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CNN Sunday Morning

Interview With Jim Morris

Aired December 29, 2002 - 10:50   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


FREDRICKA WHITFIELD, CNN ANCHOR: 2002 has been a memorable year, politically in the United States. So what does political impressionist, Jim Morris, think about what's gone on this year? I understand it's given you an awful lot of fodder for some humor this year starting with our president, yes?
JIM MORRIS, POLITICAL IMPRESSIONIST: Yes. Hello madder, hello fader. President Bush was 28 percent there.

WHITFIELD: Yes.

MORRIS: How about that?

WHITFIELD: I know.

MORRIS: Well, I appreciate it. I think we're going to appeal to your better interests not your darker impulses. I'm going to be a united not a divider. I'm a joker. I'm a smoker and I'm a midnight talker. And I think we're doing a pretty good job.

You notice that Hillary Clinton outranks her husband as far as popularity.

WHITFIELD: Yes, I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that she's in office right now. She got a seat on the Hill.

MORRIS: Well, yes and her wonderful husband is now a member of the Senate Spouse's Club. And you know who else is a member of that club? Bob Dole. And I'm looking forward to getting together with him because I'll tell you, I am not the type of guy to sit at home and bake cookies all day. You just order out for pizza. You should see Mr. Clinton's -- he orders out a little black book. Bob Dole will take a slice of that. Could I ask Mr. Dole a question, Fredricka?

WHITFIELD: Please do.

MORRIS: Senator Dole, why do you always refer to yourself in the third person? It's always Bob Dole thinks this, Bob Dole says that. I don't know. Go ask Bob Dole. I got no frigging idea. Can I say that word on...

WHITFIELD: You just did.

MORRIS: ... Sunday morning? I did?

WHITFIELD: You said it so eloquently as well. MORRIS: I did. We have a lot of ideas. You look at North Korea. At first, I thought this was a joke. I mean Kim Jong Il, just get him a good haircut and a PlayStation and that ought to make him happy. But we need more jokes, one liners, multiple punch line jokes, land-based surface-to-air jokes, sidewinders, side splitters and belly laughers, the most devastating joke of them all, the neutron joke, the one that leaves a leave standing but just kills the crowd. We got to get rid of him so we can deal with Saddam Hussein who's insane.

Talk about how many liters of chemical weapons he has, how many leaders do we have to destroy. We just have to destroy one leader and that's Mr. Hussein. And then, we got the problems in the Middle East with the PLO -- what is it? The Palestinian Light Orchestra or something like that. They're the black sheep in the region. Bah, bah black sheep, have you any bull? Yasser, Yasser, Yasser Arafat's full. We've got to come together and I think we're going to have a good year ahead.

WHITFIELD: Now Jim, you have a good time mocking President Bush, but you know, with him being most popular, perhaps it's because, you know, everyone can relate.

MORRIS: Everyone can relate. I mean here's a guy who -- I think his lowest moment in this past year of 2002 was when he heard that Al Gore decided not to challenge him in 2004 because well I thought that would be -- he was referring that he was going to have to relive the debates and the issues in the campaign. Well, I certainly wouldn't want that. But we have to -- you know I support women, Fredricka. I'm strongly for women. I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman.

WHITFIELD: Hear you roar. All right. Well, you know, President Bush likely consulted his dad, former president, and I understand you have been studying that quite closely, haven't you?

MORRIS: Yes, it's a great relationship. I mean in these tough times, well, I can ask my dad just about anything and he'll respond. You know I see -- you see us there in the golf cart there. That reminds me of Rene Descartes. I learned about him recently when he said -- maybe it was Neil Diamond -- "I think therefore I am," I said. And my daddy brings books to me that I can read and get up on things. But he says, "Whatever you do, stop mangling words. People are going to think you were brought up by someone who couldn't finish a complete sentence. But I tell you; you are doing a pretty good job, W.

WHITFIELD: Now, the facial expressions have to come with the mock of the dialect, yes?

MORRIS: Yes, yes. It's all part of the -- like when I do Reagan...

WHITFIELD: That's part of the whole package.

