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CNN Sunday Morning

Special Report on Bullying

Aired April 04, 2010 - 07:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

T.J. HOLMES, CNN ANCHOR: Of course, bullying has been a hot topic, made national news recently with the death of a young lady who was bullied to death. She committed suicide. Our 30-minute special talking to parents, bullies, even judges got an amazing response yesterday from many who saw it.

SUZANNE MALVEAUX, CNN ANCHOR: And so for the next half hour, we wanted to take another look at that issue. Of course, the victims, the others who were impacted, and how to prevent it from happening to your child.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sad to even be in school right now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I would imagine that they are all jealous-

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There were four memorial pages were set up by her friends in honor of Phoebe. And these bullies went online and trashed those.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: These adults should have stepped in.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Certain faculty, staff and administrators of the high school also were alerted.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: One positive thing that comes out of this, that kids should learn to treat other kids with respect.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HOLMES: Each Saturday here, we promise to go beyond the statistics, beyond a number, beyond the big news topic of the week, and introduce you to someone who's actually experiencing the issue.

This week, meet Jaheem Herrera, a fifth grader here in Atlanta, and he was bullied. In fact, local officials say Herrera was, quote, "bullied relentlessly." His stepfather says kids called him, quote, "gay and a snitch." Herrera hanged himself with a belt last April after coming home from school. His younger sister found him.

Also this morning, meet Karl Joseph Walker-Hoover, 11 years old -- also hanged himself last year after suffering from the taunts of bullies in his Springfield, Massachusetts, school. Also, John Carmichael. Officials say he was bullied by bigger classmates. He was an eight grader. His friends say he had been picked on for years because he was short.

All these children left mothers, fathers, family members and friends.

This young man took his own life in Texas last Sunday.

We just thought they were some of the people you should know. And for the next half hour, we're having a national conversation with parents, teachers, counselors everywhere. So, if you have a school- aged child in your home, you might want to wake them up and have them take part in the program this morning. We're talking about bullying and the profound impact it can have on a child.

We have parents, experts on hand. So, if you have a question, send it to us. You know where to find us there, Facebook, Twitter, our blog, as well as Weekends@CNN.com -- Suzanne.

MALVEAUX: And, of course, part (ph) for this national conversation is the sad case of Phoebe Prince out of South Hadley, Massachusetts. The 15-year-old committed suicide back in January after enduring months of alleged brutal bullying at the hands of her schoolmates.

Our CNN's Alina Cho, she lies out the facts.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

ALINA CHO, CNN CORRESPONDENT: By all accounts, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince was fun, approachable and popular. A pretty 15-year-old transplant from Irish with a nice broad and a nice smile.

(on camera): Why on earth would people want to bully her?

NICK SHENAS, PHOEBE'S FRIEND: Jealousy probably. I would imagine they were all jealous of her because she got a lot of attention from people, positive attention.

CHO (voice-over): Nick Shenas was Prince's closest friend and pallbearer at her funeral. He says the cryptic explanation the D.A. gave about why she was allegedly bullied --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It appears to have been motivated by the group's displeasure with Phoebe's brief dating relationship with a male student.

CHO: -- to friends is clear.

SHENAS: It was just a whole secret thing. I don't know.

CHO (on camera): They were dating in secret?

SHENAS: Yes. CHO (voice-over): Shenas says Prince, a freshman, caught the eye of a senior, a football player, Sean Mulveyhill. The two started dating. But Mulveyhhill, he says, already had a girlfriend, Kayla Narey, another student at South Hadley High School.

If the two look familiar, that's because Mulveyhill and Narey are among the nine students facing criminal charges in connection with Prince's death.

(on camera): When you saw this on the front page of the "Boston Herald" today, what did you think?

DARBY O'BRIEN, PRINCE FAMILY'S SPOKESMAN: True. That's been the fight since the beginning.

CHO (voice-over): Darby O'Brien is a spokesman for Prince's family.

O'BRIEN: The word "bullying" is not even accurate. I mean, really, when you look at what happened with her, it's persecution. I mean, this thing was a hate crime.

