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CNN Saturday Morning News

Discussion With Widow of First American to Die in Afghan Combat

Aired September 14, 2002 - 09:22   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

CATHERINE CALLAWAY, CNN ANCHOR: The first American to die in combat in Afghanistan was CIA agent Mike Spann. He, of course, was killed during a prison uprising in Mazar-e Sharif last November. He is survived by three children and his wife, Shannon Spann, who also works for the CIA.
She is joining us this morning from Washington.

Shannon, thank you so much for being with us.

SHANNON SPANN, WIDOW OF MIKE SPANN: Thank you for having me.

CALLAWAY: I know this has been an emotional week for most of the U.S., but particularly for you. What got you through this week?

SPANN: You know, it -- of course, Americans all across the nation and really the world were anticipating September 11 with a variety of emotions. But certainly I think one of the things that really helped me has been the gratitude of the American people.

You know, they really expressed how grateful they are for Mike's service to our country and the fact that he believed so strongly in the sort of hopefulness that the American set of ideals offers to the world community, you know, gives me strength that he really participated in something worthy.

On the morning of September 11 I went to Arlington, which is, of course, where Mike is buried, and just spent some time alone there. And I was really blessed to see people had been there before me, and someone had folded up a copy of the Gettysburg Address, which, of course, played an important role, those words did, on our day of remembering on September 11.

And it really -- but it really just made me feel special. Those words are very powerful, certainly expressing that by these honored dead, you know, we, as Americans, need to take an increased measure of devotion towards the task that lies before us.

And I just was really blessed by whoever did that for Mike and for me. It was really very special.

CALLAWAY: Anonymously done, too. How special -- that is very special.

SPANN: Yes. CALLAWAY: Let's talk about your children. You have a 15-month- old son with Mike, little Jack. and you also have two other children, Mike's children, Emily and Allison, with you.

SPANN: Right.

CALLAWAY: Does Jack look like Mike?

SPANN: He does indeed. He looks very much like him. And I'm always hoping that when he gets old that he'll sound like him, you know? Sometimes -- do you know how that's like when you talk to a child that really sounds like their parent? So I just think that would be very special for me.

CALLAWAY: I know that Mike was known for being reserved with a really dry sense of humor.

SPANN: Yes.

CALLAWAY: I mean, how is -- how are you going to preserve the memory of Mike with Jack and Emily and Allison, but especially Jack? He's so young?

SPANN: Yes. We had -- well, just the most wonderful set of colleagues at CIA that wrote to him lots of letters when Mike was first killed, really preserving specific memories of the sort of things that his father did in training, or -- and I've had lots of letters from Marines who Mike served with that have set down for me very specific stories of funny things that he did or brave things that he did, encouraging things that he did.

And I'm going to save all of those things for all of the children. And when they are older, more able to understand the contribution that their father made and the kind of person he was, I think those will be very special to them.

CALLAWAY: I'm sure they will. Shannon, you heard a lot from Mike from Afghanistan, didn't you, before his death?

SPANN: Much more than we had expected to.

CALLAWAY: You were able to speak with him a number of times?

SPANN: Yes, he was able to call, which was a surprise to me. We had sort of said our good-byes when he left, and I expected to rather hear from him when he returned home. But he was able to call about once a week. And we talked to him -- the last time we talked was on Thanksgiving Day.

CALLAWAY: It never occurred to you he might not be coming home.

SPANN: On some level, I think there was something inside me that maybe knew, because when I talked to him on Thanksgiving, when I put down the phone, I just burst into tears, and I had never done that before. He had called for weeks before that happened. And I don't know, there was something inside me that knew something about that conversation was different.

Surely one never likes to really look that in the eye and believe it. But -- I don't know, it seemed like there was something in me that maybe knew.

CALLAWAY: And certainly knew the risk. You are a CIA operative yourself. In fact, Shannon, you're a spy, I hate to say this, but your cover has been blown.

SPANN: Yes, yes. That's become very apparent to me.

CALLAWAY: Yes, worldwide, I'm quite sure. What now? Are you going to return to the CIA, you going to go back to work?

SPANN: (UNINTELLIGIBLE)...

CALLAWAY: I know you have been on leave.

SPANN: Yes. I'm hoping to stay on leave for a little while longer. I think there's been a lot going on, of course, with the children and my family. And as we have approached fall and sort of the anniversary of Mike's leaving for Afghanistan and his death, it's very emotionally hard.

So I think we're going to try to put that off until after the holidays. But I certainly do need to get back to work to support my family. And certainly I am blessed that since I need to work now, that I have such meaningful work to go back to.

CALLAWAY: And so you plan on returning?

SPANN: I do. Obviously in a...

(CROSSTALK)

SPANN: ... different capacity. Yes, yes, although my bosses don't know that I'm hoping to come back after the holidays. So...

CALLAWAY: They do now, Shannon.

SPANN: ... (UNINTELLIGIBLE), they know, indeed they do.

CALLAWAY: Now, we are under an orange alert. You know, and certainly no one would take that more seriously than you, who know -- you know, you certainly know the risk and potential loss that this war can bring.

You know, where do you get your encouragement to get through these times?

SPANN: Well, certainly I have tried to be very frank about the fact that Mike and I are Christians, we have -- take a lot of strength from our faith in Christ. The Bible says that God is a very present help in times of trouble, and I know that to be true, I experience it every day. I'm very blessed. In fact, I was reading my Bible last night. The last verse of Romans 12 says, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

And this is really very thematic for Mike's service to our country and for our life this last year, and I get a lot of strength through that.

CALLAWAY: Well, Shannon, it is wonderful to see you doing so well. I'm sure the children are doing well. I know they have -- will always have great memories of Mike.

SPANN: (UNINTELLIGIBLE).

CALLAWAY: And thank you for sharing some of them with us today.

SPANN: I -- it's a blessing for me to be here. Thank you for having me.

CALLAWAY: All right.

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