imprudent and a distraction to file the complaint, despite the royal family`s outrage.
Up next, we reveal who tops our "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "Famously Shocking." "Gangnam Style" versus Lindsay Lohan.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: SHOWBIZ TONIGHT continues our countdown of today`s top five "Famously Shocking." Here`s where we are so far.
At No. 5, it`s the pop star and the preteen. Yes, a 24-year-old Chinese pop star and his apparent 12-year-old model girlfriend have shocked us all, publicly declaring their love for each other.
No. 4, the "X Factor`s" 540-pound stunner. How shocking is this? A wheelchair-bound obese contestant brings down the house, makes a deal with the judges at the same time.
No. 3, Honey Boo-Boo`s blessing. That`s right. Reality TV`s new superstar declares her support for the gay community. She`s only 7.
That brings us to No. 2 on our "SHOWBIZ Countdown" of the day`s "Famously Shocking." "Gangnam Style" top Gaga. Well, the quirky dance video actually just nabbed the Guinness record for the most likes on YouTube.
Now, the last time we checked it had well over 2 million likes. Let me bring back a guy I like, Kevin Brown. He stars on the hit NBC sit-com, "30 rock." Kevin is in New York tonight.
I also like Maggie Furlong. She`s from the Huffington Post, joining us from Hollywood.
Well, of all of the videos out there, for all of the superstars in the world, Kevin, are you with me and just a little shocked that Psy`s goofy video, fun as it is, comes out on top with the most likes?
BROWN: I`m not shocked at all, actually. I love the video. Every time I see him on different shows, he was on "SNL." I saw him on "Ellen." And the performances are outstanding. So I love what he`s doing.
I just want to know, what does "Gangnam Style" mean? Can someone translate this for me? Because I want to support the music. And if that means something crazy like "I love Honey Boo-Boo" or "It`s OK to date a 12-year- old girl" or something. I want to know what "Gangnam Style" mean.
HAMMER: "Gangnam Style," it actually does mean "I love Honey Boo-Boo," so you`re now committed to loving Honey Boo-Boo, Kevin.
And what`s been fun about it is we`ve seen all these great parodies out there of it. People just can`t seem to get enough of it, Maggie. Are you still feeling love? Perhaps even greater love for this crazy dancing now that you really know what it means?
FURLONG: I am. I mean, I feel like the most fun thing about this is that everyone is getting in on it is having a good time. He`s enjoying himself, obviously. Like, look at him in his suits. He`s obviously having a good time, going around promoting this. He`s obviously just as shocked as everybody else is.
This isn`t Justin Bieber or somebody hugely famous. This is just a guy who created a video. And I feel like that`s kind of what YouTube is supposed to be about. I love it.
HAMMER: He`s having a great time. And Kevin, to be clear, it doesn`t actually mean "I love Honey Boo-Boo." I know you were concerned. Psy told us it means "dress classy, dance cheesy." And I think he accomplishes both in his video.
BROWN: I love that, I love that.
HAMMER: All right. Now it is time for the big reveal tonight. Who tops us off at No. 1 on our "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "Famously Shocking"? Oh, it`s Lindsay Lohan. Is she really exploiting her own troubled past to push a new movie?
So we all know Lindsay is starring in this new Lifetime movie "Liz and Dick" about Hollywood legend Liz Taylor. Well, the new ad for the movie makes some surprising parallels between Lindsay and Liz. Here now is your "SHOWBIZ First Look."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Her first starring role in five years.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: She`s got this new role. Lindsay is playing Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime movie.
GRAPHIC: Lindsay is back.
LINDSAY LOHAN, ACTRESS: It`s been a long time.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "Liz and Dick" is about the tumultuous lifelong love affair of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.
LOHAN: The film arcs over their entire lives and how they had to go through life living in the public eye and how it can tear people apart.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I can`t. Sorry. It`s as simple as that. I can`t. It was the star of the exploitation of celebrity.
LOHAN: Do you have your pictures? Can`t you leave us alone?
I`m a huge Elizabeth Taylor fan. And I relate to her in a lot of levels: living in the public eye. Dealing with the stress of what other people say, whether it`s true or not.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Elizabeth, how many did you take?