CHO: Prosecutors say verbal and physical abuse so severe every day and over several months that on January 14th, Prince took her own life.

In addition to the taunts she allegedly endured in the hallways and school library in plain view of faculty, more details are emerging about her final walk home.

(on camera): She walked home --

O'BRIEN: A car went by. And threw -- one of the girls threw an energy drink at her. And they yelled out of the car, "You Irish slut, you Irish whore." I mean, supposedly said, "Why don't you kill herself?"

CHO (voice-over): So, when the 15-year-old arrived home --

O'BRIEN: She walked in the house, took the scarf her sister gave her for Christmas and hung herself.

CHO: An act that only ended her life but shattered the community -- people like Shenas' mother, Susan Smith.

SUSAN SMITH, SHENAS' MOTHER: I could not imagine it, honestly. It's unimaginable. And to happen in your own town, a mile from your house, it's unimaginable.

CHO: How could this happen? Why didn't anyone stop it?

Shenas says because Prince was able to hide behind her smile.

SHENAS: It's just like a sense of shock and disbelief just that something like that could happen to a close friend. CHO (on camera): What also is becoming clear is that bullying appears to be part of the culture, the attitude: "not my town, not my kid."

But that attitude appears to be shifting. Parents are outraged and they're calling for the principal and the superintendent to resign.

Alina Cho, CNN, South Hadley, Massachusetts.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

MALVEAUX: We'll have more reaction from South Hadley School officials in just a moment.

In all, a total of nine students have been indicted in connection with Phoebe Prince's suicide, charges ranging from statutory rape to criminal harassment -- civil rights violations. Three of those students go to court on Tuesday. Now, as for South Hadley School officials, they say they only knew about Phoebe Prince's bullying problem a week before her suicide. And the school system's investigation is continuing.

HOLMES: And, unfortunately, we are seeing more and more stories like this all over the country of kids being bullied every day. One mom in Washington says her daughter is being bullied for the past couple of years. She's now fighting the school to take action.

Susan is on the line with us. We're only going to use her first name for the sake of the family, protection of her daughter.

Susan, thank you for hopping on the phone with us and being apart of the conversation this morning. But, ma'am, what does that feel like? You say your daughter who's in sixth grade now has been bullied since she was in the fourth grade.

What is it like for two years, as a parent, to have to have your child come home every day and listen to what she's enduring at school?

SUSAN, MOTHER OF BULLIED DAUGHTER (via telephone): It's very difficult. My daughter spends as much time at school with this bully as she does with me at home. And when she comes home and she tells me in tears what happened through the day that she feels worthless, as a parent, you look at her and you're just heartbroken, because you see the potential in your child. And you're afraid that she's never going to be able to reach it.

HOLMES: Ma'am, what happens that some of this stuff and -- you know, kids can be mean, that's one thing. But what do you hear that makes this sound like this is not just a kid being picked on or called a name, but your child and this bullying goes a step beyond that?

SUSAN: This bully and her friend surround my daughter. And, you know, four or five of them at a time won't let her leave and they taunt her. Or if she tries to leave, they grab her arm. And they usually do it when there is no one looking -- no playground duty, no teacher. It's way beyond teasing someone about what they wear or who they are.

HOLMES: Well, ma'am, how do you go about as a parent? And I'm sure a lot of parents are listening to this and curious to how you might answer it. How do you go about keeping your child's spirits up when she's probably some days does not even want to walk out the front door and go to school?

SUSAN: It is difficult. But I keep reminding her that no one can tell her who she is except her. That she has to find a way to realize that she is who she is. And these children, I tell her we should feel sorry for them in way because they haven't learned how to love someone or how to be kind. And it is difficult for me because the first response you want in front of your child is usually anger. And you want it to stop.

HOLMES: And, ma'am, we know you have been trying with the school district and the school to try to get some help and complaining about what's happening to her. But one final question to you, and that is given some of the stories we've seen, unfortunately, these kids taking their own lives -- do you ever worry about your child hurting herself?

