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CNN Saturday Morning News
The Bonds of Friendship and Family
Aired December 29, 2001 - 11:37 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: This next story is about the bonds of friendship and family. It's the story of two men who met by chance, became pals, then discovered a much deeper connection. Reporter Steve Wiczek of CNN affiliate WFSB has the details.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
GARY KLAHR: I couldn't have had a better father, and truthfully, I am Gary Klahr, the glassman's son.
STEVE WICZEK, WFSB CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): For many people, the holidays are a time to spend with friends and family. And if you ask Gary Klahr of Wilton, he'll tell you friends and family are sometimes one and the same.
That's what he found three years ago, when he discovered his best friend of 25 years, Steven Barbin, was also his biological brother.
KLAHR: I said "wait a minute. If you're doing to tell me that Steve Barbin is really my brother biologically, who's been my best friend for over half my life, you'd be giving me the greatest gift in the world."
CAROLYN KLAHR, GARY'S WIFE: The first words out of my mouth were "I knew it!" They are just -- they are so much alike.
WICZEK: The story began when Klahr was adopted as an infant, something his dad Ben and mom, Marge, never told him. Fast forward 30 years to the mid-1970s, and Gary met Steven in a Norwalk, Connecticut bar, a mere chance meeting.
STEVE BARBIN: It was a very strange bond in the sense that we felt like brothers, pretty much from the beginning.
WICZEK: Gary even served as Steven's best man when he got married in 1988. But it wasn't until a fateful phone call from a DCF caseworker in 1999 that Gary learned about his true background and the biological bond.
KLAHR: Incredulous. I mean, I was stunned.
WICZEK: They say truth is stranger than fiction, and Gary Klahr has learned a lot about his family's truth, including the fact he has 12 brothers and sisters. It's a subject he now plans to write about in his true life book.
KLAHR: What I've learned is that all families have issues. Nothing is as it seems.
WICZEK (on camera): In case you're wondering, Gary says he has been in contact with most of his siblings. He's become quite close with six of them.
In Hartford, Steve Wiczek for CNN.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PHILLIPS: And here they are, Steve Barbin and Gary Klahr. They join me now from Hartford, Connecticut. Hi, guys.
BARBIN: Hi.
KLAHR: Happy New Year, Kyra.
PHILLIPS: Happy New Year.
BARBIN: Same here, Kyra.
PHILLIPS: I am so blown away by this story. It's absolutely amazing. All right, so you guys meet in a bar in 1975. Kind of set the scene for me, if you will.
BARBIN: Well, we were out with a few different friends from each of a different group of that, but we kind of put the tables together, a few guys that were just having a good time with each other and had a few steaks and that and we kind of gelled as a group.
And then what happened after that over the -- as the months went by, we'd get together and do it a few times again here and there and then, Gary and I started talking to each other more one-on-one and found, you know, a mutual connection on things, and we became close, discussing many different topics and I think that was the foundation for what was to come over the next, you know, 25 years.
PHILLIPS: Gary, did you kind of feel this sort of weird connection with Steve when you guys met or?
KLAHR: Yes. No, it was pretty amazing, Kyra. From the first night we met and we shared this nice evening, Steve and myself and two other friends, one from my circle, one from his. Yes, we became very, very good friends very, very quickly and it kind of developed from there. It always was kind of a unique bond.
PHILLIPS: Did either one of you know that you were adopted? I think I heard in the piece, Steve, you knew you were adopted?
BARBIN: Yes. I knew from pretty much the beginning that I was adopted. I had no other brothers and sisters. I was raised an only child. But yes, I had full knowledge of that.
PHILLIPS: So the parents that raised you, did you ever ask questions about your biological parents or possible brothers and sisters? Did they ever tell you anything?
BARBIN: No, unbelievably or not, I mean they told me I was adopted. I understood what the concept meant, and I really never had any great urge to find out anything more, other than that because they -- we had such a good relationship, my mom and my dad, that I was never that inquisitive either way.
KLAHR: Kyra.
PHILLIPS: Yes.
KLAHR: I never really knew an adopted person before, and when I met Steven, one of the interesting points to the story is, within the first year of our friendship and he told me he was adopted and he had a wonderful mom and dad, and his dad is deceased, and his mom Jean is really, trust me, very, very beautiful person.
I had asked him if he ever, you know, was curious about finding out where he had come from, and just what he said. He said "you know what, I got a great mom and dad and I'm glad I have them and I have no interest in really knowing my biology." He's always felt very comfortable.
PHILLIPS: Now Gary, what about your parents? Why didn't they tell you you were adopted?
KLAHR: Well, they certainly didn't tell me for almost 53 years. Doing my research and some of it's conjecture, but I think perhaps in the times that I was adopted, I was raised Jewish, and our biological parents were not Jewish, and perhaps, again conjecture, but in those times both of my sets of my grandparents were Orthodox Jewish.
And I think perhaps there may have been a little bit of a problem not coming biologically from a Jewish woman. That might be one of the issues. It's one of my little theories I have.
PHILLIPS: Wow, well Gary, so then you got this call from the State Department. Were you thinking "OK, this is just impossible. This is too weird?" Gary?
KLAHR: Oh hi, Kyra. I'm sorry.
PHILLIPS: That's OK.
KLAHR: Live TV, I love it. Live television. Wake up brother.
BARBIN: Wake up.
PHILLIPS: Yes, you're still taken by it. I understand. It is pretty bizarre.