LOHAN: I personally understand Liz, because you`re living your life for everyone to see. People are growing with you. You get to a point where you can become numb to it, and you just live your life the way that you feel you need to live it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Lindsay is excellent to work with. She`s pretty much Elizabeth Taylor reincarnated.
LOHAN: I love diamonds, and she appreciated them, and it made her happy.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
HAMMER: Well, no question about it: Lindsay looks great as Liz. And I certainly get the parallels here, Kevin. As an actor, though, help me understand this. She`s done it before where she`s used her past troubles to kind of promote herself and exploit that. At this point should she really be doing that if she wants to be taken seriously, beyond the obvious parallels of, you know, Liz was a big star who dealt with being in the public eye so much?
BROWN: First of all, did you notice my shocked eyes? I made the shocking eyes.
HAMMER: Can you do it again? I see your shocking eyes.
BROWN: My first film -- my first major film was with Lindsay Lohan. We shot it out in Canada, "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." She was 16. I was 18. We had a romance. And -- no, I`m kidding.
HAMMER: OK. So quickly.
BROWN: I`m impressed by her. I`ve seen her as a little girl. And I love Liz Taylor. I was -- I was probably the only little black boy in the projects watching Liz Taylor as a kid.
HAMMER: Kevin, I got to jump in and end it there. But you know, look, we all wish Lindsay the best, and if this is how they`re promoting the movie, then we`ll see if it works for them.
Maggie, Kevin, thank you so much.
An all-new season of "30 Rock" premieres next Thursday, October 4 on NBC. We can`t wait.
And now I can`t wait for something I`ve been so excited about. A special "SHOWBIZ Countdown," our top five favorite moments from "The Carol Burnett Show."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VICKI LAWRENCE, ACTRESS: You are really nuts, you know?
BURNETT: Nuts?
LAWRENCE: One of these days they`re going to come over here and lock you up.
BURNETT: Lay off of me, will you?
LAWRENCE: You ain`t playing with a full deck, Eunice.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: "Best Burnett Ever." You`ve got to love your favorite Burnett moments. I`m counting down our top five with the comedy icons tonight. Carol, Vicki and Tim Conway join me for our countdown, "Best Burnett Ever."
This is SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Time now for SHOWBIZ, "Say What?" What in the world is Sharon Stone thinking at this moment? She`s got her prayer hands and two men whispering in her ears. We asked you to fill in the thought bubbles on HLNTV.com. Let me read you some of my favorites.
"No more replacement refs. I was praying for that."
Or "Sorry, but I haven`t done that since my "Basic Instinct" days. And "One at a time, boys. One at a time."
Keep looking for SHOWBIZ "Say What?" on our Web site, HLNTV.com/ShowbizTonight.
Well, Nicki Minaj now has "American Idol" judge under her belt. But now I can tell you we`re about to see her in a whole new reality.
Also, guess what Reese Witherspoon just named her brand-new bouncing baby boy? And in more baby news tonight, are Beyonce and Jay-Z expecting? Jay speaks out in the buzz today.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
HAMMER (voice-over): A royal blue sibling? Beyonce and Jay-Z`s daughter, Blue Ivy, won`t become a big sister any time soon. Jay-Z is slamming down reports that his wife, Beyonce, has a baby on the way. In a brand-new interview with E! Online, the rapper says not tonight, not in nine months. Absolutely not.
And for those still in doubt, he added, "Not in one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight or nine months."
It`s a baby boy for Reese. Reese Witherspoon and her husband have just welcomed a new addition to their family. In a statement to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on Thursday, Reese`s rep announced the happy news, saying Reese Witherspoon and husband Jim Toth welcomed Tennessee James into their family today. Both mom and baby are healthy, and the entire family is thrilled."
This is the couple`s first child. Witherspoon is already mom to 12-year-old Ava and 8-year-old Deacon from her previous marriage to Ryan Phillippe.
Nicki`s reality. Fans are about to get a closer look at Nicki Minaj`s life. SHOWBIZ TONIGHT can tell you the pop singer is teaming up with E! to be featured in a new trilogy of specials beginning in November.
The network says the reality series will offer fans exclusive and intimate access to her personal and professional lives with never-before-seen footage of the star.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
HAMMER: As long as she keeps wearing those wigs.
Well, coming up at the bottom of the hour, it`s a special half hour "SHOWBIZ Countdown" tonight. The cast of "The Carol Burnett Show" is here.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BURNETT: What brings you to Tara?