SUSAN: You know, I do, and more recently, because of what's been happening. But I think that if I keep talking to her and she feels like she has an ally in me, I hope that we can make it through this.

HOLMES: Well, ma'am, thank you so much for hopping on and being part of the conversation. We might have you back her to be a part of some the Q&A we're going to have with a couple of our experts here. But thank you so much and good luck to you and your daughter and your family.

We do want to let our viewers know, we reached out to school officials about this particular case, Susan's case. We want to let you know what they had to say in relation.

They say the school district and the elementary school are "committed to maintaining a safe and civil educational environment for all students that is free of harassment, intimidation and bullying. We take these types of complaints very seriously. Students who feel bullied or harassed should report the incident to their school's administrator. Matters brought to the school's attention will be investigated and handled with due process."

MALVEAUX: And still to come, we have an expert that can help parents who are dealing with a child being bullied. We talked with Jodee Blanco. She was bullied herself and is now traveling the country to help others.

And we also have famed TV judge, Glenda Hatchett here in the studio to help answer some questions.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MALVEAUX: We are continuing our national conversation on bullying.

I want you to meet Jodee Blanco. She says that she was threatened, beaten, dragged across the parking lot, burned with cigarettes, taunted and teased for years. Jodee survived and she is now the author of "Please Stop Laughing at Me." She joins us live from Chicago this morning.

Jodee, you wrote a very eye-opening article on our CNN.com opinion page this week. I want to read a line, if I can.

JODEE BLANCO, BULLIED IN MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL: Please. Thank you.

MALVEAUX: You say, "I was mocked in gym, snickered at class, ambushed at sleepovers and spit-balled on the school bus. My adolescence was a living hell. It backed up into my system like a toxin and poisoned my spirit."

Jodee, first of all, I want to thank you for having the courage to come and talk about your story, obviously, it's so much -- it's easier as adults. We get through these things, we survive. And there are so many kids who don't understand that you could ever get to that point; that it's going to be OK.

And you had listened -- you heard this caller Susan. She's very concerned about her sixth grade daughter who's being bullied and teased out of Washington State.

And I want to give Susan an opportunity to ask you a question if you could -- Susan.

SUSAN: Yes, hello. If you could talk to my daughter directly, what would you tell her to keep her spirits up so that she can get through this?

BLANCO: This is what I have to say to your daughter: Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you. It is everything that is right about you that's making you a target of these mean kids. And I don't want you to change for anyone, because it is these kids who are putting you down and excluding you, they are the ones who need to change, sweetheart. Not you.

And I also have something, Susan, to say to you that I want you to listen to very carefully, OK? Yes, you have to deal with the school, and yes, eventually, you'll have to deal with the parents of the bullies -- that's all true. But the first thing that needs to be done is to tend to your child, because the bullied child is bleeding. And they're bleeding in the form of loneliness.

And one of my best recommendations to parents is that you create an interim social life, context of park district and the local library, the nearest next town over that does not cede into the child's school. Get a list of their organized activities for kids. Go through it with your daughter. Let her pick something she would love to participate in, and enroll her. But it's got to be one town over, because the whole purpose is that your daughter gets a sense of a whole fresh start with brand new faces. And this interim social life will give her something to look forward to. The new friendships with new people will boost her confidence, make her less of a target at school, and that will buy you the time you need to deal with the school.

And if the school doesn't respond, go to the school board meeting. They have one every month. They have to listen to you. It's a public meeting --

MALVEAUX: Jodee --

BLANCO: --and plead your case there.

MALVEAUX: I want to ask you really quick, Jodee -- should they leave the school? Should the student leave the school, the girl leaves the school where she is now and just get a fresh start somewhere else? Do you think that that's the best way to handle it?

BLANCO: I don't always recommend transferring schools because who you are goes with you wherever you go. And if for some reason, a child is then excluded or picked on at the next school, it makes them feel as if they failed twice.