MORRIS: Like Ronald Reagan, I couldn't simply say, well, there you -- no, I have to go into it. There you go again. And you know I'll tell you, Fred -- well, what you have there, Ricka. We -- as a matter of fact, it's times like this, we have to look back and get inspiration from some of the leaders and inspirational figures of the past, such as that fellow born at the turn of the century to immigrant parents.

May I tell your viewers about this fellow? He was born to immigrant parents, parents who could not always be there to protect him from the untold hardships and dangers of the new world. This was the Horowitz family and the youngest of the boys, his name was Jerome. Well, he was eternal optimist. He saw hope where there was darkness and love where there was hate.

One day, on his very own head, saw hair where there had been none. The eternal optimist that he was, he thereafter preferred people to call him by his new name, Curly. Well, times were hard for the Horowitz brothers, especially for Curly. But his cheerful decoration and I quote, "Certainly yuck, yuck," served as a rallying cry for all down-troubled Americans.

Curly was no stranger to hardship, but he persevered and carried on despite suffering countless heavy blows at the hands of his sadistic, older brother, Moe. Well, he would just pick himself up off the ground and put his nose to that grind stone, sometimes involuntarily. His brother, Moe, would just like that and issue forth words of wisdom, which still echo down through the ages, whoop, whoop, yes, whoop.

WHITFIELD: Now, Ronnie, there was some very serious stories, too, taking place this year and that were fairly pivotal moments throughout the year. You know I don't know how do you make fun of the D.C. sniper situation?

MORRIS: Well, you don't. Well, I took one in the chest. Why can't -- no, you can't make jokes about anything like that. I am very sorry to see what had happened there. And I think one of the most insane aspects of this was they were telling the sniper where to go. They would have a map on the wall and they would say, "Well, they're blocked off at this exist and this exit." Why not go up to where that political humorist, Jim Morris, lives and starts shooting up there. That's wrong and that's your fault, people in the press, the doom and gloom peddlers, misery merchants. Let's send away those purveyors of doom and gloom and let's send in the clowns.

WHITFIELD: All right, Jim Morris, always a treasure and a treat. Thanks very much for being with us and looking back, politically speaking, the year 2002.

MORRIS: God bless you. God bless you.

WHITFIELD: All right, appreciate it. Have a Happy New Year.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired December 29, 2002 - 10:50   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
FREDRICKA WHITFIELD, CNN ANCHOR: 2002 has been a memorable year, politically in the United States. So what does political impressionist, Jim Morris, think about what's gone on this year? I understand it's given you an awful lot of fodder for some humor this year starting with our president, yes?
JIM MORRIS, POLITICAL IMPRESSIONIST: Yes. Hello madder, hello fader. President Bush was 28 percent there.

WHITFIELD: Yes.

MORRIS: How about that?

WHITFIELD: I know.

MORRIS: Well, I appreciate it. I think we're going to appeal to your better interests not your darker impulses. I'm going to be a united not a divider. I'm a joker. I'm a smoker and I'm a midnight talker. And I think we're doing a pretty good job.

You notice that Hillary Clinton outranks her husband as far as popularity.

WHITFIELD: Yes, I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that she's in office right now. She got a seat on the Hill.

MORRIS: Well, yes and her wonderful husband is now a member of the Senate Spouse's Club. And you know who else is a member of that club? Bob Dole. And I'm looking forward to getting together with him because I'll tell you, I am not the type of guy to sit at home and bake cookies all day. You just order out for pizza. You should see Mr. Clinton's -- he orders out a little black book. Bob Dole will take a slice of that. Could I ask Mr. Dole a question, Fredricka?

WHITFIELD: Please do.

MORRIS: Senator Dole, why do you always refer to yourself in the third person? It's always Bob Dole thinks this, Bob Dole says that. I don't know. Go ask Bob Dole. I got no frigging idea. Can I say that word on...

WHITFIELD: You just did.

MORRIS: ... Sunday morning? I did?

WHITFIELD: You said it so eloquently as well. MORRIS: I did. We have a lot of ideas. You look at North Korea. At first, I thought this was a joke. I mean Kim Jong Il, just get him a good haircut and a PlayStation and that ought to make him happy. But we need more jokes, one liners, multiple punch line jokes, land-based surface-to-air jokes, sidewinders, side splitters and belly laughers, the most devastating joke of them all, the neutron joke, the one that leaves a leave standing but just kills the crowd. We got to get rid of him so we can deal with Saddam Hussein who's insane.