KORMAN: You, you vixen you. Scarlett, I love you. That -- that gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window, and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: There was nothing like it then. It is still the comedy gold standard for TV shows now. Tonight we`re counting down our top five favorite moments from "The Carol Burnett Show," "Best Burnett Ever." We`re going it with the cast. Got Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence and Tim Conway joining me for a special half hour next.
This is SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BURNETT: What brings you to Tara?
KORMAN: You, you vixen you. Scarlett, I love you. That -- that gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window, and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Right now on a special edition of the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," the "Best Burnett Ever." The legendary cast of one of TV`s most iconic shows, "The Carol Burnett Show", is right here, including Carol Burnett, Tim Conway and Vicki Lawrence. We are counting down our top five best Burnett moments ever in the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," with Carol and the whole gang as SHOWBIZ TONIGHT continues right now.
Welcome back to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT and thank you for watching. I`m A.J. Hammer.
And you know, it is one of the classic comedy series of all-time. "The Carol Burnett show" ran for 11 years, racked up 25 Emmy awards, and obviously it gave us some of the most side-splitting moments in television history.
Well, now SHOWBIZ TONIGHT is counting down our top five favorite moments from "the Carol Burnett Show." And here to help us out, I am so honored to have the cast of that classic television series here with me now. I can`t even believe it.
Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence, and of course Carol Burnett right here in New York. And you can judge for yourself about these particular moments by picking this up.
Time life has released "the Carol Burnett show" collection on DVD with the episodes hand-picked by Carol herself. In fact, I just received my copy. I was just handed, and I just went out and bought a sharpie. If I do well, maybe I`ll get you to sign it. But it is so wonderful to have you here counting down with us tonight.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you.
HAMMER: Let us begin our countdown, shall we?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK.
HAMMER: Let`s get to number five of our favorite moments from "the Carol Burnett show." It`s the no-frills airline. I remember this when it first aired.
And Tim, you try to save a couple of bucks by taking an airplane ride, but boy do you ever pay the price.
TIM CONWAY, CAST, THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: I still do.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Excuse me, are you in the no-frills section?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well then get your foot off our rug.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We`re expecting some very slight turbulence and I would like to suggest that you fasten your seat belts loosely. Thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Maybe you better take the food back.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, no, no, that was just a precaution. The captain wouldn`t let us serve if it was anything serious, yes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: And to this day, that is why I always try to sit in the front of the plane. I mean, how great, not only seeing these clips, but watching you guys laugh, no matter how many times you must have seen these before.
But Carol, sadly, quite a prophetic moment. I mean, this is what air travels about these days.
CAROL BURNETT, CAST, THE CAROL BURNETT: Yes, it is. I guess so.
HAMMER: I don`t know if turbulence only happens in the back of the plane. What made a sketch like that so funny to you?
BURNETT: The physicality of it and how this one just played it, you know, that`s what was so funny.
HAMMER: It was just magical like that too.
CONWAY: Well, I`m a natural athlete, so it wasn`t that difficult.
BURNETT: So it works.
HAMMER: So when you got thrown out the plane at the end of the sketch, you were ready for the task at hand.
BURNETT: Exactly.
HAMMER: It really was, though, lightning in a bottle, the three of you and rest of the cast. What made you guys so magical together, Vicki?
VICKI LAWRENCE, CAST, THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: Oh, God, I don`t know. We just really locked into an amazing chemistry. I mean, we were all really good friends. And I mean, I feel -- I was the child on the show. I feel like I got to go to the Harvard school of comedy in front of America, and just have the best teachers in the world. Hard not to learn just by osmosis.
CONWAY: To me, it was the salary. I think, you know, showing up and having a check.
BURNETT: You mean, we paid you?
CONWAY: Yes.
HAMMER: I`m sure you three are eager to see where we`re going in our countdown?
BURNETT: Oh, yes.
HAMMER: Should we move on?
CONWAY: Yes.
HAMMER: All right. Let`s get to number four on our countdown. It`s the best Burnett moments ever from "the Carol Burnett show" out on DVD now.