(CROSSTALK)

MALVEAUX: So, you got to deal with the situation there. OK.

BLANCO: Yes. And that's why I recommend the interim social life, that if you can get them another social life outside of school with kids they don't go to school with, that's why you go one town over, that gives them a lifeline while things at the school can be worked out. If there's no way to work it out the school, then you transfer. But try an interim social life as a measure first.

MALVEAUX: OK. Jodee Blanco, we got to leave it there. Thank you very much for your time and your insights. I really appreciate it.

BLANCO: Thank you.

MALVEAUX: Well, in some cases, kids are actually being charged with bullying. Next, we're going to talk to Judge Hatchett. Many of you know her by her television show. She used to preside over Georgia's largest juvenile court before hitting the screen.

And her advice to some of you and she's also going to be taking your questions. I have received them. We have Facebook. We have Twitter. I am pulling them as we speak. I'm going to pose them directly to her -- that's coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

HOLMES: Well, as we've learned, schools often don't or can't go far enough in punishing bullies or changing their behavior. Many cases, their acts or crimes, and some judges say they need to be treated like criminals if they're going to turn their lives around.

And for Judge Glenda Hatchett, it's worked.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GLENDA HATCHETT, HOST, "JUDGE HATCHETT": I don't care if it's a punch or back hand, why did you beat up on her?

Don't roll your eyes in here, boy. Oh, do not! Oh, you're messing with the wrong person here today. This can be fixed because my instincts tell me that deep down in his soul, this is a good kid.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HOLMES: Judge Hatchett is here with us. She's been on a judicial career, now, a television show helping troubled kids get back on the right path. She is here in studio with us to help us with this.

Good morning.

HATCHETT: Good morning.

HOLMES: Good to have you here.

HATCHETT: It is great to be here with you this morning. Thank you.

HOLMES: We're getting a great response to this topic today.

I want to start with this question that you probably get and we hear oftentimes -- kids have been bullying each other since the invention of kids.

HATCHETT: Absolutely.

HOLMES: OK. So, what is going on now that's different? Is it getting tougher, or is this social media stuff and all the texting making it easier?

HATCHETT: I think it's a combination of a lot of things. What happened is that when, you know, I was a kid, my hair might get pulled. I might get teased.

But now, the texting is not just me, 50 kids, 100 kids, 1,000 kids know that I'm being bullied. And it just takes on a life of its own. And when this becomes viral, it becomes far more intense.

And so, we're not only seeing the emotional bullying and the physical bullying, we're seeing what we're now referring to as cyber bullying. And that's the whole another dimension that's very new for us.

HOLMES: But, is that making all the difference? It's not fair to say the kids are getting meaner these days, are they? HATCHETT: Well, I don't know that they're getting any meaner these days. I do think that we are perhaps seeing more pressure on kids because of the whole dynamic of the scene having changed. And kids really are being tormented. They are.

HOLMES: We're going to get to -- and I promised and they started sending questions in. So, I want to make sure I get to some that people sent it.

HATCHETT: Absolutely.

HOLMES: One from our Facebook page, Diahanna Kinley (ph). She says -- is asking "What is the best way for a child to deal with the bully?" What do you do?

HATCHETT: Well, the first thing is that you have to talk to your children. And you have to say, listen, don't suffer on this. You are not alone.

Our children have to know that they're not alone. The tragedy that we have seen and particularly that you're focusing on this morning is that suicide ought not be the answer for bullying. A child shouldn't feel that's their only way out of this.

And so, encourage your kids. These are teachable moments, T.J., have your kids sit down, talk to you, and then intervene.

Go to the school. Talk to the counselors. Talk to the teachers. Talk to the principals. You know, weigh in on your child's behalf.

HOLMES: Now, that's about the teacher and the parent getting involved. And that's about, that kind of intervening. But what about the child, that moment you're being called that name or when you're getting that text. How is the child supposed to respond?

