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CNN Sunday Morning
Interview with Jim Morris
Aired May 05, 2002 - 08:56 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: How about a little humor in the headlines.
MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Let's get Jim Morris on. He denies he invited himself on to the program. Doesn't matter. He can invite himself on anytime.
PHILLIPS: That's right.
O'BRIEN: Mi casa es su casa, Mr. Morris, and today we're talking about Bubba TV, Billy Bob Clinton doing -- what else?
PHILLIPS: That's not Jim. That's actually Mr. Clinton.
O'BRIEN: I'm sorry.
PHILLIPS: Don't you see the similarities?
O'BRIEN: Mr. Clinton, we've heard a lot of talk about the possibility of you doing a TV show. What are your thoughts on this, Mr. President?
JIM MORRIS, COMEDIAN (impersonating Bill Clinton): I just want to say it is wonderful to follow your addition of Atlanta City Limits, Kyra, you dow do a wonderful job there with the band. Let me just say that the talks with NBC didn't quite work out so I'll going with ABC. Ted Koppel has -- let me set this joke up, OK, out of character.
It didn't work out with NBC, so Ted Koppel...
O'BRIEN: Did we not give you enough stuff?
MORRIS: Beleaguered, irrelevant, I mean, he has to get his ratings up to compete with Jay Leno and Dave Letterman, I supposes we could conceivably see -- welcome to the new "Nightline."
Hello, I am Ted Koppel and say hello to our new band leader, Mr. Clinton. How are -- and he could be there with the sax, and they could talk about current events...
O'BRIEN: Was he wearing boxers or briefs, you know, something like that, right?
MORRIS (impersonating Ted Koppel): There is new trouble brewing in the Middle East. What would my band leader say about that?
(impersonating Bill Clinton): First thing I would do is, I would say that if Hillary and I could get along OK, and live together, maybe there's hope for them over there.
(impersonating Ted Koppel): What would you do if you were conducting the negotiation?
(impersonating Bill Clinton): First think I'd go is I would go over there and say I want to have a look at the lay of the land.
(impersonating Ted Koppel): Hiyoh!
(normal voice): We will see what happens. They still have yet to agree on shape of a table. Maybe they should get that guy from Discovery Channel -- Hello, everybody, I'm Christopher Loel. Anything could happen. They could send Barnie the dinosaur could do the negotiating.
PHILLIPS: What about doing a show with Monica Lewinsky?
MORRIS: Maybe call it "Midnight Blue" or something like that. I don't think the American people want to see that. Maybe an infomercial would be perfect for him. Could you see that? I'm standing here in a local supermarket talking with a fairly unattractive lower middle class housewife with rotting teeth, Mr. Kraznepolski, and we're talking about toilet paper.
Would you like to try the comparison between our brand of toilet paper and the leading brand of abrasive sand paper?
Yes.
All right. Drop your pants and moon camera three. He'll do anything for attention.
O'BRIEN: Yes, he will. Did you see in the "New York Times" today there was an op/ed piece. And they were talking about, you know, he could be the next Ozzie Osbourne. Why not 24/7 Bill Clinton? There he is in Chappaqua walking around the kitchen.
PHILLIPS: Little reality TV.
O'BRIEN: Trying to bring people in to play hearts.
MORRIS (impersonating Bill Clinton): Absolutely. We have something going on in France today. Isn't there an election? A runoff election. I believe it's Jean Marie Le Pen running against Paul Von Hindenberg.
I appreciate it. I appreciate it.
O'BRIEN: How do you think the media are handling the presidency, Mr. President?
MORRIS (impersonating George W. Bush): I think pretty good. I am going to appeal to each and every American. I think we -- I'm going be a uniter not a divider. I'm going to be a joker, smoker, midnight toker. I was well prepared for this job. Don't forget that. One day back in the Nixon Administration, my daddy -- they had a bring your son to work day. And he said to me, he said, some day son all this will be yours. And I just had to say get the kid out of the office.
PHILLIPS: Jim Morris, we love you.
O'BRIEN: All right. We had George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Ted Koppel, Steve Miller, all in the past four minutes. Jim Morris, thanks for being with us.
PHILLIPS: Amazing man.
MORRIS: Thank you. Have a nice day.
O'BRIEN: You too.
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