KLAHR: No. Yes, sometimes I hear myself say things that are really quite astounding even now. I'm sorry go ahead, give me your question.
PHILLIPS: So you got the call from the State Department. KLAHR: Right.
PHILLIPS: What was your reaction?
KLAHR: Well, the lady basically within a few minutes of getting -- we had played phone tag for about 10 days and when she got me, literally tomorrow is the third anniversary of the phone call, December 30th.
She basically said within two minutes "Gary, do you know that you're an adopted child?" And basically, my jaw dropped and I said "no. You must have the wrong Gary Klahr." And she absolutely in another couple of minutes convinced me.
You know, she obviously had the proof and the paperwork and the documentation, and the story was true. There was no, you know, running away from it. And you know, there were further twists to the tale as she unraveled it for me.
PHILLIPS: Wow. So Steve, tell me how you and your brother are a lot alike. Obviously, you know, you're best friends, but tell me about some similarities.
BARBIN: He's bigger than me.
KLAHR: Yes, right.
BARBIN: We both have a very good sense of humor, and on top of that, we have a very good self deprecating sense of humor.
KLAHR: Self deprecating.
BARBIN: You know we both, we have tendencies to worry about things and maybe we'll discuss and get a little deeper into topics of things that we find we like to discuss. Gary being an actor, and me always being a fan, I've always enjoyed accompanying him on certain things, never in front of the camera, but enjoy watching what goes on behind it.
And just the way we think, we've always kind of felt that if we could be in a room together, we kind of know what each one may be thinking.
KLAHR: Yes.
BARBIN: Now in terms of differences, my brother can be a little louder, a little more opinionated.
KLAHR: Me?
BARBIN: Me, I'm a little more quiet with everything. And you know, things that you just find over the years that you kind of relate to and know that you kind of complement. It's like a ball that's come together. Some of the things that he has that I don't and vice versa, we're like the yin and yang of each other sometimes.
KLAHR: Absolutely.
PHILLIPS: And Gary says you have the same barber too?
BARBIN: Yes, we do.
KLAHR: Mine gives a closer shave though.
PHILLIPS: All right, so you guys, tell me about your brothers and your sisters. How many kids were in your family from your biological parents? How many kids did your mom have, and how many brothers and sisters have you reunited with and been able to sort of become a family with, I guess?
KLAHR: Who would you like to answer the question, Kyra.
PHILLIPS: Go ahead, Gary.
KLAHR: OK. Well, we were -- I was #7 of 13 children. Steven comes, you're #12.
BARBIN: 12.
KLAHR: Steven's #12. And what we found out, you know, as we kind of delved further into the story that, you know, our parents basically gave up nine of us and we went to various, you know, homes, different religions, you know, different last names. And as of today, there are six of us who I really believe were real solid.
We have, of course, Steven and myself, our brother Richard, our sister Mica, our sister Adrienne, all of us are pretty much in or around the greater Bridgeport area and we have a lovely sister Joan who lives in Florida. And the six of us are real, real tight.
One of the -- I guess one of the sad parts of the story is, as I started to really unravel this tale, and I had this curiosity to find out where I came from, something that Steven, as I said before, kind of never did. I bonded really well.
We all bonded together very, very well, but as I started to really work on this story, two brothers who stayed within the biological unit their whole life, and two sisters who were also adopted out as we were, really pulled away from the rest of us.
And perhaps in a sense, I was the catalyst that made them pull away. I think they thought I was going to tell some horrid, sorted tale and I will say to anybody who's seen anything we've done up to this point in time, I defy anybody to tell me that it's gone that way.
We've kept it light, positive. There is a darkness to the story, but I would only say that will be in the book.
PHILLIPS: Wow. Well I do know your biological parents passed away, didn't even get to see or know about this reunion. But Steve, let me ask you. Your mom, Jean, what does she think about all of this?
BARBIN: My mother is just -- she thinks it's absolutely wonderful. She's a wonderful person.
KLAHR: Yes.
BARBIN: She's been a wonderful mother to me. She is very, you know, my mom is 81 years old. She's always been a progressive thinker and she just thinks this is -- she just thinks it's fabulous and of course, to learn that everything was just kind of shocking to her.
But to find out that Gary, who she's known over the years, is my brother was just something that blew her away, except that she's always loved Gary, but it was just something that she couldn't believe until weeks later when the proof actually rolled in.
PHILLIPS: So do you ever fight like brothers?
BARBIN: Do we ever what?
PHILLIPS: Do you ever fight like brothers?
BARBIN: No, never.
KLAHR: Verbally.
BARBIN: We verbally do and we give and take like that and everything.
KLAHR: Oh we do, do we?
BARBIN: No we don't.
PHILLIPS: I see a road act happening here.
KLAHR: Absolutely.
PHILLIPS: Not only a movie and a book. Hey you guys, Gary and Steve, thanks so much for coming on and sharing your story. It's awesome. It's really neat.
KLAHR: Kyra, thanks a lot and I'd just like to say hello to my mother, Marjorie, who lives in Atlanta and thanks for giving me a good home.
PHILLIPS: Oh, very nice. I'll have to look Marjorie up in Atlanta then.
KLAHR: Absolutely, Kyra. Happy New Year.
PHILLIPS: All right. Happy New Year to you guys too.
BARBIN: Kyra, thank you.
KLAHR: Thanks a lot.
BARBIN: Bye. Bye.
PHILLIPS: You bet, thank you. TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com