HATCHETT: Yes. Well, actually, what you need to do is you need to try to pull yourself away from the situation. You know, some parents say I tell my kids that they just need to fight back, fight back. But then that escalates. So, now, you got two kids in court on an assault charge perhaps. And so, that's the risk that you run.

And I encourage parents to tell their kids to try to pull out of the situation and put some room in it until we can resolve it.

HOLMES: So, you can hit on our next question here that came to us on Twitter from B. Leak that says, "Is it the best way to do this? Is it best to just get up and move, give your child a fresh start somewhere or teach them to fight through it?"

And you do -- I know you've heard parents say, you got to stand up for yourself.

HATCHETT: Yes, you got to stand up. In fact, I had one parent say to me that she told her kid, either you fight or I'm going to beat you when you get home. And so, I don't encourage that. I don't encourage that because that can get out of hand. I don't think you get up and move your family. I don't -- because then what happens when it happens at the next school? I mean, you got to be realistic about this. But I think that fighting and the whole aggression and that escalating is a dangerous path to get down.

HOLMES: And you have a method as well that you're trying to fight back, not physically. But still you -- what are you trying to do starting next week?

HATCHETT: Yes. Actually, I just launch a new program called Parentpowernow.com and I'm so excited about it. And it's a community online where parents and influences of children come together and we talk about these issues.

So, literally, Monday night at 10:00, I'm doing a live call. You can register at Parentpowernow.com for the call. And we're dealing with these issues of bullying, talking about strategies.

And we're also talking to parents who have children who are bullying, because this is a piece that works both sides. What responsibilities do we have when we know that our children are engaged in this kind of conduct?

HOLMES: Well, we will be looking on Monday. Again, such an important topic. We're getting a great response from.

Judge Glenda Hatchett, I might to try to talk you onto sticking around. We're going to take --

HATCHETT: Absolutely.

HOLMES: We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

MALVEAUX: And we know there are a lot of parents out there who are concerned about their child's safety, especially if he or she is the target of a bully. But you may not know is just how serious the federal government is taking the problem.

Our Josh Levs is joining us with some real eye-opening information -- Josh.

JOSH LEVS, CNN CORRESPONDENT: A lot of parents out there, Suzanne and T.J., are turning to the Web, looking what do we do -- and the government has this Web site here called "Stop Bullying Now." It has a lot -- it's packed with information. One thing they're doing is they have these cartoons.

Take a look here.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CARTOON CHARACTER: Check this out. I'm going to squeeze this pudding down Weemie Weenie's shirt.

CARTOON CHARACTER: OK if I join you, Milton?

CARTOON CHARACTER: Yes, sure.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

LEVS: All right. So, you're seeing there, another friend goes to help the kid who has been bullied. They have tons of them. They're called webisodes.

And along with this, they have information for young people, information for parents, and information for teachers. I don't think I've ever seen a government Web site this packed with advice. I encourage you to check it out, Stop Bullying Now.

Come back to my screen if you can. I want to show you all two more Web sites that you should check out when you're going online and you don't need to write this one, because we're posting all of it for you.

Check out this one from PACER. This one is called Teens Against Bullying. And this is packed with information specifically for teens -- what to do if you're in the older age group, you're really suffering, how do you handle this, what do you talk to, what words do you use.

And finally, the Web site we just learned about this morning from Judge Hatchett. Take a look at this. She was just telling you about this, Parentpowernow.com. She's lending her voice. This is going to be another Web site, hopefully, doing its part.

We can see a lot of people working these online resources to try to get you empowered to know what to do for you kid, to know what to do in school. And you know what else? To help notice if maybe your kid might be a bully, you didn't even realize it.

All these right here and how do you find all the links? They're right here on my -- you know what -- there you. Thanks, guys. It's all in my Facebook page right now, JoshLevsCNN. I'm going to add a link to Judge Hatchett's site.

So, T.J. and Suzanne, we'll make sure parents out there have these and hopefully get some help.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

HOLMES: And more top stories at the top of the hour when CNN SUNDAY MORNING continues.

MALVEAUX: But, first, "SANJAY GUPTA, M.D." begins after this.