Talk about how many liters of chemical weapons he has, how many leaders do we have to destroy. We just have to destroy one leader and that's Mr. Hussein. And then, we got the problems in the Middle East with the PLO -- what is it? The Palestinian Light Orchestra or something like that. They're the black sheep in the region. Bah, bah black sheep, have you any bull? Yasser, Yasser, Yasser Arafat's full. We've got to come together and I think we're going to have a good year ahead.

WHITFIELD: Now Jim, you have a good time mocking President Bush, but you know, with him being most popular, perhaps it's because, you know, everyone can relate.

MORRIS: Everyone can relate. I mean here's a guy who -- I think his lowest moment in this past year of 2002 was when he heard that Al Gore decided not to challenge him in 2004 because well I thought that would be -- he was referring that he was going to have to relive the debates and the issues in the campaign. Well, I certainly wouldn't want that. But we have to -- you know I support women, Fredricka. I'm strongly for women. I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman.

WHITFIELD: Hear you roar. All right. Well, you know, President Bush likely consulted his dad, former president, and I understand you have been studying that quite closely, haven't you?

MORRIS: Yes, it's a great relationship. I mean in these tough times, well, I can ask my dad just about anything and he'll respond. You know I see -- you see us there in the golf cart there. That reminds me of Rene Descartes. I learned about him recently when he said -- maybe it was Neil Diamond -- "I think therefore I am," I said. And my daddy brings books to me that I can read and get up on things. But he says, "Whatever you do, stop mangling words. People are going to think you were brought up by someone who couldn't finish a complete sentence. But I tell you; you are doing a pretty good job, W.

WHITFIELD: Now, the facial expressions have to come with the mock of the dialect, yes?

MORRIS: Yes, yes. It's all part of the -- like when I do Reagan...

WHITFIELD: That's part of the whole package.

MORRIS: Like Ronald Reagan, I couldn't simply say, well, there you -- no, I have to go into it. There you go again. And you know I'll tell you, Fred -- well, what you have there, Ricka. We -- as a matter of fact, it's times like this, we have to look back and get inspiration from some of the leaders and inspirational figures of the past, such as that fellow born at the turn of the century to immigrant parents.

May I tell your viewers about this fellow? He was born to immigrant parents, parents who could not always be there to protect him from the untold hardships and dangers of the new world. This was the Horowitz family and the youngest of the boys, his name was Jerome. Well, he was eternal optimist. He saw hope where there was darkness and love where there was hate.

One day, on his very own head, saw hair where there had been none. The eternal optimist that he was, he thereafter preferred people to call him by his new name, Curly. Well, times were hard for the Horowitz brothers, especially for Curly. But his cheerful decoration and I quote, "Certainly yuck, yuck," served as a rallying cry for all down-troubled Americans.

Curly was no stranger to hardship, but he persevered and carried on despite suffering countless heavy blows at the hands of his sadistic, older brother, Moe. Well, he would just pick himself up off the ground and put his nose to that grind stone, sometimes involuntarily. His brother, Moe, would just like that and issue forth words of wisdom, which still echo down through the ages, whoop, whoop, yes, whoop.

WHITFIELD: Now, Ronnie, there was some very serious stories, too, taking place this year and that were fairly pivotal moments throughout the year. You know I don't know how do you make fun of the D.C. sniper situation?

MORRIS: Well, you don't. Well, I took one in the chest. Why can't -- no, you can't make jokes about anything like that. I am very sorry to see what had happened there. And I think one of the most insane aspects of this was they were telling the sniper where to go. They would have a map on the wall and they would say, "Well, they're blocked off at this exist and this exit." Why not go up to where that political humorist, Jim Morris, lives and starts shooting up there. That's wrong and that's your fault, people in the press, the doom and gloom peddlers, misery merchants. Let's send away those purveyors of doom and gloom and let's send in the clowns.

WHITFIELD: All right, Jim Morris, always a treasure and a treat. Thanks very much for being with us and looking back, politically speaking, the year 2002.

MORRIS: God bless you. God bless you.

WHITFIELD: All right, appreciate it. Have a Happy New Year.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com