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CNN Saturday Morning News

How to Eliminate Stress in the Back-to-School Season

Aired August 18, 2001 - 08:36   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
MARTIN SAVIDGE, CNN ANCHOR: It is back to school and stress galore for some parents and kids alike. But some of the risks that cause stress can be eliminated. With tips on how to do that is Margaret Sagarese. She joins us now from New York. She has been a preteen -- she has a preteen -- she was a preteen. She's also an expert on iVillage's Parent Soup Web site and co-author of the book "The Rollercoaster Years: Raising Your Child Through The Maddening Yet Magical Middle School Years."

Good morning to you. Thank you very much for joining us this morning, Margaret.

MARGARET SAGARESE, AUTHOR: Good morning, Martin.

SAVIDGE: I have just sent my children back to school and I can relate that it is a very stressful kind of time. And risk is something that we talk about, here. And one of the things I noted as I watched my children pack up their books every morning is they look like they're going off for a polar expedition. The backpacks are just bulging these days and rolling backpacks, are they still the thing in the future here?

SAGARESE: Well, it depends upon your child. I know when I suggested rolling backpacks, my daughter told me nobody rolls their backpack, mom.

But other areas, they're very popular. Backpack style has to be something that you and your child agree on. But the safety issues...

SAVIDGE: But, how do you do that, though? How do you come up with agreement, here? You've got a child that says, hey, it isn't cool to roll. So, where do you put your foot down, if that's what you want to say?

SAGARESE: Well, safety. Whatever backpack they choose, whether it's a good backpack or an Aaron Carter backpack, make sure they balance and they wear it properly.

Sometimes they sling it over one shoulder. Wrong. Make sure they wear it both shoulders, fastened at the waist, because the back packs are designed to be worn properly and then they're safer.

Also, common sense on how many books. Especially middle school. SAVIDGE: Another issue. Let me ask you on another issue. And this is what happens after school. In many cases, children come home, older children, still, but they come home to an empty house. The latch-key syndrome, here. How does a parent try to ease their way into this? They would like to be there, but obviously they cannot be there.

SAGARESE: Well, this is a big issue because parents have so much guilt. I mean, school used to be exciting, now it's guilt and fear and dread. Use technology. Beepers, cell phones, set up a ritual so that when your child comes home you have that time when you know, I'm going to call you or you're going to call me. Set up a routine, whether it's homework, an after-school television show, time with friends, and look into your schools. Many schools have after school programs. They have homework clubs, sports. Let your child have an organized after school activity routine.

SAVIDGE: You mentioned the electronics, there, the beepers, the cell phones, the going in with some cases laptop computers, there. How much of this is really beneficial to the child and how much is just, just a technology over-burden?

SAGARESE: Well, the technology for our generation, it conjures up a lot of dread because we're kind of technophobes, because we know our kids understand it all better than we do.

But use technology. It's wonderful. I mean, it is there to help you and your child. Most schools have rules about cell phones and beepers. They're not allowed to go off in class. But these are still good items.

Laptops are wonderful. Some schools use them, some schools don't. But look into technology and let your child show you the way.

SAVIDGE: Real quickly here, but very sensitive issue. The issue of danger in schools. I covered a number of the school shootings. I had a conversation with my six-year-old on this very sensitive topic. How do you talk to a child about this in today's day and age, and the danger at school?

SAGARESE: This is probably the most worrisome agenda that we all have to deal with as parents. My daughter is now in high school and my husband is a high school teacher, and I worry about both of them, as every mother and father does in your audience. But don't take your fear and pump it into a child, especially an elementary school child. Their safety is the responsibility of adults, so make sure your school is safe.

I mean, I do a lot of talks in a lot of schools, and a simple thing like who greets you at the door -- I have walked into many schools in the back entrance, because I'm lost, or in a side entrance, and my co-author and I look at each other and say, where is the security?

So, these issues are your responsibility. Look to the PTA. Look to the administrators. Let your child know if you see anything that disturbs you, reach out to an adult. But don't pump your child full of talk about guns and violence and anger and knives, because children need a sense of security in order to be able to learn.

SAVIDGE: That they do. Margaret Sagarese, thank you very much for joining us this morning. She's a preteen expert on iVillage's Parent Soup Web site. Thank you for the very good advice.

SAGARESE: Thanks for having me.

SAVIDGE: You're welcome.

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