And actually, the truth is pretty much anytime Vicki Lawrence would put on the wig and the pearls and transform herself into the tough-talking Thelma Harper well, better known as Mama of course, you knew the laughs were coming very loud and very quickly. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You were really nuts, you know? Nuts. One of these days they`re going to come over here and lock you up.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Lay off of me, will you?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You are not pulling with a full deck, Eunice. I think somebody blew your pilot light out.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That`s a new one, mama.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You`re right, there`s more, Eunice. You know what? You got splinters in the windmills of your mind. You`re playing hockey with a warped puck.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: You know, I never knew what people enjoyed more from this show, the hilarious lines or watching you all crack each other up.
BURNETT: I never knew she was going to come up with a role like that. I had no idea. She just kept going and kept going. And honestly, people said there, you probably broke up on purpose or -- honest to God, we never did it on purpose.
LAWRENCE: No, we would save surprises for each other.
HAMMER: And you could tell you weren`t forcing it. You were laughing. I mean, it was hilarious.
Why did people love Mama so much? Aside from, I think we all know our moms are right. But really, one of the most beloved characters and iconic characters in TV history.
LAWRENCE: And it actually was written for Carol. She didn`t want the part. She said Eunice spoke to her, and so she gave -- I say it`s yet another gift from Carol.
HAMMER: Could you ever imagine, 45 years ago when we first put the show on the air, here we would be in 2012 and we are laughing about it. And if my understanding of history is correct, you were actually a bit reluctant to even do the show.
BURNETT: No, I wasn`t. CBS was reluctant to put it on.
(LAUGHTER)
HAMMER: Well, didn`t they offer you a sitcom or this variety-type show?
BURNETT: They had to put the variety show on, because it was a contract that I had and they tried to talk me out of it by giving me a sitcom called, "here`s Agnes," can you imagine? And I said, no, I really -- all I know is variety and I want to have music and guest stars and a rep company and do sketches and, you know, all that.
HAMMER: And here we are all these years later, still laughing. How Brilliant is that?
All right. I need you, all three of you, please stay right where you are. We are actually going to seat belt you in, except for you, we are going to put a rope around you, you know like in the sketch.
Our special half-hour "showbiz countdown" best Burnett ever continues. We are up to our top three favorite moments from "the Carol Burnett show".
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: See, this elephant had this little dwarf trainer and --
(LAUGHER)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She used to put a little ballerina skirt on that elephant.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There`s a rumor going around the circus that that dwarf and the elephant were lovers. The elephant squashed the dwarf.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Go, Mama.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You see that little (bleep)
(APPLAUSE)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: It`s the famous adlib that literally had "the Carol Burnett show" cast on the floor in laughter.
We are counting down the top five best Burnett moments ever. Our top three, coming up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Welcome back to this very special edition of the showbiz countdown as we are counting down or top five best Burnett moments ever from ""the Carol Burnett show"" which is now available on DVD from Time Life.
Joining us, we are so thrilled to have Carol Burnett, Tim Conway and Vicki Lawrence.
And we move on to number three on out countdown, the late Harvey comment just unbelievable in this thing rather unlucky patients, Tim Conway playing, shall we say a rather incompetent dentist who`s having a little trouble administering Novocain. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`ll just give you a little shot here. I`ll be right with you.
(LAUGHTER)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Tim, I think about this every time I go to the dentist and I`m sure I`m not alone. The beauty is, you didn`t have to say a word.
CONWAY: That`s right.
BURNETT: And poor Harvey, he had not seen the Novocain bit until we were doing it.
HAMMER: Perfect.
BURNETT: When Tim was doing it. So he didn`t know what he was going to do. Harvey -- tell him what Harvey did.
CONWAY: Wet his pants.
BURNETT: Yes.
HAMMER: Literally?
BURNETT: He did.
HAMMER: He genuinely did.
CONWAY: Yes.
BURNETT: Genuinely did.
HAMMER: Wow. All right. Those pants available on e-bay or somewhere. I don`t know. Harvey, sadly, passed away in 2008.
BURNETT: I know.
HAMMER: But it really is immeasurable what he brought to the show. And people will see that when they watch these shows.
CONWAY: Yes.
BURNETT: He is so brilliant. He is a consummate comedic actor. He could do everything. He could do all kinds of voices, all kinds of accents, all kinds of -- and he really prided himself on being so with it, you know. But the only time he ever really lost it was when he was doing a sketch with Tim.
HAMMER: It`s a badge of honor you wear proudly, I`m sure.
CONWAY: And I do, yes.
HAMMER: Let`s keep this train rolling, shall we?
BURNETT: OK.
CONWAY: OK.
HAMMER: We`re continuing with our countdown of the best Burnett ever from ""the Carol Burnett show"."
Number two, a moment that didn`t actually air on the show, but thanks to blooper roles, you tube and the like, it is now one of the most popular moments in the show`s history.
Tim, hard at work hijacking a Mama`s family sketch with a little adlibbed elephant story. The cast was just in stitches when this happened until of course, Vicki`s Mama got the last word. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: See now, this elephant had this little dwarf trainer and he used to put a little ballerina skirt on that elephant. There`s a rumor going around the circus that that dwarf and the elephant were lovers. And the elephant squashed the dwarf.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Go, Mama.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sure that little ant (bleep)?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Now Vicki, I heard that before the sketch, Carol would say to everybody --
LAWRENCE: When he got written in --
HAMMER: Would say, focus!
LAWRENCE: When he got written into the family as Mickey Hart, we got the lecture from Carol, that how we will not break that fourth wall, we will be disciplined, I must really serious about it. And who`s the first to lose it? The first one.
And so, we do the dress rehearsal, and in between shows we used to have enough time to get a little snack, get your nose, get your make-up touch touched up. That night the director knocks on my door. He goes, I`ve got only one note, the elephant story will be different and good luck.
(LAUGHTER)
LAWRENCE: And I said to my husband, Al, who is the makeup man on the show, because he was sitting in the dressing room, he is sitting right there, I said, how does he get away with it? And Al looked at me and said, get him. And I think that`s when the monster was unleashed, that night.
(LAUGHTER)
HAMMER: And I would guess, if Carol starts laughing, all bets are off. It`s a green light.
BURNETT: Listen, he was looking at me, right in the face, in the eyes, and talking about this elephant. Nobody could keep a straight face.
HAMMER: Where did you come up with this story?
CONWAY: Well, the director said, just say elephant. We`re very long in this sketch. You know, we`re trying to tighten it up, just say elephant and get off. So I had to go into a couple of minutes about the elephant, for those who didn`t know the elephant was --
BURNETT: We had no idea he was going to do that.
CONWAY: Nor did it.
HAMMER: And if I remember how it worked correctly, you would tape the show twice, and basically, if this is the kind of thing that happened, it was going to wind up on the show.
CONWAY: Yes.
BURNETT: Yes.
HAMMER: It wasn`t as if you were going to redo it because everybody lost their cool.
BURNETT: It was gold. It was gold, because it was honest.
HAMMER: It was honest. And you could tell that and still feel that to this day. I have so much fun watching. I can`t even, believe I`m sitting here with the three of you fine people, watching these fine moments.
But please, I`m going to strap you to the chairs once again. We are going to check out our number one favorite moment from ""the Carol Burnett show." We reveal it next on our countdown, best Burnett ever.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Tonight in the "showbiz countdown," we are counting down the best Burnett ever. Our top five favorite moments from ""the Carol Burnett show"" collection, which is out now on DVD from Time Life.
And look who I`m sitting with? Unbelievable to me. We are now at the moment that everybody has been waiting for, and really, it`s no surprise at all.
Carol and company, their big spoof of "Gone With The Wind" aptly titled "Went With The Wind." This is number one on our showbiz countdown.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What am I going to do? Captain Butler is coming over and he`s got money and I`ve got to get it and look at me. I look like the inside of a goat`s stomach.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Miss Scarlet, the Yankees done stole all your clothes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know that, stupid.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Isn`t that captain butler`s carriage now?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, Lord, what am I going to do?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, I got an idea, when he comes in, why don`t you hide behind the drapes.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Help me take these down! What brings you to Tara?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You, you vixen, you. Scarlet, I love you. That -- that - - that gown is gorgeous.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you, I saw it in the window and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: How do you go wrong wearing a curtain and a curtain rod.
BURNETT: Well, I have to say that that being number one, we have to give credit to our costume designer. It was not planned to be the curtain rod.
HAMMER: No?
BURNETT: No, I was just supposed to come down with the curtain kind of hanging, you know, which would have been OK. But when I went into costume fittings that week, Bob Mackey said, I have an idea that might be more fun for that drapery dress. Come here. And he -- I went into the fitting room and there it was, on the curtain rod -- and I fell on the floor --
HAMMER: You must have just started laughing.
BURNETT: I said, this is going to be the greatest sight gag I`ve ever seen.
HAMMER: And I think it`s wild for a lot of people hearing that Bob Mackey was your costume designer.
BURNETT: He designed everything that all of us wore, sometimes went up to almost 70 costumes a week, he designed.
HAMMER: Unbelievable. Watching Carol walk out and then fall down the stairs like that probably never gets old, does it?
CONWAY: No.
LAWRENCE: It doesn`t.
CONWAY: We pushed her down once in a while, just to --
BURNETT: And my neck still talks to me to this day.
HAMMER: One of the most fascinating parts sitting with the three of you right now watching these sketches together is again, I said this when we are starting out, as many times as you have seen them, it`s remarkable to me, you`re not only laughing me, but turning to each other as if you`re seeing a knew a nuance for the first time or remembering --
BURNETT: Maybe we are!
LAWRENCE: Maybe.
CONWAY: Yes.
HAMMER: It is just amazing. All right.
Well, it`s been great fun sharing these clips with you, but I`m not going to let you go just yet. Because I need to know, were the show around today, if there is anybody in particular you would be very eager to spoof. You think about that.
Don`t move. Stay right where you are, we`ll get your final thoughts as we continue with the legendary cast of ""the Carol Burnett show," coming up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Well, I`m exhausted.
We have just counted down our top five moments ever from "the Carol Burnett show" with Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence. Time Life has just released "the Carol Burnett show" on DVD, which is so terrific you`ve put it together, your favorite moments.
Now, were you around today as a show, there`s such great fodder for you out there. What in particular would you like to spoof? Because you guys always classically spoofed what was current at the time.
BURNETT: What would we like to spoof? The Kardashians.
HAMMER: I imagine they would give you a little bit of material.
All right, what we would like to see that actually. Can you put us on the spot and just get the sense of how that might go?
BURNETT: It`s going to be the Kardashians when they are really old.
HAMMER: Actually, I was also thinking "Jersey Shore" would be great fodder for you guys.
LAWRENCE: Snooki!
CONWAY: Snooki.
HAMMER: No, no, the situation. Flash your abs to everybody.
(CROSSTALK)
HAMMER: Exactly.
Tim, is there any show that`s on the there today that you think even comes close to doing what you do? Certainly, "Saturday Night Live" might come to mind, but I don`t think there`s anything out there that does what you --
CONWAY: I don`t think either. I think the test pattern would come to about as close to what we were --
BURNETT: Do they still show that?
CONWAY: No, I don`t think there`s anything in that vein.
BURNETT: Because it couldn`t be done, I don`t think today, because of the money involved. We had a 28-piece orchestra, maybe 70 costumes a week, guest stars, a rep company.
LAWRENCE: Just one of your gowns now would cost --
BURNETT: What would that cost? Just one.
HAMMER: Tim`s salary alone, I would imagine. The demands that you would make.
BURNETT: Well, we gave them car fare and lunch money.
CONWAY: I would be a holdout. No question about it. Yes.
HAMMER: Send him on his way. And now he`s going to be on the corner pedaling DVDs. And it`s all working out. But it is clearly, to me, sitting with this half hour with you guys, nothing but fond memories.
BURNETT: Thank you.
CONWAY: Thank you very much.
LAWRENCE: Very fun.
CONWAY: Delightful being here.
HAMMER: It`s been extraordinary for me having the three of you here.
CONWAY: I`m going to come in every day.
HAMMER: Yes. Would you, please? I can use all the help I can get, Tim.
Seriously, Vicki, Tim, Carol Burnett, what a pleasure. I`m going to encourage everybody to go out and pick this up as soon as you can, the incredible "Carol Burnett show," the whole collection is available on DVD. And maybe one day, I will convince you guys to come back and hang out sometime.
CONWAY: Terrific.
BURNETT: Thank you, A.J..
CONWAY: Thank you.
HAMMER: Thank you for watching. You can see SHOWBIZ TONIGHT weeknights at 11:00 p.m. Eastern and Pacific.
And of course, HLN continues right now.
END
